I didn’t ask to be the Demon Queen

“What do you mean, don’t yell?! I’m dead!!”

 

I was trying to formulate a response, but the shock of being woken up by a woman who by all counts no longer even reached my waist (though I suppose she could hold up her head), and my guilt and just how angry she sounded made that really hard. I found myself tearing up quickly and I wanted to say something, anything, to help.

 

“I-- I’m sor-- sorry.” I began to cry and she looked at me with utter confusion. I don’t know what she’d expected from me when she snuck in here and woke me up, but it wasn’t that. 

 

“What… what do you mean you’re… why are you crying stop crying!?!”

 

“I’m so-- I’m so-- I’m so--” I tried, but kept hiccuping on the first vowel and just found myself crying. I considered myself really good at conflict resolution, all things considered. That is to say, I could usually see both sides of an argument really well, and explain them to both parties in a neutral and calm manner, so that they achieved a greater understanding of what the other person was trying to say, and then resolve the conflict in a way that benefited everyone. But not when people were yelling angrily at me. Then I just got upset and started crying. 

 

“Oh my god, just fight me already!” Sabine yelled in exasperation and I shook my head while sobbing. Of course I wasn’t going to fight her; even defending myself got me into this situation, I had no plans to make it worse by adding more violence! Sabine seemed determined to fight, but she wasn’t actually attacking me, which I considered to be a really good plus. I finally managed to sit upright. Even in a sitting position I was taller than her, now. I suppose that was my fault. 

 

“W-- Why-- What-- Who--” is all I managed. I thought I got the point across clearly and succinctly. Sabine didn’t seem to agree; she waved her own head around to make her point as she spoke. It would have been hilarious if it wasn’t terrifying and deeply upsetting.

 

“Oh, you mean why am I carrying my own head around? Or perhaps you’re wondering what happened? Or who did this? Well, it might as well have been you!!”

 

I only managed to cry a bit harder and she rolled her eyes in exasperation. This wasn’t how either of us expected the night to go, clearly.

 

“When I went back to Wydonia, I saw that people hid themselves at my appearance. Thank you for that, by the way.” 

 

I managed an apologetic sob. 

 

“I had to travel most of the way hidden behind scarves and hoods. When I finally found my friends and the Hero of Eferton, they thought me a thrall under your control! They thought I was there to infiltrate the party and destroy them from within! And maybe, hell, maybe they were right! Maybe you would have taken over my mind once they trusted me! But they didn’t! Tybalt, one of my oldest and dearest friends, said a prayer, apologized to me, and then Cut! Off! My! Head!”

 

“I’m so sorree-hee-hee,” I cried. I found myself aimlessly looking for something to hold on to, a pillow, anything, and she saw my wandering hands. Perhaps she thought I was looking for a weapon, because immediately her forearms sparked blue and she got into a fighting stance almost reflexively. At that moment, several things happened at once. First off, I found a pillow. That was the good news. Her sharp, aggressive movements scared me, and with a yelp I wrapped my arms around the pillow reflexively and threw myself down onto the bed, trying to keep the extremely fluffy shield between myself and her. The second was that her fighting stance had no room for her to hold a head, and so, with a yelp similar to my own, her untethered head found itself bouncing off the carpeted floor with a soft bonk.

 

“Ow!” she said. I peeked over the pillow with a half open eye. Sabine had instantly dropped to the floor to grab her own head, and then jumped back defensively, ready for a counterattack. She sat propped up against the wall when she finally managed to turn her face the right way, and saw me curled up on the bed with a large pillow, tears still streaming down my face. She paused for a moment, and then looked at me, really looked at me. 

 

She got up and walked closer. I tried to make myself small and non-threatening, which is hard to do when you’re taller than most people, hedges, carriages and Christmas trees. I think I managed, trying to scoot away from her. She sat down on the edge of the bed and squinted at me suspiciously.

 

“Who are you?” she asked. 

 

Uh oh. 

