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DeadpoolUltra by BatRou-Dawg

Misc » Book X-overs Rated: M, English, Drama & Humor, Words: 70k+, Favs: 24, Follows: 27, Published: May 2, 2023 Updated: May 3, 2023

1Chapter 3

The dockworkers were more than happy to dig up some zip ties to cuff up the injured Merchants. Almost gleeful as they tied up the already battered and beaten gang members.

None of them were injured to the point of needing immediate first air or medical attention, but their hospital fees were gonna be... man I felt chills just thinking about it. If Panacea didn't live in this town, this would be something terrible.

Regardless, I wasn't actually ready for how many people wanted to thank me and shake my hand.

Honestly, I had thought that more people would have been concerned or scared about how I just juggernaut-ed my way through the fight, but I suppose I had won their trust by being brought in by Danny Hebert alone. I mean, there were an equal number of men joshing and celebrating with him after all. It was funny how obviously awkward Danny was about all the attention, but everyone else was just too happy to notice, I suppose.

Not that I was blaming them. If the Archer whatever Merchant gang had taken over these docks, everyone would have been out of a job. And most CERTAINLY would ALSO be having to pay for bullshit protection and shit which would only help the drug traffic in the city. Nobody wanted that shit.

Still, my Power Sight distracted me from the current mood a little.

There were two distortions in the pseudo-flame emitting from my Shard. Like little miniature zero horizon events, they seemed to suck in all the surrounding flame, but was also producing them as if it was some sort of perpetuating process. It fed off the Shard just as much as it provided to the Shard's radiance.

As my eyes began to burn, I pulled away. My instincts told me that no more Entropy Fragments could be derived from the presence of the thin band of golden flame left from being in Skidmark's presence. The gold seemed more static than before, as if all the motion and life it had before was no more. Something about lack of knowledge, experimentation, experience. My Shard could no longer sympathize with its growth and history.

Now if I could just figure out how to spend these fragments...

When I closed my eyes to ponder, that's when it hit me like a truck full of bricks. Somehow I could envision all of the powers from the CYOA, but some of them were blacked out. Unable to be accessed. Like X-Ray, the reason being that I already had a [Transcendental Optical Phenomenon] and I'd have to give up my old Power for a new one. Except to remove powers also COST fragments, albeit half of the needed points to purchase them rounded up.

Still, I decided to pick up Pocket Room.

Like a supernova, one of the distortions seemed to expand in a whole new way, refracting in every spectrum of light that I could and could not comprehend.

Suddenly I was aware of another sense that felt inside a small empty pocket dimension where I could store whatever the hell I wanted.

A grin threatened to split my face. I mean, come on. It's a Hammer Space. An Inventory. A [Spiritually Sympathetic Sub-Dimensional Container] and what the fuck are these quantific-

My thoughts were interrupted by a man appearing like the fucking Flash.

It was just a streak of red that stopped in a way that ignored all the natural laws of inertia.

My Power Vision explained it all.

He was dressed in a fully red bodysuit with racing stripes down the sides of it. I knew enough about Velocity to know that there should be two more racing stripes that formed a V somewhere on this front side. His shard was Gold and... also disappointingly not very close to blooming. Still I suppose that [Personal Time-State Dilation/Distortion State] which from the outside just looks like superspeed with a bunch of limitations is hard to experiment with anyways.

A spark of his flame sectioned off and began rotating around mine still, and it was good to know I'd still get some more Entropy Fragments tonight. Hopefully.

"Well you really did a number on these guys." Velocity whistled before turning to me, "I'm actually surprised that you managed to take them down all non-leth-HOLY CRAP. Are you ok? Do you need medical attention?!"

I shook my head.

"Oh, it just looks much worse than it is." I said as I pulled my right sleeve back to show him that everything had already healed over. "I rapidly regenerate from injuries. And I'm tough enough to deal with a little pain."

"A little?!" Danny broke away from his friends to join me, "Jo-Jesus kid, they stabbed you over a dozen times! Not to mention how many blunt objects they broke or..." he looked down at a metal bat bent at a 60 degree angle "...the point is there wasn't anything little about it!"

"Mr. Hebert-"

"Danny. Or Daniel, if you prefer. You saved our asses from a big fire, kid. No need to call me mister."

I shook my head as needless asian values kicked in, muddling social situations for me, as usual.

"Sir, you saved my life. I can't just-"

Velocity coughed interrupting the humblefest we had going on.

"I'm sure there is quite the story to tell here, but looks like backups here to pick up the Merchant goons. And Skidmark. He's a slippery guy. Honestly, I'm a little surprised you caught him."

