I Only Love My Greatest Enemy

Eris was dressed in her finest gown, bedecked with jewelry. There was a wide smile on her face as she walked to the portcullis of her castle. Her parents were walking alongside her.

“You’re certainly excited,” Count Hapsburg said.

“I’m going to see Armand again!” Eris smiled.

“A month of plotting and scheming with my fiancé. I can’t wait to see what we can accomplish together. My greatest enemy will become my greatest ally,” she thought.

The portcullis lifted. A dozen horses stepped into the castle. On top of them were Count Concord, Countess Concord, Mortimer, Armand, and a group of knights.

“I see you’ve brought plenty of guards,” Count Hapsburg said.

“This is a very important visit,” Count Concord gave him a smug smirk. “After all, the future of our families is at stake here.”

“Yes. I hope this will bring an era of peace between us.”

“It’s good to see you all once again,” Eris gave the Concords her best curtsy.

“I’m happy to see you too,” Armand said.

“Time to throw a wrench in my parents’ matrilineal marriage plans,” he thought.

“Eris, I heard we’re getting married,” Armand stated.

He saw his father’s face fill with shock for just a moment.

“But if you take my name, that’ll be the end of your branch of the Hapsburgs.”

“I have a living cousin. He’s close enough that he counts as part of the branch,” Eris said.

“Armand’s father seemed surprised. Armand must be planning something, but what? Maybe he’s testing me or trying to lure his father into some trap or both?” she thought.

“Are you sure that’s okay?” Armand asked.

“Yes. I want to take the name of the man who saved me,” Eris answered.

“Children rarely know what they’re saying. The idea of the Hapsburg name dying, even in just one branch, must be unthinkable,” Count Concord said.

“There aren’t any other options if we’re going to have this marriage,” Count Hapsburg pointed out.

“Yes, there are. We can discuss them more in private.”

“Other options? The only other option is a matrilineal marriage. But his family will lose their name if his heir is married matrilineally. That means…” Eris held in a grimace. “He wants to disinherit Armand. There’s no way I’m giving up Armand’s estate.”

“Eris probably figured things out by now. It’s hard to believe that my parents are this bad at scheming. Well, they’re country nobles who’ve only been to the capital a few times. And they don’t know the truth about myself and Eris. We might be enemies, but at the moment, we have the same goal,” Armand thought.

“The problem is that matrilineal marriages are so rare that I shouldn’t even know about them yet. I need to stop them from discussing the marriage at all,” Eris contemplated.

“How long will you be staying?” she asked.

“We’ll only be here for a day, but Armand will stay for a month,” Countess Concord answered.

“Perfect.”

“I have some things to show you while you’re here! Come with me!” Eris made a cute face and grabbed Count Concord’s hand.

“We have to talk to your parents right now,” he said.

Tears welled up in Eris’ eyes.

“You don’t…want to see…” she sniffled.

“It’s fine, it’s fine. I can talk to them later. The marriage won’t happen for five years anyway,” guilt formed on Count Concord’s face.

“Even if father is ruthless, he still has some morals,” Armand thought.

“What a pathetic weakling, delaying his plans because a little girl cried,” Eris thought.

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Soon, Count Concord, Countess Concord, and Armand were in the Hapsburg grand hall. Eris opened a chest full of toys. Her parents stood nearby.

“I can’t believe I’m entertaining a Hapsburg child,” Count Concord muttered.

“She’s going to marry Armand, so we should at least have good relations with her,” his wife whispered back.

“Well, if it helps bring down this Hapsburg branch, I’ll put up with it,” he muttered.

Armand looked into the toy chest. It was filled with dolls that were in pristine condition. The dolls were carefully placed in rows so they wouldn’t bump into each other from normal carrying. Eris gently pulled out a beautiful doll.

“This is Princess Apple. She’s married to Sir Stumpy,” she said.

“That’s an unusual name,” Countess Concord noted.

