Glorious Vanity (SI LitRPG)

Gale blinked and tilted his head. "A proposition?"

I smiled. "That's right. Well... I guess it's more like a trade. You see, I have a problem."

Aqua huffed and crossed her arms. "More like you *are* a problem."

I shrugged. "Can't deny that."

And both Alice and Avalon would probably assert that fact. Well, more Alice than Avalon.

"But anyway..." I leaned back and held up my hand. "As you two probably realized, I'm an ordinary person who found himself in extraordinary circumstances."

Gale tilted his head and said, "I... don't quite believe that statement considering your recent accolades and apparent endeavors, but do go on."

Ah, right. I guess it would be a bit hard to swallow that what with the whole having Freyr love me and all. And my little show before. And apparently being buddies with Lucy...

Speaking of which, I cleared the Tutorial, right? That guy never did send me a confirmation message thing. Or Freyr either-

[Message from the Guide]

Congratulations on clearing the Tutorial! And thanks again for so handily supplying a niche market that I've been trying and failing to fulfill for the past... ever.

Stick around though. I'm sure you're aware of the things to come, so it would be in your best interests to prepare as much as you can now. When the time runs out, I'll just become an ordinary upper power, you know?

Anywho, I'll send you and Miss Valhalla- Ah, I mean Missus Glory a wedding present later. Ta-ta!

...Was he reading my thoughts? Ah, no. He was definitely watching us though and probably thought that timing was funny. Considering how much of a troll he seemed to be, I wouldn't put it past him.

But anyway, Gale and Aqua.

I put on my serious face and said, "I'm weak. Right now, I'm weaker than the average human being, with the only upside being my mana. If I could, I would just go level up with Freyr, but-"

"The gap is too large, is it?" Gale nodded and looked at Freyr. "I suppose Lady Freyr's power is quite disparate from the average mortal's. Experience would be non-existant were that the case. Though..." He tilted his head and said, "If you are as rich as you say you are, can you not simply buy out elixirs and tonics from the shop? Or on the auction house?"

I sighed. "I tried. But there's a shortage right now."

Mostly because people were gearing up to prepare for the next phase. After all, sponsors would only be able to obtain sponsees... sponsorors? People to sponsor.

Sponsors would only get people to sponsor if they had things to offer. And while most of the higher leveled people/gods/demons/immortals had plenty of resources to spend and entice people, the lower level ones had to scramble to try and compete.

...Which meant that we were all out of stat up items. Sadly.

Gale frowned. "A shortage? Hm..."

"Isn't it obvious?" Aqua grinned and said, "You spent your lifetime of luck winning Freyr's attention! Of course you won't find anything else!"

I nodded. "That's true. Meeting Freyr and having her fall in love with me is the luckiest thing that's ever happened to me... and probably the luckiest that ever will happen to me."

Aqua's grin froze before turning into a frustrated frown.

"Hm?"

What was she so upset about?

Freyr reached over and laced her fingers with mine before letting out a shy smile. "...The same is true for me, my beloved."

-Ah. Emitting max RIAJUU aura right now. Got it.

A small bell chimed. After that, the food we ordered appeared on the table, piling up high. Some pasta for me and Freyr, meat and bread for Gale... and a whole stack of pastries for Aqua.

Gale turned to stare at Aqua.

She blushed and said, "W-What?"

"...Princess. You are extremely fortunate that the sugar you consume goes to your upper body and not your lower body."

Aqua puffed out her chest, acting smug. "I know! It's great!"

Freyr laughed. "It must be wonderful being able to enjoy such sweets."

"Hm?" Aqua paused and looked at Freyr. "But you eat a lot too, Freyr. I don't think you have to worry about getting fat, right?"

"No. But I also have a similar constitution." She frowned and then hugged her chest. "When I consume too many sweets, it becomes hard to find breastplate that fits comfortably. And since I am not a magician like you are, I cannot afford such luxury."

I tried hard not to think about that fact. After all, Freyr was already perfect the way she was. Even if it was possible that she could get bigger up there... and then if she wanted to-

[Pervert.]

Stop reading my mind!

[Stop thinking so loud!]

