I Unknowingly Rejected My Favorite

「Ah~ LukaMangoLingo-nim~ Thank you so much for the 50,000 won~~~」

After the MV went out, Luka also announced a new model of hers.

Her soft pink eyes were twinkling with stars,

「Luka... might die of happiness…」

Her body shook, as if her heart ached, while the Pink Army showed their hype by chatting and calling her cute.

And I, her boyfriend, was watching it all happening in real-time.

“Ah. 5,000 won is really nothing though...”

I…I also…! Wanted to do that!

Reaction from Luka! Me want!

Her personal stream started after the MV and interviews on the official YM Entertainment Channel ended.

The Pink Army was happily praising CLOSER and Luka.

「HungryHunter-nim! Thank you so much for the 30,000 won!! I’ll put it to good use!」

Of course, donations in the tens of thousands won poured in. Today, the largest amount of dono was from a dude who gave her a whopping 500,000 won.

It was already set in stone that she wouldn’t really communicate with her chats. Rather, this was like a period where she’d be receiving and reacting to her donos.

「Ang~ Luka-chii!」

She winked, conveying her gratitude.

Ugh, I had the money, but why couldn’t I spend it on her?!

If I were flat-out broke, it would be better! I’d just suck my fingers and watch! But, having money and not being allowed to use it, the frustration was on a whole different level!

In the end, with tears in my eyes, I made up my mind to send her a 5,000 won dono at once.

Until now, she had reacted calmly to everything, regardless of the amount she received, but when she saw mine, her body flinched.

Others might not have noticed it, but I could immediately catch the subtle shift in her expression.

Man, modern science and tech were amazing.

Capturing even those split seconds of movement, sheesh.

「Ah~~ Lucario-tan~~ Thank you, I’ll put it to good use!」

Anyway, she added a ‘tan’ to my name. That was probably the kind of special treatment she thought she should give me.

“Hehe.”

Ah… It felt nice…

Should I do it again?

Just another 5,000 won when I got the chance?

I knew that people wouldn’t understand why the hell would anyone spend their money for this.

They’d think that this was the equivalent of giving money to a complete stranger for no reason.

But people who did this never asked anyone for their understanding anyways.

This should apply to all fandoms, not just the vtuber fandom.

The important part here wasn’t the money, but the fact that they were cheering on that person.

It was the process that gave them self-satisfaction.

I knew that this wasn’t really a rational, or even a healthy lifestyle, though.

[Anyway~ I was planning to talk about the promise I mentioned before.]

After the hype died down to some extent, Luka cleared her throat before saying that, rekindling the flames of excitement in her chat.

[HORROR GAME!!!!]

[Luka-nim, can’t you do the shorts that are trending on youtube?]

[please do the polaris challenge!]

It felt like those guys were just spitting out their personal diaries.

The Pink Army was pouring out all the things they wanted to make Luka do without any filter.

「Now, now. Everyone, calm down. Actually, I’ve already prepared something after much consideration.」

An endless amount of Pink Army munching on popcorn emoji, PArmyPopcorn, flooded the chat.

「Ugh... That thing I really hate doing and just looking at makes me have a fit! That thing, you know…」

Any Pink Army who had watched her streams for even a bit would know what she was talking about.

Realizing that their wishes were about to be fulfilled, they all spammed to cheer for Luka.

[Horror game! Horror game! Horror game! Horror game! Horror game! Horror game! Horror game! Horror game! Horror game! Horror game! Horror game! Horror game!]

[omg. have u picked a game already?]

[you absolutely HAVE to stream it!]

[Luka-tan is so cuteeeeee!]

Damn, I felt superior now.

You guys didn’t even know what she was doing, ha!

I was the one who chose the game she’d be playing! This was all because she promised me!

When she revealed the game’s title, the Pink Army went wild and a bunch of people rushed to play the MV.

「I’ll play it if the song enters the top 20 on the music charts! Please give us lots of support!」

By the way, I’ve started playing the song long ago.

* * *

I was sitting in the cafe while waiting for Oppa, holding my hand mirror while checking my makeup.

My eyebrows bothered me, I messed up a little when I drew them.

