I Got Reincarnated in Danmachi But Got No Cheats?!

Chapter 51 - The Goddes Who Chose Me

The sound of the iron door slamming shut echoed through the corridor like a hammer hitting a coffin.

That sound kept repeating in my head, mixing with the fading echoes of Hashana and Goddess Hestia's footsteps as they walked away.

Until finally, only silence remained.

Because I was left alone.

I sat on the cold cell bench, staring at the traces of tears still wet on the stone floor.

Small puddles that had already started drying at the edges, but were still clear in the center.

Traces belonging to Goddess Hestia.

Traces from someone who had just cried... for me.

For trash like me.

I laughed.

Quietly at first, like a whisper.

"Heh... hehehe..."

Then louder.

My voice echoed off the stone walls, bouncing back and forth like a ball being hit endlessly.

"Hahaha... hahahaha... HAHAHAHA!"

Tears turned to laughter.

"Hahaha... hah..." The laughter caught in my throat, turning into painful sobs.

Hot tears flowed, but my mouth still tried to laugh.

"Look... look at yourself..." I whispered to the emptiness.

"Pathetic."

"Look how... God... How pathetic you are."

I stared at my shackled hands.

My wrists were full of bloody scrapes because for the past two days they'd been constantly moving with these iron shackles that were too heavy for my weak body.

The skin had already peeled away, leaving raw red flesh that stung every time the shackles rubbed against it.

"A goddess who's been so good to me... crying..." I continued, my voice wavering between laughter and sobs.

"Crying... for who? For some loser like me?"

I lifted my face to the dark ceiling of the cell, tears streaming down my already swollen cheeks.

"She... cried... for trash like me?"

That thought triggered a new wave of laughter, louder, more insane.

"HAHAHA... LOSER!" I screamed, my voice echoing back at me.

The laughter got louder, until my throat hurt.

Until my chest felt tight like it was being stabbed over and over.

"You're a loser! A LOSER!" I yelled at myself.

"LOSER! WEAK! USELESS! Stupid!"

I kept screaming at myself, cruel words pouring out like vomit.

All the hatred I'd bottled up toward myself, all the guilt that had piled up—it all came out at once.

"You can't even protect your own goddess's reputation! Just a burden! Just a disgrace!"

My voice was getting hoarse, but I didn't stop.

"Level 1... can't do anything... just... making her... ashamed..." My voice was raspy, gone.

Every word felt like broken glass.

I hit my own head with my shackled hands.

The shackles clanged loudly every time they hit my head.

"Stupid! Stupid! STUPID!"

Each hit made my head throb with pain, but the physical pain was nothing compared to the pain in my chest.

It hurt so much.

"You're so stupid! You're so easily fooled! And now look at the consequences! Goddess Hestia has to bear the shame!"

I kept hitting my head until my vision went black.

Blood dripped from my already swollen nose.

"You should just die, Kaen! You'd rather die than keep being a burden!"

But right when the word "die" came out of my mouth, it immediately disappeared as if erased from my memory.

Suddenly Goddess Hestia's voice echoed in my head.

"DO YOU THINK YOUR DEATH WOULD BE A BLESSING TO ME?!"

My hand stopped in mid-air.

The laughter slowly faded.

"KAEN-KUN... DO YOU THINK I'D BE RELIEVED IF YOU DIED?!"

Her voice was trembling, full of emotion, full of... pain.

Pain that I had caused.

"Do you think I could sleep peacefully... knowing my only child died alone?"

My chest felt tight.

But not from guilt this time.

There was something different there.

"I'm the one who chose you, Kaen! Out of everyone... I'M THE ONE WHO CHOSE YOU MYSELF!"

Those words were like a slap.

But a slap full of love, like the one she gave me earlier.

"She... chose me," I whispered softly.

I closed my eyes, letting her voice fill my head.

An angry voice, but angry because of love.

Angry because she cared.

"I'm the one who chose you, Kaen!"

"Chose me..." I repeated, my voice shaking.

Out of everyone in this world.

Out of all the adventurers who were stronger, more handsome, more useful... she chose me.

Actually, I never expected Goddess Hestia to say something like that—after all, we haven't even known each other for a month.

Seems like I'm the only one who doubted this relationship.

Goddess Hestia's words kept appearing in my head.

"So hang in there... Don't give up. Don't let them destroy you more than this."

Tears were still flowing, but now they felt different.

Not bitter anymore.

There was warmth in them.

"Because I'm going to come get you, and when that happens, I want to see my strong child, not an empty shell like right now."

"Her child..." I whispered, my voice barely audible.

She called me her child.

Not a burden.

Not a disgrace.

But her child.

A child she was proud of.