“He’s called that because he lost his arms and legs protecting the princess. That just made her love him more,” Eris stated.

Count Concord felt like throwing up.

“So, she got a wizard to grow back his arms and legs,” the little girl continued.

“A stray dog got into her toys. We drove it off, but her favorite toy knight was mangled. We were going to throw it out, but Eris cried until we promised to get it fixed,” Count Hapsburg explained.

Armand looked into the toy chest again. Sure enough, there was a doll knight with stitched-on arms and legs.

Eris put her doll back and pulled out another.

“This is Countess Crumpet…”

She spent the rest of the day telling everyone about all of her toys. Count and Countess Concord looked like they wished they were dead.

“We…should…get going now,” Count Concord sighed.

“Yes, it’s getting late,” his wife nodded.

“We’ll have a servant escort you out,” Count Hapsburg said.

The Concords, save Armand, left. Then, the Count and Countess Hapsburg went to their solar. Armand and Eris scanned the room. It was empty.

“Your parents didn’t like my dolls very much,” Eris’ voice dripped with sarcasm.

“I’m surprised you even have dolls. And your parents said you cried when one of them was chewed up by a dog,” Armand said.

“I was a normal little girl once. I liked all the things other little girls liked,” she replied.

“What changed?”

“Power. When I became head of my house, I felt incredible. I had so much control over everyone and everything. I just had to have more,” Eris said.

Armand took a deep breath.

“Eris,” he spoke. “You’re being more honest with me than you ever have before. Why?”

“Because you’re my fiancé. We’re partners now,” Eris smiled.

“Armand still doesn’t trust me. Maybe now’s the time to earn it by bringing him into one of my schemes?”

“Speaking of which, I have a project for us,” she said.

“What sort of project?” Armand asked.

“I’m not going to like this, am I?”

“One of my family’s vassals is Viscount Salm. He’s going to die of old age, and I want to kill his son. Then, his family’s property will go to us,” Eris said.

“Is Viscount Salm disloyal?”

“No. He’d die protecting me.”

“Is his son disloyal?”

“He’s as loyal as his father is.”

Armand took another deep breath.

“Eris, I know that you don’t know the meaning of gratitude, but I do. You’ve been honest with me, so I’ll be honest with you back,” he said.

“Go on,” Eris nodded.

“I acknowledge you. I acknowledge you as a worthy opponent, and I always did,” Armand stated.

“That confirms that he respects me,” she thought.

“But you disgust me,” Armand said.

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I messed up! I can’t have Armand hate me! If he’s my enemy again, he’ll just get in my way! I know that Armand loves me, but he also cares about things like kindness. He must be deeply conflicted inside, and I'm pushing him towards the side that hates me!” sweat poured down Eris’ forehead.

“I can’t believe the gods allow someone like you to exist,” he stated.

“No, fuck, shit, no! I can’t let it end like this! This is my only chance to marry someone who loves me! They say love and hate are two sides of the same coin, so maybe I can flip it back to love?”

“If it really means that much to you, I won’t assassinate anyone who is loyal to me anymore,” she said.

“Will you send them on suicide missions?” Armand asked.

“No,” Eris answered.

“Provoke them into duels so you can have an excuse to kill them?”

“I won’t do that.”

“Let people attack you so that they die protecting you?” Armand questioned.

“I swear, on my honor…no, I don’t have that. I swear on my life that I will not intentionally kill someone who is loyal to me,” Eris said.

“I don’t believe that for a second, but I can at least keep Viscount Salm’s son safe. Eris will probably change her target now that she knows I have my eye on him,” he thought.

“I’ll accept that for now,” Armand stated.

Eris breathed a sigh of relief.

“I just dodged a bullet. We’ve been enemies for a long time, so I don’t blame Armand for not trusting me. And I should have expected that he wouldn’t want me to kill someone loyal to me just to take his land. Armand’s probably questioning every single thing I say and do,” she thought.

