Gardenia of Blooming Desire

'Damn.'

Aster cursed himself over and over after his new servant saw him sleeping peacefully. He thought that with his new servant observing him in his cool, indifferent and domineering demeanor, his servant would like him. At least his servant would see him as a master who needed to be taken seriously.

'I'm not sleep talking right? Did I snore?'

Aster felt it was strange for him to stress over something as trivial as a servant. But he was a new servant, a personal one that was. This was his first time having a chance to have a genuine friend other than his cousins, Charles and Rosalie.

He had 'friends', those noble kids who came to the grand ball and tried to pamper him with sweet words. He might be young, but his parents taught him to be careful around other nobles. They had dozens of plans on how to overthrow or leech on the Arlingdon family.

However, a personal servant was different. They had no relations with other aristocratic families. Aster was certain that his new servant had no connection with other nobles. At least, when a slave was sold, they cut their contact with their previous master.

'Alright, half an hour before dawn.'

Aster checked the clock a few times to make sure that he had the perfect time to go to the garden. He woke up 2 hours earlier as he was anxious about meeting his new servant today. He peeked at the garden from the balcony, a silhouette was standing on the garden, seemingly lost in thought.

'Whoa, he is even earlier than I expected.'

'Should I go now?'

'But that'd make me look too eager right?'

Aster felt jittery as he looked at the mirror. He made sure that he didn't mess his hair. He combed some of his wavy hair strands. He had washed his face, thus, he had the best 'just woke-up' appearance right now.

When the sun started rising, Aster rushed his footsteps on the staircase. But before he stepped on the last stair, he abruptly stopped and took a deep breath. He needed to look cold and composed. He messed up yesterday when he didn't know what to do when he met his servant at the garden, he just blurted some words and smiled like an imbecile. He also messed up when he fell asleep.

This time, he'd make sure that his new servant would see him as a reliable and domineering master. So he'd accept his job as a personal servant not only because of contract, but also because Aster was a master worth following. After that, he could try to be closer with his new servant and then become a good friend. Aster had thought about his plan for the whole night, it should be executed well.

'Sir Douglass said so, I hope his teaching really works for now.'

Aster walked to the flower garden with his piercing eyes. He looked at his new servant who waited silently in the garden. Their gaze met, but none was trying to avert their eyes. When Aster drew closer, his new servant finally bowed and kneeled in front of him. Aster, still with his cold eyes, said nothing and stared at his new servant.

"This servant greeted Young Lord."

"You dared staring at me with equal eyes, I see," said Aster coldly.

"This--This Servant does not dare! It's just…"

'Eh, but I just wanted to praise you. You should be bold enough to stare at me as an equal, so we can be closer,' Aster was surprised at his heart, but did not show any emotion in his eye. He looked cold.

"This servant was just thinking that Young Lord is mesmerizing even though Young Lord had just woken up. This servant was-- astonished by Young Lord's appearance," said his new servant slowly.

Aster felt his heartbeat stopped for a second after that. He felt his face growing hot and turned around, "Such cheap flattery will not falter me. It is useless to induce me with sweet words."

"This servant is telling the truth, Young Lord."

Aster's heart started beating faster. He gulped to swallow his nervousness. He never got any praise from a servant or slave before. Thus, this effect was potent for him. He wanted to say thank you and smiled earnestly, but that'd make him lose his attitude as a Young Lord.

"Enough. Rather than throwing meaningless flattery, you should follow me," said Aster. He walked first and he heard his servant's footstep behind, quietly following him strolling around the garden.

They walked in silence until they were near the center of the garden. The sunrise showered the flowers with its shine, creating a golden shimmer on their petals. Aster looked at the flowers attentively. A smile rose in his lips, he crouched and caressed a white petunia.

"The garden is beautiful when the sun is rising. The flower shimmered with warm, golden colors and the warmth of the sun that I wanted to feel. If only the sun is not hurting," said Aster. He had always said this line whenever the sun was rising. Since no one would hear his voice, he unconsciously blurted it. He expected no answer, but then, a voice came from behind.

"I liked the golden shimmer scattered on your hair. You look delicate, Young Lord," his servant's unexpected reply sounded soft, but serious. Aster was astonished.

Aster immediately turned around, his face was beet red but he glared at his servant. He was embarrassed because he did momentarily forget about the presence of his new servant and blurted without any worry. But his servant's answer somehow made him feel even more ashamed.

"What did you say?" asked Aster, while he sounded calm, a seed of hostility planted within his words. Delicate, soft, beautiful, such unscrupulous words to bootlick, Aster felt nothing but disgust.

