NOVEL WEB Chapter 111: 2
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DeadpoolUltra by BatRou-Dawg
Misc » Book X-overs Rated: M, English, Drama & Humor, Words: 70k+, Favs: 24, Follows: 27, Published: May 2, 2023 Updated: May 3, 2023
1Chapter 2
"Dad?... Why is there a stranger on our couch?"
I woke to the voice of a young girl.
Fuck, that just sounds wrong for some reason.
I kept my eyes closed and didn't move, keeping my face relaxed.
I've been faking sleep since I was 5. I was pretty confident in my fake sleeping face... wow that is sad that I'm proud of that skill.
"Somebody just found him at the docks unconscious after throwing up a bunch of water. I kept him in the waiting room at the office for a while, but it's not like I could just leave him there. And if we called him into the hospital... well they'd bill us instead of whoever would be responsible for him first. Nobody at the docks can afford that kind of monetary responsibility right now, Taylor."
Wait.
Hold the phone.
Docks? Taylor? Uh...
Fucking shit.
I'm at Taylor Hebert's house.
SHIT.
What time is it? Fuck. No. What DATE is it?
I have to stop her trigger event.
Because that is TOO fucked up of a thing to happen to ANYBODY. Fuck the timeline, fuck whatever.
I'm a small guy.
...At heart I mean.
Look fuck you, when I broke out of that concrete anchor I saw my new body's dick ok? I am a fucking elephant.
Shit, my dick's derailing my train of thought.
Christ there is something wrong with me. And EVERYTHING wrong with that previous sentence.
Still, I didn't take acting in highschool and college for no reason.
I maintained the sleeping poker face a while longer.
I heard Taylor hum in understanding before walking past me. No. Wait. She's sitting in front of the couch. Well, considering that I'mlayingon it I can understand her actions as she flicks on the TV.
My nose was more powerful than I remember. Prolly BS Shard powers from Peak Condition. She smells like some generic brand floral soap. It doesn't smell like anybody's dumped anything on her, so maybe I am just early enough to stop the most fucked up thing that I know happened to someone that I like?
God that's so weird.
She's supposed to be a character in a book.
Well I'm in that book now, so fuck it, she's just as real as I am.
Where was I going with this? Fuck, thats right.
I'm a small guy at heart. For me, I just want to be able to save what my arms can reach and protect. That's enough for me.
But now, with my powers, my arms can reach out further and protect more.
Wow.
I can... DO something. Make an impact that actually matters...
It's an overwhelming feeling that is drowned out by feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. I don't even recall much about the standard story. Hell I don't even KNOW about most of the shit post Leviathan. Will I even changeanything?
The commercial break ends and I hear the news buzz about quietly. Brockton Bay News. Fucking original.
It's about a PRT Conference. Lots of media fanfare and propaganda sounding shit. And something about a new addition to the Wards.
"...today it has been officially confirmed that the Vigilante known as Shadow Stalker will be joining the Wards program on a probationary basis. The PRT expresses great confidence that they will guide and nurture yet another great hero to protect our beautiful city. Former known for her silent and quick takedowns with her crossbow, the young-"
It wasn't the news that Sadistic Sophie joined the Wards that made me freeze.
It wasn't the fact that, HOLY SHIT I arrived early enough that I could prevent some MESSED up shit from happening to Taylor that made me freeze.
She was breathing.
On my face.
WTF.
Girl I am above the age of 20 and you're like, what, 15? 16? There is something VERY NOT OK with this!
I twitched as she touched my face.
WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE DOING?
Fuck. Cosmetic Shapeshift. Makes. Me. Attractive.
AND TAYLOR IS CURRENTLY JUST A 15ISH YEAR OLD GIRL WITH TEENAGE HORMONES.
Ah fuck.
Not that I'm not bad looking before, but you know, fat cheeks before. Spicy Korean Hunk after.
Spicy Korean Hunk kind of wins every time.
I grumbled (just enough to be believable) as I opened my eyes.
Her eyes met mine.
Hazel eyes, always shifting in color.
Right now they were green.
"I'm a sucker for green eyes." I muttered, only then realizing that I spoke that aloud at all.
