I hate being wed in a fantasy world!

Chapter 4 – The preparation went weird

Almost a year ago.

I look down at the meat on my plate. The plate that I earned many years ago during a raid. The meat was probably hunted, but maybe it was also just taken from a farmstead. It's horse-meat, so maybe the mount of a messenger?

Why do I care?

It's not cut into small pieces. Despite my age, I still insist on tearing off the flesh with my teeth, as this promises the juiciest experience, though some may run down my beard. I used to like it, but for now I don't even touch the meat, just staring at it like it's trying to hypnotize me.

I hear my grandchild asking my child—that one is called Jörk, but what is the grandchild's name?—“Why isn't grandpa eating anything? Is he too old?”

Jörk takes a quick glance at me, probably fearing my reaction, but comes to the conclusion that I haven't heard it, while softly chiding his brat not to call me old.

Well, it may be true. I finally may be old.

Is it that? Do I ask for the sweet embrace of death? ...nah, while I wouldn't mind it, I also have no desire for that yet.

The unease in my heart is still growing though. I wish I could ask Kalle for his insight, but he died thirteen years ago by an arrow in his eyeball. I avenged his death, the archer wasn't too shabby, but he certainly was too confident about his range.

...I even start to lament about the old days like old people.

No, thinking it over on my own doesn't help at all. I need someone to talk to, and I'm surrounded by family. It's their duty to listen to the stories of their elders and help them in any way possible.

As Jörk's brat has insulted me, let's take it out on them. I stand up, take my bowl, and go to their fire. “Mind if I sit here?” Jörk, a daughter of mine, their mates, and their children are all there, so with me it makes ten people.

“Erm... sure, dad.” He seems kinda stressed. Or rather, in fear. Maybe he remembers too well what happened with Hass before. “How was your day?”

“Boring.” This single word causes warning bells to ring around the campfire as it earns wry smiles and shocked expressions.

Why are they so alarmed? It's not like I'll tear down the camp because I'm bored. Even in my younger days, I would just run through the land, causing problems for others instead of my clan.

Like that one time when I redirected that river into a forest to see if the trees could take in all the water or if it’d become a swamp instead... thinking of it, I never returned there. Also, there are plenty of rivers that flow through forest areas so...

Wait, I'm insinde my thoughts again! “Jörk, how was your day?”

“Not that exciting either, really.” He's probably lying. Why does he lie? “I was just down the river with Pitt there.” He puts his hand on my grandson. “Teaching him how to catch fish.”

Come to think of it, did I teach Jörk how to fish? Also, why do I have a grandson called 'Pitt', that's a horrible name and no descendant of mine should be called that as long as I live. Why didn't he consult me on how to name his brat!?

I look at the faces around me, realizing that I know almost none by name. Despite being familiar, despite being family, they're barely better than strangers.

In that same moment I also notice that I'm a stranger to them.

―○●○―

“Tehehe...” I walk arm in arm with Rine, who is understandably glad that she didn't kill an innocent lumberjack by accident.

However, I have an entirely other bone to pick: “Ara-san, your tier list is trash!”

“What!?” She's offended by it, but I don't care: “What do you mean!?”

“I'm tier 2, right? I still held my own against four barbarians who are supposed to be tier 2 as well!” Even killing three of them: “You even killed one yourself and you're tier 1 by your own estimation!”

“Ken-kun, before I will defend myself, I need to inquire something to make my case. As I'm bad at guessing human ages, I need to inquire: How old were they?”

“Three of them around my age, the last one... maybe fourty or fifty?” I'm also bad at guessing the ages of western people.

“My tier list uses adult people, and even I know that you're still not an adult, Ken-kun.”

…

… … …

That makes sense! I totally forgot that it's kind of sick and wrong that people my age fight like that. Though... looking at my girlfriend, who is biologically a year younger than me... “Is something wrong, Dear?”

“Just surmising how much of a freak you are.”

“What!?” She clamps down my arm, which hurts a bit, but given how much physical pain she usually gives, that's barely an issue: “What do you mean!?”

“Rine, you're unbelievably strong, and I can only guess how many other people your age can even be compared to you.”

“Is that a praise?”

I scratch my head, as I need a second to think about it: “Phew... yes, it is.”

With a beaming smile, she quickly presses her lips on my cheek, which makes my face understandably hot.

Ara-san asks us in a tone that tells me that she'd roll her eyes if she were human: “Do you need a moment for sex? I can wait.”

Rine answers quickly: “Ah, not yet. First, we need to tell the people on the farm that we got the barbarians and check on Obert.” ...OK, does that mean that if it weren't for that, she'd be totally fine with it!?

It seems that Rine is rather open to it, and I don't know how to answer that. I mean, it's not like I don't like the thought, but I'm still getting used to being in a relationship at all!

I need to speak with her about it later, I guess.

“Phew...”

“Something wrong, Dear? Bothered about the killing?”

Well, I added some more kills to my count, that's true, and it still doesn't feel great, but it's much easier to kill bandits and murderers than people who actually protect something. “Not really. Just a bit surprised myself how easy it was this time.” I guess, as my girlfriend, she has a right to know one or two things. I'm also sure that her kill-count is much higher. “What about you, Ara-san?” This may be the first time she has killed people. It's not like this is a topic we would talk about casually.

“I'm just surprised that she didn't use any [Skills].”

“I noticed. Only Stale could use some.”

Rine lifts her hand, telling us that she wants to say something: “That's something I recently learned... the few people learning [Skills] do so when they're fully grown.” She talks about a conversation Gottfried had with the rest of his group, about how skills basically destroy a growing body, and only heroes are the exception, which would explain why Rine only learned skills when she became a hero.

