I Start with a Bad Hand!

The chilling anger filled the grand hall, and even though the hostility wasn’t directed at me, I felt paralyzed by the silence. Logan, the one at the center of it all, seemed oblivious to the animosity aimed at him and continued to babble.

“That room… hic, it was supposed to be Dietrich’s. She was supposed to be there.”

In that tense moment, it was Baron Degoph who spoke first.

“Are you saying that my child was supposed to be in that room?” he asked, his voice icy.

Half out of his mind, Logan didn’t seem to recognize who was addressing him. He kept muttering the same thing.

“She was supposed to be there, why, why…”

“Why is it that my daughter being in that room is a reason for you to break in through the window?” the Baron demanded, trying to contain his fury.

Logan’s sobs suddenly ceased. He seemed to finally realize all the eyes on him.

“Why would a young nobleman, without any formal invitation, feel the need to sneak into my daughter’s room… through the window?” the Baron continued, his voice filled with controlled anger.

“As the lord of Heylem and a host to Lady Horatius, I will formally lodge a complaint with the Usher Viscountcy. Regardless of being a viscount’s son, no nobleman can trespass into a noble lady’s room!” he declared.

“No, that’s not it, it’s Dietrich!” Logan’s desperate eyes turned to me. “You told me to come. You said…”

I stared at his tear-streaked face. The situation was unfolding as I had hoped, but I felt a deep sense of defeat growing within me. I suppressed those feelings and spoke calmly.

“What are you talking about now?”

“What?”

Logan’s lips began to tremble violently at my words. Feigning confusion, I frowned and asked him, “Are you saying that I asked the viscount’s son to enter Lady Irene’s room alone?”

“That’s…”

“I have been with Lady Irene in her room ever since dinner. If I had made such a request, I would have left her alone in the room.”

“That’s right. I was there the whole time too. What are you talking about?” Agnes interjected, shouting.

“Enough.”

Irene’s quiet voice cut through the commotion. Despite being the center of the incident, her face remained calm, though her eyes burned with a fury like a blizzard.

“It would be best if the viscount’s son remained silent. Your whining is unpleasant.”

She called a knight over with a gesture and whispered something to him. The knight, with a stern expression, listened and then nodded in understanding.

“…Once the blizzard subsides, the Horatius family will send a formal letter. Be prepared.”

With Irene’s brief conclusion, Klaus roughly released Logan, who was still whimpering. The tension in the room was nearing its breaking point. Butler August approached to support Logan under the Baron’s orders. It was a final act of mercy before formally addressing the issue once the storm cleared.

“Wait, wait a moment,” Logan’s voice stopped us as we were about to head to our respective rooms. His nose was clogged, and he mumbled as he pointed to his twisted leg, now exposed to the bone.

“What about… hic, my leg?” he whimpered.

A small gasp escaped from Agnes. Baron Degoph answered, his tone indifferent despite the serious injury.

“…It’s impossible to call for a physician until the blizzard stops.”

“What do you mean?” Logan cried out.

“It’s as I said. In this weather, there’s no way to call for a physician. Even if we could, it’s impossible for anyone to reach the castle in this storm.”

Until the snowstorm stops, there’s nothing we can do. With those words, Logan began to cry again, but we all dispersed to our respective rooms.

As we returned to Irene’s room, Agnes nudged me and asked quietly, “How long will the blizzard last?”

Without much feeling, I replied, “Usually about three days.”

“How are we supposed to spend three more days with him here?”

“Exactly.”

Our dry conversation carried a strange sense of excitement and exhilaration. The sound of the snowstorm echoed through the castle, making my heart flutter with a peculiar thrill.

***

“Do you think the blizzard will stop soon?”

“…Yeah.”

Sara, looking out the window, asked me. I glanced at the dark sky as I soaked a towel in water. The intensity of the snowstorm had clearly lessened compared to a few days ago. As I continued to soak the towel in warm water, Sara cautiously asked,

“Are you going to go yourself, miss? Not sending me or Mr. August?”