 

I couldn’t tell her the truth. Could I? I couldn’t. But maybe… no! However… 

 

Maybe not the entire truth. But maybe just a bit of it. It couldn’t hurt, could it? I had a friend in Kazumi, I thought, but I felt like Sabine didn’t have much to lose, and what was the harm in trusting someone like that? I sat upright and looked at her. Tears were still running down my face but at least my communicative abilities were no longer reduced to ‘heaving sobs’ and ‘yelps of fear’.

 

“I...” I managed. That was about as far as I got before I began to cry again. It looked like I’d been wrong about my speech returning to me. She looked at me differently now. She seemed less annoyed and more… curious. Like she was trying to figure something out. I wanted to tell her something but I wasn’t managing.

 

“You’re not the Demon Queen anymore, are you?” she said. I nodded, still clutching the pillow in front of me. She set her head down on her lap and seemed to think for a moment, scratching the top of her own head idly as if she was petting a cat. 

 

“The fight… You were different after your… clash with the Hero.”

 

That sounded about right. I nodded again.

 

“Did you lose your memory? But then your personality wouldn’t…” I shook my head vigorously. I tried to speak again.

 

“I can remember things.”

 

“From being the Queen?” 

I shook my head no again. “A different life. From before.”

 

She lifted her head and held it closer to mine so she could look in my eyes. It was deeply disturbing, and I leaned back. “??” I exclaimed.

 

“What life, then?” 

 

“I was nobody. Not even from… here.” I thought it was probably not a good idea to mention to Sabine that she was a character in a popular piece of fiction where I came from. “But I was aware of… some things. Wydonia, the Hero, that stuff.”

 

“Then why did you fight us?! Why did you kill me?!!” 

 

“I-- I didn’t mean to!! I didn’t me-- mean-- huuu,” I began to cry again. She pulled her head back quite literally and put it on her lap again. 

 

“You just bounced back my own spell, didn’t you? That one had been meant to kill you. Or at least hurt you. I put everything into it.” She paused. “I couldn’t have survived it.”

 

I sniffed in response. “‘Msorry,” I mumbled into the pillow. 

 

“I’m starting to think it wasn’t your fault,” she said. “You didn’t mean to turn me into this, did you?” 

 

I shook my head. “I just wanted to help you. I felt like I could do something.”

 

She scratched her head again. “Do you know what I am now?”

 

I shook my head. Zombies usually weren’t all that smart, in my experience. She hadn’t seemed like she’d been here to eat brains and so far she hadn’t done any shuffling and shambling. Besides, wasn’t the head what you were supposed to go for? 

 

“You apparently put my soul back in my body. My dead body. You made my body a phylactery.”

 

That sounded like something I was supposed to recognize. It was a magic thing, wasn’t it?

 

“I’m a lich now. I can’t die.”

 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” Sabine turned into a lich if you chose to help Tybalt in the opening fight, I remembered. The gameplay trailer had spoiled as much. Which meant, of course, that everything was still under way for the Hero of Eferton to come and slay me. 

 

She shrugged. “I guess it’s my own fault. I was reckless…”

I reached forward and was again awkwardly reminded of just how big I was compared to her, compared to others. I was lucky her spatial awareness was a little off, so when I put my hand on her shoulder she only recoiled a little bit before she realized I was trying to comfort her.

 

“I don’t think it was your fault either, Sabine. You were just trying to protect the people you care about.”

 

“Thank y-- How do you know my name?”

 

Um.

 

“Um.”

 

I couldn’t tell her I’d romanced her in my first playthrough, years ago. I barely even remembered it.

 

“I think one of your friends called it out.”

 

“Oh, that makes sense.” Thank goodness, it really did.

 

“So what are you going to do?” she asked.

 

I sat down and folded my legs underneath myself. “I’m going to try to stop this whole… war thing from happening. And try not to get killed by your Hero.”

 

She gulped. “He’s very strong.” I nodded. Endgame Hero of Eferton was completely unbalanced. That’s what this DLC had been supposed to fix. So in theory, I was too.

