I didn’t ask to be the Demon Queen

The faces around the room stared at me. That was probably bad. I realized I had no idea what I was doing, so instead of trying to do something I didn’t know how to -- being an evil queen -- I decided to go with what I knew. Which was largely useless game knowledge and conflict resolution. I took a step forward, which I hoped was the decisive, impressive kind and looked at the map again. Each of my generals was responsible for a part of the fledgling… kingdom? Empire? Lands, I decided. 

 

“This area here --” I motioned towards the bordering area between Wydonia and Queen Eliza’s… well, my, lands. There were a whole bunch of little figurines on it, like toy soldiers.  “Who’s responsible for that again?”

 

The evil-but-inept-looking man chuckled at my question. I didn’t know what was so funny about what I’d said, so I just looked at him. He got quiet quickly. “Good… good joke, your majesty.”

 

“Thank you. So like, this is your area, right?”

 

He nodded without much certainty. I didn’t know what to think of the exchange and apparently, neither did he.

 

“Well?” I asked, wanting to be sure. “Are they your lands, Baron…” I was hoping someone would cut in with his name. Instead, he got red in the face and puffed up his chest. 

 

“Count!”

 

“Baron Count?” That didn’t sound right. The orc and the undead elven woman both chuckled, but I was too busy focusing on the map. 

 

“N-no, your Majesty! Count Otto von Himmeldorfner! You… you wound me! I am not a Baron!” He huffed and puffed. I looked at the map again, lost in thought. 

 

“What’s the difference?” I mumbled, and this time it was Elena, the fire-mage, who snorted unceremoniously. The fact that the majority of the people around the table seemed to be laughing at him made him swell up like an angry balloon dressed in black and red. 

 

“She’s got you there, Otto,” Elena said. “What is the difference?” 

 

I let them get on with their playful ribbing of one another. If I remembered correctly, the part of the map Baron/Count/whatever was responsible for was the border region. I think I remember the original map having that part attached already, so maybe Otto von Ottobahn was some kind of rebel? He didn’t look very rebellious. 

 

“I… A count is a… a much more prestigious, dare I say larger position…”

 

“Otto, you don’t even get to my shoulders,” the orc chuckled. More huffing and puffing. Never mind all that. The territory mister big and red-in-the-face was responsible for… I vaguely remembered that being where Sabine was from. And if it was on the border, that must have been the first territory you had to liberate in the game. But what was the inciting incident, I wondered.

 

“What’s with the toy soldiers?” I interrupted before someone could say something to upset the count even more. As it turned out, that alone was enough to upset the man. When he started sputtering, I rolled my eyes and this time it made Kazumi smile. I liked that, I was really hoping to find a friend in her. He slammed his hand down on the table angrily.

 

“You know full well they are at the border, ready for the attack, Queen Eliza!” The aggressive clap of his fist on the war table interrupted my train of thought and I did everything I could not to jump up in fear and surprise. When he raised his voice, I could feel my cheeks warm up. I wondered briefly if I got a darker purple in the face, but that was interrupted when I felt tears well up in my eyes. I had to try and stay strong.

 

“Y--Yes, I do know that, Baron--”

 

“Count,” he cut in without hesitation. It made me want to cry even more. 

 

“Yes, Count Himmel--... Count Otto, I do know that. But I… I have a change of plans?”

 

He glared at me but the fact that he had to look up and that his moustache was quivering kept me from breaking down. I tried to focus on how much he looked like an angry guinea pig. “Oh yes, Queen Eliza? And what might that be?”

 

I had to take back control of the situation. Angry Guinea Pig was about to make me cry. I remembered briefly how one of my friends once told me to treat a dog when it was charging you. It wasn’t to cower or hide away, but simply to make yourself tall and make noise. I stood upright again, and the count became very small compared to me. I looked at him down my nose, hoping that my horns might cast an intimidating shadow on my face, possibly some kind of glint reflecting from my eye.

 

“We will pull back all troops from the border.” I said with as much authority as I could squeeze out of my voice, but I could tell I wasn’t using it to its full potential. Still, it achieved something. The hamster man stopped huffing. Noise around the table stopped. Everyone stared at me. I looked at Kazumi in a panic. She nodded slightly, as if to encourage me, and that helped. I would make it up to her later. “Immediately,” I added in what I hoped was an authoritative tone.

 

“But… Your majesty! The plan! You can’t be serious!!” the count shouted. 

 

“I have altered the plan,” I said between gritted teeth to keep from crying. “Pray I do not alter it any further.”

 

He took a step back, defeated. 

 

“What devious strategy did you concoct, Queen Eliza?” Elena asked with a smirk.

 

I didn’t have an answer for that. The only thing I had remembered was that the attack from Otto von Schmotto’s territories were the true inciting incident that would cause a full scale assault. It was what eventually led to Queen Eliza’s downfall, so if I could maybe just… fix things, I could keep the Hero of Eferton from attacking and Efertlessly killing me. 

