Gacha Gacha Hero

“Listen to me Officer…!?” Jack squirted his eyes at the Guardsman sitting across the desk from him and tried to read his name plate.

“Soppurt. Desk Officer Soppurt.” The older man filled in the blank for him. Desk Officer Soppurt was in his mid fifties. He had sharp cheekbones and weathered skin. His long silver grey hair was clipped in a ponytail that he casually draped around his neck. He wore two golden rings on the middle and ring fingers of his right hand. Three identical rings decorated his ponytail. One last ring was pierced through the helix of his left ear. The Officer held a notepad loosely in one hand.

Soppurt cleared his throat. “You were trying to tell me that the young man you were brought in with was…?”

“A wanted criminal. He’s on the run from the Capital. For… Capital, crimes.” Jack said.

“The Capital crime of… summoning monsters?”

“A demon actually.”

Soppurt chewed his lip. “So he summoned a demon.”

Jack frowned. “No. But he aided someone who did.”

Soppurt looked at his notepad. “And this is the other boy. The one that saved your life?”

“Yes.” said Jack.

“And where did he go?”

“I don’t know. Ash distracted me.” said Jack.

Soppurt leaned back in his chair. He waited.

“It’s all true. I brought you the wanted poster.” Jack pointed at the sheet of paper with Ash’s face on it that was sitting on the table.

“Right.” Soppurt picked up the poster. “A wanted poster, from another town, without the Mayor’s seal on it. And without an official listed crime.”

“My fath- The Mayor was busy. He didn’t have time to authorize the poster.” Jack stood up. He paced back and forth. “Look, get in contact with the Guard Capten that was assigned to the mission. Send him a squirrel. He can tell you everything.”

“And this Guard Capten’s name was?”

Jack chewed the air for a second. “He was… his name was… he smoked a lot?”

“Any distinguishing features?” asked Soppurt.

“... he had, a helmet and… Just contact the Capital. Or the Councilor! He can tell you.” Jack exerted.

Soppurt folded his notepad up. “I’m going to be honest with you. This sounds like a lot of paperwork. And I did not take a job in the fanciest city in the Kingdom to do, paperwork.” The P on Paperwork really *Popped* coming out of Soppurt’s mouth.

Jack *Slammed* a hand on the desk. “I’m telling you he is not to be trusted. He is a menace!”

“Actually my boys said that you were fighting with him when they found you.” said Soppurt.

“I was, trying to detain him, until the Guards arrived.”

“Listen, you seem like a nice kid but I think that you and your friend need some help with whatever is going on between you. Some help acting like adults. I tell you what. We have a nice little room here. You can sit inside it for a little while. Wait until you both cool off a bit and feel like apologizing.”

“I don’t have time to sit around and wait.” said Jack.

“That’s the best part. This room has bars on it. So you don’t have any choice but to sit around and wait.” said Soppurt.

“Wait? Are you saying? You can’t be serious. I am not a criminal.”

“And I am not arresting you. Only encouraging you to cool off in a nice private room with no distractions.” Officer Soppurt stood up. He rested his hand on a tonfa that was holstered in a metal ring on his belt.

Jack adjusted his collar. He stood up straight. He pulled his shoulders back. “I will have you know that I am the future Mayor of Star Town. I demand that you send a message to my father at the Ocean’s Bounty. He will confirm everything I’ve told you already.”

Soppurt slowly nodded his head. “Yeah… but, paperwork…”

#

“This is all your fault Ash!” Jack shouted from the other end of the corridor.

The corridor had three holding cells in it. Each of the cells was placed side by side to the next one. Several minutes ago Ash had been put in the first cell. Then he had watched in amazement as Jack was marched down the corridor and put in the last cell at the end.

The Desk Officer walked back past Ash’s cell.

“Does this mean that I’m being released?” asked Ash.

“You’re all getting released.” Soppurt gave a dry grin. “Eventually.”

He walked back to his desk in the front room of the Guard Post.

Ash called out. “Jack! What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything. This is all your fault!” Jack shouted back.