Dark blue armored trucks with a logo that spelt out PRT arrived as Velocity finished his words. PRT troopers stomped out and began double checking injuries as they recuffed the Merchants with actual cuffs and began loading them up.

"Ok, now, I don't mean any harm by this, but would you mind coming in for some quick questions?"

PRT Cliche number 1! Bring in independents every time to shout propaganda at them.

Still, "I don't mind... but, uh... you guys don't seem like policemen."

Time to play the fool.

"You've never heard of the PRT?"

"I assume that's an acronym... but I don't know what that means."

Technically true. I probably read out what it said somewhere, but I sure as hell don't remember.

Velocity looked at me through his domino mask before coming to his own conclusion.

"Oh the eyes... you're a Case 53?"

"I'm a what?"

"Do you remember anything? Anyone?"

Oh shit this was funny. Now I HAVE to know how far I can take it.

"...My accent is not native to this area. I have deduced that it is Californian. I don't know how I arrived in Brockton Bay."

This is working for me. And they set up 53s with IDs right? 2 birds. 1 stone.

Danny put a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey, it's going to be ok, kid."

I let my Power Sight flicker off for a second before turning it back on... Actually it took more conscious effort to turn it off than on. Huh.

That's odd.

"Do you mind if I come with J- I mean, the kid? I think he could use a little support."

"Mr. Hebert... no, I... thank you, Danny... sir."

He laughed politely as he clapped my shoulder.

I heard a faint buzzing on what must have been Velocity's headset. He made the beginning of what was a disgusted face before schooling his features... and flicking the headset off.

"Yeah. Sounds good. After you."

A PRT Medic rushed his/her way over to me, offering medical assistance.

Velocity waved her off with the words, "C53. Brute with Regeneration."

The Medic paused, nodded nervously, and walked off.

Ah, I forgot. Most Case 53s are called Monster Capes for a reason.

PRT vehicles got to ignore traffic like cop cars, I noted as we headed for the Rig. Danny took the opportunity to borrow a cellphone to call home and let Taylor know everything was ok.

Maybe I was remembering something wrong, but I was expecting to head over to the Rig. And drive on a fucking FORCE FIELD road.

Force field roads man! Thats SciFi as hell!

I mean, the Rig was just TOO visible, you know? I was looking forward to seeing that goddamn city of tomorrow looking sunuvabitch.

But no. The Rig isn't he PRT Headquarters. Headquarters was located downtown. With the prisons.

You have a near impregnable fortress out in open water like MOTHERFUCKING SCI-FI AZKABAN and YOU'RE NOT USING IT AS A SUPER PRISON?! Read a Marvel comic for Christ's sake.

No wonder Lung gets busted out in canon. Holy shit people are stupid.

We stepped out of the PRT transport truck and made our way inside. Out of the corner of my eyes I could see a whole line of Merchants being led in another direction, moaning and groaning about their injuries.

I didn't feel guilty at all. And I didn't know if that was good or not.

I mean, they did stab me upwards two dozen times and tried to beat the hell out of me. But even back in middle school when I got in two of the biggest scraps in my life (and came out on top) I still had some lingering guilt.

Maybe I was more jaded now that I was older? Or I was a nicer guy when I was younger? Or was it the parental disapproval?

Fuck. This isn't the time for existential crisis, Joe. Get your head together.

"Velocity here. I've got the new cape that took down Skidmark and a bunch of Merchant grunts. And his, uh, current guardian."

I winced inwardly.

Did I really look that young?

Honestly it was at the point where I wanted to deny it, but I hadn't done anything to prove otherwise. It would be really awkward. Especially for Danny.

Ah well.

New life, new me I guess.

I feel like fucking Toby Maguire in the Sam Raimi Spiderman trilogy all of a sudden.

We were screened through some sort of future metal detector that was less embarrassing looking than the ones in modern airports. Those giant plasti-glass tubes that had that had the plastic encased scanners spin around you 180 degrees and probably xray search your rectal cavities? This was like one of those old school rectangular door frames... but then it shone a light over me in a horizontal line that went up and down as if it was looking for some sort of bar code.

I bet you Armsmaster is looking for stuff in people's rectal cavities with it.

Positive.

Dude totally has to have an anal fetish.

Velocity led us to an elevator that was encased in what looked like some sort of glass tube. We rose rapidly without a lurch of motion that was normally expected of a normal elevator. We got to see a lot of curious sights as we reached our destination, even seeing what must have been the Wards running some kind of exercise drills. But nothing related to Tinkers or Thinkers.

