Fork This Life!

Chapter 14: Finally, a useful ability. Fork no longer?

(POV Ferdinand)

I watch as Richard looks through the eyeglass at the ship on the horizon. As he drops it in shock, turns and roars at his crew to pursue it. He turns to me, almost as an afterthought, and apologises.

“I’m sorry this happened while you are on board, lad. But it’s likely there’s going to be a fight in a bit. Best if you stay below decks for a while.”

I stand rooted in place for a second, then slowly turn to walk to my bunk in the ship. This was just a normal fishing trip a minute ago, why did it have to turn into a battle again?

I look out from one of the thick windows in the hull as we drift over the waves, going far faster than we had been before. The ship on horizon increases in size as we move towards it, every wave our ship crests bringing us one step closer to combat.

‘So, why are we heading towards another ship? I thought this was a fishing trip?’

Gerald’s voice pops into my mind suddenly, his light-hearted voice only worsening my grim mood.

‘I don’t know’ I say sadly, ‘but it looks like we’ll be fighting it. Or rather, the others will.’

‘Oh.’ He said, then says nothing for a short while, making me wonder if he is still there. Then his voice comes back, and it is considerably more serious.

‘You might want to know that many of the things on that ship aren’t humanoids, then?’

‘They aren’t human…oids?’

‘They don’t look anything like a human. Lots of things with more than two arms or legs, or both. A few blobs, a few tiny things… And that’s not even counting all the tails and horns I’m seeing here. Heck, there’s only one thing on that ship that looks normal.’

If that’s the case… ‘If that’s the case, Richard needs to know immediately!’

I get up from the window, quickly moving towards the stairs to the deck. Gerald’s voice comes again as I go.

‘Woah there, how are you going to explain knowing this?’

He has a point, but I can’t just not warn a friend about something like this. I struggle for a moment to think up a suitable solution, then realise that I don’t have to.

‘If they all die because they don’t know this, we will die along with them. What point would caution have then?’

‘You’re right, but stop anyway. I’ll tell him with telepathy. That way, at least, he won’t know where to start looking.’

It’s a reasonable suggestion, and besides. Gerald knows more than I could tell them. He speaks again.

‘He’s the one at the steering wheel, right?’

‘Right.’ I think back.

Then he is gone again, leaving me to wonder what I should do now. I go back to the window, peering through it at the approaching ship. It’s close enough now that I can see the sails and rigging.

Strangely, I can’t see any figures moving about. It’s as if it’s a ghost ship.

I shiver at the thought. That wasn’t one of those jinxes, was it?

‘Alright, I’m done. He was surprisingly talkative, for someone so angry.’ Gerald’s voice comes out of nowhere again. I’ll never get used to that.

‘Angry?’ I think in reply. Why would he be angry?

‘Yeah, angry. Not at me, but I could feel it from him as he talked. He was incredibly angry… and even more sad. You have any idea why that would be?’

How strange. I thought this is just some pirate ship, but now it looks like it might be something else.

‘No, he was perfectly fine before that ship showed up. I’ve no clue why he would be like that.’

Distracted, I look out the window. And see the first cannonball come speeding towards me.

(POV Gerald)

Now, first thing I should mention…

This ship is forking awesome. Whatever it’s made of, it has a LOT of mana in it. Not only that, there are some badass spell formations all over the hull. How do I know that they’re spell formations?

I dunno, they’re magic and they’re circles and have all this neat cursive script n’ stuff. Not much else they could be.

Then that cannonball sped towards Ferdinand. I must admit, I freaked out a bit there. I could protect myself from that, but anybody else is way outside my abilities.

So, I was pretty darn glad when the ball just bounced off the window. I think Ferdinand almost fainted. Don’t blame him, we both thought he was dead meat there.

And honestly, there was pretty much nadda I could contribute to this combat besides that bit of info I gave the captain of the ship.

Which suuuucks!

