Heaven's Most Unwanted: A Cultivator's Comedic Rise

Shen Yuan coughed smoke as the lightning bolt fizzled out. Zap-Chan was a fried, smoking bundle of feathers at his feet.

"Can someone tell the heavens to stop throwing tantrums?" he muttered, poking his companion. Zap-Chan twitched, sneezed a spark, and flopped onto its back dramatically.

The realm they had entered was impossible. Not in the poetic, dreamlike way, but in the I-don't-think-this-follows-any-physical-laws sort of way.

Shen Yuan stood on a stone path that floated in midair. Gravity occasionally flipped sideways, and clouds passed under his feet like lazy rivers. Trees hung from the sky. The sun was shaped like a banana. Every few seconds, a heavenly bell somewhere tolled a different joke.

Knock-knock.

Who's there?

Cultivator.

Cultivator who?

Cultivator you not laugh?

The voice from earlier returned, booming yet cheerful.

"Welcome, successor. I am the Divine Comedian, guardian of the Temple of Comedy Divine. You have passed the first trial. Now, you must face the second: The Hall of Truth."

A shimmering doorway appeared ahead, framed by golden curtains shaped like laughing faces. Shen Yuan glanced at Zap-Chan, who had just started glowing faintly with recharge energy.

"You good?"

The bird burped electricity in response.

"Close enough."

He stepped through the curtain.

The interior of the temple was a long corridor lined with mirrors. Except these were not ordinary reflections. They shimmered, twisted, and occasionally raised eyebrows at him like judgmental grandparents.

Each mirror bore a phrase etched in divine script.

Truth is laughter.

Laughter is power.

Power is responsibility. Also, taxes.

Shen Yuan raised an eyebrow. "They're not wrong."

As he walked deeper, the system pinged again.

New Trial Initiated: The Mirror of Mockery

Objective: Survive the Truth of Self. Duration: 60 seconds

Failure Penalty: Ego bruising, mild humiliation, temporary loss of face

Before he could ask what that meant, the largest mirror at the end of the hall rippled and came to life.

His reflection stepped out of it.

Same face. Same clothes. Same confused lightning chicken.

But this Shen Yuan wore a perfectly sarcastic smile and carried himself like someone who knew every embarrassing thing about the original.

"Wow," the Mirror Shen Yuan said. "So this is what we look like after transmigrating into a world of ancient magic, soul-grinding cultivation, and talking mushrooms. I was expecting a bit more... dignity."

Shen Yuan squinted. "You're my trial?"

Mirror Shen Yuan spread his arms. "The only thing stronger than your enemies is your own crippling self-awareness. Let's dance."

Then he lunged.

It wasn't a physical attack. Instead, Mirror Shen Yuan hit him with a barrage of words.

"You rely on sarcasm because you're afraid of being taken seriously."

"Every time you make a joke, you're hiding from how scared you are."

"You say you're fine being underestimated, but you really just hate disappointing anyone."

Each word struck like a slap. The mirrors around them cracked slightly. Shen Yuan staggered, heart pounding.

This wasn't a fight. This was therapy with a body count.

The final blow came.

"You make people laugh so they never have to see you cry."

For a second, Shen Yuan wanted to run.

But then Zap-Chan flared up with blue lightning behind him and screeched defiantly.

And something in Shen Yuan snapped back into place.

"Yeah," he said, straightening. "That's all true."

The mirror froze mid-swing.

"But you know what else is true?" Shen Yuan grinned. "I'm still here."

He stepped forward.

"I've been laughed at my whole life. I've been doubted, discarded, and quite literally dropped into a murder forest with a lightning pigeon. And yet, somehow, I'm the guy still standing."

The corridor pulsed with golden light.

"I laugh because it's mine. Because it's how I survive. Because it's how I win."

Mirror Shen Yuan began to fade, his smug smile softening.

"Accepting self... Complete."

The trial ended with a soft chime.

You have conquered the Mirror of Mockery.

Reward: +1 Cultivation Tier, +1 Comedic Resilience, System Function Upgrade

A wave of warmth surged through Shen Yuan's meridians. He gasped as the qi inside him expanded like a balloon. The feeling was like laughing while falling upward.

He was now at Foundation Establishment, First Stage.

Which, in Mistcloud Sect terms, meant he had officially become someone who could actually take a hit and maybe not immediately die from it.

Zap-Chan chirped approvingly and began spinning in a circle.

A side hallway opened with a gentle groan of ancient wood. Shen Yuan followed it into a chamber lit by a single flame suspended in the air. Beneath it stood a podium with a scroll made of crystal and inkless script.

The voice returned.

"You have proven your value. This is the Second Key to the Laughing Heavens."

The scroll floated toward him.

Shen Yuan reached out and, as his fingers brushed the surface, a thousand images flooded his mind.

A monk telling jokes during war.

A swordsman who never killed, only disarmed with puns.

A queen who ruled through laughter and died smiling.

It was the legacy of mirth, weaponized joy, the cultivation of the absurd made divine.

And he now carried it.

As the temple began to dissolve into starlight, the system pinged.

Legacy Progress: 2/7 Temples Awakened

New Title Unlocked: Divine Fool

Special Ability: Heaven's Punchline causes enemies to suffer spiritual disruption if they fail a Wisdom save against your jokes

Before Shen Yuan could even celebrate, the system added one more line.

Warning: Incoming divine presence approaching rapidly

He turned just in time to see a rippling golden tear open in the air beside him.

A woman stepped through.

Her robes were pure white. Her hair floated like silk on water. Her eyes glowed with starlight.

And she looked at him with a mix of disbelief and horror.

"You," she said. "You're the one who touched the legacy."

Shen Yuan blinked. "Do I owe you money?"

She raised a hand.

The air cracked.

"Wait," Shen Yuan said, backing up. "Can't we talk this out like mature cultivators?"

She launched forward like a spear of light.

Zap-Chan screamed.

The ceiling exploded.