“My fault? What are you talking about? You’re the one that jammed half a crepe down your throat and then called the Guards.” said Ash.

“Stop bothering me! I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to see you. I don’t want to have anything to do with you!” said Jack.

Ash stepped away from the bars of his cell. “Well that’s just too bad.”

Ash clenched his fists and summoned.

#

“Officer. Officer! Please come quickly. I need to be let out of the cell!” Ash yelled.

Soppurt *Groooaned*. He walked down the corridor to Ash’s cell. “Look kid you better be dead or dying because I am not-”

The Desk Officer froze in place.

Ash stood in the middle of the cell. All around him, on every wall, the floor, and the ceiling, every surface was covered with thousands of midges. The plentiful flies formed a great buzzing cloud that bounced off the walls of the cell. Ash lifted his shirt up over his mouth and nose.

Soppurt covered his mouth with a hand. “By the dark eye! Where did all of these bugs come from?”

“They were here when I was put in the cell.” Ash replied.

“No they weren’t!”

“Well I don’t know what to tell you. But if you’re not going to let me out then I request to be moved to a different cell. This is clearly unhygienic.” said Ash from inside the cloud of flies.

“This is… alright fine.” Soppurt unlocked the door and pulled Ash out. He marched him one space over and pushed Ash into the middle cell.

“Can’t we go one more over?” Ash asked.

“Not my problem.” Soppurt said. “Make friends with your new cellmate.”

Ash turned around.

Vance was lounging on a bench in the corner. “Hello.” He waved a hand.

“Vance right? What are you in for?” Ash asked.

Vance tilted his head back. “Only for exercising my right of free public speech.”

The Desk Officer crossed his arms. “You and that young man from the Gambling Hall got into a shouting match in front of one of the fanciest hotels in town.”

“Officer, how could you arrest me for engaging in spirited conversation?” asked Vance.

“You called him a soul sucking, greased up, rectum puckering, boot licker.” said Soppurt.

“Since when is telling the truth a crime?”

“You insulted the man’s mother for a full fifteen minutes using only the most vile language imaginable.” Soppurt continued.

“Wonderful woman, never met her of course.” Vance brushed some lint off of his coat.

“A sailor in the audience fainted. Three tourists hyperventilated. A nearby horse developed an anxiety disorder.” Soppurt ticked off the events on his fingers.

“Can you blame them for listening to the greatest orator our town has ever known.” Vance pinched his own chin. “If anything Bede should be here with me.”

“The Scion pays to keep himself out of the Guard’s eye. Maybe that’s a lesson you should learn.” Soppurt turned and walked away.

Vance jumped up and grabbed the bars of the cell. “I won’t pay for a privilege that should be extended to me without request. Do you hear me!?”

Soppurt strolled away without concern.

Vance leaned his back against the bars. He looked at Ash. “You’re a waiter aren’t you?”

“You were my first and only customer, but yes.” Ash said.

“Do you have any food on you?” Vance’s stomach *Rumbled*. “I’ve been here since this morning and I don’t think Officer Soppurt will let us out until after lunch.”

“Oh don’t worry, we won't be in this cell for much longer.” Ash reached out his arms and prepared to summon again.

#

“Officer. Officer! Please come quickly. We need to be let out of the cell!” Ash yelled.

The Desk Officer pinched the bridge of his nose. “I am not even joking this time. If I have to-”

Soppurt stopped in his tracks in front of the middle cell. “By the curse of the dark eye! How did even more flies get in here?” he yelled.

Thousands of slightly larger winged insects covered the walls and ceiling. Vance stood in shock as dozens of bugs crawled over his arms and shoulders.

Ash gently batted some of the insects away from his face as he talked. “Actually these are dragonflies. You can tell because they have multiple wings that don’t curl over their abdomen. Dragonflies are also predatory. They eat other smaller anthropods. I can guarantee you that if you get us out of this cell your problem with these two groups of insects will resolve itself.” Ash put on an expectant smile.

Soppurt raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t have anything to do with this did you?”

Ash held up his hands. “Sir, I am just as surprised as you to find out that this many insects can fit into this small of a space.”