I really need to get some long-range attacks. Like, y’know, some magic. Or perhaps some magic. Magic might be nice too.

Just give me magic already, will ya?

Looks like combat has broken out now. I mean, duh, cannons have been fired already.

But now people are jumping from deck to deck, whacking each other with their weapons – which I can actually see this time. Yay.

Must be made of mithril or something.

Still, at the speeds they are going, I can’t even see their fights. Perhaps I should distribute a few more points into dexterity?

Eh, another level is still a bit off.

I enjoyed what little I could see, however. In fact, I was so engrossed that I barely noticed Ferdinand wandering up the stairs.

“Are you suicidal?” I ask him.

“What? No.” He sounds confused.

“Then why are you wandering into a battlefield that’s probably entirely populated with people that are at higher levels than you?” I ask.

“The battle is finished, right?” Now he sounds even more confused, which makes me confused.

“No, everyone’s still fighting.”

“I can’t hear anything, or see anything out the window.” He says uncertainly.

I sigh internally. “And I can see everything. They’re still fighting.”

Talking about fighting…

“You should get away from the stairs. Like, now.”

He’s confused, but he backs up quick enough. Something is dripping down the stairs, falling into a puddle below them.

Now, normally I would think this is just blood or water, but that stuff doesn’t have this concentration of mana.

Also, they don’t stick together like some sort of slime.

Apparently, Ferdinand here still hasn’t noticed anything, so I tell him that there’s an enemy a few meters in front of him. That makes him get out his weapon real fast.

“It’s some sort of slime, a sword isn’t going to cut it. Literally.” I tell him, unintentionally making a pun half-way through.

“All right, I’ll try throwing you at it again then…”

Now he’s getting it!

The puddle below the stairs wobbles and draws itself up into a vaguely human shape, walking through the stairs as if they aren’t even there.

Then Ferdinand hurls me right at its head.

Nice shot, man.

Sadly, the slime just reforms its head to leave a massive gap in my path of travel.

Crap.

I land on the floor boards behind it, and it starts walking towards Ferdinand. I suppose he’s currently trying to slash at it, but it just keeps changing its shape, the blade completely unable to touch it. I think.

Meanwhile, here I am on the floor, trying to get a hang of moving around with ki blasts. Even a small amount of ki, say 5, can make me move around a small amount.

I try increasing my next attempt by a small amount.

All of a sudden, I’m speeding towards the slime, sinking slowly into its head. I can feel the strange, viscous substance that its body is made up of moulding around me, exerting a light pressure. This is weird.

I must have really surprised the thing, because it takes a second before it starts trying to dissolve me. Being mithril, I’m quite resistant against acid, but it’s still doing some damage.

Then, I flip on absorb, and the thing’s head disappears.

Y’know, I only remembered recently, but my absorb skill’s range scales with INT and WIS. As it is right now, my range is sitting at a neat 19 and a half centimetres. What this meant is that, provided I am in the center of it, I can absorb a whole basketball in one go.

Not that I will ever do that.

But now that I’m in mid-air, good ol’ gravity comes along to help me out, and I start falling.

As I fall, I continue absorbing the gelatinous… stuff that the body of this peculiar creature is composed of. When nearing the floor, I hurriedly retract the absorption skill from below me.

I don’t want to leave some strange hole in the ship.

When I hit the deck, I can just imagine the light ‘clink’ sound I’m making, and the expression on Ferdinand’s face.

There is a bit of goo splattered around the floor, remnants outside my range of absorption. But it’s definitely dead.

And… Holy crap. I got something awesome. Wait, multiple awesomes!

LVL 34 Mimic slime killed

Experience gained: 252.5

Fluid of LVL 34 Mimic slime absorbed

Experience gained: 5050

Durability recovered: 0.31 (Exceeds maximum durability, reducing to 0)

Skill proficiency increased: Absorb 0.21%, Mana sight 62.38% (Exceeds 100%, reduced to 43.29%)

Skills gained: Mana sight (Expert), form manipulation - Self (Basic)

Traits gained: None

Level up! You are now level 29

4 Stat points gained

Well stick me in cereal and call me a spoon, I think it’s my lucky day.