Ignoring her worried gaze, I replied calmly, “Yes. Even though that incident happened… Logan Usher is still a guest that I have to ‘attend to’.”

Having neglected such a serious injury for three days, it seemed a tough task. I smiled reassuringly and left the kitchen.

Two of the marquess’s knights stood guard outside the room. Recognizing me, they gave me a reluctant nod and stepped aside. Inside the dim room, only the sound of Logan’s sobs could be heard. I looked at Logan, who lay in an awkward position.

“Who’s… Dietrich?” he asked, sensing my presence as I approached. Logan, groaning, suddenly lunged forward and yelled,

“Dietrich!”

“You shouldn’t be moving like that yet.”

“You… Why are you doing this to me? You were the one who told me to come here, and to come to your room,” Logan stammered.

“Logan.”

I looked at his leg, covered in bruises and blood. Could even a priest heal such a neglected injury? I remembered a conversation with a priest about healing.

“If it’s not a functional issue, a priest cannot heal it.”

So, scars couldn’t be removed. I remembered asking if the scars on Icarus’s body could be removed and feeling disappointed when the answer was no. Now, it was a meaningless question, but my concern wasn’t whether Logan’s leg would scar. Could a completely necrotic, ruined leg be healed? Money wouldn’t be an issue.

I sat on the edge of his bed to change the bandage. Even the slight movement caused Logan visible pain. I slowly touched the bandage.

“Does it hurt a lot?”

“Of course it does. You should know what it’s like to have a broken leg.”

“Yes, I do.”

I pulled the bandage tight with force. Logan screamed in pain, his voice muffled by his hand over his mouth.

“So… Now you understand my feelings. Let me ask you one thing.”

Logan stopped struggling. Satisfied with the cessation of his trembling, I asked calmly, “Why did you abandon me then?”

I removed my hand from his mouth and grabbed him by the collar, pulling him close.

“What… what are you saying?” Logan, who had been looking at me with bloodshot eyes, seemed to stop breathing. I continued to press him, keeping my gaze fixed on him.

“On those stairs… why did you leave me there after I fell?” Huh, Logan?

His face, which had been flushed red, began to turn pale.

***

That day, I had a rare conversation with Elius. We needed to adjust our schedules for the document review to investigate handwriting. Normally, this wouldn’t have been necessary, but both Elius and I were quite busy. That day, we had to briefly coordinate our schedules in the hallway without considering other people’s eyes.

“Four thirty in the morning, two days from now.”

“Yes.”

As always, our conversation didn’t last long. Elius turned away without even a goodbye. Saying goodbye to someone who always turned their back on you felt meaningless. I shrugged my shoulders and moved on.

“Uh… Dietrich.”

At the end of my lowered gaze, I saw a pair of shiny brown shoes. But there was no need to look up to see the face. Even though it made me shiver a little, I could recognize the voice without seeing the person.

I slowly lifted my head to meet the face that had avoided my gaze.

“Hello, Logan.”

Logan, usually full of confidence, stood hesitantly by my side, looking like he wanted to say something.

‘It’s been a while since the ball, and suddenly he’s acting like this.’

The conversation didn’t continue after the greeting. When I moved as if to pass him, Logan’s soft hand grabbed my arm roughly.

“How have you been? We haven’t seen each other since the ball.”

Actually, I’ve been looking for you a few times. Logan scratched the back of his head sheepishly and tightened his grip on my arm. He knew I was looking at the hand holding my arm, yet he didn’t let go. His slightly sweaty hand was soaking into my jacket.

It was only after I said, “Can you let go of my hand?” that Logan released his grip, as if startled.

“…I’ve been busy with personal matters.”

Ah, I see. Logan nodded while not making any move to step aside. What is he up to? I tried to figure out his intentions, but Logan answered my unspoken question himself.