The girl remembered the poison she had gotten for Armand.

“If I gave Armand the poison now, he’d think that I was pulling some trick. He’d also think that I have an antidote to it, so he won’t try to poison me. Armand will trust me less in the short term if I give him the poison. But he’ll trust me more in the long term. That assumes we get to the long term,” Eris contemplated.

“I think it’s safe to say that Eris doesn’t want to kill me. She wouldn’t reveal so much if she did, even if she wanted to wait until we had a child. But then what does she really want? She knows that I hate everything she stands for. Then, why would she tell me about her plans,” Armand thought.

“Maybe if I ease him into the poison?” Eris made up her mind. “Armand, did Mortimer kill your siblings?”

“You really do hate me, don’t you?” he said.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” she assured him.

“If you must know, yes, Mortimer killed my siblings. I thought you’d figured that out, but I didn’t expect you to just outright ask me. Even when I’m your fiancé, you still try to piss me off, always bringing up bad memories,” Armand stated.

“I wasn’t trying to anger you,” Eris held up her hands.

“Then why did you bring up the sole light in your letter?” he asked.

Eris felt something she hadn’t felt since the first time she was a little girl: guilt.

“Oh, oh fuck. I was trying to honor Armand, but I hurt him. Dammit! Why is making my former worst enemy like me so hard? Calm down, Eris, you can do this. You still have a card to play.”

“If you’d like, we can kill Mortimer together,” Eris smiled.

She reached into her skirt and pulled out a vial.

“This is my favorite poison. Just one drop of this, and it’ll look like Mortimer died of the flux. You can just sit back, relax, and watch his slow, painful death. We can even think of a way to poison him together. Doesn’t that sound like a fun couples activity?” Eris said.

Armand’s eyes widened in shock. A mixture of disgust, hatred, and confusion slowly replaced his surprise.

“By the gods, I’ve figured it out. All this time, I thought Eris hated me, but she really loved me! She’s trying to use this second chance at life to be in the relationship she always wanted. No, wait, that can’t be the case. Eris always plotted against me. She killed so many innocent people just to piss me off. But some girls act harsh when they like a guy so people won’t find out they like him. For a monster like Eris…” he thought.

The boy internally punched himself. He forced himself to calm down, to think rationally. Armand's disgust and hatred subsided. His confusion went next. It was replaced with cold, calculating logic combined with a deep melancholy.

“Thank you for the poison,” Armand said. “But I won’t take it.”

“This could still be a trap. Eris might want to poison someone and pin the blame on me. I just can’t take the risk. But this marriage is a great opportunity. If I’m right and Eris loves me, I could use that to keep her from killing any more innocents. I could save so many lives, and all it would cost is my happiness.”

He suppressed a sad smile.

“All it’ll cost is something I don’t have.”

Eris noticed the melancholy. A sense of confusion flowed through her, but she replaced it with her own cold logic.

“Armand’s sad, but he’s trying to hide it. It looks like revenge won’t cheer him up. He’s a strange man, but wives are supposed to make their husbands happy, right?” Eris thought.

“Armand, is there anything you want to do?” she asked.

“Yes, there is. It’ll be something that benefits you too, so I can trust you with this,” Armand answered. “I hope.”

“I’m the one who should be cheering him up, but Armand’s still trying to be a good fiancé to me. I can still salvage this evening,” Eris smiled. “Very well, Armand. Tell me what you want to do.”

“You must know that the first disaster will hit your lands too. I want to stop it. Though, I’m sure you already plan on that,” he said.

“Oh, I see. I didn’t have any plans to stop it myself,” she stated.

“A lot of people who pay your family taxes will die in that plague,” Armand replied.

“Yes, stopping the plague would benefit me, but I didn’t think it was worth the effort it would take to stop,” Eris said.

“The church with the Nosfer isn’t even a block away from your castle.”

“I know. But why should I go that far to save some peasants, even if they give me tax money?”