I opened my eyes, staring at the puddle of tears on the floor that had almost dried up.

"Kaen, you're really stupid," I muttered, but this time not with hatred.

"How could you not trust such a good goddess?"

You really are a loser.

A goddess who gave me a home when I had nothing.

Who cooked for me every day even though we were poor.

Who hugged me warmly every night before bed.

Who smiled happily every time I came home from the dungeon.

"She never once complained," I continued, my voice getting steadier.

"Never regretted choosing me. Even when I caused big problems like this..."

Even though gods can sense lies, Goddess Hestia never doubted me.

Whether everything I did was right or not.

I remembered her tears flowing heavily.

The way she clutched my dirty shirt, as if afraid I would disappear.

"She even came to save me."

I leaned my head against the cold stone wall.

But this time it didn't feel torturous.

Actually calming.

I felt very calm.

"Hang in there, huh?" I whispered to the wall.

"Alright, Goddess. If you say so... I'll hang in there."

Something started glowing in my chest.

Not anger or hatred.

But something warm.

Determination, maybe.

Was that hope?

"I can't give up," I said louder.

"Can't make her cry again."

I stared at the shackles on my hands.

What had felt like painful chains before now just felt like ordinary metal.

Temporary.

Not permanent.

"She said she'd get me out. And I believe her."

For the first time in two days, I smiled.

A small smile, but genuine.

"Wait for me, Goddess. I'll get out of here. Alive. And I'll prove that you weren't wrong to choose me. And Freya, don't blame me for being cruel."

I used to not have such high goals—living stably and comfortably was enough.

Not anymore. Now I want to become strong, so strong that I'll never fall into a situation like this again.

Become strong so my life can be stable.

I laughed at my old self for wanting a peaceful and comfortable life.

Without knowing that to get that, you need the strength to protect it.

While thinking like that, I stared at the ceiling with an empty gaze.

Waiting for Hashana to return and take me back to the detention cell.

Not long after.

The door opened with the sound of screeching metal that was deafening.

Hashana appeared, standing straight at the doorway.

The light from the corridor made him look like a giant shadow.

"Time to go back to the general detention cell," he said in a flat voice.

I looked at him calmly and started to stand up.

"Walk," Hashana ordered coldly, already turning his back.

I followed him slowly.

Hashana's footsteps echoed in the narrow corridor, creating a monotonous rhythm.

As we approached the cell block, Hashana's steps suddenly slowed.

I heard him take a deep breath—a sound that sounded strange through his mask.

"You are very loved by your goddess."

His voice broke the silence like a knife cutting cloth.

Low, with a tone I couldn't identify.

Not angry, not pitying... maybe... envious?

I didn't turn around.

Kept walking even though my feet felt like lead.

"I saw it with my own eyes," he continued, his voice getting quieter.

"A goddess... a real goddess... crying for someone like you..."

He paused for a moment.

I could hear his heavy sigh.

"And you're still thinking about another girl? You should be grateful, kid. You should kneel and thank fate for giving you a goddess like that."

I didn't answer.

Too tired to explain that he was wrong.

That there was no "other girl" I was dreaming of.

That all this was a big misunderstanding that even I didn't fully understand.

The cell door opened with the sound of metal resembling a wounded animal's cry.

Hashana pushed me in—not roughly, but not gently either.

Like handling goods that needed to be moved.

"Hold on," he said before closing the door.

His voice changed again, this time there was something warm in it.

"Your goddess will come for you. I'm sure of it."

The sound of the key turning echoed in the narrow cell, and I was alone again.

Well, not completely alone.

The general detention cell was much bigger than the interrogation cell from earlier. A square room with the same stone walls, but more spacious. Could fit about ten people.

On one side of the cell, a burly man with a back full of scars was doing push-ups with a steady rhythm.

"One hundred seventy-three... One hundred seventy-four... One hundred seventy-five..."

Like a machine that never got tired.

He was just a regular human but could do something like that—definitely not normal.

His sweat dripped onto the stone floor, creating small dark patterns.

What was weird, he was also humming cheerfully—a song I didn't recognize, but the melody was cheerful and didn't fit the prison atmosphere—while occasionally flipping pages of a book that was open on the floor.

A thick book with a worn cover, its pages yellowing.

I'd gotten used to his behavior over the past two days.

But still, seeing someone do push-ups while reading a book and humming at the same time...

that wasn't normal.

Even by the standards of this fantasy world.

Ignoring that weird guy.

I walked unsteadily to the corner I usually used as my spot—the farthest corner from the door, where wall met wall, giving the illusion of protection.

The stones in the wall felt rough and cold against my back as I slumped down.

The texture reminded me of rough sandpaper, but somehow that sensation was calming.