 

“Send a messenger to Queen…” Come on, I knew this one. She was important in the main game as well. 

 

“Queen Anastasia?” Kazumi said helpfully.

 

“Yes! Her! Ahem.” I cleared my throat. “Send a message to Queen Anastasia that I wish to meet with her at the border.”

 

“And you’ll kidnap her? Devious! Brilliant!” Elena said. I looked at her with a confused frown. She instantly took a step back. Why did people do that when I was confused? It looked like I was going to have to practice confusion in the mirror. “I apologize, my Queen,” Elena said. “I didn’t mean to presume your devilish plans.”

 

“I… um… Good. Yes. As for the rest of you…” I paused again. This seemed like the kind of thing where you gave everyone some kind of command so it didn’t look like you were wasting people’s time. “Um…” I said. 

 

“Why don’t…” Kazumi looked at me, eyebrows raised as if asking for permission. I gave her a very short nod. “Why doesn’t everyone repeat their previous assignments and maybe their titles? After the fight in the throne room, it’s only understandable the queen is tired.”

 

Gosh, I hadn’t even considered that. That whole affair seemed long ago already. But it made sense that the whole situation had me confused. Maybe I’d remember more tomorrow? This was the first time I’d ever died, so there were bound to be some growing pains, right? Also the whole being in a woman’s body thing, but I could work my way through that later. It didn’t bother me as much right this minute as the responsibilities of being a monarch did. Especially trying to stay alive. 

 

The others nodded to Kazumi’s suggestion. The undead Elf to my left stepped forward, towards the map, put her hand on the duchy that had once been her home, and shot only the one death-glare at Elena. I tried to manoeuver myself between them subtly. I wasn’t in the right headspace to have two people fighting in the same room. With the source of her current rage out of sight, the woman’s anger evaporated and she became soft-spoken, looking me in the eyes without fear.

 

When she spoke, it was almost a whisper. Her voice was beautiful and breathless, as if every breath was her last and everything she said was therefore of the utmost importance. 

 

“You’ve assigned me to… ‘liaise’, Queen Eliza. Using my old name, Serana Windwalker, I’ve been a presence in Wydonian court, listening in to conversations, spying where I can and learning about Queen Anastasia’s secrets and Wydonia’s vulnerabilities.”

 

“Hmm,” I said, trying to sound like I wasn’t too eager to stop her doing that. “I will need two things from you, Serana.”

 

“I… don’t go by that name anymore, Queen Eliza. I’m Morgana, now.” 

 

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to… I’m so sorry! I mean… ahem.” I tried to compose myself. “I apologize, your changed name had slipped my mind. Forgive me.”

 

“Forgive… you?”

 

“Please.”

 

“O-kay… I forgive you… Demon Dragon Queen Eliza.” She emphasized the names, as if to point something out. I decided to move on and not focus on it.

 

“Thank you, Morgana. Anyway, as to your new assignments…”

 

“Yes, my Lady?” That sent shivers down my spine. Something about the way she said it almost made me blush. 

 

“Hh--hum. Yes. I would like for you to, eh, liaise a bit more. Find out more about the Queen herself -- and write me a full report, please -- and focus more on, eh… building relationships between us and Wydonia. Less sneaking around. If you get caught,” I justified hastily, “it makes us look more suspicious.”

 

She looked at me and nodded. “A wise decision, Lady Eliza.” The way she addressed me made me giddy, and I turned towards the other three. 

 

“Kazumi, eh…”

 

“I mostly run the castle, as you commanded, Queen Eliza. I can call a meeting with the clan heads at your leisure.”

 

“Not… yet.” I paused. I was so tired already, I was sure I didn’t have another meeting in me. I turned towards Elena and… the orc artificer...ess.

 

Elena simply nodded. “I will continue training, Queen Eliza, for when the great day comes. All will burn before me.”

 

This one was a piece of work. She seemed more unstable than the element she inhabited, and I was honestly just kind of uncomfortable being around her, like she was ready to explode at any moment, literally or figuratively. Perhaps…

 

“Where are you staying right now?” 

 

She shrugged. “An abandoned house not far outside the citadel grounds.”

 

“Oh my god! That’s awful!” 

 

She didn’t react to my exclamation and kept up her indifferent air. “It serves its purpose.”

 

“No, that’s not good enough! Kazumi, do we have like, a free room, or something?” I sniffed the air. “Something with good ventilation?”

 

Kazumi nodded. “The northwest tower is currently only being used as an auxiliary storage room. We can free it if necessary. Is it… necessary?”

 

“Yes!” That was too enthusiastic, I realized immediately. Especially considering Elena didn’t really seem to care all that much. “I… want you close by, Elena. I’m sure there is much we might teach each other.”

 

“About magic?” Elena raised an eyebrow.