The elevator was probably designed for a mixture of awe and operational security.

Once we reached the top, the door opened into a large room. A large, heavyset blonde woman sat at the end of a table that wouldn't have been out of place at a board meeting. Or Evangelion.

I was surprised to see that it wasn't Mister Icon himself (Armsmaster), but Miss Militia that was currently at the large blonde woman's (Probably Director Piggot, I then recalled) side.

There was a sudden weight in my pocket and I knew that it was (somehow) a knuckle duster.

There were two bands of golden flame orbiting my own now, and ride here had been enough for a new Entropy fragment and most of a second one. Miss Militia's presence alone was enough to jump-start the formation of the second one. Her flame was the brightest one that I had seen so far, and her Shard seemed to have bloomed already, but had closed itself back up.

That was odd.

Something in my Shard told me that they weren't supposed to be able to do that...

"...Velocity. Thank you for bringing our new friend to the Rig. My name is Emily Piggot. The head of the Brockton Bay Protectorate Branch."

"And I am Miss Militia." Her voice was soft and smooth, like turkish chocolate or coffee. "It's a pleasure."

"I'm, uh, I suppose I don't have a codename like you and Velocity."

"That won't matter for our current situation." Piggot said curtly, "Please, take a seat."

Danny and I looked at each other before shrugging and awkwardly slipping into-

HOLY SHIT.

"This is the most comfortable chair I've ever sat it, I think... ah..." I sank into the leather cushions, eyes fluttering sleepily. "Wow... just wow..."

There was a faint huff of air from Miss Militia, probably holding back a bit of laughter.

Piggot looked like she almost wanted to roll her eyes, but she kept going.

"It's rare for a Case 53, even rarer for those under the age of adulthood. But we here at the Protectorate have always taken juvenile safety seriously." Piggot said, "Have you decided on a personal private name?"

Uh... on one hand sharing my name seems like a bad idea... but...

Danny gave me a helpless shrug.

I sighed. Whatever, I'll just deal with things as they come. Even though I have no plans of joining the PRT, I still might as well stay on friendly terms.

I pulled off my hood and mask.

"I, uh, decided my name should be Joe Lee." Not a lie, I had been given the option to choose my american name by my parents a long time ago. "Joe and Lee are both common enough names and, well, I can speak some Korean for some reason or the other. Lee's a common Korean name, I think? It works for me."

Piggot jot something down on a piece of paper, grunting something to herself.

"That'll work. So. Any other physical traits we should note when trying to set you up with a proper identity?"

"Uh... I don't have body hair?"

Velocity coughed into his elbow.

Miss Militia just raised an eyebrow.

"...Is that all?" Piggot seemed tired already. What's with that?

"Nothing else I WANT to talk about."

"...I suppose that's fair enough. You're lucky enough to be one of the more human looking Case 53s. A pair of sunglasses or contacts should solve the most pressing issue."

"Yeah I can force it to stop glowing, but not for long."

"...Noted." Piggot scratched out something else on her papers, "Also, we would like to test your powers and have you join the Wards. Once that is done, then we can look into sorting out your housing issue."

Oh sneaky bitch.

"What're the Wards?"

She blinked as I interrupted her, seeming that she hadn't expected any questions. Bitch please.

"They are a junior branch of the Protectorate for those under the age of 18. They serve the city while under PRT protection."

"...What would happen if they came across a villain during a patrol."

"Naturally, they would hold back and wait for reinforcements before engaging."

"...Even if there were people in danger? If their restraint and caution cost the lives of innocents?"

Piggot narrowed her eyes at me. She seemed to chew her words before coming to some sort of decision. Something about the way she spit out her next words felt like a test. Or challenge.

"Yes."

"Then I cannot. How could I stand back and do nothing when people are in danger?"

"You have to understand that there is much more to consider than-"

"Of course there is. There is always more to consider. But if someone was in trouble in front of me, where my arms could reach, and I did not, then I would be responsible for what followed BECAUSE I DID NOT ACT. It would be because I had the power to protect him and I did not! Because with great power, comes great responsibility! Because it is not wrong to save people!"

Take the chuuni. TAKE ALL THE CHUUNI. SPIDER-MAN, EMIYA, AND ALL MIGHT EAT YOUR HEART OUT!

Miss Militia didn't make any overt moves, but her fingers did twitch as if they had tried itching at one of the weapons in her arsenal. Probably for instinct than actual intent on doing anything.

