I’m a Villainess, Can I Die?

When I opened my eyes, my throat felt dry.
Judging by the rhythmic pattering against the window, it seemed to be raining outside.

I thought about getting up to draw the curtains, but the dull ache in my limbs made even that feel like a task.
There wasn’t a maid waiting by the door today, either.
Ah… right.

Starting today, I was allowed to be alone while I slept.
I had questioned whether having someone watch me at all times was really the right way to "protect" me, but since that was a matter of the past now, I let the thought go with little effort.
Stretching slightly, I forced myself upright.

The messily rumpled blankets made it clear that I had tossed and turned in my sleep.
Stumbling to the side of the bed, I reached for the servant’s bell and gave it a pull.
It had been a long time since I had needed to summon anyone in the morning.

For so long, the moment I awoke, I had heard a maid’s voice greet me like the morning birdsong.
Shortly after, a few maids entered the room.
"Miss, your washbasin is ready."

"Ah, thank you."
The highest tier of hospitality—the silver tray morning wash service.
No matter how many times I experienced it, it was still impressive.

People always wanted to avoid inconveniencing themselves, after all. And in exchange for that convenience, they were willing to pay money.
Admiring the perfectly warmed water, I completed my morning routine.
Soon, dressed in a soft-colored indoor dress, I made my way downstairs to the dining room.

There were two conditions for my newfound freedom—being allowed to sleep alone and, at times, going out unaccompanied.
First, I had to be accompanied by Lukas or someone else whenever I went out.
Second, I had to eat meals with the family.
"Good morning," I greeted as I sat down.

As expected, my entire family was already seated, waiting for me with barely concealed anticipation.
"Yes, did you sleep well, Selina?"
My mother, her hands tightly clasped together, looked as giddy as a young girl.

If someone told me she was the heroine of a romance novel, I might have believed it.
Moved by her sweetness, I also folded my hands together and nodded.
Unlike last time, I wasn’t immediately bombarded with questions.

Of course, it wasn’t as if they could ask about my health every single day, and anything they had been curious about had already been covered.
I swallowed the last bite of roasted potatoes and dabbed at my lips lightly.
Though the three of them had already emptied their plates, the moment I wiped my mouth, they, too, pretended to have just finished eating.

As if they were afraid I’d feel awkward for finishing last.
The sight of it weighed heavily on my chest, like being pressed beneath something enormous.
Was it because I hadn’t eaten breakfast in a while?

No… I knew that wasn’t the real reason.
Still, I settled for that explanation.
With breakfast finished, the real family time began—tea and conversation.

As usual, the political discussions went over my head. I let my gaze drift into the distance, feigning interest, until something caught my attention.
"So, I’ll be going with Lukas," my brother said.
"The temple…"

Father trailed off, glancing at me.
I sipped my tea nonchalantly, pretending not to notice.
"…Make an offering while you’re there. It doesn’t matter how much—just make sure you bring him back."

"Yes, Father. And depending on how things go, I was thinking of staying near the temple for a day."
"A night away?"
Mother set her teacup down, her hands coming together once again—this time in a gesture of concern.

"Yes. Lukas mentioned that persuading him might not be easy. Since we need to bring him back before others notice, I thought it might be best to take our time, even if it means staying overnight."
"Very well. Do as you think best. How many attendants will you take?"
"None. I handled everything myself during my academy days. It’s more of a hassle to bring someone along whenever I step outside."

Oh, well said.
I took another sip of tea, internally cheering.
I wasn’t a child, after all. There was no need to have a chaperone every time I walked down the street—

…Or so I thought.
Then, the memory of several large, brutish thugs came to mind.
And the giant clubs they carried.

…Perhaps one person wouldn’t be so bad.
I swiftly revised my opinion.
But more importantly—

Lukas was leaving.
For an entire night.
This was an opportunity.

He was the greatest obstacle to my plans.
If my brother and Lukas were preparing for an overnight trip, attention would naturally shift in their direction.
I was recovering, and my brother—newly engaged—was still a topic of interest among the nobility.

People would be watching them.
That meant they would be watching me less.
If I had a justifiable reason to step outside while Lukas was gone…

I glanced at the calendar in my head.
Their departure was in three days.
Today, my brother had a scheduled meal with the imperial princess.

And the weather was terrible for traveling overnight.
Tomorrow, the rain would still be settling, and the roads would be muddy.
The day after that, they would be busy making final preparations.

In other words—
I had two days to prepare.
I had no idea why they all seemed so grim about it, but I was strategizing just as seriously in my own way.