#

“How do you keep doing this? You’re always finding new ways to annoy me!” Jack paced back and forth in the last cell.

Ash stood with his back to the bars. Vance sat on a bench picking dragonflies out of his pockets.

“I’m annoying you? You declared that I was a wanted criminal!” Ash spouted.

“Well it didn’t take so you can’t hold that against me.” Jack said.

Ash clenched his fists. “Listen Jack. I’m trying to be reasonable. I'm trying to help.”

“So am I.” Jack stomped.

“You’re only trying to help yourself.”

“So are you!” Jack pointed at Ash.

Ash put a hand to his chest. ““I’m trying to save the Kingdom.”

“What? Do you think that you’re some kind of hero now?” Jack chuckled.

“I could be a hero if I wanted to be.” Ash said.

“You’re acting delusional. You’ve never done anything if it didn’t benefit you in some way.”

“Like you’re one to talk about benefits. You're trying to take advantage of an office you haven't even been elected to yet.”

“I’m at least trying to help Star Town. I’m being responsible!”

Ash summoned a half dozen potatoes. As they manifested he grabbed them in mid air and threw them at Jack.

“Then why *Pap* do you keep *Splat* trying to get me *Piff* arrested!” yelled Ash.

Jack caught one of the potatoes and *Squished* it in his hand. “That’s it!”

Jack lunged forward and grabbed Ash’s sleeve. Ash slid down into a crouch. Jack pitched over and slammed into the bars of the cell. Ash seized Jack’s knee and pulled the boy’s leg out from underneath him. As Jack fell he caught Ash’s shirt and dragged the two of them to the ground. The two boys started to wrestle again.

Vance watched them. “That’s right. Fight!”

*Fight*

*Fight*

*Fight*

After a full minute the two of them were panting hard. Ash had his arm around Jack’s neck. Jack had one of Ash’s legs in a lock and was pinning him to the floor.

“Gah… truce?” Ash wheezed.

“Grr… truce.” Jack agreed.

The two boys rolled off of each other and shuffled to opposite sides of the cell.

Ash took a deep breath. “They used him Jack. They took Luke to the Capital and made him do whatever they wanted. They used him and when he ran away to get help they sent guards to arrest him.”

Jack closed his eyes. “That, that’s not what we were told. The Council wouldn’t do that. Luke must have made a mistake. He must be lying about what happened.”

“Luke? Lying? Now who is acting delusional.” said Ash.

A loose potato rolled into Ash’s foot. A dragonfly landed on it. The air was filled with the sound of buzzing insects.

Jack opened his eyes and looked at the ceiling. “Why didn’t you ask me for help?”

“What do you mean?” Ash asked.

“When Luke came back to Star Town. Why did you come to me for help?”

“Maybe because you made posters calling me a criminal?” Ash snarked.

Jack looked down at him. “Yeah. But you didn’t know that at the time. Luke is my friend too. I would have helped him.”

Ash looked off to the side.

Jack slouched over. He hung his head between his knees. “I suppose it doesn’t matter now.”

Vance hopped down off the bench and crouched next to Ash. “He’s right, you know. No need to dwell on old childhood rivalries. Not when there’s plenty of revenge to be had in the present.”

“Huh?” Ash looked at Vance.

“These bugs of yours.” Vance held up a dragonfly. “Can you summon these anytime?”

“It’s not always insects, but kinda, yes.” said Ash.

“Interesting. And if I told you I was planning a heist on the largest gambling hall in town, the Ocean’s Bounty, and I could use a man of your talents, how would you react?” Vance tilted his head.

“Hey Jack want to help us rob the gambling house.” Ash called across the cell.

“Officer. Officer! They’re plotting a robbery in here!” Jack groaned.

“Relax Jack. We’re already in jail. We might as well become criminals to justify it.” said Ash.

“I’m not going to become a criminal, I'm going to become Mayor!” Jack straightened his collar. “That’s even better. I could use someone with your political connections.” said Vance.

Jack checked the buttons on his shirt. “Ted will get me out of here. Any minute now.”