Gacha Gacha Hero

“Ave! There you are.”

Two long athletic arms draped themselves over Ave’s shoulders. Ave *Grunted* with annoyance.

A young woman a head and a half taller than Ave pulled her in close and embraced her from behind.

“Where have you been my little hummingbird?” The taller woman rested her cheek on the top of Ave’s head.

“I was… busy.” Ave sighed.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

“Really Platina? You were looking?”

“Well, I sent other people to look for you.” Platina rolled her eyes.

“You know how that goes Platina.”

“That’s true. Still, it’s so good to see you.” Platina kissed the top of Ave’s head. “Did you decide to take a vacation or something?”

“Something like that.”

“How surprising. I’ve never known you to go on vacation. I’ve never known you to take a day off. I’ve never known you to do anything of your own volition at all.”

“If it’s any consolation it’s not going very well.” Ave mumbled.

Platina released her embrace and held the smaller woman at arm’s length. “What are you doing here? I thought you were stationed in the Capital?”

Platina was tall and athletic. Her shirt sleeves were rolled up to expose her toned arms. Instead of pants she wore a (Non-Regulation) pleated skirt with gym shorts and a pair of (Non-Regulation) open-toed sandals that laced all the way up to her calves. Her clothing was spotlessly clean. Even in the darkness of the hallway her breastplate and badge glittered in the light. Platina’s ears didn’t have curves. They were flat along the edges with 111 degree angles that gave the illusion of roundness at a distance. There were small pinch marks just next to the bridge of her nose.

Platina finally noticed the Petty Officers. “Who are these two? Are they yours?” She grinned. “Have you finally decided to take your Capten’s (sic) exam.” She suddenly hugged Ave again. “Oh I’m so happy. We’ll finally be senior officers at the same time. We’ll climb the ranks together. No one will be able to stop us.” Platina’s grin exposed her canines.

Ave shoved the taller woman away. “No they’re not mine. I don’t know them. I was only passing through while I was… scouting the area.”

“For the Councilor?”

“Yes.” Ave spoke crisply.

“Commander!” The Blonde Petty Officer barked. “That soldier is defying regulations.”

“Hmmm?” Platina glanced over at them.

The Chestnut Petty Officer shook her head and tried to discreetly get her friend’s attention.

“She’s out of uniform.” said the Blonde Petty Officer. She half hid a smirk. “I believe that warrants being disciplined by a superior officer.”

The Chestnut Petty Officer tried to fade into the background.

“You’re right of course. Rules and regulations are the blood and bones of the army. And I do so love enforcing discipline.” Platina’s teeth snapped down on the final word.

The Blonde Petty Officer beamed. “That’s right Commander. You should deal with this matter immediately.”

Platina looked back at Ave. “Hmmm. She’s correct. This is a problem. We can’t have you walking around the barracks looking like that. We need to fix this, immediately.” Platina turned back to the two Petty Officers. “You two. I’m going to need your boots, and your pants.”

#

The two Petty Officers rushed down the hallway wearing only their short clothes. One held a pile of dirty laundry. The other had a set of leftover boots in her arms.

Platina called after them. “You two had better hurry. I think the laundry is closing soon.” She smiled.

Ave pulled the (Regulation) boot onto her foot. She stomped her heel a few times. “A loose fit, but comfortable enough.” she said.

Platina crossed her arms and put her chin in her hand. “I’m so jealous Ave. Everything fits you.”

“Thanks for your help Platina.” said Ave.

“Don’t mention it. Although it is odd…” Platina tapped a finger on her bicep. “Normally people don’t pay any attention to you no matter what you’re wearing.”

Ave paused for half a second, then finished lacing up her boots.

Platina threw an arm around Ave’s shoulder. “Anyway, come on! I want to show you all the cool new toys I brought along for this mission.”

#

“This here is an armored carriage.” said Platina.

Platina and Ave strolled through an underground depot. The huge domed roof was braced with steel beams. Guards in their breastplates and uniforms along with Porters wearing sequined pants were unloading a line of wagons in the center of the depot. Large metal shutters could be used to divide the depot area into smaller sections.

Platina stopped next to a vehicle shaped object that was covered with iron plates.

