Glorious Vanity (SI LitRPG)

A shield in my left hand. A sword in my right.

A green blur shot towards my face. But I saw it and intercepted with my shield.

*boing*

A rubbery sound echoed before the green blur bounced back onto the grass before me. A slime, wriggling in a daze.

I pushed through the numbness in my left arm before I stepped forward and swung my sword. Silver cut through the air, piercing something that felt like a water balloon. And then-

[Green Slime defeated!]

[You have gained some experience.]

"Huh." I stepped back and looked at the dissolving green goo. "That's different."

Before, it just said that the enemy had 'perished.' But now it said that it was 'defeated.' Not only that, but it actually said I gained experience. Didn't say how much, but it was 'some.' Definitely different than how it was when I just gained levels from killing a bunch of things.

Applause filled the air. "Good job, Vain!"

I turned around to see Freyr clapping her hands, genuine pride on her face.

Aqua stood next to her, shoving a bunch of Skit- 'Skiddles' into her mouth. After munching on the colorful sugar circles, she rolled her eyes and said, "Applause for just that? Even the squires could do better!"

The sword in my right hand crumbled into dust, leaving me with just my shield.

Right. Just my shield, because Avalon was still having a slumber party with Alice somewhere and watching some movies.

["Donkey! That's a dragon!"]

...Wait. Are you watching freaking Shrek?

[No, Vain. We're watching Ogre.]

I liked you better when you were less snarky.

[And I liked you better when you were single, but we can't all be winners now, can we?]

Wait, what?

<Alli! Is Donkey really going to fall? I don't want Donkey to fall!>

[Just keep watching Sweetie.]

...Why does it feel like I'm listening to my sister babysitting her kid?

I sighed and then shook my head, focusing back on my surroundings.

We were out in the fields past Eden. The usual cliched JRPG or MMORPG area with tall grassy areas, slimes and wild boars roaming around. Typical stuff.

Gale was off a bit in the distance, mowing through hordes of slimes that he aggroed, while occasionally punting one my way.

Like the one I just fought.

Fortunately for me, it seemed like the slimes knew I was the weakest person there so they all deaggroed Gale and focused on me, giving me time and space for practical experience.

Unfortunately...

I ran my empty right hand through my hair and said, "This isn't really working."

Aqua switched out her bag of Skiddles for some Starburrs, little square fruit taffy things, and popped one in her mouth. After that, she said, "Well of course not. They're slimes. What do you expect?"

Freyr glanced over at Aqua and said, "If a certain someone was willing to cast magic, we could be fighting boars instead."

"Waste my precious magic on mere boars? Please. I only have a limited number of spells. I'm not going to spend them on trash like that."

Freyr frowned.

I waved my hand and said, "Don't worry about it, Freyr. It's not Aqua's fault that she's useless."

Aqua immediately stopped eating and glared at me. "I am not useless!"

I looked at Aqua and said, "What kind of magician has a limited number of spells to cast?"

"What kind of man gets hurt fighting a slime?!"

"The same kind of man supplying your sugar addiction."

Aqua flinched and then hugged her bag against her chest. "No backsies! You promised!"

"Yes. But..." I waved my hand, causing the bag to disappear. Along with all the candy inside.

Aqua gasped and then fell to the ground. "Noooooooooooooooo!" She started clawing at the grass and sobbing. "My candy!"

Freyr blinked.

"...And now I feel bad." I sighed and then conjured up another full bag of knock-off candies with [World Creator (Minor)] before tossing it over. "Geez. You don't have to act like such a kid."

Aqua snatched the back out of the air and then glared at me. "Meanie! And I am not a kid! I'm 15! That makes me an adult!"

"That's not an- Actually, this isn't worth arguing about. Just eat your candy."

"I will! Meanie." Aqua huffed and then flopped on the ground, gingerly opening the bag. Her eyes widened and lit up for a bit when she saw her new spoils. But then she gave me a stink eye and turned around, as if scared I would make them disappear.

I checked up on Gale to see if he needed any help. But the knight was fine, casually mowing through the slimes as if we were grinding out some drops to sell in the first stages of an MMORPG. Like Maplestory or something.

Since that was the case, I conjured up a pair of wooden chairs and sat down.

Freyr took the seat next to me and then held my left hand, gently tracing over the blisters on my palm. "Are you alright, my beloved?"

I smiled and said, "It's fine. Just a bit sore."

"Should I buy you a potion?"

"And get rid of this progress? No thank you."

I was... 99% sure that potions erased wounds here instead of just making the body heal itself. That was part of the reason why I didn't just use [First Aid] or [Disengage] to heal up. Couldn't build muscle without a bit of pain.

Freyr frowned and then sighed. "If only I could give you a fraction of my strength... Seeing you suffer so much pain for such little reward tears at my heart, Vain."

I placed my right hand over her hands and smiled. "It's fine, Freyr. You're already giving me strength."

Literally. Pretty sure I'd be laid out from exhaustion if not for the stat correction I had being her beloved.

Well, that and the recent stat gains from the other things.

Freyr's eyes lit up and then she leaned her head against my shoulder. "...And you give me the strength to go on as well, my beloved." After saying that, she let out a content sigh.

I smiled.

And then I noticed Aqua staring at me with a weird look.

"What?"