HOW?!

[Ugh.]

<Big Sister Alice?>

[Just chatting with Vain, Lonnie. Be right there.]

<Kay. Can I have more popcorn?>

[Go ahead sweetheart.]

<Thank you!>

...Just curious. Like, are you seriously in a place or is this all just mental?

[Wouldn't you like to know?]

I would, thank you very-

[Don't die now. Talk later.]

A beep echoed in my head, followed by the sound of an old phone connection line droning on and on before fading out.

I had SO MANY questions.

But that wasn't important right now, I guess.

"Anyway." I turned back Gale and Aqua. "Since you two are Freyr's friend, I was wondering if you were willing to party up and help me level grind. I'll pay you, of course. Like that, you can easily clear the Tutorial and I can level up. It's a win-win, right?"

Aqua narrowed her eyes. "That sounds fishy. I don't like it."

Gale rapped his fingers on the table and looked at Freyr. "Yes. No offense to you, Lady Freyr... but I find it hard to believe. Even if Sir Glory is friends with the Guide and managed to obtain such riches... it is too convenient."

Freyr pursed her lips. She looked like she wanted to argue, but she couldn't. Eventually, she sighed and said, "I suppose that is true. If I did not know how stupidly selfless Vain is, I would have been suspicious as well."

I frowned and said, "I am not stupidly selfless."

[You are.]

<Master is!>

"You absolutely are."

An immediate triple shutdown.

My frown deepened.

Gale laughed. "Well... How about this?" He looked at Aqua and said, "The princess and I took up a quest to gather slime cores outside the city. We can party together and see our coordination then. If it goes well, we can discuss further work together in the future."

Aqua glared at Gale. "I didn't agree to this!" She turned to look at me and said, "I don't believe you're an ordinary person like you say you are! And I don't know what world you come from, but you reek of suspicious bad guy! Not only that, but-"

I tossed something across the table. Something brightly wrapped in orange foil.

Aqua paused. "What's this?"

"Chocolate covered wafer cookies. You like sweets and desserts, right? If you agree, I can pay you in that those too."

Gale's eyes widened. "Princess. Princess, wait-" He reached out to grab it, but before he could, Aqua ripped the package open.

Four chocolate sticks stuck together. TikTak bars, similar to a certain chocolate candy famous for giving people breaks.

"No! This is mine, Gale!"

"But you just said you didn't trust him! How could you-"

"Candy never lies!" Shouting that as a battle cry, Aqua chomped on the TikTak bars, biting off a chunk.

Wait.

"Oh god why."

Aqua paused in the middle of munching on the chocolate, letting out a content smile. "Mm... Fine!" She looked at me, chocolate smearing her face and said, "I guess you're not that bad, Mister Pride."

"Vain."

"I said that. Just keep the candy coming and you can boss Gale around however you like."

I stared at Gale.

He stared back and let out a deep sigh.

I looked back at Freyr and said, "You know. I was wondering why these two stuck around to support you when everyone else left, Freyr."

"Hm?" Freyr paused in the middle of eating a bite from her pasta. Setting her fork down, she tilted her head and said, "You were?"

I nodded and said, "I was." I looked back at the knight and princess and said, "Turns out, you're all a hopeless bunch of people prone to trouble, aren't you?"

If Aqua could be won over by some candy just like that despite being so annoyed with me earlier... And seeing how quickly Gale folded to her demands...

"Yeah. We're definitely partying up. I'd rather not have to fight Gale here later after Aqua got tricked by some friendly looking swordsman looking for newbies to join their party only to get poisoned or mind-controlled, forcing Gale to act as a dark knight or something to try and win her freedom back only to find out that she was actually mind-broken or something and then used as a plaything by the swordsman."

Gale blinked and said, "That's... an awfully specific scenario, Mister Glory."

Aqua huffed and said, "I would never-"

I tossed a bag of jelly beans across the table.

Aqua gasped and then quickly reached inside, tossing a handful into her mouth. "So sweet and sour...! What are these jewel-like delights?"

I gave Gale a blank stare.

He let out a nervous laugh.

I sighed. "...Yeah. We've got a lot of work to do."