The dazed servant recovered his senses and got bewildered before kneeling. He trembled and stuttered before he was able to deliver a sentence, "P--Pardon this servant's idiocy. This servant was out of his mind, this servant deserves punishment!" said his servant. He trembled and his eyes nailed to the ground.

Aster was ashamed, indeed. But he wouldn't go as far as punishing his new servant, since he did not offend him in any means. At least, he knew his servant did not mean to bootlick as Aster saw his dazed expression before. He took a deep breath and said; "I will forgive you for your impudence."

"Thanking Young Lord."

"However, once again you dared to make such degrading comments about me," Aster held his breath, then lowered his voice, "I will return you to that slave merchant."

The new servant raised his head to stare at Aster's eyes, his eyes unfocused, mouth trembled as his body drooped. He gripped Aster's ankle. Aster could feel his servant's hand sweating terribly. He was startled because he didn't realize how frightening his threat was. Although, he had to admit that he never threatened a servant or worker unless they made a grievous mistake.

'Was I too harsh?'

The servant, still holding his ankle stammered; "T--This servant… this servant… pardon this slave… This lowly slave has offended Young Lord. I--This slave…"

Aster paled. He never wanted his servant to be frightened to the bone. Ultimately, he was just a Young Lord and his power was limited. Whether it was disbanding workers or returning slaves, the decision was still in his parents' hand. He hesitated as guilt rose up in his heart.

He wanted to apologize, but he never apologized to a slave before. He didn't know how to apologize properly to such status disparity. He waited momentarily until his servant's hand stopped trembling.

However, the silence made his servant even more worried as his head dropped even lower, planting his face on the stone pavement. Aster took a deep breath and said; "Get up, I will not return you to that merchant."

His new servant slowly loosened his grip and stood in front of him. He still lowered his head and his body still trembled.

"Thanking Young Lord's grace. This servant will not repeat one's impudence," he answered without stuttering, but he sounded hoarse.

Aster observed his new servant. The feeling of guilt swirled in his heart. He realized he was just throwing a childish tantrum. He urged to hold his servant's hand to calm his trembling, but that sounded crazy for him, as someone who almost never touched anyone but his family and very few nobles, touching a servant's hand sounded outrageous.

He decided to rub his servant's head. The servant's body stiffened, but gradually relaxed after a moment. The prickly hair tickled Aster's palm, but he ignored it and patted his servant's head a few times.

"I will not return you," said Aster.

'And sorry.'

Aster couldn't say his apology out loud, thus, he said it in silence. His servant nodded slowly.

"This servant is not educated, Young Lord," said his servant. "This lowly servant deserves punishment for one's offense."

Aster pondered a bit, he didn't want to punish his new servant. He was not wrong. He thought about a light punishment, but he still couldn't deliver it, because he was the one who threw a childish tantrum.

"Your punishment…" Aster sighed, "This impudence will be forgiven. As for now, you must see Anne and ask for a new set of apparel. You still wear yesterday's clothes."

"Young Lord, this servant's shirt is still clean. It will be expensive to change clothes everyday," said his servant meekly.

Aster chuckled, and then coldly said; "You're not allowed to use the same clothes everyday. You look filthy." He screened his servant's clothes then continued: "As Young Grand Duke, I do not lack money for such trivial things. I lacked tolerance to filth," He glanced at his servant who made a stupefied look, then turned his back. He walked away from the garden even though it was still early. Periodically, Aster hurried his steps to the east tower until he climbed the stairs in a rush.

He went to the balcony in his room, and then peeked at the man standing in the east garden. The servant, still stupefied, hadn't moved an inch from his original position.

Aster wondered if his last line made his servant astonished by his virtue. He indirectly told his servant that he could live comfortably without ever worrying about money, as his new master was the only son of Grand Duchy of Stormhill. He also indirectly told him that he was no filth, since he let his servant accompany him to the garden. That should be enough, right?

However, Aster felt inescapably restless. He did threaten his servant, but he didn't know the effect would be potent. He'd be lying if he didn't feel guilty, since he intended to leave a good impression to his new servant. What he said was merely an impulse.

"Why did he say that?"

Aster never liked those bootlickers, they fawned over him or his parents to gain favour, and in the end, and all they wanted was more benefit to their own household. Thus, when his servant said the same thing to him, he instantly blurted that threat out of fleeting annoyance. Although, when Aster saw his servant's dazed expression, he realized that he didn't fawn him intentionally.

'Why is he dazed anyway, am I too boring?'

Aster's shoulder dropped as he left the balcony and closed the balcony door.