Whelp. There goes the good first impression I was hoping to make.
Taylor immediately flushed like flame and shot backwards. Which was good, because while she was on the cute side, she was way too young to be THAT close to my face.
She was thin. Like. Really thin. Almost anorexic looking, but just healthy enough that it wasn't a suspicion. Nice legs though. Actually.
Legs for days.
Even if she could use a little more meat on her bones.
Still, I groaned as I sat up, the blanket covering me sliding forwards as I lifted my back from the thick towels keeping my seasalt flavored body from ruining the couch.
I cracked my neck, stretching as turned my head left and right.
"Ugh. That's better... Uh, where am I, miss...?" I asked playing the fool.
Meanwhile Taylor was half hiding behind a worn leather armchair, curious eyes peeking shyly over the aged leather.
"Ah, uh. Hi. M-my name is Taylor. My dad found you on the docks and brought you here."
I gave her a gentle smile.
"Ah, thank you." I nodded cheerily, "I'm afraid that I have no idea what's going on."
She chuckled a little awkwardly. Obviously not exactly sure what to say.
Then her face became even more red. The blush start to spread down her neck and I looked down not understanding why.
Then I cursed under my breath.
"I look like Poseidon decided that his path in life was to become a stripper."
Because Danny Hebert is an idiot. Because Danny Hebert didn't give me a t-shirt. Hell, he didn't even give me a pair of gym shorts. He just left me under a blanket, naked except for the bits of dried seaweed STILL covering my body.
And by covering my body, I meant that it was draped around my shoulders and dried to random parts of my torso like smelly stickers. Shit was pretty much only good for covering my nipples.
Which it was doing.
Rather poorly.
Fuck.
"You, uh," I pulled up the dirty blanket up to my neck. I've seen my new body underwater. This was NSFW for teenage eyes. "Mind letting me borrow the shower for a bit?"
She gave an almost imperceptible nod before running out of the living room and into wherever I assumed Danny Hebert to be.
I tried not to overhear their conversation, but it seemed Peak Condition improved my hearing as well as my vision.
"Dad! The, uh, guy on the couch is awake and asking if he can take a shower! Also, WHY IS HE NAKED?!"
There was a thump, like somebody hitting their head on some piece of wood.
"Oof! Taylor, honey, I was fixing the sink. And I have some spare clothes for him in the bathroom, but I wasn't going to dress an unconscious kid your age."
Screw you, I just have baby fac- wait. Wut.
So Danny brought what HE thinks is a teenage boy home. Naked. When he has a daughter of what he thinks is the same age?...
Ok. Well.
Danny Hebert is a kind man. Probably very caring. But...
So, so stupid...
Sandy, light brown hair, all of them slowly going grey. Like ground up salt and pepper. While tall and in decent shape, Danny Hebert was a tired looking man.
"Ah, you're awake. Go ahead and take a shower." He pointed to a hallway, "Its the first door on the left. You can't miss it. Once you're clean and we put some food into you, you can, uh. Figure out what you have to do."
I nodded, although a bit unsure of the current situation.
"Thank you, sir. That, uh, sounds really good."
The bathroom was small, but the tiled floors and walls were clean and free of mold. Not that I was expecting anything really in terrible condition or something. But I recall reading something on the wiki that if Danny Hebert had triggered he'd have, what, rat control?
I blasted the heat to max and stepped into the freezing water.
It felt... well. Not actually all that cold. Just a tad cooler than lukewarm actually.
Shit. Keep forgetting I have powers now. Immunity (the power, obviously) gives temperature immunity. Huh. Fuck. I just ruined hot showers for myself.
The seaweed got dumped into the trash, and I scrubbed myself clean from head to toe.
Where the fuck was my body hair?
Like I'm Korean, and was never hairy, but... my skin was like, baby's bottom smooth. Like a perfect shave everywhere without the hair. Nothing said that I'd stop growing pubes dammit.
I mean I trimmed, but it was so... weird. I didn't even have armpit hair. The fuck? I've never NOT had armpit hair.
Ugh. Whatever.
I stepped out to see the whole room fogged up with steam.
