Worries And Contemplation
Eliana paced around the room as countless thoughts swirled around in her mind, her frenzied emotions not simmering down in the slightest.
[Master, please calm down] the System advised.
"Calm down? You seriously expect me to keep calm after learning something like this?"
[...]
The system remained silent, letting its master stew their thoughts for a while before speaking...
[Is this world really that bad though Master? I think that this is the perfect place for you to live the kind of life you desire? I find it difficult to understand the reason for your anger]
Eliana raised an eyebrow at the System's words.
"Is that what you think I'm frustrated about?"
[... Is it not?]
It questioned with a hint of confusion in its voice, perplexed by her response.
SIGH
Eliana ceased her frantic movements, walked over to her bed and laid herself down on her back. Her silky dark violet hair sprawled out behind her and the loose and the practically transparent negligee she was wearing clinging tightly to her body, showing off a tantalizing sight. She didn't have the time to care about how she looked though, her mind was completely occupied at the moment.
Her velvet eyes gazed at the opulent ceiling, her expression that was marred with slight anger and frustration now somewhat complex and unreadable.
"There is so much going on in my mind at this point that I can't even figure how exactly I should feel about all of this."
[What do you mean]
"First of all, I am annoyed by you"
[...]
"Don't be so bewildered, I thought I told you this before but since I wasn't clear enough, I will say it again but this will truly be the last time..."
"Don't speak in riddles. Don't needlessly hide things from me that could potentially be important, no matter how good you might think it would be for me to be kept in the dark, ever again. Are we clear???" she admonished, her tone leaving no room for refusal.
[...Yes Master]
[ I-I apologize]
Eliana smiled faintly at its response but she wasn't sure if it would truly listen to her. It had said that its main purpose was to help her but when she thinks about all the novels with Systems she read back on Earth, she is sure in the future, it will once again speak to her in riddles and act all mysterious but she at least hoped it wouldn't withhold something crucial from her like it did this time.
'Also, even though its voice is androgynous and it tries to sound somewhat mechanical, it's easy to see it has its own personality... I wonder what that is about'
She ultimately chose not to dwell on that any longer though since there was nothing she could do about it unless it chose to speak up first.
"The second thing that is annoying me is that I can feel my mind is being split into two different directions."
"I find one part of me being overjoyed at finding out the true origin of this world... I find myself feeling so happy and content as I come to the realization that there is no better place for me... someone who's only dying wish was getting the chance to live out all the desires that I didn't get to live out on Earth."
A rising heat began stirring up in Eliana's loins as a few of the cutscenes in the game involving 'her' and many others emerged in her mind. The sheer debauchery on display causing an intense blush to appear on her face.
She slowly rubbed her thighs together just to alleviate the slight ache she was feeling, not daring to actually touch her nether regions with her hands lest she loses control of herself.
'Fuck! I have to calm down'
[There's no harm in relieving yourself Master, no one is here to stop you.]
"Don't tempt me!" she cursed furiously.
She knows if she dares to indulge herself right now, she will spend way too much time trying to explore her body and how 'different' and novel everything about it feels.
'There's no way my dormant bloodline isn't a Succubus or something closely related to it since I'm sure this is bordering on Ishtar's levels of horny right now...'
'Were both of our sexual appetites were added in when merging as well or is it something else?'
She tried to think about a few other reasons as to why this could be the case but she couldn't really come up with a completely definitive answer so she continued on with what she was saying before she got distracted.
"Anyway, I find the second part of me, the part of me that was originally from this world in the first place, feeling immense frustration with regards to the true origin of the world that I have been living in all my life."
"No matter how much I try to not let it affect me, my mind can't help but wonder just how much of my life is, or has been dictated by whims and designs of that shitty game and its plot."
"I know may I may no longer be the same Eliana as before and that I'm fundamentally a different person than the character in the game but I can't help but wonder how much of that will actually impact how the events in this world will go from now on and how much of my life has been influenced by it already before I got poisoned..."
Her mind can't help but wonder about all the novels on Earth that had a similar plot and its main characters. How they were told that they will not be affected by stupid plots or some kind of Destiny and yet they fall right into their clutches anyway...
"Were my actions and thoughts truly my own or were they influenced by an external force all this time. What about all the people around me? What about all the bonds I have forged with the few special people in my life, were they all also a by-product of the plot's influence"
"If the part of me from Earth never had the chance to be transmigrated here thanks to the actions of those two Goddesses, would've I continued to live on following the game's script none the wiser?? Just thinking about all those implications is pissing me off"
She poured out her thoughts while she fretted about this whole situation. Even though she is trying to optimistic about it, she couldn't help the small hints of anxiety that have slowly been threatening to overwhelm her ever since she woke up.
[...]
[I didn't expect you to be such an overthinker Master]
"Huh"
[You are worrying too much about something that you really shouldn't be in the first place]
Eliana quickly shot up from the bed.
"What do you mean?"
[Master, try to remember how things played out for 'you' in the game and try to think about your own memories in this world.]
She was puzzled as to why it wanted her to do this but she chose to believe in it for now.
She closed her eyes and thought back to that vast sea of memories she had seen while undergoing the merger and she tried to gleam as much information she could from it.
**********
Even though Eliana hadn't played enough of 'Celestial Conqueror' back on Earth to be able to know enough information about the finer details about the game except things regarding the Mc's journey after his 'awakening', essentially the game's prologue and its opening storyline...
She was sure she could piece together some things from all the dialogue scenes she could recall and the relevant info she had also come across while browsing the internet such as that Heroine Ranking List.
'That shit still pisses me the fuck off just thinking about it... How dare those stupid keyboard warriors put me 5th '
'Hmph, if this world truly is based on that game's plot, that idiot of an MC should steer clear away from me otherwise...' she grumbled in her mind as she contemplated violence.
'But his dick is really big though and it practically stays hard for as long as he wants... so wouldn't it be perfect since it could fuck me in just the way I want, as much as I want. I could just cover his face with a pillow or something...' her mouth watered at the thought.
SLAP
She then lightly slapped herself for entertaining such stupid thoughts and focused on the task at hand.
Once she was done with sifting through all the info about the game, she then tried to recall as much as she could about her life in this world before she got poisoned and fell into a coma.
Not long after, she couldn't help the relieved smile that began to bloom on her face as she came to a striking conclusion.
'T-There's a few key differences'
[As you can see Master, the 'plot' has already strayed off course.]
"Hahaha!"
Eliana fell back onto the bed and laughed heartily and let out a breath that she herself didn't know she was holding in.