NOVEL WEB Chapter 65: So I Was the Clown All Along
"You two must be thirsty in this heat!" the Millelith captain said with a big smile. "We've got water and food with us. Why not take a break before continuing on your way?"
He mentally gave himself a gold star for that brilliant excuse.
No way they'd turn that down, he thought smugly. Perfectly reasonable. Totally non-suspicious.
"Sorry, we're good," Xu Zheng declined again.
Something felt off about this captain. A little too friendly, a little too clingy. It was giving stranger danger, but in a bureaucratic way.
By now, Xu Zheng's body had matured, so there shouldn't be any Millelith left who could recognize him.
And yet this guy was sticking to them like glue, radiating the desperate energy of 'If you walk away I'll cry right here on the ground.'
The captain flinched inside. What? Even that offer didn't work?
Wait—could they be on to me already?
"The heat is dangerous. Dehydration leads to heatstroke. Seriously, you need to drink some water," he insisted, ramping up the concern.
He just needed to stall for a few more minutes. Just a little longer, and Lady Ganyu would arrive.
And once she did? Game over. No escape.
"We really don't need any," Xu Zheng replied again, this time trying to shut things down for good.
"Eula-jie, show him how we deal with thirst."
Eula caught the hint. With a flick of her wrist, her Vision shimmered slightly, and Cryo energy gathered in her palm.
A clear, cold ice cube materialized in her hand.
"See?" Xu Zheng said, shrugging. "We've got hydration covered."
The captain froze. Another emotional damage critical hit.
Not only were these two disgustingly good-looking and probably dating, but now they were conjuring ice in this ridiculous heat?
Meanwhile, he was stuck sipping warm water from a canteen. No—hot water, thanks to the sun.
Absolutely cursed.
Xu Zheng turned to leave again.
"Wait!"
The captain called after them once more.
"What now?" Xu Zheng asked, voice tinged with real irritation. He was this close to name-dropping Ganyu just to get this guy to back off.
Seriously—this man was acting like some overly-attached tour guide. I don't need protection, thank you very much.
The captain suddenly straightened up, voice sharp and official.
"I suspect the two of you are connected to the thief, Levien. I ask that you cooperate with our investigation."
"???"
Xu Zheng was baffled.
Okay, sure—technically we've 'interacted' with Levien. If almost murdering him counts. But cooperating with your random investigation? Yeah, no thanks.
Then, something clicked in his mind.
Didn't Ganyu give me a token once?
According to her, it was a special badge identifying him as an official Liyue affiliate—something that could even temporarily command a squad of Millelith if needed.
Just in case of emergency.
Xu Zheng reached for it, planning to flash his credentials.
Me? I'm Ganyu's apprentice. Eula, Yanfei, Hu Tao, Xiangling—yeah, I've got the Liyue harem blessing. Certified Good Guy™.
But the Millelith captain saw him reaching for something and panicked.
Is he going for a weapon?!
Is he trying to silence me before I blow his cover?!
No way! I was born Millelith, I'll die Millelith!
He took a deep breath and screamed at the top of his lungs:
"HELP! CRIMINALS ATTEMPTING TO ESCAPE!"
He shouted so hard, he nearly popped a blood vessel.
Nearby squads heard the call and immediately started rushing over.
"???"
Xu Zheng and Eula just stood there, blinking.
Eula's expression twisted into something between a grimace and disbelief.
This guy is really going all-in for a performance review bonus, huh?
Isn't Xu Zheng Ganyu's disciple? Why would Millelith go after their own?
Liyue people are scary. They'll even turn on their own if needed…
"Maybe… this is all just a misunderstanding?" Xu Zheng said awkwardly, attempting diplomacy.
Meanwhile…
Ganyu was approaching from the east, leading several Millelith teams.
They had received a tip-off that Levien had been seen nearby, and Ganyu had decided to come personally—just in case.
When she heard the captain's bellowing scream, she sprinted toward the source of the commotion.
And then she stopped dead in her tracks.
Wait… where are the criminals?
All she saw was Xu Zheng and Eula standing in a field looking mildly annoyed.
"Master! Good afternoon!" Xu Zheng called out cheerfully.
Eula gave her a polite nod.
"Xu Zheng? What are you two doing here?" Ganyu asked, confused.
"We were out looking to 'capture' you," Xu Zheng said, totally deadpan.
Ganyu blinked. Capture… me?
Then it hit him.
The system's mission to "capture the coconut goat"…
It was referring to Ganyu.
System… you sly bastard. I see you.
The Millelith captain, now face to face with his superior's disciple, looked like he wanted the earth to swallow him whole.
All that scheming, all that tension…
And the "suspicious person" turned out to be the boss's adopted gremlin.
He was mortified.
"Right, uh… I got a report earlier. About two suspicious individuals. That… wasn't you two, was it?" Ganyu asked.
Xu Zheng nodded and turned toward the captain—who was now trying to stealthily scoot away.
Ganyu followed his gaze and locked eyes with the man, who stiffened and stood at attention.
Xu Zheng walked up, clapped a hand on his shoulder, and said with a smirk:
"Good instincts. Next time, try not to use them."
Captain: "...(ノへ￣,)"
Turning back to Ganyu, Xu Zheng asked, "Any sign of Levien?"
She shook her head. "We found signs someone had been hiding in a cave nearby. But it looks like it's been empty for at least two days. He probably ran."
…
Elsewhere—
Xiangling and Yanfei had just finished delivering their batch of medicinal herbs and were walking back.
"Yanfei, do you think Xu Zheng will be able to catch the coconut goat?" Xiangling asked.
"No idea."
Xiangling looked hopeful. "I really want some coconut milk. I hope he finds her!"
"Is the coconut goat even real?" Yanfei muttered. As a half-adeptus, she remained skeptical.
Her dad, an actual adeptus, had never once mentioned anything about a mythical coconut goat.
…
"Ah-CHOO!"
Ganyu sneezed suddenly.
She had that eerie feeling—like someone was talking about her behind her back.
"Xu Zheng, would you like to come back with us?" Ganyu offered.
"Sure, I'd love to go back with Master," he replied.
Eula raised an eyebrow. "What about catching the coconut goat?"
"The… coconut what?" Ganyu looked puzzled.
Xu Zheng explained their earlier detour to Bubu Pharmacy and the subsequent "mission."
Ganyu blinked slowly, processing the absurdity.
Then turned to Eula with a polite, mildly embarrassed smile.
"Thank you for looking after… my Xu Zheng."
"It was no trouble."