I guess that skills in general are something people usually don't talk about, which makes kinda sense? I mean, there is magic, so any skill would be thought of as a spell by any amateur. Those who know, don't have a reason to tell outside their peers.

Hm... maybe they also don't want to spread around the knowledge of skills that much? I mean, this is a fantasy world and it doesn't have the internet. Keeping things secret is much easier, and if stuff comes out, it may become distorted and unrecognizable.

So why didn't Rine know about it? Maybe some sort of strange courtesy to tell only adults about it? Or maybe because she's so talented, that she would have been able to figure out how to use skills on her own if she knew about them?

Well, maybe people know about skills and it's just that I—who happens to not converse much with others—never had reason to learn about it. Therefore I just did the natural thing as an ignorant loner and just assumed that if nobody talks about it, they don't know.

I mean, most people in the modern world do know roughly how electricity works. Try to include that naturally in a conversation!

“Only one question!” I turn to Ara-san: “Why doesn't the supposed 'hero-sage' know how skills work with non-heroes, despite being an important hero-mechanic?”

“You already answered your question yourself, Ken-kun. Why should the hero-sage bother with non-heroes in the first place?”

“I already said, it's about an important hero-mechanic! Do your homework!”

“Ken-kun!” Ara-san gasps in shock: “Do you imply that I don't fulfill my duties to your full satisfaction?”

“...” I really have a bad feeling about it. “There is room to improve.”

“I see. So would you be satisfied if I waited for you in bed every evening with a wet crotch instead, so I can be the best sex toy of yours possible?” I KNEW IT!

“Phew...”

“Hmpf!” Rine clings harder to my arm: “Ara, you shouldn't say something like that. Is that a joke of yours?”

“Yes, it is,” the white-haired girl answered without a pause.

“I start to think that you actually want to get closer to Dear than you already are.”

“When I'm desperate enough, I may consider it.”

...alright, this is getting into areas I really don't want to explore! “Could we get back to topic?”

“Sure.” Don't talk like you're giving me permission!

“Phew... OK, so the reason why these suckers were relatively pathetic was their age, and we have to go with Stale—the old one—as a proper barbarian... Phew... maybe we should have captured one, so that we could ask some questions.” Hindsight is always 20/20.

“I agree, though I also can't fault you for having other priorities at the time,” Ara-san excuses my action, though she did one in herself.

“I think it was a scouting party,” Rine chimes in, “I learned that barbarians like to train their youths with scouting missions.”

I sometimes forget that Rine actually went through royal education, including militaristic training: “So now that they're dead, what can we expect?”

“Hm...” She cocks her head for two seconds: “I can only guess.”

“Go ahead.”

“Depending on the scouting range, it will take one or a few days for the main force to learn that their scouts didn't return. They will either send an elite scout party to investigate or a small battle group, including one or more skilled scouts.” Makes sense.

“Let's ask Jii-san,” I decide. “He may know more.”

As we return to the farmstead, there are already several people in the courtyard that connects the most important buildings, all armed with their tools. There is Turd, clinging to his mother while the matriarch tries to ask him some questions.

“HEY!” A random guy sees us and starts waving at us: “THEY'RE BACK!”

““““““Woooooohooooo!”””””” What is that? A howl? A cheer? Please not a cheer. Shit, they really look like they're happy to see us, which isn't exactly a situation I'm used to. That's awkward.

“Come, Dear!” Rine heads to the crowd and drags me with her. Literally.

There's no way that I will get close to these superficial friendly people, who don't even understand the shit I could have gone through if those teens didn't suck so hard.

“Ranger! Ranger! Ranger!” Is it worse being called out by name or by [Class]? I have no idea, but I really hate it.

I plant my feet on the ground, trying my best to resist Rine's efforts to get me there. I mean, in pure physical terms I might be stronger than her, so unless she hits me, twists my limbs, or does something aside from straightforward dragging, I must persevere! “Moh!” For starters, she tries it with more strength, the moment of truth.

Then Ara-san gives me a push. Literally. I put my foot forward to avoid a fall, but now Rine effortlessly forces me with her, as I can't take a firm stance anymore.

“Fuck you, Ara-san!”

“Joke's on you: I already masturbated today.” Too much info!

“Would you mind your language in front of other people?” Kyou-san appeared out of nowhere and now gives us a look as if we're watching porn on our smartphone with speakers in public.

Well, even the crowd looks at us as if they wished they hadn't heard that exchange. Not that I really care, in fact, I prefer that more than any cheers.

Boss-woman comes forward, puts the back of her right hand on the palm of her left and lowers her head: “We're thankful for you saving Obert, Ranger-dono.” The other adults follow her example: “Thank you, Ranger-dono!” That's awkward.

Then a man comes forward, lifting his hand as if he wants to slap my shoulder or back. I push my hood a bit backwards, so he can properly see my death glare: “Come one step closer, and I rip your throat out!”

He freezes, hand still up. I get stares from everyone around me. That's awkward.

Well, Kyou-san is here to smooth the waters: “I have to apologize for Ken's behavior. He's not used to crowds, so please respect his personal space. OK?” She winks, using her [Persuasion] to give a round of mind-fuck all around, the awkwardness melts away like my outburst was nothing but a lovable quirk of mine.

These farmers are nothing but prey for heroes!

Kyou-san keeps being in charge: “Kenza-san? Could you show us a room where you and I can hear from Ken the details? Of course, you can take Benjam-san, and Jahn-san with you, I just think a smaller circle would make it easier.”

I don't mind it though. Let's leave these people-things to someone who actually cares.