I Only Love My Greatest Enemy

The pig had two bite marks on one of its legs. Count Hapsburg looked at the animal with puzzled eyes. The pig was happily eating its slop. Hapsburg looked at the other animals. Each of them had several sets of bite marks scattered across their bodies.

“That’s strange. Something bit all our pigs,” he said.

“Maybe it’s a swarm of mosquitos?” his wife suggested.

“It’s probably that,” Count Hapsburg admitted. “I’ve never seen anything like these bite marks, but it could just be some strange type of mosquito.”

“I haven't seen mosquito bites like this either. If this continues, we might have to call in someone who knows animals better.”

“Yes, but for now, let’s keep things quiet. Our future son-in-law just showed up, and we don’t want to freak him out over some mosquitos.”

Armand was around the corner, listening to the conversation. He breathed a sigh of relief.

“Thank the gods my plan worked. I didn’t have time to buy animals yesterday, especially since I had to carve another stake, and I had to drink blood. I only took a little bit of blood from each pig so they wouldn’t die. Then, I made sure to bite them in multiple places so it would look like a swarm of mosquitos bit them. I’ll need to make sure to get some animals I can feed off of today. I can’t risk Eris finding out that I’m a moroi,” Armand thought.

He walked across the castle courtyard, making his way to a secret exit that Eris shouldn’t have known about for a few years and he only found out when she told him this morning.

“Did you see what happened to the pigs?” she asked.

“Yes, a swarm of mosquitos,” he answered.

“They looked like Nosfer bite marks, but the Nosfer didn’t attack our livestock last time,” Eris said.

“Did Armand’s presence somehow change its behavior?” she thought.

“They look like Nosfer bite marks, but they’re a bit different. I’ve seen these before, and I can assure you they are from mosquitos,” Armand stated.

“Thank the gods Eris doesn’t know there are multiple types of vampires.”

“Then let’s get moving. I don’t want to be gone too long,” Eris brushed her hair to the side, walking past Armand.

She had an axe in her hand. Armand gave a quick glance at the side of his shirt. A slight bulge stuck out of it.

“I’m certain that Eris doesn’t want me dead, but I’ll keep this wheellock pistol at my side just in case,” he thought.

Eris and Armand moved into an abandoned building covered in dirt and dust. Rotting wood surrounded them. The smell of decay pervaded the air. With every step Eris and Armand took, the floorboards creaked and groaned. Armand made sure that Eris was ahead of him. He kept his hand near his wheellock pistol. The boy was ready to draw it at any moment.

“Maybe I should shoot Eris in the back after we kill the Nosfer? I could save so many people by doing this. She’s never changing her ways, and even if she loves me, I won’t be able to convince her,” Armand thought.

He gazed right at Eris’ head.

“I could hit it…”

Eris interrupted his thoughts, “Armand, why do you care so much about the commoners?”

“A leader doesn’t need a reason to care about their people,” Armand answered.

“I will never understand you, Armand. Why don’t you look down on the commoners? Why don’t you see them as the subhumans they are? Why can’t you realize that the best thing you can do for yourself is use commoners and throw them away when they’re no longer useful?” she thought.

“Armand, how did you get so far caring about commoners? You were my greatest enemy, and I don’t think you’re inferior or superior to me,” Eris said.

“Treating commoners well has its benefits. For one thing, they’re less likely to betray or rebel against you,” Armand stated.

“But so does using them and throwing them away. You won’t have to waste time and resources protecting them unless you have no other choice,” she replied.

“I wouldn’t expect someone like you to understand,” he said.

“You’re right. I don’t understand, but I know it’s important to you,” Eris told him. “And I’m serious about our marriage, Armand. So, why don’t we make a deal? I will not allow bandits to harm my commoners in exchange for the power I’ll get through our marriage. If you can get me more power than I would get from using the commons and throwing them away, I will treat my commoners better.”

“I’ll pay the bandits to attack other lords’ commoners instead of letting them attack mine. The wealth I’ll get from Armand’s lands should be more than enough to cover the cost,” she thought.