Maybe because it felt real, different from the nightmare that had become my life lately.

Thinking like that, my eyes stared blankly at the burly man still doing push-ups.

"One hundred eighty-one... One hundred eighty-two..."

The sound of his counting was monotonous, but somehow calming.

Like the steady tick of a clock.

While staring at that burly man with an empty gaze, my mind had already drifted far away, to the past.

Suddenly, the memory of my first day in this prison appeared clearly.

A memory that was embarrassing to remember.

•••

Two days ago.

The shame and despair were so great back then.

I was still sure this was all a misunderstanding that could be resolved if I talked to the right person.

Still believed that justice would win if delivered to the right ears.

"Captain Hashana," I called when he escorted me to the cell for the first time.

My voice was still shaking, but there was hope in it.

"Could I meet God Ganesha?"

He stopped, his elephant mask facing me.

His eyes visible from behind the mask—eyes that had seen too much evil.

"What for?" he asked, his voice flat and slightly impatient.

"I... I'm sure this is a misunderstanding. God Ganesha is known to be fair, right? He'll definitely listen to my explanation. He must know that I couldn't possibly—"

"Ganesha-sama isn't at the familia," Hashana cut me off indifferently.

"He has important business. Very important. A big investment from the Guild for a project that will change Orario. God Ganesha won't be back anytime soon."

Hearing that, my last hope was extinguished instantly.

Like a candle blown out by strong wind.

I didn't know if what Hashana said was true or not about God Ganesha not being at his familia.

"But—"

"No buts," Hashana said.

"You'll wait for the legal process like all other prisoners."

The cell door closed with a loud sound.

I was just ignored like that.

The beating I received and the accusations I faced made me feel very devastated.

I realized

No one would save me.

No one would listen to me.

Even my own goddess—how could she fight the entire system?

How could a small goddess from a small familia challenge a power as big as Freya Familia?

With my mind in chaos at the time, I decided to end it all.

I got up from the corner where I was curled up like a wounded animal.

My body was shaking not from cold, but from fear and determination mixed together.

I stared at the hard stone wall.

Rough granite, with an uneven texture.

Just one hard impact.

Just one.

Everything would end.

Goddess Hestia wouldn't have to bear the shame of having a familia member who was a criminal anymore.

I stepped back a few paces, measuring the distance.

My breathing was short, my heart was beating so hard I could hear it in my own ears.

"Forgive me, Goddess," I whispered.

"This is for the best."

After deciding, I ran.

Ran as hard as I could toward that stone wall.

Like a bull about to ram into a wall.

I intended to slam my head with full force, hoping the impact would be enough to end everything quickly.

But something strange happened.

Just a few centimeters before my head hit the wall—when I could already feel the coldness of the stone on my skin—my entire body suddenly became stiff.

Uncontrollable.

Like a statue frozen in the air.

My muscles hardened, my joints locked, even my breathing stopped for a moment.

My body was strongly rejecting my brain's command to keep going.

"What—" I said in a muffled voice, still in the weird position of body leaning forward, feet still in running position, but not moving a single millimeter.

I was so scared I felt like time had frozen.

A few seconds later, my body relaxed. I fell backward, gasping for breath.

I felt something was wrong.

In disbelief, I tried again.

Same result.

And again.

And again.

Every time, right before my head or any other part of my body touched the wall with force that could kill me, my body would freeze.

Like there was an invisible force preventing me.

That's when I realized it.

My skill. [Survival Instinct].

True to its name, the skill prevented me from dying.

Even by my own hand.

Like having an automatic safety system that couldn't be turned off.

All dark thoughts about suicide suddenly disappeared, as if cleaned by that skill.

Like fog swept away by wind.

What remained was just emptiness—not despair anymore, but strange emptiness.

My mind immediately cleared—all ideas of suicide vanished as if they never existed.

I sat on the cold floor, staring at my own hands with wonder and disgust.

I realized how pathetic I was.

I couldn't even kill myself!

That's how for the past 2 days I tried to kill myself.

But it always ended in failure.

Back to the present.

Thanks to that skill, I no longer wanted to die.

But I also didn't know what to do.

Like floating in limbo, waiting for whatever would happen.

But now, after hearing Goddess Hestia's words, after seeing her pure love...

I had a reason to hold on again.

Suddenly...

a crazy idea came up.

Not a dark idea like before, but something born from curiosity that was almost scientific.

If this skill stopped me from suicide, would it also activate if someone else tried to kill me?

Were there hidden features I didn't know about yet?

What were the limits of its abilities?

As an adventurer, I knew how important it was to understand the tools I possessed.

And this skill was clearly an important tool—maybe the most important one for me.

And coincidentally, I had someone who could help with this experiment.