If I let this opportunity slip by, I had the sinking feeling that my plans would be delayed indefinitely.
That was not an option.
Because the longer I spent around this family, the more uncomfortable I became.

And, more importantly…
I had started having nightmares.
This translation is the intellectual property of .

The first one had come on the night of the engagement ceremony.
In the dream, swarms of white butterflies fluttered into the air, merging together to form the shape of a person.
As the figure became more defined, an all-too-familiar face emerged—

The real Selina.
She clung to me, sobbing uncontrollably, as if the weight of the entire world had collapsed onto her shoulders.
Frankly, I didn’t understand why she was the one wailing.

She was the one who had done all the terrible things, and yet I had to deal with her tragic, miserable death.
Still, she was the original owner of this body.
And since I had seen firsthand how pathetically she had died, I had no choice but to pat her back in awkward sympathy.

But then…
It happened again.
And again.

Every single night.
At first, she just cried.
Then, she started grabbing me by the collar, shaking me violently, screaming without a sound.

She jabbed her finger at something unseen, her eyes wide with urgency, only to collapse against me in tears again.
For the past week, thanks to this psychotic Selina, I had barely gotten any sleep.
I was exhausted.

Mentally. Physically. Spiritually.
During the day, I was constantly uneasy.
At night, I was constantly exhausted.

If I didn’t sneak in naps throughout the day, I wouldn’t be able to function at all.
"Aiden, is this all of them?"
I pressed a hand against my temple.

The ache in my limbs from this morning hadn’t subsided yet.
For the first time, I was sitting at my desk, feeling its texture beneath my fingers.
It was only today that I realized—

This was what my desk and chair actually felt like.
Until now, the only piece of furniture in my room that had seen any real use was my bed.
Well, at least I had made good use of something.

I tapped the unfamiliar desk idly, waiting for Aiden’s response.
"Yes, miss. For now, this is all of them."
The "all of them" in question was a considerable stack of invitations.

Ever since sickly Selina had made a miraculous reappearance at her engagement, invitations had been pouring in from every direction.
So predictable.
I skimmed through them, flipping open envelope after envelope without hesitation.

Aiden flinched at my merciless handling of the delicate letters and quickly stepped in.
Silently, he took the invitations from me, produced a paper knife, and neatly separated the envelopes, handing me only the actual contents.
Humans really are creatures of tools.

"Hmm… a Rose Garden Party?"
"Yes. Garden parties are popular from early summer until the season ends. Nobles decorate their gardens with roses and host small tea gatherings."
"Oh…"

So, in short, it was a party surrounded by flowers.
I twirled one of the invitations between my fingers.
The golden-edged card bore the insignia of Count Jonas’ household.

"This one will do."
I had chosen it for one reason.
The date.

If I were to attend this garden party in ten days, preparations would need to start immediately.
It was the perfect excuse for an urgent outing.
If I told my family that I wanted to attend a noble’s garden party, they might worry, but ultimately, they would be thrilled.

I felt a pang of guilt, knowing I was yet again using Selina’s family to my advantage.
But was there really any other way?
Living a lie among them like this was worse.

That’s right, Selina. So can you please stop showing up in my dreams?
I gathered the remaining invitations and shoved them into the trash before collapsing onto the bed.
Every muscle in my body throbbed.

"Are you all right, miss?"
Aiden approached, still holding the letters.
I lazily waved a hand. I’m fine.

"Yeah, I’m fine."
"If you’re feeling unwell, please let me know immediately."
"Got it."

Aiden eyed me skeptically but eventually left the room.
…Only to return seconds later, knocking again before stepping inside.
"What now?"

"…Miss, it’s my job to be here."
Ah. Right.
I had only been granted nighttime freedom.

My head throbbed.
I watched as Aiden settled into the chair by the door, then promptly burrowed under my blankets.
I just needed to sleep until the next meal.

And just like that, three meaningless days passed.
I didn’t do anything dramatic.
I wasn’t the real Selina, so writing a will would have been ridiculous.

I had no interest in creating sentimental memories with others, either.
I simply went about my routine—
Eating meals with Selina’s family.

Sleeping.
Nodding absentmindedly at Lukas whenever he stopped by.
Watching the rain-soaked earth dry through the window, appreciating the comfort of a warm house.

Then eating.
Then sleeping again.
It was a fantastic, idyllic existence.

Of course, it was ruined every night when Selina appeared in my dreams to grab me by the throat.
That adorable and terrifying girl.
If I met her in the afterlife, I was going to slap her across the back.

And finally—
The morning of that day arrived.
Sunlight poured through the window.

Too bright.
Too radiant.