“She’s just going to get the bandits to attack other lords’ commoners, but I was planning on killing those bandits anyway. In any case, this gives me a way to keep Eris from troubling the commons. Maybe Eris really is slowly changing her ways? I’ll hold off on shooting her,” Armand contemplated.

“I accept that deal,” he said.

“By the way, you’re not planning on killing all the bandits the moment we’re married, are you?” Eris asked.

“If I was, would I tell you?” Armand questioned.

She responded with a smirk.

“You know, now that I’m trying to romance Armand, this dance of manipulation of ours is actually pretty fun,” Eris thought.

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The building’s cellar was a dark place with the smell of decay wafting through the air. This air was so dry that the spit in Armand and Eris’ mouths evaporated. Armand felt something squishy under his foot. He looked down to see a rotting rat. Hundreds of ants were consuming the creature. They dragged its organs away to feed their colony. Without a moment’s hesitation, Armand stepped off the rat and shook his foot to get the ants off it.

Armand looked around. Numerous barrels filled the room. They towered above him and Eris, forming a maze through the cellar. Armand sniffed a barrel.

“They’re full of gunpowder. I knew this place used to be a powder store, but I didn’t expect it to be full,” he said.

“The Nosfer probably put these barrels here to hide his coffin. It might be covered by them,” Eris stated.

“Or hidden somewhere behind a few,” Armand speculated. “We don’t have the time to search all over this place. Your parents will figure out we’re missing pretty soon.”

“Why even bother searching? We can make a trail of gunpowder, ignite the trail with that pistol you’re concealing, and run for it. The fire of the explosion will kill the Nosfer,” she suggested.

“I’m not even surprised she figured out I was hiding a weapon,” he thought.

“Even if we get out of the way, it’ll destroy more than this building,” Armand pointed out.

“All the nobles should be in the castle still,” Eris said.

She realized what she just said and talked fast.

“Right, sorry, you want to keep commoners from dying,” she held her hands up in a placating gesture.

“We could just tell your parents about the gunpowder. If they find the Nosfer and figure out how to kill it, the plague might end sooner,” Armand said.

“Yes, but then I’d get in trouble with them. It would also limit our future movements. I never snuck out of the castle before, which is why they haven’t been keeping a strict eye on me,” Eris replied.

Armand’s brow furrowed as he thought.

“Eris, you’re really good at pretending to still be a normal little girl,” he said.

“Thank you.”

“What would a normal little girl do if she and her puppy love crush were kidnapped by a Nosfer and she managed to get away?”

“Go right to her parents with tears in her eyes,” Eris replied.

“I’m sure you know what to do. I’ll stay here. I have a plan,” Armand said.

Eris ran out of the building, tears streaming from her eyes. She ran through the front gate of her castle and right to her parents.

“Mother! Father!” she hugged her father’s legs.

“Eris? What’s wrong? Where’s Armand?” worry crossed his face.

“A…a big scary man took us! He was scary and…Armand saved me…I got away…but the man still has him!” Eris made choking noises.

“Knights! To me!” Count Hapsburg shouted. “Eris, did the man leave the city?”

“N…No…he’s in a building.”

“Eris, I need you to calm down and show us where he took you.”

Armand sat on the basement stairs, listening with intent. He held the pistol in his hand. The boy pointed the gun away from the barrels of gunpowder and into a patch of dirt that the shot would go right into rather than bounce off.

“It’s a good thing that Nosfer are next to impossible to wake up when they’re sleeping. They sleep like they’re dead. Well, I suppose they are,” Armand thought.

The sound of footsteps and voices came from above. Armand pulled the trigger.

With a loud bang! the gun fired its ball into the dirt below. Armand threw the gun away, screamed, and ran up the stairs. Several knights ran down with Count Hapsburg at their head. One of the knights grabbed Armand and pulled him back while the rest rushed into the basement.

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The knights searched the entire basement. They removed the gunpowder barrels from it and found a coffin tucked away in a corner. Inside was the Nosfer. Eris and Armand said he was the man who kidnapped them.