Finally, through the use of form manipulation – self, I can transform myself into the true master race of cutlery – a spork.

HAHAHAha…ha…

Maybe not. But perhaps even more useful is the upgrade to mana sight. 3. 2. 1.

The world explodes into HD.

Now that’s what I’m talking about! It’s no substitute for true colour vision, but I can now see with approximately the vision of someone who is completely colour blind.

Can a person be completely colour blind? Eh, you know what I mean.

That being said, I can finally look at people’s faces. A whole heap of other things too, but faces are important. So, I take a glance over at Ferdinand, who is currently looking at me with eyes and mouth open wide.

Hey… is it just me, or is he actually… I know this may sound weird, being a genderless sentient fork who sexually identifies as a straight male, but I think he may be reasonably… handsome?

Eh, since when have I cared about other people’s looks anyway.

Another thing I notice is that I can now see tiny specks of mana drifting around in the air. I can see individual drops of water, the grain of wood… and hey, I can see Ferdinand’s sword now.

Oh, how I missed this clarity.

More importantly, with these four stat points, my WIS and INT are sitting at a nice even 45. Sweet.

Now, details of these skills, you say? Don’t mind if I do.

Mana sight (Expert) (Low Unique, Passive/toggled) 0.00% - You are capable of seeing smaller congregations of mana than before within (Intelligence*Wisdom)/1.75m. Their forms are now distinct. You can now differentiate mana by type.

Let me see here… 1.12km. Okay then.

Feeling a bit overwhelmed at that number, I just open up the next one.

Form manipulation – Self (Basic) (High Rare, Active) 0.00% - Through the use of mana, you can manipulate your own form at will, albeit slowly and roughly. Cannot change density or mass. Costs 5 mana/second while changing form, costs 10 mana/minute while in a form not your original.

WARNING! Do not use this ability if you are of a race with aspects that could result in death if you were to change them E.G. internal organs, mana pathways, et cetera.

Yeah, let me just manipulate my brain to make it bigger – How stupid do you think I am!?

I don’t have a brain, though.

Let’s take this baby for a test drive, shall we?

Activating the skill, I strive to mould myself into my desired form.

It’s unlike anything I have ever felt before – but just the sensation of being able to just move something after so long gives me an inexplicable sense of bliss.

It isn’t like stretching an arm or a leg, and I can’t exactly feel it, per se. No, it’s more like my existence itself is stretching. Like, if you close your eyes and put your hand near your face, you can still tell how far away it is. That, is stretching, and boy does it feel strange.

I only have three good minutes of this in me, so I try to hurry it up.

It isn’t very successful. It feels as if I’m moving treacle – it’s moving, but it’s not fast. Still, treacle speed is better than solid metal speed. And eventually, I transfork into… a slightly misshapen knife with a thin blade.

There isn’t much of me, after all. Underweight is an understatement. Not much I can change into. Still, just looking at this ability is enough to kick my imagination into hyperdrive.

But things like that are best left for later. At the current consumption of this skill, coupled with my regeneration, I’m losing 1 mana a minute. With the 300-odd mana I lost just there, that gives me 10 hours.

I think that should suffice for a battle or two.

(POV Richard)

My harpoon embeds itself into the black heart of another demon, its infernal wail cut short as it starts coughing blood.

The coughs shortly turns to mad laughter as it grabs the length of my harpoon, pulling itself closer to me as its red eyes glow with rage.

“You think I didn’t know you had two hearts, foul one?” I say, one hand dropping to my waist and retrieving the knife I keep there, before stabbing it up into the other side of its chest.