 

“Although,” she said, “when I saw him in the capital he seemed different. Like he didn’t recognize me. He didn’t say much, and didn’t carry himself like he always had. It hurt because of…” She hesitated, probably remembering the history they shared. I was trying to remember if Sabine had been the default romance option. “It hurt,” she concluded. “But if what happened to you happened to him too…”

 

That seemed unlikely. The shock of seeing your friend turned into what was traditionally an evil character must have been too much for him. I nodded at her head in her lap.

 

“Do you… Do you think I could fix that? Without making things worse?”

 

She bit her lip.

 

“It’s worth a shot. It’s not like things can get much worse for me.” She stood up and lifted her head to the stump of her neck. “Truth be told, I came here hoping you’d destroy my body completely. If I wasn’t going to be able to save the world with my friends, I didn’t see the point…”

 

I began to tear up. She looked at me, not understanding. It was just so sad.

 

“What… what made you change your mind?” I asked carefully.

 

She smirked at me as I scooted forward on my knees and held my hands up to her neck to do… I had no idea yet. “I figure, if you’re going to try to avoid this war, you’re going to need someone around you who knows who you are. You look like you have no idea what you’re doing.”

 

“Fair,” I mumbled, my pride a little bit hurt. She wasn’t wrong, though. 

 

“You help me, I help you?” She looked at me and raised her eyebrows. I focused on thinking ‘fix’ and the power in my chest snarled happily at the chance to do something. 

 

I laid my fingers on the skin where the two halves of her neck met. Her skin was cold. She startled slightly. Maybe my skin was warm to the touch? Regardless, I looked her in the eye as my hands began to glow red. “I can fix this,” I said more to myself than to her, and suddenly there was a flash. I removed one hand to get a closer look at her neck, pulling her a little closer. She almost fell over because of the movement, and I realized I still had a lot to get used to when it came to my size and strength. Still, I was here already. Her face and neck in my hand, I inspected the seam -- or lack thereof -- closely. She seemed to be a little panicked, but that was understandable, short of breath. She even put her hand on the outside of mine to steady herself. I let her go and sat back. 

 

“It looks good! How do you feel?” She looked a little taken aback, but took a deep breath.

 

“I feel good. Fine.” She moved her head left to right and then side to side. “Everything seems to be working again!” she said cheerfully. “I had one more question, though.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Could I see… the spot where I died? I feel like there might be something there I can use… Maybe a way to feel more whole, feel more like myself…”

 

“What do you mean?” 

 

She held up her hand sadly and looked at it. “Ever since I died I… I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. Nothing has taste. Colour is dull… I’m hoping that maybe there’s a way…”

 

I nodded. “Of course. I still owe you,” I said, and scooted to the edge of the bed and led the way. Through the main entryway, I turned my head to her as she tried to keep up with my long strides. “How did you get here, anyway?”

 

“I teleported. After I was… beheaded, I used my magic instinctively, and I ended up outside your castle. I picked a window and ported in.”

 

“Wow, you picked mine on the first try?” 

 

“It is the biggest tower.” 

 

“Fair enough,” I smiled as I led the way to the throne room, trying to take smaller steps. 

 

When I walked inside, Sabine ran forward to the blood-smeared spot where she’d died, close to where her friends had teleported away. Just then, Kazumi entered the room from a different door, holding several books. She hadn’t spotted me, and immediately made herself as tall and as threatening as possible, hissing loudly. “Intruder!” she yelled, and moved to attack with all the swiftness one might expect from a snake person. Sabine jumped back instinctively and this time her arms were free to glow blue. I saw what was going to happen and wasn’t having it. 

 

I ran towards both of them in a panic and jumped between them. Kazumi stopped so abruptly I could practically hear the tire screech. As I looked behind me, I saw Sabine relax as it was clear to her I wasn’t going to let the Lamia hurt her. As I looked behind me, I saw that my wings were fully extended and I’d grown to my full size as the Demon Dragon Queen. Kazumi stared at me.

 

Boss music started playing.

“What the fuck.”