I Got Reincarnated in Danmachi But Got No Cheats?!

Chapter 50 - Pitiful Kaen (POV Hestia)

Two days.

Two days since Kaen-kun was arrested, and I feel like I'm completely lost.

I can't sleep properly, can't eat properly.

Right now I'm walking down the hallway of Ganesha Familia's headquarters, and it feels impossibly long today.

Every step I take echoes with this weird sound... like an irregular heartbeat, or maybe that's just my own heart pounding in my ears.

The air in this hallway hits my nose with the smell of iron, dampness, and God knows what else that makes me feel kinda sick.

My footsteps drag my thoughts back to yesterday.

After meeting with Hephaestus, the only thing on my mind was Kaen.

I felt so restless. Every second felt like I was wasting precious time.

But my friend suggested I rest for a day.

"Hestia, you should rest first. Your appearance is really pitiful... you don't look like a goddess at all, more like a little kid who's been rolling around in the mud," she said while massaging the bridge of her nose, that gesture she does when facing big problems.

"And it'd be even worse if you met Kaen in an emotionally unstable state."

Now I get it.

My stomach won't stop churning, like it's being stabbed from the inside.

My hands are cold and sweaty, and I have to clench them tight so they don't look like they're shaking.

There's this nausea that keeps rising and falling in my throat, and I have to keep swallowing to hold it back.

I don't know why I'm like this.

Is it because I'm too anxious?

Honestly, I'm worried about Kaen. No, I'm really worried.

What if...

what if he's not my Kaen-kun anymore?

After all, when someone becomes a public target, their mental state can be shattered so easily.

I'm holding back this worry inside me.

In front of me, Hashana walks ahead with heavy, rhythmic steps.

His half-elephant mask makes him look like a temple guardian.

Sometimes he glances back at me, and I see something in his eyes. Not just discomfort at dealing with a goddess whose familia member got arrested for a case like this.

There's something else.

Pity, maybe.

Or maybe... guilt?

"You have ten minutes, Goddess Hestia," he finally says, his voice deep and echoing in the narrow corridor.

"And I have to be in the room during the meeting. Standard rules for cases..."

He pauses for a moment, and I see his jaw tighten.

"...like this."

I nod because I don't trust myself to make a sound.

My throat feels like it's filled with coarse sand.

Every time I try to swallow, it's like swallowing glass shards.

I'm so thirsty.

We stop in front of a heavy iron door. Hashana pulls out a large key from his leather belt, the movement slow, almost reluctant.

As he inserts the key into the lock and turns it, the metallic click sounds like a gunshot in my ears.

The door opens with a soft creak.

And my mind goes blank for a moment.

The room is so small.

Gray stone walls with no decorations, lit by a single magic crystal lamp hanging weakly from the ceiling, casting pale white light that makes everything look like a nightmare.

There's just a metal table and two wooden chairs.

In one of those chairs sits someone who... who I think I used to know.

Kaen.

But this isn't my Kaen.

He's sitting hunched over with sagging shoulders, head hanging so low that his disheveled hair covers his face. His hands are shackled on the table, shackles that are too big for his thin wrists, leaving red marks on his skin.

Those are shackles made of really strong wood.

When he lifts his head (whether from hearing my footsteps or just reflex) I almost throw up right there.

One of his eyes is severely swollen. So bad I can barely stand to look at it.

Dark purple, with faded yellow edges...

Oh no, how long has he been like this?

The lips that used to smile at me are now cracked, with dried wounds at the left corner. His cheekbone is scratched, and when I look closer, there are more bruises on his neck and arms.

They didn't even bother treating him...

My chest feels so tight I want to scream.

If Ganesha were here, I probably would've gone to him and demanded an explanation.

Unfortunately, I don't even know where that elephant mask went.

Hephaestus said Ganesha's been gone for several days, apparently handling something big on Ouranos's orders.

Looking at Kaen's face again, my chest feels constricted.

My eyes start to burn, like tears are just waiting for permission to break free.

They beat my child.

They actually beat him.

The child who always smiled every morning. The child who hugged me warmly before bed.

The child whose eyes sparkled every time I cooked breakfast.

He looks so much thinner than the last time I saw him.

His clothes are torn, dirty...

I don't even dare guess what kind of filth is stuck to them.

All the strategies I made with Hephaestus, all the clever plans we put together... they all evaporate.

All that's left is this pain stabbing my chest like a rusty knife.

I walk closer with trembling legs. Every step feels like walking on thin ice that could crack at any moment.