“This baby can deflect so many projectiles.” She slapped a hand down on the metal exterior. *Clang*

“Arrows, bolts, darts, really big rocks, everything just bounces off these armored plates. It’s completely invulnerable.”

“What are those things on the bottom?” Ave asked.

“Treads. Normal wagon wheels can’t take the weight. Not even metal reinforced ones. So one of the Capital Lock-jocks came up with this idea. It spreads the weight out over these little bitty plates so that the wheels don’t sink into the dirt.”

“Clever.”

Platina *Groaned* “Yeah. But the whole thing’s as heavy as a constipated cow pat. Can’t power it with a regular gas engine. It has to use a steam engine and those things take forever to warm up. I really want to drive it but right now it’s assigned to logistics.” *Blegh*

Platina straightened up. “Speaking of logistics.” She slammed her fist down on the side of the carriage.

*Clang*

A Dour Auxiliary slid out from between the spoked wheels of the armored battle wagon. He was shaped like a puzzle piece. The dark bags under his eyes were the same color as the oil that stained his uniform.

“You clanged commander?” He said to Platina.

“Nevre why are the carriages parked this way? They’re an absolute mess. They’re covered with dirt and grease.” Platina tapped a sandal impatiently.

“We haven’t had time to put them away. The troops are still trying to bivouac.” Nevre replied.

“What about those carriages over there?” Platina pointed. “Look at them. All lined up in a nice neat row. Spotlessly clean and well maintained. You had time for that didn’t you?”

“Those aren't ours.”

“What?”

“They belong to the private security of the Gambling Hall. We’re sharing the motor pool with them. All of these dirty ones are ours.”

“Private security.” Platina shook her fist.

“I’ll get everything cleaned up commander.” The Dour Auxiliary gave a quick salute and scuttled back under the chassis.

“It doesn’t matter. We Capital Guards have more toys then they could dream of. Check this out.” Platina quickly swung her arm to the side. She pointed at a nearby platform.

A metal cylinder the size of a wine barrel was propped up on three triangular legs. Two handles were mounted on one end of the cylinder. The other end had a cross shaped hole in it.

Platina jumped up on the platform next to the cylinder. She grabbed the handles. “Pretty great huh?”

Ave tilted her head. “It’s a… uh?”

“You’re confused. I know. This should help you.” Platina reached over the side of the platform. She grabbed what looked like an oversized metal spear with a cross shaped shaft. With a quick shove she jammed the harpoon into the slot in the end of the cylinder.

“Nice huh?” Platina flexed the handles of the harpoon launcher. “They use these things for hunting leviathans out on the ocean. Can you imagine what kind of damage this thing could do?”

Platina swung the harpoon launcher left and right.

*Pew*Pew*Pew Pew Pew*

Ave watched her placidly. “What are you going to do with it?”

“I dunno. Use it to scare birds or something. I’ll think of something. It’s too heavy to mount on anything besides a boat. It takes forever to load and aim. Virtually useless in actual combat.” Platina hopped down off the platform.

“Where did you even get all of this stuff?”

“I just asked the Quartermasters for it and they gave it to me.”

“That’s it?”

“Oh yeah. It’s half the reason why I took this mission. When you tell the Actuaries that you’re escorting a Councilor they piss themselves, drop their pants, and empty their pockets. Not always in that order. You can get whatever you want. I requisitioned some of this stuff just to see what I could get away with.”

Platina threw an arm around Ave’s shoulder. “And you know, if you became a Capten (sic) you could have this kind of power too.” She poked Ave in the cheek with her finger.

“Knock it off. I’m not interested in that kind of responsibility.”

“And you took the position of Councilor adjutant because you hate politics. Sure, sure, sure. Your lips say no, but your impatient blood says yes.”

Ave scanned the room. “Speaking of the Councilor, where is he staying while he’s-”

She spotted the Councilor on the other side of the room. He was getting into an elevator.

Platina whispered in her ear.

“Platina. Platina! I’ve got to go.” Ave struggled in the taller woman’s grasp.

“Fine. Go on then.” She let go.

Ave sprinted across the room to the elevator.

“I’ll catch you later Ave.” Platina *Whistled* to herself and walked back towards the barracks.