Ah. Max heat. Uh. Oops?
Wiping the moisture off the mirror I stared at my face. I don't think I had been deaged, but my babyface was going even stronger than I remember. I looked 19 at MOST.
I sighed as I opened the window in the bathroom to let all the hot steam and air out and got dressed in the white t-shirt and blue sweatpants that were left out for me.
No underwear tho.
Ah fuck. Pants are kinda close to formfitting. I'm not sure if an outline of my groin makes for a good impression. Shirt was kind of too tight too. Like just big enough to wear. Probably belonged to Danny, but I was currently kind of jacked. And Danny wasn't.
But asking for something else seems a bit...
I peaked my head out into the hallway.
"Uh... sir?"
"Yes? What is it?" I heard from out of my line of sight.
"Not to sound ungrateful, sir, but, uh. I kind of need... bigger pants."
There was a short silence and the sound of a wooden drawer opening before Mr. Hebert appeared with a few pairs of looser sweats.
"These ok?"
They were.
Still weird going commando.
Dinner was equally awkward. Just some mac and cheese with ham sandwiches. That wasn't the problem, per say.
But the atmosphere between Taylor and Danny was obviously awkward... which was compounded by the fact that Taylor's eyes kept flitting about at my biceps and the muscles that were trying to tear through my ill-fitting shirt.
And Danny's stare gaining more and more of what I call Essence of the Papa Bear.
Time to break the silence, I guess.
"So, uh. Thank you for helping me, Mr..."
"Hebert. Danny Hebert. I'm in charge of the Dockworker's Union." Oh god he's going for power-plays. Fuck me man. You're the one that brought me home, dude!
"Hi, my name is Joe. Joe Lee. I'm uh, new in town."
That seemed to at least ease him off.
Probably was concerned that I might be ABB, I just then realized.
But he still brought me home? Odd.
"So, you wanna tell me how you, uh, found yourself on the dock of Brockton Bay?"
"To be honest, I'm not sure exactly how I found myself in Brockton Bay." A half-truth. Hell, I didn't even know where or how I appeared in the city.
He frowned as he chewed on some easy mac.
"Do you need to borrow a phone to call your parents?"
"Ah. No sir." Not really a lie. I was pretty sure that I probably didn't exist in this world, therefor no parents. "I don't, uh-"
We were interrupted by the home phone going off.
"S'cuse me for a sec." Danny swallowed his food with a sip of water and turned to pick up the phone.
"H-hi. I'm Taylor." Taking advantage of her dad leaving the table gave me a shy flutter of her fingers in a way that she must have though was a wave.
"Joe. Nice to meet you, Taylor." I smiled back pleasantly, "Thanks for the hospitality."
"Oh, that's not- I mean- It's my dad that-"
There was a large slamming of plastic as Danny Hebert quickly appeared, pulling his jacket on, face in a visage of obvious panic.
"Honey! I'm headed to the docks! Some crazy fat ABB kid pissed off the other gangs yesterday and now the Merchants are using the excuse of a manhunt to move in on the docks! I have to go!"
...Fuck.
"Mr. Hebert, let me help you." / "Dad, you can't go there alone!" We burst out of our chairs simultaneously.
Taylor and I paused for a second as we turned to meet eyes. She turned away quickly with a nervous flush.
"Mr. Hebert. You saved my life." A lie, I mean, I probably would have been fine, but... "Let me help you in any way I can."
I caused this, so I can't let anything happen to him.
He hesitated, but seemed to easily recall that I was MUCH more built than he was.
He grit his teeth, seemingly frustrated, but caved. He needed the manpower.
"Alright. Let me grab an old hoodie to cover your hair and eyes. You're obviously not the guy they're looking for, but you're asian. If they think ABB got to us first then its going to cause a lot of misunderstanding."
He pulled open the hallway closet next to the entrance and tossed me a thick hoodie and worker's facemask from inside. "Hope it fits."
I pulled it over my head and pulled the hood on.
"No asians work for the Dockworker's Union?"
"Nobody as young as you."
"Ah."