The sound of my feet on the stone floor sounds thunderous even though I'm actually walking slowly.

I pull out a chair and sit down, my eyes unable to leave his figure.

Hashana closes the door and stands in the corner like a statue, arms folded across his chest.

Clearly interested.

"Kaen-kun..." I whisper.

My voice sounds like crumpled paper.

I'm shocked at how weak and hoarse it sounds.

He doesn't lift his head. Doesn't even move. He keeps staring at the shackles on his hands with that empty gaze that tears my heart apart.

I can see his chafed wrists. He must've tried to remove those shackles over and over.

"Why..."

When he speaks, I immediately know... this isn't the Kaen I know.

This is a stranger's voice.

"Why are you here, Goddess?"

Every word is like a slap.

"You shouldn't see me like this." Still without lifting his head.

"You shouldn't be here.

This... isn't appropriate."

I try to reach for his shackled hands. But he pulls them back quickly, the shackles clanging loudly.

"Don't touch me," he whispers, voice trembling.

"You don't know what people will say if they see you touching... a monster like me."

"Kaen-kun, listen—"

He shakes his head hard, finally lifting his head to look at me. And when I see his eyes (the one that isn't swollen) I feel like the world stops spinning.

Empty.

Completely empty.

There's no warmth that usually shines when he looks at me. No laughter. Not even pain or anger.

Just...

emptiness.

Like looking into a bottomless well.

"Leave, Goddess," he says flatly, like reporting a boring mission.

"Forget about me. Just pretend I'm already dead. It's easier that way."

"Don't talk like—"

"I'm a disgrace." He cuts me off, his tone getting louder.

"Useless. A burden that drags your good name through the mud. Look at me, Goddess. Look."

He laughs.

A hoarse, bitter, heart-wrenching laugh.

A laugh without joy, just pure bitterness.

"A weak and stupid Level 1 adventurer. Can't even protect his own goddess's reputation. And now..." his voice trembles ironically, "a criminal. A 'rapist'. Forever known as the bastard who attacked an innocent girl."

Tears pool in my eyes without me being able to stop them.

"I'm trash, Goddess. Useless trash. You should've thrown me away from the start. You should never have given me a place in the Familia."

"Kaen-kun, S—STOP—"

"I'm serious, Goddess!" he suddenly shouts, those empty eyes blazing with something terrible. Not anger or sadness.

"Just kick me out of the Familia! Let me rot in here! I don't care if I die! That's the best thing I could do! My death would be the greatest gift to free you from shame!"

That word "gift."

Something inside me explodes.

Not just anger.

Not just pain.

But a mixture of all the emotions I've been holding back... fear of losing him, the unlimited love I have, anger at myself... everything explodes together.

I suddenly stand up, the chair behind me falls, my hand automatically slams the table.

Kaen's shackles clang like a bell.

"GIFT?!" I scream, breaking the silence.

Tears flow freely, but I don't care. "YOU THINK YOUR DEATH WOULD BE A GIFT TO ME?!"

Hashana jumps, his hand reflexively going to his sword as if sensing danger, but doesn't dare move when he sees a goddess's fury.

"KAEN-KUN... YOU THINK I'D BE RELIEVED IF YOU DIED?!" I continue, my voice mixed with sobs I can't hold back.

While crying, I try to speak calmly.

"Kaen-kun... You think your death... would be a gift to me?"

"You think I could sleep peacefully... knowing my only child died alone?"

"Are you insane?"

I circle the table with fiery steps.

Before anyone can react, my hand flies and slaps Kaen's unbruised cheek.

SMACK!

The slap echoes like an explosion.

"LISTEN TO ME, KAEN!! YOU'RE... SO STUPID!!" I scream in front of his face, tears streaming down.

"USELESS? A BURDEN? WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!"

"LOOK AT ME! LOOK, YOU IDIOT!"

Kaen stares at me with wide eyes, completely shocked.

Maybe it's the first time he's seen me truly angry. Not annoyed, but angry because of love, or what you'd call caring.

"I don't care if you're Level 1 or Level 100!" I keep shouting, ignoring Hashana who steps forward worriedly.

"Don't care if you're rich or poor! Don't care if the whole world calls you a monster or bastard or whatever!"

I grab the front of his shabby shirt, until our faces are almost touching.

"I'M the one who chose you, Kaen! Out of everyone... I CHOSE YOU MYSELF!

And NOW YOU'RE SAYING... your death would be a gift?!"

At first I was shouting, but what comes out is a hoarse voice. Then crying. I can't hold it back.