It draws one final pained breath, uttering its last words. “I… Curse… you…”

Black blood streamed from the deep wounds upon its body, writhing towards me and imprinting evil patterns on my skin. I feel my strength and stamina being sapped away… before it returns in a surge.

A golden ring on my hand glints slightly as I fall through the air towards the deck of the enemy ship. I knew buying this ring of weak curse immunity would pay off one day!

…But I never expected it to be here. Demons and monsters, this close to human lands? Are those young fools slacking off on the patrols again? Bloody idiots. Don’t they know that even if there hasn’t been an incident in a decade, it doesn’t mean there won’t be one tomorrow!

Landing heavily on the deck, the boards break beneath my feet, for the second time this battle. There was one enemy that managed to slip through to our ship, so I went back, but it was already taken care of before I got there. So I came straight back, nailing a passing demon as I went.

Half a dozen enemies surround me, already closing in and swinging weapons. Before they can get close to me, I lift my head to the sky and let loose a roar that blasts across the battlefield, even causing the surface of the water to churn. It sounds as if the waves and beasts of the sea themselves are roaring with me.

Voice of the Ocean!

Fighting spirit + 10

Demon and monster alike are sent stumbling back – and those are just the ones at the opposite end of this ship. The ones near me have collapsed with ears leaking blood, if they have them.

Meanwhile, my men have received a boost in fighting spirit and strength for a short time.

With ease, I dispatch those around me, and stride off deeper into the ship.

Who dares use the face of my son? WHO DARES BLASPHEME HIS MEMORY?

Fighting spirit + 20

That bastard had fled below decks as soon as combat started, and nobody had seen him since. I’m about to make sure nobody sees him ever again.

Striding through the corridors, I feel for the locations of enemies below me.

Rarely am I so enraged that I can use this skill, sense hostiles. It allows me to feel the position of anything that wishes me, or those in a party with me, harm within 100 metres.

I use it to find him. He’s the only enemy left below decks now. This position should be… the hold.

With the amount of ships I’ve been on, it doesn’t take me long to find it. I step cautiously – sense hostiles can’t detect traps.

When I enter, I can’t help but gag for a moment at the smell. Bloody monsters.

Fighting spirit + 20

The hold is littered with corpses of various races. At a glance, I can spot humans, elves, dwarves, halflings, lizardmen… the list goes on.

Not one of the corpses are intact.

I begin stepping in-between broken limbs and limp bodies. Avoiding the pools of blood is impossible, and my boots are gradually bathed in gore as I walk.

A red glow comes from ahead. An archway of twisted bodies has been erected on a pile of corpses, and demonic runes are scrawled across their skin.

An ominous portal twists darkly within the arch. In front of it stands the one with the face of my son, standing on the blank face of a dead man as he looks at me, smiling gently.

Seeing my son’s face again, his smile… In any other place it would bring a tear to my eye. Here, surrounded by death and cruelty, it just brings a chill to my spine.

“Hello again.” It said. “it’s been a long time. However, I’m afraid…” He turns around, walking towards the portal. “I really must be leaving now.”

It waves a hand in farewell.

Fighting spirit +20

My vision shakes, washed red in fury. Without a word, I hurl my harpoon at him. But in a whirl, the portal, and him with it, is gone.

My harpoon pierces through the hull of the ship and out into the water, slicing a trail of waves as it speeds off into the distance.

It comes back held in the mouth of a sea dragon. Gripping the edges of the hole I tear into the hull, I wrenching open a path with a mighty crack.

Taking my weapon back, I sit upon the scaly torso of the dragon.

“Let’s go back, Nevu.”

Despite being just a child, it’s more than strong enough to carry me along as it slithers along the surface of the water.

Behind us, the hole I left from flickered with flames, which spreads slowly but surely along the ship.

It’s all I could do to lay their troubled souls to rest.

Gerald: Dagger? Fork? Fogger?

Ferdinand: Has a shiny new dagger, and isn't sure what to make of it.