I Start with a Bad Hand!

Cedric, who had been silently watching me, fished something out from his coat and tossed it to me. As I reflexively caught it, I felt the smooth texture beneath my gloves.

“This is…”

A pair of pristine winter gloves. The smooth leather gleamed, and fluffy white fur adorned the edges. The name of the artisan who crafted the gloves was inscribed on a small golden plate at the wrist. It was easy to see at a glance that this was a valuable item.

‘So the gift in that box was…’

As I stared down, unable to say anything, Cedric realized I had recognized the sender of the gift.

I looked up, my eyes shifting from the gloves to him, ready to hear what he had to say. Cedric was wearing an expression I had never seen before. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, then his expression hardened again.

Taking a step into the swirling snow outside the castle, Cedric spoke without looking back.

“Those hands look unsightly, cover them up.”

I looked down at my hands, scarred from archery training. I took a deep breath. Although the gloves were given to me, I felt as if something had been taken away instead.

I wanted to toss the white gloves aside. But I still had some self-control left.

“I don’t consider these scars something to hide.”

I’ll return them. As I approached to give the gloves back, Cedric stopped me effortlessly.

“How long do you plan to stay in such an estate?”

There was about a step left between Cedric and me. His words were ambiguous, and I raised my head to look at him. What was he implying? Was he telling me to leave? I was already in an isolated estate, having been cast out from the ducal house. Did he find even this sight unbearable? As I searched for words that wouldn’t provoke him, I finally spoke.

“As long as my foster parents want me to stay—”

“You truly don’t understand.”

It was baffling that he was blaming me for not understanding his unclear statement. Giving up on arguing, I kept silent.

“When will you stop wasting away in such a secluded estate?”

At last, Cedric’s intention became clear. He wasn’t asking why I wasn’t leaving; he was asking why I was staying here.

“I heard you plan not to return to the capital after graduating from the academy.”

Cedric was asking about something that shouldn’t concern him. Why was he curious about my future plans? The gloves in my hand and his obscure questions left me in the dark.

‘How does Cedric know about this in the first place?’

I had only mentioned my post-graduation plans to Agnes and Irene. As my expression shifted subtly, Cedric spoke again in a brusque tone.

“…I’ve heard you’ve been getting quite excellent grades at the academy.”

Thinking I might have misheard him over the winter wind, I sniffled once and asked again.

“…What?”

Cedric’s expression slightly tightened into a frown.

“…What exactly are you talking about? I don’t… quite understand.”

But his attitude was so inexplicable that his slight frown didn’t bother me. Cedric didn’t hide the fact that he was responding to what he perceived as a foolish question with strained patience.

“You’ve been causing quite a stir.”

“…Did you approach me this early in the morning just to say that?”

With a short laugh, I put my hands in my coat pockets. I couldn’t decipher Cedric’s intentions.

Given all the things he had said and done to me and Dietrich, it was quite brazen for him to speak as if none of that mattered. His audacity left me speechless for a moment.

“What were you thinking, coming to the capital? You told me not to even think about catching the Young Duke’s eye.”

Finally, I threw back at him the words he had spoken to me at the entrance ball. Cedric’s tirade abruptly halted.

“You even doubted my second-place admission, saying I must have tricked people like my ‘biological father.'”

“….”

“So why are you curious about it now?”

The sound of the wind swirling around us filled the long silence.

“…I am both a person of Elexion and a subject of the Empire. As a loyal subject, it’s only natural to be interested in talents that will advance the Empire.”

Did Elius agree to this?

My bafflement was evident, and I didn’t bother to hide it. The idea of Cedric being interested in nurturing talents for the Empire was something neither I nor anyone else could take seriously. Seeing my incredulous expression, Cedric’s jaw clenched.

“If you want to settle for this dump and be content with your situation, then go ahead.”

He looked somewhat angry. Honestly, I wondered if he was crazy.

‘Why does he look like that…?’