“Is it something related to the royal family?”

“Huh?”

“I saw you with the second prince a few times.”

A few times? We haven’t spent that much time together, so how did he see us? Logan, sensing my suspicion, continued, now almost defensively.

“I heard you excelled at the friendly match too. I wasn’t selected, so I didn’t see it myself.”

I heard that the prince noticed how outstanding you are. Logan muttered, looking somewhat disappointed.

I stared at Logan’s face for a moment before nodding.

“Yes. But I didn’t meet the second prince for royal matters. He had a ‘personal’ matter to discuss with me.”

Logan’s face now looked uneasy.

“…Personal?”

“Yes.”

“Was the person you were just talking to also…”

Has Logan always been this interested in Dietrich? Logan’s lips twisted downwards as he kept probing. Logan once twisted his lips in the opposite direction.

‘That day when I asked Logan, not Icarus, to the ball,’

When I made Icarus miserable, Logan couldn’t hide his joy and smiled brightly. It was only natural. After all, Dietrich, who had a choice in the royal family, chose him. It wasn’t a grand selection, but for someone like Logan, who had never achieved anything on his own, it was a source of pride. Dietrich, who was favored by the prince, chose him, and Logan took it as a sign that he was worth as much as the prince himself.

Logan often entrusted his value to the achievements of others. ‘And this guy left someone in the middle of the forest?’ Seeing Logan standing there helplessly, I couldn’t help but let out a sigh. It was a sigh of pity, separate from personal feelings, the kind that escapes when witnessing something pitiful and pathetic.

Logan Usher, the useless member of the Usher family, unlike his competent siblings. The inferiority complex he once poured out to Dietrich was clearly written in that “script.”

Logan Usher: Father told me not to think about coming back to the capital. All my brothers work for the royal family, but I’m too stupid to be of any help.

Logan Usher: (Sobs)

Logan Usher: But it’s not my fault that I don’t understand the lessons. What can I do if the tutor teaches weirdly? It’s all his fault that I can’t stay at home and have to wander around.

But that didn’t mean I wanted to give him anything. The only thing my pity could offer was a sigh. I slowly nodded.

“…Yes. The Crown Prince.”

“W-wow. How do you know him?”

“…We met a few times through the student council. After that, he graciously took an interest in me.”

I answered with a light smile. If Elius had heard this, he would have flayed me on the spot, but…

‘Logan wouldn’t dare approach Elius.’

Despite getting the answer he wanted, Logan stood there with a complex expression. I knew that look well. It was the same one he had when he received a scolding letter from his father or when the butler refused his request to return to the capital.

Then I said something else instead of giving Logan an answer.

“But it’s not as fun as talking with you.”

“Wh-what?”

To be honest… I was curious. How far did Logan’s spectrum of patheticness extend? How far could he go in his wretchedness? Perhaps Logan wasn’t inherently evil but simply pitiful, and his extreme pettiness made him seem wicked.

Maybe that’s why I took a gamble. A gamble where even I didn’t know the stakes. Between ‘There’s no way he’d do that’ and ‘He’s the type who would go that far,’ my intuition was unclear.

Logan looked at me with a face of disbelief. Suppressing the deep skepticism rising within me, I continued.

“No matter who I share private moments with, it’s never as enjoyable as it was with you in Heylem. The time I spent with you was very… special to me.”

That’s because you are a special person to me. Logan’s eyes started to glisten. His gaze softened, revealing an unexpected innocence. Observing this change without much emotion, I couldn’t help but wonder to myself. Did Dietrich ever feel something for such a face?

“I-I also often thought about the times I spent with you since I came to the academy.”

At those words, I knew it was the moment to lay my cards on the table. Feeling a part of me wither inside, I took a deep breath and looked straight into Logan’s eyes.

“…I think it has to be you.”

“W-what?”

“No matter how much I think about it, I want to start over with you.”