 

“Sure.” And maybe I could talk her down from whatever was making her go full ‘Burn them all!’ That was the plan, anyway. Learning how to do magic would probably help, because I had no idea what I was doing. “I mean yes. Totally. Definitely. Hem.” I turned towards the orc, who simply smiled at me with a twinkle in her eye.

 

“The Orc stand with you as always, Queen Eliza. I, Erza of the Greenstone, keep everyone from blowing a hole in your mountains, and you keep your promise.” Were they being coy on purpose? They seemed mildly amused at something I couldn’t put my finger on. The subtle smile on her lips, her soft green eyes, her long black hair, it all contributed to making me incredibly flustered. She seemed to be the first and only person I’d met who was in no way impressed or intimidated by my height, and I had no idea why.

 

“What, uh, what was that promise again?” 

 

The smile vanished.

 

“We will live among the other peoples of Wydonia again, in peace, protected from their attempts at harm.”

 

“Wait, hold up,” I said. I remembered that there were very few beast races in the base game, which was why they’d all been lumped into the DLC with a quick ‘Wydonia doesn’t trust monsters’ explanation. The whole thing reeked of fantastical racism and I thought it was weak, hack writing. 

 

“You’re saying you’re not allowed in Wydonia, right?”

 

“This is widely known,” Erza said solemnly.

 

“Yeah, fuck that shit, I’m keeping that promise. You keep doing you, we’re cool. Are you staying in the castle?”

 

Erza seemed very close to laughing out loud. “Yes, I am, Queen Eliza. And thank you for your… enthusiastic support of our people. You can summon me whenever you wish, Queen Eliza.”

 

I nodded and turned towards the room. I had no idea how to end this whole conversation. I looked at all of them, trying to commit their names and faces to memory. They all seemed a little uncomfortable at me staring down at them, which I realized immediately was very rude. 

 

“Thank you all for coming, that will be all,” I said. One by one they left the room, except for Kazumi, who stayed behind, waiting for Erza to close the door behind her. 

 

“Are you… all right, Eliza? You didn’t seem like your usual self today.”

 

I plopped down in a wooden chair, one I realized was a replica of the giant one made of black marble in the main throne room. “I’m sorry, Kazumi, I’m still kind of eh… out of it. I’m doing my best!”

 

She looked at me with big eyes, blinking a few times. “You… you’re fine! You did great!” She paused, hesitantly. “If I may say so, of course.”

 

“Of course you can, Kazumi. Thank you. You’re a good… uh…” I looked her up and down. “Snake.”

 

“Thank you!” she squeaked. “Did you need me for anything else tonight?”

 

Tonight?

 

“What time is it?” 

 

“Sun is setting, my queen. I believe this is usually when you retire to your chambers, isn’t it?”

 

“I guess if you say so. Where… do you stay?” I asked curiously. “In case I have need of your services.”

 

“My chambers are the first door adjacent to yours, Queen Eliza. I’m always at your service.”

 

“Are you happy with them?” I asked. I owed her a favour for intervening earlier.

 

“As happy as can be expected, your highness.” Something about that rubbed me the wrong way. I touched her lightly on the arm to get her attention, but she blushed feverishly. I must have scared her again. 

 

“Can I do anything to make it better, Kazumi? What do you want?”

 

“Well… I’ve a small library, but most of the books I would love to read are in your chambers and… well…”

 

“You can tell me, Kazumi. I won’t bite.” I was hoping that would calm her somewhat. She was still blushing, however.

 

“You once told me they were off limits, but you mentioned earlier I could ask you anything and…”

 

“Oh, of course!” I blurted out. “Yes, sure, whenever you want! Just… uh… knock. But whatever books in there you want to read, go for it! Maybe organize them a bit when you put them back? I don’t know what sh--” I interrupted myself before I said something stupid. “I don’t know what came over me to have that room such a mess. But yes, go right ahead, Kazumi. And thank you again, for your help. You do a lot around here.”

 

She squeaked a thank you and, after the cutest and shortest of curtsies, left the room. I took a deep breath and felt in my shoulders just how tired I was. I got up, walked out, and walked the black carpet to my chambers. I couldn’t be bothered to hoist myself into attire more suited to sleeping, and simply keeled over forwards onto the massive bed when I’d finally reached it. I was asleep before I hit the mattress. 

 

I woke up later, in the middle of the night, to something tugging at the hem of my dress. Groggily, I looked up. I didn’t immediately recognize the person before me, because they were shorter than they had been before. 

 

“You promised me you’d make it up to me!” Screaming. I didn’t like waking up to screaming. “You’re going to make it up to me, you’re going to help me, and you’re going to fix this!”

 

Sabine was very mad at me, but it was hard to take her entirely seriously, partly because she’d clearly been rained on and she was soaking wet, making her look like a wet cat, but largely because she was screaming at me with her own head under her arm. 

 

“You owe me!”

 

“Please don’t yell.”