It took hours before the knights gave up waking up the Nosfer for questioning. They threw it in the dungeon. But then, the next morning…

“Dammit!” Count Hapsburg punched a wall. “Our prisoner was murdered!”

“Right in the dungeon?” his wife asked.

“Yes. Someone rammed a stake through his heart and cut his head off. Either someone decided to silence him, or one of my knights thought he deserved a death like that.”

Armand was listening to the conversation from around a corner.

“Eris knows this castle incredibly well. No one saw her kill the Nosfer,” he thought.

Count Hapsburg noticed him and marched over. His wife did the same. For a moment, Armand felt nervous. He felt sweat trickle down his brow. Then, Count Hapsburg knelt down and rubbed his hair. He gave Armand a wide smile. Countess Hapsburg picked the boy up in her arms and held him close. Tears leaked from her eyes.

“Thank you so much for saving our daughter!” she said.

“Eris must have said that I saved her from the Nosfer, as I expected. I don’t want her parents to think they owe me when they don’t, but I don’t know how they’d react to hearing the full truth. Thankfully, I planned for this,” Armand thought before speaking. “I didn’t save Eris. She saved herself. She saved me by bringing you there.”

“You’re very modest,” Countess Hapsburg stated.

“And trying to give Eris credit,” Count Hapsburg said. “You must feel a great puppy love for her already.”

He stood up.

“I was skeptical of marrying my daughter to a Concord for the longest time, but you saved her twice. My doubts are gone. I know that you’ll protect her no matter what,” he smiled.

“We never got to throw that feast we talked about before,” the countess said. “Your parents brought you here too quickly to prepare anything. Maybe we should start preparing now? Your birthday’s coming up too, isn’t it?”

“I don’t want a feast. There’s something else I want,” Armand stated.

“What is that?” Count Hapsburg asked.

“I got sick a lot since I was little. I’m weak because of it. I don’t want to get any of you sick, so can I have a private room for my stay here instead of sleeping in the grand hall?”

“Of course,” the count nodded. “I’ll find some room you can stay in. I’ll have my servants fix it up so it’s fit for a king.”

“Thank you!” Armand smiled.

“I can perform the third ritual in that room where I can guarantee some measure of privacy. I can also bring some chickens or other small livestock there. That way, I can drink their blood without risking getting caught,” he thought.

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A few hours later, Karl Hapsburg burst into the castle. He ran right over to Eris.

“I heard what happened. Are you okay? Were you hurt?” Karl asked.

“It was scary, but I’m fine. Armand kept me safe,” she answered.

“Ah, yes,” his face turned grim. “The Concord boy.”

“Armand’s really nice. I’m so happy that I get to be his wife,” Eris said.

“Something tells me that he won’t be easily convinced,” she thought.

“Eris, are you sure he isn’t just using you? I know that he saved your life, but he is a Concord. We cannot trust them,” Karl stated.

“We can trust Armand! He’s a good guy!” Eris assured her cousin.

“Just because he’s a good guy doesn’t mean he won’t be our enemy. As painful as it is, the forces of good fight each other almost as much as the forces of evil. Duty can cause even the kindest men to face each other in combat,” he said.

“Please don’t fight Armand,” she begged with puppy dog eyes.

“I’m not going to fight a child. If we were to fight, it’d be when he’s older. And as long as he doesn’t betray you, he has nothing to worry about.”

“That’s good. Even if you somehow escape the Orlock Plague, if you fight Armand when his body develops even slightly more, he’d cut you to pieces. Even if he was armed with a dagger and you had a spear,” Eris thought.

The two heard footsteps as Count Hapsburg, Countess Hapsburg, and Armand entered the room.

“Albert, is the castle safe?” Karl asked.

“Yes. We increased security,” Count Hapsburg answered.

Karl breathed a sigh of relief.

“Then I can rest easy on my trip to Bergschwarz,” he said.

“That’s one of the places the plague hit hardest. That explains why I never even heard of this Karl before,” Armand thought.