#

Ave ran across the depot at a steady pace. When she was three meters from the elevator she halted, shifted gears, and adopted a more measured march of mediocre momentum.

Councilor A stepped into the elevator. There were two large muscular men waiting inside and holding the gates open for him. Each of them wore an identical blue black suit with golden seashell cufflinks. Metal batons peeked out from under the edge of their jackets.

Without breaking stride Ave stepped into the elevator next to the Councilor. She didn’t make eye contact with anyone. She kept her back straight. Her breathing was calm. Only the faintest hint of sweat coated her forehead. She assumed a casual parade rest stance.

The Councilor looked at his watch. *Sniff* He was holding a metal case in his other hand. *Lip Smack* He stretched his arm. “Well?” He asked the nearest Bouncer. “What are you waiting for? Let’s go already.”

The Bouncer’s mouth opened.

“...” he said.

He shook his head and minded his own business.

The two Bouncers shut the elevator’s gate. One of them lowered a switch on the wall. The elevator began to rise.

*Ding*

*Ding*

*Ding*

A bell sounded as they rose higher into the shaft. Ave watched the walls of the shaft pass by as they ascended. They passed by several other floors in the structure.

*Ding*

The elevator stopped and the Bouncer raised the lever with a satisfying *Click*.

The two Bouncers opened the gates. The elevator was stopped on the side of a marble floored ballroom. Carved columns and golden fountains decorated the edges of the room. A diamond encrusted chandelier hung on a chain from the ceiling. The floor of the ballroom was filled with long banquet tables piled high with food. Dozens of dazzlingly beautiful Servers with plunging necklines and low cut pants waited in the wings with serving trays.

“There you are. Welcome Councilor, to the Ocean’s Bounty.”

Lady House was seated on a divan in the center of the room. She was wearing a stunningly white evening dress embroidered with sapphires. As she reclined on the divan she stroked an enormous grey cat the size of a trashcan lid.

“Mistress House. It is so good to see you again.” said Councilor A.

“Please, you may call me your Ladyship.”

“And you can call me Mr Dumbwaiter, after I was elevated to meet you.” The Councilor smiled.

“Ah ha ha.” Lady House politely laughed.

Councilor A *Chuckled* to himself. He stepped out of the elevator. Ave stepped out behind him and kept pace.

Lady House moved to stand up. She let out a small grunt, then looked down at the cat on her lap. She discreetly tried to move it, then grunted again.

*Ahem* She coughed.

The cat lazily opened one eyelid. Lady House made stern eye contact with it. The cat let out a low purr, then rolled like a bundle of sackcloth to an empty space on the divan.

Lady house stood up. She walked over to Councilor A and shook his hand.

“Councilor, I’m so glad that you could attend our event.” she said.

“I’m glad to be here. Your banner events are one of the most profitable attractions in the entire Kingdom.” said the Councilor.

“That’s wonderful to hear. Did you have any questions?”

“Only one.”

“What’s that?”

“Do you think it would be possible to apply these types of limited time events to the entire kingdom?” Councilor A raised an eyebrow.

Lady House touched one of her pinky fingers to her chin. “To the entire kingdom? It’s possible. But you must realize that scarcity is part of the appeal.”

“Scarcity?”

“That’s right. Making our contests limited time events heightens the excitement that they produce. In a world where anyone can have anything at any time, you have to make your players believe that the things they’re getting are scarce. Rare. Special.”

“Is that right? Don’t worry about that. I don’t want to say too much but I think…” *Whisper* *Wink*

“I see. Why don’t we discuss this more over dinner.” Lady House waved at the banquet tables. Then her head rotated smoothly until she was staring directly at Ave. “And will your attendant be joining us?”

Ave curled her hands into fists, but remained standing still.

“Huh?” Councilor A turned around. His eyes slowly focused on Ave. “Oh uh, no, I don’t think she needs to be here. Here, take this.” He shoved the case he was holding into her arms. “Make sure that this gets put in the Gambling Hall’s safe deposit.”

Councilor A turned back around. The rest of the room went back to ignoring Ave’s presence.

Ave bowed at the waist. She clutched the case in one hand and slowly backed out of the chamber. Of everyone in the entire room only two sets of eyes saw her leave.