Some people can make someone feel destitute with just a few words, even without taking anything from them. Cedric’s words had turned this place, which had made my life quite peaceful, into a dump in an instant. Each time I heard and experienced such remarks, I was reminded that my judgment was indeed correct.

‘If I stay here, I’ll have to endure this kind of treatment for the rest of my life.’

Better to finish things cleanly than to live like this forever. In a world where there’s nothing to love, facing such things and living miserably is not worth it. Looking at Cedric’s distorted face, I once again affirmed the validity of my choice.

Yet, my chest tightened, making it hard to breathe. Even though I was sure I was right, a corner of my heart felt stifled, made worse by Cedric’s subsequent words.

“Is staying here, where you can’t even have a proper servant or a decent set of clothes, your best option?”

His tone was filled with condescension, as if looking down on me. If your foster parents forcefully left you with this estate, unable to sustain itself, then I apologize for my rudeness. The biting remarks were laden with a sense of superiority. All I could do, flabbergasted, was voice the deep-seated question rising within me.

“Why do you care about that, Cedric?”

Above all, Cedric’s behavior was overstepping. Just as I owed him nothing, he had no right to comment on my life. Since I wouldn’t be staying in this world for long, there was no need to worry about graduating or going to the capital.

Yet, I didn’t want to say that to Cedric. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me acknowledge his supposed superiority.

“Young Duke.”

At that moment, a knight from the ducal house hurried over to him. His face looked urgent, and the whispered words carried a sense of urgency. Cedric, who had not changed his expression, sent the knight away with a nod, just as he had before.

“I should go.”

Cedric, now hooded, turned his back as if he had no further business with me. His cold voice implied my question wasn’t even worth answering. Watching him walk away, I found myself thinking that I wished Cedric’s marble-like face would crack and shatter.

I ran through the deep snow, cutting off Cedric. Trying not to show that I was slightly out of breath, I met his water-colored eyes as he looked down at me.

“…I will not be returning to the capital after graduation. Since the Baron took me in when I was cast out on the streets, I have obligations to him. The state of the estate is none of your concern.”

Cedric’s head, mouth, and eyes all tilted, as if skewed.

“Why isn’t it a concern? Do you think you can accomplish anything as a lord in a place filled with old men ready for their funerals?”

“Why not? I’m the youngest here, so if all the villagers become corpses, at least I can manage their graves.”

There’s no particular order to death, and unless something drastic happens, I’ll likely be the first to die here. But there’s no need to tell Cedric that.

‘Wait… what?’

When I looked up at Cedric, he seemed different. He wore an expression of restrained anger. Unlike before, he was holding himself back, showing an unusual and inexplicable amount of patience. In the past, he would have exploded at the slightest provocation.

‘What is this? Why is he acting so uncharacteristically?’

His efforts strangely irritated me. It was hard to believe that Cedric had matured as a person, especially considering the things he had said today. I stared at his face for a moment before speaking.

“…Moreover, there are places in this world that become repulsive just because a certain person is there.”

The words slipped out. I was curious to see how much Cedric could endure, to test his limits.

“No matter how much of a dump this place is, it doesn’t matter. Even if my leg breaks again and I have to crawl on the ground, even if I have to be buried here with my skull melting away, it’s better than going to the capital.”

Thank you for your concern. I bowed deeply and looked directly into those water-colored eyes. The sight of his clenched jaw was satisfying. Yet, his restraint still bothered me. As I moved to walk past him, I realized I was still holding the white gloves Cedric had forcibly given me.

“I’ll return these gloves. They’re not something I should have.”

Just as he had done, I forced the gloves into Cedric’s hand. It was more like I shoved them into his clenched fist. As I finally walked past him, I encountered someone who shouldn’t have been there.

“…!”

The owner of this dump, the one who would pass this decrepit estate on to Dietrich,

“Baron…”

Baron Degoph was standing there.

“Baron, you say. It’s been a long time since I’ve heard that title.”

He still looked kind, but there was a hint of hurt in his expression.