“Allow me to introduce you,” Count Hapsburg said. “Armand, this is Sir Karl Hapsburg. He’s my cousin and a fine knight. Karl, this is Lord Armand Concord.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Concord,” Karl smiled with his mouth but not his eyes.

“Karl doesn’t like me, but I might be able to get him to kill the Nosfer in Bergschwarz,” Armand thought.

“Please don’t go to Bergschwarz! There’s a scary monster there!” he begged.

“A monster?” Countess Hapsburg asked.

“People in my lands talk about a monster with pointed ears, a bald head, fangs…” Armand feigned panic.

The count and countess shared a look of dread. Karl interrupted the boy.

“There is no such monster,” Karl said.

Count Hapsburg spoke with a tinge of fear in his voice.

“We should take these rumors more seriously. The man who kidnapped Eris and Armand looked like that,” he stated.

“I see. Do these rumors say where the monster is?”

“Under an abandoned castle.”

“There’s only one castle like that in Bergschwarz. I’ll investigate this, Concord,” Karl said.

“Don’t go at night! Monsters like coming out at night!” Eris begged.

“I promise you, Eris, that I’ll go to the castle in the day,” he gave her a reassuring smile.

“Now, I just need to make sure he can actually kill the Nosfer. Fireworks, but it takes a while. The best method is a stake to the heart followed by decapitation,” Armand thought.

“People say that the monster doesn’t die like humans do. You have to stab it in the heart with a wooden stake and cut its head off,” the boy said.

“That’s how the man we captured was killed,” Countess Hapsburg noted.

“Well, if I have to kill him, I’ll try that. But I think that just cutting his head off should be fine,” Karl stated. “I should get going now. Don’t worry about your training, Eris. A friend of mine’s coming over to teach you while I’m away. His name is Sir Felix the Red. He was recently knighted, but I can assure you that he’s a fine warrior.”

Armand hid his shock.

“Sir Felix trained Eris? He always said he had a history with her, but I didn’t know it was this,” he thought.

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Soon after Karl left, Eris dragged Armand to the side. She waited until they were out of earshot of the grand hall to speak.

“Armand, you know how husbands are supposed to do things for their wives?” Eris asked.

“Don’t beat around the bush. Just tell me what you want,” Armand said.

“Sir Felix became an enemy of mine soon after I became the head of my house, but he was a close friend of yours. I’m sure he talked about me a lot,” she stated.

“He only did when we were plotting against you. And the most he said about your relationship was that you had a history.”

“Well, that’s a bruise to my ego,” Eris sighed.

“I always assumed that you seduced him to get him to do something, and then you threw him away,” Armand stated.

“I seduced a lot of people, but Sir Felix wasn’t one of them,” she said.

Then worry crossed her face.

“I never had sex with them! I died a virgin!” Eris assured her fiancé.

“I’ll believe that when a giant purple elephant with tiny bat wings flies through the sky and turns the grass blue,” Armand stated.

“Fuck. I should change the subject,” she thought.

“Never mind that. Armand, I need you to make sure Sir Felix stays on our side. He’s a good knight, and he could be very useful to us,” Eris said.

“That won’t be easy, considering what you’re like,” Armand replied. “But it isn’t impossible as long as you don’t do too much evil. I will do my best.”

“I know you don’t want to, but…” shock covered her face.

She gazed at Armand.

“You’ll do it just like that?” Eris asked.

“If we’re going to get married, I’m going to be a good husband to you. I’m not refusing this request from my wife,” Armand answered.

A wide smile crossed Eris’ face. Armand felt uneasy. She took a bow.

“Thank you, my dear fiancé. I’m happy to work with you,” Eris said.

“I can’t believe how happy I am. Armand did something for me! Even if he also benefits from it, I asked him to do this, and he wants to be a good husband! I never thought I’d be this happy about something Armand did,” she thought.

“Eris, don’t think that this means I’ll be subservient to you. I’m not letting you hurt innocent people,” Armand glared.

“Good. I still intend to do what I have to to get power, so long as it doesn’t involve betraying you. Now, let's have more fun manipulating each other,” Eris smiled.

“What kind of horrible relationship have I gotten myself into?” he thought.