I Start with a Bad Hand!

What is this guy’s deal?

I wasn’t so much angry as I was baffled. Stepping on the protruding roots, I mulled over the day’s events. Very late at night, Logan had secretly asked to meet me. He mentioned having a dress ready at a tailor’s in the capital and even arranged for a carriage early in the morning. But then the coachman vanished. When I stepped outside, there was no sign of him anywhere.

What the heck is going on?

It seemed impossible that this sequence of events didn’t involve Logan’s direct intention. What on earth was he thinking, pulling a stunt like this?

I thought about it as I trudged over fallen logs. The return path was one frequently used by carriages and wasn’t particularly dangerous, but the terrain included some mountainous sections, which would have been quite uncomfortable in high-heeled shoes. The carriage had wound around so much that the normally straightforward trip to the academy became a confusing maze.

I finally got back to the academy after 2 PM.

“…Zombie Ella?”

Agnes dropped her comb, her mouth agape. I just nodded.

“Did you get buried alive somewhere? What happened?”

“It’s a long story.”

After calming down a furious Agnes and explaining the situation, I went to take a bath around 3 PM. By the time I finished and came out, it was 3:40 PM. The ball was at 6 PM. I thought as I dried my hair.

I was cutting it close, but it wasn’t too late to attend the ball at all.

Logan Usher: Too bad it turned out this way.

Logan Usher: Dietrich?

Logan Usher: Are you crying?

Logan Usher: Don’t cry. There will be other opportunities, and we can always meet again. I promise to be with you for the formal knight’s oath ceremony.

The book described the situation as if Dietrich had no chance at all. Even if I moved sluggishly, I had enough time to get ready and still punch Logan in the face when I saw him.

Then, as I looked down to wipe the remaining water off my legs, I noticed something. A thin scar. The words of the priest came back to me—how they could only heal functional issues with the body, not scars if treated too late.

“…!”

Noticing the scar made my body go cold. How could I have completely forgotten about this? Even though I had been in this body for a while and had grown accustomed to its experiences, it was shocking.

Unlike me now, with a healed leg, Dietrich back then didn’t have that luxury. The path that took me a long time to walk would have been an ordeal for someone with a leg injury.

‘…Leaving a kid with a bad leg stranded in the middle of the forest?’

My neck stiffened. Instead of wasting time thinking about it, I should have immediately gone after Logan and grabbed him by the collar. Just as I was about to storm out, I hesitated with a question.

‘But then what?’

Sure, I could punch Logan in the face or cause a scene at the ball, yelling at him. That might give me temporary satisfaction, but what then? That moment of triumph would be fleeting compared to the lasting grief Dietrich experienced. One punch wouldn’t change Logan’s life.

What’s crucial is what comes after. I’d have to explain why I resorted to violence, repeatedly justifying my actions. The mental energy and time spent on that would outweigh any immediate satisfaction.

More importantly, how do I prove Logan’s intentions?

I didn’t know the coachman’s identity, and even if I found him, how would I prove he intentionally abandoned me on Logan’s orders? Even if I could, would Logan admit to it? He had set everything up so carefully that it was hard to speak out or tell anyone.

‘So just getting angry and hitting him won’t solve anything.’

I calmed my rising anger and thought carefully. Logan Usher had toyed with Dietrich out of boredom, left him injured, and continued to deceive him at the academy in underhanded ways.

Logan Usher: You’re a beautiful person.

Logan Usher: Truly.

Logan Usher: I want to cherish you forever.

Logan Usher: So don’t cry. (He kisses you.)

Logan had led an easy life, facing no real consequences for his actions and thinking he could get away with just sweet-talking Dietrich.

‘Maybe he’s been able to get away with this because she’s surrounded by shady, insane people.’

I didn’t want my future actions to become an interesting anecdote that added charm to Logan’s otherwise insignificant life. Something like, ‘There was this crazy girl who was obsessed with me at the academy….’ I glanced at the clock. Two hours left. Tight for preparing for the ball but enough to decide what I needed to do.

Just before the ball began, I hid and observed Logan. I began to grasp the source of Dietrich’s lingering resentment. For a more trivial reason than I imagined, Logan had left Dietrich in the forest.

Logan, dressed in a sleek suit, was escorting someone. His dirty blonde hair and wide smile couldn’t be hidden by the mask. It wasn’t surprising, but it wasn’t pleasant either. Imagining Dietrich’s view of him after struggling back with an injured leg made it worse.

Logan didn’t seem to care why the girl he sent to get a dress didn’t return or where she was now. That face was hard to endure.

Dietrich wasn’t regretful because he didn’t go to the ball with Logan or missed it.

He was someone who could be abandoned in the middle of the forest without anyone worrying. Someone who couldn’t respond to half-hearted excuses. Someone who could be treated with such casual indifference and not feel any guilt.

Logan Usher: Too bad it turned out this way.

Logan Usher: Dietrich?

Logan Usher: Are you crying?

Logan Usher: Don’t cry. There will be other opportunities, and we can always meet again. I promise to be with you for the formal knight’s oath ceremony.

Dietrich couldn’t respond to such deceitful consolation.

‘The regret is becoming someone who could be treated like that.’

I wiped my tears, realizing I could now completely separate my physical reactions from my emotions.

‘Too bad,’ he said. This implied Logan had a plausible excuse for the coachman or feigned ignorance when Dietrich confronted him.

‘Did he really think Dietrich would believe that?’

Logan treated people like fools, like a dumb chicken hiding its head in the hay, thinking no one could see it.

I watched Logan and his partner enter the ballroom. Strangely, the face half-covered by the mask looked familiar.

‘Who is that person?’

I furrowed my brow, feeling like I had seen them somewhere before, but they soon disappeared beyond the entrance of the ballroom.

Feeling the ache in my legs, I crouched down. Unlike the noisy first floor where the ballroom was, the place I stood was shrouded in darkness.

‘Today’s just been a bust….’

I had woken up early, walked the mountain path back to the academy, and then witnessed that scene. It was more than I could handle. 

‘I can meet Logan after the ball. For now, I should go back and rest.’

Agnes would understand if she heard my story. Thinking of her eyes sparkling with the hope of attending the ball together, I started walking slowly. The sound of my quiet sniffles echoed down the hallway. Trying to ignore it, I thought of what I needed to do.

‘I need to organize the information I have so far. I also need to visit Lymus Street. And… about the handwriting on the portrait and the note.’

I was just about to turn into the second-floor corridor when I heard a voice from below.

“Dietrich?”

It was a voice filled with disbelief and a hint of curiosity.

I stopped, and the person began to run up the stairs. As they emerged from the dark end of the hallway, I saw they were wearing a dark blue mask covering half their face, fitting for a masquerade.

“Dietrich!”

The light scent of grass reached me before the outstretched hand. Their chest heaved with labored breaths. I looked up at them.

When I didn’t respond, they caught their breath and cautiously removed their mask, as if thinking I didn’t recognize them.

But I knew who they were, even with the mask on. Their eyes were the same shade of green as those of my beloved friend. The long hair, neatly combed back, was darker. When our eyes met, they squinted slightly in a smile.

“I’m not too late, am I?”