“I could never love an evil bitch like her, but I could at least pretend. I can’t just start being all lovey-dovey, she’ll get suspicious. I’ll have to build up my pretence that my affection’s building up over time,” Armand thought before speaking. “I can’t believe you hate commoners that much.”

“I don’t hate them, but would you go out of your way to save some flies?” Eris asked.

Armand swung his hand at her, stopping an inch away from her face. He pulled his hand back.

“Dammit. There’s no way I’ll even be able to pretend to love her. I’ve been far too honest with this bitch,” he thought.

“I apologize for that. I almost struck you, and a man should never hit his wife or fiancé,” Armand said.

“Why not?” Eris wondered.

“Do you want me to hit you?”

“No, I don’t. But I don’t understand why it’s wrong. I mean, if it can control someone, what’s the problem?”

“I see. The only thing you care about is power, even now,” Armand narrowed his eyes.

“No, no, no, I’ve almost lost him! I need to act, fast,” Eris thought.

“I care about things other than that! I care about my parents and about you, Armand,” she said.

“Prove it. Say one thing you like about me,” he replied.

“You remember that time when you were going to give a gift to the queen for her birthday, but I stole it and gave it to her instead? Then, you didn’t have anything to give her and had to rush for the first present you could get?”

“I do. That was one of the few times where we were supposed to be on the same side, and you stabbed me in the back,” Armand said.

“Well, I remember your reaction to it. You didn’t show how mad you were or anything. You smiled, said I was a clever girl, and left to get your present,” Eris stated.

“What am I even saying? This is a horrible thing to bring up,” she thought.

“You were so composed. It really pissed me off at the time, but looking back on it, you were a worthy opponent,” Eris continued. “There’s no way you’d break under pressure. I’ll be able to rely on you, no matter how tough things get."

“That runs in the family, but it’s quite amazing how every word you say just pisses me off more,” Armand said.

“Oh, I have a great idea for a couples game. Couples do things that they like together, and we loved pissing each other off!” Eris smiled.

“What are you so happy about?” he asked.

“Armand, do your best to piss me off. Bring up one of the times you humiliated me,” she answered.

“I shouldn’t, but she’s pissed me off so much today! Dammit! Why am I letting my guard down? Is her honesty getting to me? Well, there’s no way Eris would ask me to piss her off if she didn’t love me. I can’t pretend to love her, but I’ll at least be able to use this to my advantage,” Armand thought before speaking. “You remember that time when you fired 10 arquebuses and five pistols at me and they all misfired?”

“That was embarrassing,” Eris said.

“That was my doing. I found out you were stockpiling guns and had one of my agents use magic to wet your gunpowder,” he replied.

“You…humiliate me…you…” Eris took a deep breath. “You pissed me off just now, just like I asked you to.”

“She took that better than expected,” he thought.

“Dammit! I feel bad again. Armand stopped himself from hitting me when I royally pissed him off. Making me mad must have been painful for him. Why do I keep messing this up?” she thought.

“Eris only cares about power, but she’s somehow come to love me. Maybe I can use this against her somehow, get her to at least stay out of my way?” Armand pondered before speaking. “Honestly, even now, you’re constantly getting in my way without even trying to. You’re still my greatest enemy.”

“Oh, fuck! Fuck! He still hates me! I don’t love Armand yet,” or so Eris told herself, “But maybe if I say I do, he’ll come around?”

“And I only love you, my greatest enemy,” she said.

“Well, that didn’t go as expected,” Armand contemplated.

“Let’s do a couples activity tomorrow. We can kill that Nosfer,” Eris suggested.

“And let’s find some way to kill Nosfer in other cities,” he said.

“That sounds like the perfect couples activity,” she smiled.

“I was hoping that we’d just kill the Nosfer in my family’s lands. Then, the other houses would suffer from the plague while mine wouldn’t. But Armand’s so soft-hearted that I messed things up with him already. I can’t let this opportunity go to waste.”