I knew that Oppa wouldn’t be sharp enough to notice this, but it still bothered me.

Ugh, Kim Doah… You just had to mess this up, did you?

-Ring ring

When I turned around at the sound of the bell, I saw my boyfriend there, exuding an overwhelming presence while looking around to find me,

“Over here, Oppa!”

When I waved my hand, Oppa smiled brightly and walked towards me.

“Did you wait for long?”

“About five minutes?”

“Ah, okay. I’ll go get some drinks for us.”

When he turned towards the counter, I stared intently at his back.

The face of the part-timer was visible beyond his back.

Since I was sitting quite far in the front, I could observe her expression.

When Oppa struck up a conversation with her, she let out a bright smile.

She didn’t even do that when I ordered.

At that blatant difference in treatment, I made a bitter smile.

Well, it was understandable since it was Oppa.

Rather, I should feel proud to have someone like him as my boyfriend.

When he came back with the coffee, I reached out my hand towards him.

“Hold my hand.”

Others might find it cheesy, but I really liked fiddling with his hand.

I gently scratched his veins by wiggling index finger, meanwhile he just smiled at me.

“I have something to tell you.”

“Something to tell me?”

I was enjoying the sensation alone, but Oppa suddenly looked into my eyes. There was a very rare seriousness in his gaze.

...What was it?

Did I do something wrong?

Was he going to scold me for reacting too enthusiastically yesterday?

But I had no choice.

The only thing I could do for those who donated so much was to earnestly say thank you and act cute.

If I could sing as well as Leah, I would’ve sung, but I couldn’t, that was why I didn’t do it yesterday.

“What is it?”

I subtly pulled my hand back and asked, watching his reaction.

Taking out his phone and tapping on the screen, Oppa handed me the music site page.

“I’ve been playing it non-stop since yesterday.”

...For a moment, I almost blurted out something mean, but I managed to hold it in.

“Why do you look so serious when saying that…?”

“Because it’s important.”

“Is it really?”

When I protested his somewhat ridiculous claim, his eyes widened, as if I was in the wrong for not understanding his view.

“If this momentum continues, you might really be able to play the horror game!”

Hearing his enthusiastic voice, I didn’t know what kind of expression I should make.

“Well, since I promised, I have to do it...”

Honestly, neither I nor other members could predict how well the song would perform.

Each of their promises were all different, but the most extreme one was Clover unnie’s.

A 48-hour endurance stream.

Jeez, no way I would be able to do that.

24 hours were already too much for me, 48 hours?

Maybe Unnie was praying that it didn’t become too popular.

“Anyways, I’m really going to play it every single day without skipping a single day, so keep that in mind.”

“Do whatever you want.”

It was supposed to be about me, but Oppa kept talking about things unrelated to me for 30 minutes straight.

Didn’t he have anything he was really curious about Doah?

Listening to Oppa continuously talking about Luka and CLOSER, I said quietly.

“...Don’t you have anything to ask Doah?”

As if something pricked his conscience at my question, Taemin oppa gulped down his coffee.

“...So, uh, what did you have for lunch?”

“Is…that really what you’re curious about?”

Right, this was how it had always been.

I was always interested in the things that he liked.

What he did throughout the day.

The things that he planned to do for tomorrow.

But he didn’t seem to feel the same way as me.

Even when he asked me about my real life matters, it felt like I couldn’t erase Luka’s shadow from his question.

It made me anxious, made me think that he was just forcing himself to care about me, and that made my self-esteem drop to the depths.

“Ah, why wouldn’t I be curious?”

He seemed to try passing it off innocently, but I was already upset, I couldn’t let that slide anymore.

“Then please...”

Ah. My tears suddenly welled up.

Why did I always cry so easily?

This wasn’t even something worth crying for, but my throat was gradually tightening.

“Ask about Doah too. Sniffle.”

Ah, I don’t know anymore! I’ll just say it!

Besides, he only said what he wanted to say.

“Pay some attention to me too... You mean jerk...”

Beyond my blurry vision, I felt others’ gaze coming this way.

***

https://ko-fi.com/genesisforsaken