We walked out the door (Danny and I both wore size 10. Go figure.) and Danny quickly hopped in his pickup and started the engine. I hopped into the passenger's seat as Taylor ran out the door, and around to her dad's side of the car, giving him a hug through the open window.
"...Please be safe, Dad."
"...I will."
I sat there quietly waiting for them to part. At Taylor's teary face I felt guilt. This was my fault. Fuck. Dammit.
"...I'll keep him safe. No matter what. I promise."
She nodded at me, the sleeves of her thin sweater wiping her tears away as she put up a brave front.
One that she was probably going to be putting up every day for the next few months.
She smiled at me as I tasted blood from my lip.
"Thank you."
I nodded.
I had a mistake to fix.
The drive to the docks was relatively silent and without traffic. Surprisingly.
It WAS late after all.
"...Hey, kid. You said your name was Joe, right?"
"Yes, sir."
"...If the Merchants have a cape with them. Run."
"...I can't. If there's going to be a cape there. You'll need me. And I..."
Shit, this was Taylor's dad, right? I could trust that, right? Shit. Most fanfics kind of glaze over him, or some other shit. I don't recall much about him at all.
"Sir. I'm a cape. I can help you."
That did catch his attention.
Green eyes grew cloudy as they weighed the situation.
"...Fine. Ok. But if you get in over your head. I still want you to run."
"Ok."
I lied.
Lying is easy. They always were.
There was a mexican standoff of sorts going once we arrived, the screech of breaking tires turning heads as Danny and I quickly made our way to the Dockworker Union's side. He didn't even turn his engine off.
"Well fuck. The big man of the union. What's up cracker? You ready to let ma men through so they can find that porkbun faced wanker that shot me?"
Skidmark.
Oh this was just great.
I activated Power Sight to see a fragment of gold glowing from within Skidmark's skull. It was actually at a state where it was (I somehow could see and feel this instinctively) no where near budding. But it gave off a sort of radiant flame like energy. Then it flickered towards me, as Power Hub activated.
A small spark of flame radiated, breaking apart as it fluttered around my shard's Negenthropic flame. It reached almost yearning until my shard's flame as mine let out flickering tendrils to guide the power around me.
I didn't feel a thing when Power Hub made contact with Skidmark's Speed Zones [Inertia Amplifying Layered Boundaries] and had that power orbit around the essence of my Negenthropic shard.
But the small, orbiting flame?
It flowed with joy like a man seeing God for the first time. A reason for existence itself.
The longer Power Hub is active and the more powers in it's vicinity, you may draw upon the foreign power's experience to take your own energies and consolidate them into Entropy Fragments. Said Fragments can replace either Character or Shard Points.
It was more of a feeling than anything. Something niggling in the back of my head. Something instinctual that told me that having Negenthropy MEANT more than what the format of the CYOA had decided... but that shouldn't have been possible.
Mine was supposed to be a dead shard. So nothing was supposed to be instinctive... right?
My musings, however, were quckly broken.
"-hey, big man, listen to me when... the fuck with the LED eye sh-"
His eyes began widening in realization. Fuck. Well, whatever. Element of surprise and all that good rot.
I leapt forwards, the wood of the docks underneath my feet letting out a spray of wooden fragments as I shot forwards fifteen feet with a flying knee kick, the bottom of my shoes glowing a dull blue.
The instant acceleration was almost too much for Skidmark who shot backwards in a desperate attempt to dodge.
The tip of my shoes grazed his lips and nose, sending debris into his airways making him cough.
It was enough of a distraction for me to plant my foot back down on solid ground with my left foot and bleed all of my current momentum into spinning around and landing a roundhouse kick on Skidmark's waist with all the grace of a Wuxia novel character.
The head of the Merchants waved his arm about and tried to deflect the kick with a pinkish purple barrier, but he was still sent flying into the water. Didn't matter to me as long as he was within 100 meters of me to keep Power Hub going.
"THEY'VE GOT A FUCKING CAPE!"
One of the druggies near where I landed flicked open a flip knife on me and thrust awkwardly.
Even though his movement wasn't fluid, his aim was actually pretty good, I had to give him that. My left arm struck upwards, hand curled down as it crushed his wrist from below with a crane's neck blow.