Piggot on the other hand was staring at me in the oddest way. Something between stupefied and disbelief probably. I don't know. She has a pretty good poker face and I'm not great at reading people's emotions anyways.

"...I see. Well. Still, do consider it. Most independents die or are gang pressed within the first six months of their hero careers. Still, we would recommend getting your powers tested. At least."

"I... sorry. Yeah. Sounds good. Sorry, I didn't mean to yell... Honestly, I don't really know where that just came from." I just wanted to make it clear that I didn't want to be a Ward, not go full chuuni.

Earth Bet is doing some weird shit to me, man...

POV: Miss Militia

"...Well that was interesting."

The Director snorted in what I have come to understand as a grudging agreement. The new Case 53 was definitely different.

Although clearly asian, his features were almost ethereal. Too handsome from one angle. Too pretty from another. Perhaps it might be best he not join the Wards merely because of his inhuman attractiveness.

His eyes glowing like glorious galaxies did not help, I supposed. They reminded me of the dream. When God saved me, sent his angel down and granted me the power to become more than what I once was...

I suppose it was only natural that the Director would feel that the young man was dangerous.

She had Armsmaster listen in through hidden cameras while running his lie detecting algorithm, after all.

"So, Armsmaster? Anything we should be worried about?"

"...His beliefs are dangerous. The algorithm still needs tuning, but the data is certain that he does genuinely believes in what he said. And he certainly hasn't said anything that clearly constitutes a lie. But his idealism is firmly rooted. As if he constantly was taking in propaganda or media that took these values as fact... It doesn't help that his power set seems to be that of a high Brute rating that lets him keep fighting endlessly... It's too early to be sure, but from what the dockworkers are saying, his regeneration might be on the level where bullets aren't even a real threat. And there's something about his eyes that makes me nervous. Like he can see something we cant."

The Director nodded, but seemed to be distracted.

She muttered under her breath.

And I was sure I heard something that I should not have.

Because there was no point in drowning in the doubt of "what if"s.

While I wasn't immune to bullets, knives, and blunt force trauma, I certainly was immune to fire and ice. And acid. And poison and... fuck I picked up Immunity, alright?

But it's not like I could just explain that to these crazy scientists.

My clothes had already become worthless due to the tests I went through and I was just uncomfortably covering my genitals while being bombast-ed with some genuinely horribly smelling things.

Their response to me complaining about the smell was to hose me down. Then jot down how I wasn't shivering when the water was at near freezing.

Eventually I was given a towel and a few complimentary black lower face masks.

The fuck was I, Kakashi?

Still, it was snug and comfortable. And surprisingly breathable. All good enough for me.

"Miss Shadow Stalker, you can't just enter the tes-"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just gonna take a look at the new guy and make sure he's up to parrrr..."

Oh no.

Sophie fucking Hess, dressed to the nines in her Shadow Stalker outfit. Black skintight outfit. There was black body armor strapped on over that which didn't take away from her natural curves. Well except maybe her chest. I assume she was about average on that front. But she had a billowy cloak made of dark grey/black urban camo and a black mask that made it seem like she was looking down on others.

And she was staring at me like a hyena seeing a particularly juicy cut of meat.

God. I had never been looked at like a piece of meat before...

How do girls put up with this?

Fuck it. Confidence is half the battle.

I sighed as I scratched the back of my neck, corded muscleshiftingandcoilingas I moved.

"Can I help you?" My back stretched and I reared up to an impressive six foot three. I hadn't had the chance to get measured since I transformed. (Is it weird that THIS was the thing that made me the most excited? More than superpower? Fuck it was good to be tall. My balance was a tad off sometimes, but Martial Arts Skill and Peak Condition really made that negligible.)

She shifted her weight on one leg as her mask gazed up and down at my form.

"...Yeah I can think of a few things you could help me with."

Fucking teens.

...

I meant that as in (Pft. Fucking teenage hormones) rather than- you know what I mean!

"Hey! Shadow Stalker! You cant just- oh wow."

A young blonde girl in a domino mask appears!

Fight PKMon

Item Run

YOU CANNOT RUN.

This is really not safe for- what the fuck was that?

Did nobody else see that? Was that... No. What the fuck was... I think I'm hallucinating. I need some rest. I ain't a goddamn noctis cape.

Fuck. I already don't understand what's happening.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and took in a deep breath, sighing as I let it out.

Apparently even me BREATHING was enough to get nervous giggles out what who I ASSUME must be Vista.

Fuck me sideways with a rusty wrench.

Fucking teenagers.

END

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