She looked at Freyr and then me before shaking her head. "I still don't get it. I've heard stories about goddesses falling in love with mortals before. But usually those guys are incredible. Not some random nobody who actually winces in pain from blocking a slime's charge."

Freyr twitched.

I quickly patted her head. "Hey now. No going crazy, remember?"

"...I will do no such thing. I simply wanted to educate my dear friend about the truth in how incredible you are."

"And I keep telling you that I'm not that incredible."

"And I keep telling you to stop lying to yourself, my beloved."

"Mm... I'll think about it."

Freyr laughed and then sat up.

I looked back to Aqua and said, "You're right though. I'm a random nobody who winces in pain from a slime. Which is why you're here to help me level up."

[Your party member <Gale> has completed his battle.]

[You have gained experience being in a party.]

[You have collected enough experience to level up!]

[-Error. Your level of existence is too high.]

[Your accumulated experience will be converted to a bonus stat point. +1 Bonus Stat Point.]

What.

[Oh! I forgot to tell you.] Alice's voice echoed in my head. [After the whole shebang with Freyr, your levels got all screwy. You did a weird thing where you gave some of your status to her and took some of her status, so now leveling is going to be hard.]

...You couldn't have told me that before I spent hours pounding on some slimes!?

[Hey. You're the one who never asked.]

That's because you pulled some 'I'm a system and I can't answer questions' earlier!

[Well, I leveled up.]

How the hell does a system level up?

[You tell me. I just know that I did.]

"...Does he usually trail off and go deep in thought, Freyr?"

"Yes. He does that quite a bit. But do you not think it is endearing? His focused face is quite cute."

"...It looks more like he's plotting to destroy the world than cute, Freyr."

I blinked and then realized that it looked like I spaced out. I shook my head and laughed. "Sorry about that. Just got a weird status message."

[I am not weird!]

<Alli?>

[Nothing Sweetie. Did you want more popcorn?]

<Can we watch the orange fish movie next?>

[Of course. Let me get some caramel going too so we can have some caramel popcorn.]

<Yay!>

...Yeah, let's just ignore them for now.

[I heard that.]

<Master's ignoring us?>

Not you, Avalon. Daddy's just busy.

<Daddy? Is Master Daddy? Then... Is Miss Freyr Mommy? Oh! Then is Alli my sister?! Yay!>

[...]

...

"Aaand he's doing it again. Are you sure he's all there, Freyr?"

"W-Well... The other night... Um... P-Perhaps I may have over did it..."

"Wait, what? The other night... What the heck did you do?!"

"T-That is... I-I will tell you when-"

Freyr suddenly cut off.

I blinked, pulling my attention away from Avalon and Alice and then realized why.

A floating window in front of me, blinking with red light.

-V-

[Message from the Guide]

Sorry to interrupt everyone, but there's been a change of plans. The people upstairs think that you've all done a brilliant job managing the Tutorial... and most of you have already gathered up the required points one way or another, so we're moving along!

-V-

I blinked, quickly rereading it. "Wait."

Aqua jumped to her feet. "That's not fair! You can't just end the Tutorial like that!"

Freyr frowned and stood up. She quickly moved to my side and grabbed my left hand. "Vain..."

"Yeah. Looks like things might get messy soon." I frowned and tapped on the message.

The moment I did, another message appeared. Off to the side, I saw Gale run back to stand by Aqua, but I ignored him for the moment.

-V-

[Message from the Guide (Part 2)]

These crazy things called 'Scenarios' are about to start up now, so I hope you all prepped! And I hope you made friends, because it's going to be a heck of a ride if you don't have any! From this point onwards, it's a crazy train right to hell, so good luck! I'll send some gifts to you to not drop dead the moment they start, but you'll need to do all you can to stay alive. Have fun!

P.S. Make sure to pick a proper sponsor! They'll be your best shot at staying alive!

P.P.S. If you make a good enough show, I might say hi and offer you a sponsorship, so do try your best! I'll make it worth your while.

-V-

The moment I finished reading the message, I saw it. Right above me, the clear blue sky started to break down. Like space itself was breaking... No. Space itself *was* breaking. Broken shards of the sky fell down, glittering like glass while revealing an endless starry void.

Aqua screamed and clung onto Gale.

Gale narrowed his eyes and held her close. "I have you, Princess."

"Vain!" Freyr grabbed my arm, as if afraid I would vanish if she didn't.

Though that was probably accurate.

I could feel it. The familiar pull of a teleport spell, just like before. Except this one was *much* stronger. More mana than even Freyr had. Enough that I could feel it, but couldn't see it anymore.

"Gale." I held out my right hand to him. "Hold on."

Gale looked confused for a moment, but then he nodded and quickly grabbed my left hand.

Aqua huffed and said, "What are you doing!? Don't worry about-"

Before she could finish that, all sound vanished. As if the world was suddenly put on mute.

But then an ancient and rumbling voice spoke up.

-V-

[Upon the end arrives a new beginning. The first scenario to achieve the Final Story has descended.]

[A world where the dead rise once more. One where death lurks at every corner.]

[Apocalypse Eschatology]

[Do your best to survive in this godless world, Oh Chosen Ones...]

-V-

Wait. Apocalypse Eschatology? That sounds awfully familiar. No, way too familiar...

WAIT! Isn't that-!?

A swell of energy and invisible light.

Then, nothing.