He screamed in pain as the knife flew up into the air.
The steel shone in the moonlight, the turning of the black flickering silver.
Once. Twice.
THUNK
It buried itself into the docks tip first.
God I've always wanted to say this one-liner!
"They have no need to fear. For I AM HERE! COME AT ME, VILLAINS!"
Lord help me, for I havth weeb'd.
I don't know if they lacked survival instincts, were that loyal to a drug lord like Skidmark, or something else. All I know that was for me the next ten minutes was an endless flow of fists and kicks.
Knives dug into my flesh.
Bats and clubs cracked and sometimes broke bone.
I just kept moving.
A low kick to bust out someone's kneecap, spun around to elbow some in the jaw. I felt bone and cartilege shatter upon impact. Skidmark's Speed Zones allowed me to make an impossible sliding sidesteps allowing me to dodge and reposition myself for almost anything. It was so exhilarating that I almost missed a glint of polished steel, but my head jerked on instinct, leaning my head away from another stabbing knife, taking two stabs in the back as I uppercut the dumbass that tried stabbing my eyes out.
After a minute or two of flailing about Skidmark tried to push himself out of the water, but I pulled him up by his wrist, ignoring the knife that he pulled stabbing deep into the forearm and bicep of the arm lifting him up.
Then sparta kicked him another thirty feet into the bay as he skipped once across the surface of the water.
A wooden bat splintered as it cracked against the back of my head, making it ring, but not preventing me from lashing out with a wild donkey kick. My foot dug into fleshy belly as I heard somebody retch out their previous meal.
Holy shit everything hurt.
Holy shit Martial Arts Skill was amazing with my enhanced strength.
I still wasn't anywhere close to being equal to having picked up the Brute: Do You Even Lift power, but it was enough to kick a whole LOT of ass.
I even stood there and let them hit me with a crowbar, an aluminum bat, and rusty pipe before they realized that I was just standing there and letting them hit me on purpose.
I didn't move, but the facemask covered my mouth so they couldn't see me grit my teeth at the pain. I had dozens of cuts and bruises that had healed over, but it still hurt WHEN they hit me. Even if I had already Rocky roided up to the point that they couldn't BUDGE me when the hit me with their noodle-y arms.
Well.
Most arms are noodle-y compared to mine right now.
"I will give you all a chance, villains. The only personage that has been harmed today by your hands is me. Leave your injured here for detainment and proper medical attention. Should you do so I will allow you to leave without any further bloodshed."
I stepped forwards.
They all took a step back.
"I'm sure that we can all come to a peaceful solution. If you agree, please. Drop your weapons."
Thunks and clangs rang out as the jittery ones just began hoofing it out of there.
Ignoring the screeching of a certain wet rat demanding that they stay and fight, the rest of them began to do the same. Maybe if I didn't just beat twenty people into human pulp they'd have listened. Or if they had another cape with them. But the remaining twenty, twenty-five?
Well, they were the type to look after number 1.
After confirming that they weren't going to double back for their busted up buddies, I dove into the bay to fish Skidrat out.
Fucker still had another knife and stabbed me a few times as I dragged him up onto land. I didn't bother stopping him. It hurt like hell, but my body (I don't know if it was because of Rocky or not) had become more resilient and resistant to pain. It was more like a puppy getting too playful while teething than any real harm with my regeneration.
If he just wanted to make me stronger, than whatever.
I did find satisfaction when I slammed him down on the deck of the docks with enough force to knock him the fuck out.
"Phew... Well that settles things." I turned to the Dockworker's Union and Danny who all looked more than a little shocked and more than a little concerned about my physical condition. "Is everybody on your end ok, Mr. Hebert? It's hard to keep track of where everyone is in the middle of a skirmish."
"Kid, you uh... still have..." he gestured to a few body parts on his own form.
"Oh." I still had like, four knives stuck in me, "I forgot about those."
I pulled them out and dropped them on the ground. Wanted to dump them in the bay, but... well. Both littering and evidence is a thing.
"We should, uh. Call 911?"
"Uh, yeah." Danny nodded stiffly, "We probably should."
END
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