"So you think I'd be happy if you died?! Think I could live peacefully knowing I failed to protect you? Letting you break down until you wished for death?"

I can't take it anymore.

My strength disappears instantly, and I collapse toward him.

My forehead rests on his shoulder, hands still gripping his shirt, sobbing like a little kid who lost her favorite doll.

"You think... your death would help me?" I sob between gasping breaths.

"That would make me unable to forgive myself, Kaen... That means I failed as a protective goddess... Failed as family... I'd be alone again like before, before you came and gave me a reason to smile every day..."

My tears soak his dirty shirt, but I don't care.

I keep crying, letting out all the pain I've held back for 2 days.

"So don't..." I whisper with a heavily trembling voice, "don't ever talk about yourself being useless again... Don't ever belittle the child I'm most proud of... Don't ever say your death would be a gift..."

Silence fills the room, only filled with my sobs gradually subsiding.

I feel Kaen's body tense under my embrace, his breathing irregular.

"Goddess Hestia..." Hashana's voice from behind, full of hesitation. He seems reluctant to interrupt us.

Though reluctant, he still has to follow the rules.

"Time's almost up, and I think—"

"One more minute," I cut him off without lifting my head from Kaen's shoulder.

"Please."

I feel something wet dripping on my shoulder.

Tears.

Kaen is finally crying too.

"I... didn't know..." his voice is so quiet, trembling with emotion long held back.

"I thought... you'd be better without me... Thought with me gone, your name wouldn't be tainted..."

"Idiot," I whisper while slowly pulling back to look at his face.

The eye that isn't swollen is now full of tears, and for the first time in two days, I see life returning.

He's still the same Kaen as before.

"A tainted name means nothing if I lose the reason to defend it."

Hashana really steps forward.

"Goddess Hestia, time's really up. I have to escort you out now."

I wipe my face roughly, erasing traces of tears.

My crying stops. What's left is just determination. No turning back.

I stand up straight and look directly into Kaen's wet eyes.

"Listen carefully, Kaen-kun," I say with a voice no longer trembling, but full of unshakeable conviction.

"I'm gonna pull you out of here. Alive. Don't care who I have to step on.

Don't care if I have to war with Freya or burn all of Orario to ash. Don't care if I have to challenge the Guild or even if Ouranos himself comes down."

I place my hand on his unbruised cheek, wiping away the remaining tears with my thumb.

"Listen to me, Kaen... I will get you out. Whatever happens.

You're the only one I have, and I'm a goddess who will never break her promise."

His tear-filled eyes look at me with a mixture of shock, hope, and something else. Maybe, for the first time in days, trust.

"So hold on," I continue while slowly backing away as Hashana touches my shoulder.

"Don't give up. Don't let them destroy you more than this. Because I'm coming to get you, and when that happens, I want to see my strong child, not an empty shell like you are now."

Hashana starts guiding me to the door, but I don't look back.

I feel Kaen's gaze piercing my back. No longer empty or hopeless.

Somehow I feel happy. I know Kaen isn't someone who gives up easily.

I know...

because I live with him. Every morning, every night. I know what he's like.

As the iron door closes with a loud sound,

I hear his quiet but clear voice:

"Thank you... Goddess."

Those are the last words I hear before the door shuts.

•••

I walk out of the cell with heavy steps, my breathing still ragged, chest tight like I just finished screaming with all my might.

Hashana beside me walks without saying anything, but I can feel his gaze: half worried, half awkward.

When we reach the end of the corridor, I turn to him.

He looks back, that half-elephant mask making his expression hard to read, but somehow I feel like I see guilt in his eyes.

"Haaaah...." I sigh, holding back anger that hasn't completely faded.

I stare at Hashana for a moment, my gaze cold, full of dissatisfaction.

He bows his head slightly, as if not knowing what to say.

Even though I'm a bit dissatisfied, I can't do anything. After all, he's not wrong.

Without a single word, I turn my face away and walk off, leaving that corridor.

My steps are quick, almost hurried, but there's something burning inside me... growing determination.

Somehow, I can feel Hashana's eyes following my back.

But I don't stop.

After all, I still have a lot of things to do.

As soon as my feet step outside the room, I take a deep breath, holding back tears that still want to fall.

"Looks like... I need to get Kaen out of here fast," I mutter quietly.

This is a promise I plant in my heart.

And also...

the informants I paid...

They should have gotten something by now.

Or at least...

a small clue, anything, that I can use to save him.

I clench my fists and continue on my way.