DxD: Matsuda!

     Sunday afternoon on the Kuoh city road side, a dog can be seen following a zombie.

     This strange scene was witnessed by many passersby. What makes this amazing is the zombie is carrying a large hundred pound bag of dog-food, while wearing a woman's pink running outfit.

     This emaciated zombie is only wearing socks not shoes, plus has sunken eyes and a withered expression. His dead-fish eyes watch the sidewalk ahead as he limps slowly to the graveyard he calls home.

     Occasionally the witnesses to this sight would talk about how this large mastiff would walk behind its owner barking and making many sounds commonly heard by dogs. But what was odd was every time the dog would encourage its master to keep going, only tears fell from the zombies eyes!

     Woof [Alpha do not be sad, the master told me to take good care of you! Precious will do her best, so stop crying!]

     I retorted to my new dog,"I told you I am not crying because I am sad. I am crying because I can't feel my lower back and my balls hurt from being drained too much! I-I did not even know that could happen!" Damn my legs hurt and I have no energy left. It was really, really, really good the first two days but,"ALL THOSE FUCKING FAN-FICTIONS LIE!" Sniff.

     A normal human CAN NOT keep up with a supernatural sex bot in stamina and enthusiasm! All those fan-fictions with human supremacist 'aka just be pure human' can go fuck themselves....

     As long as you don't have a supernatural lover it's all good, but I just could not keep up with my angel! I-I said honey let's take a break! Nope none of that, she just pushed me down and did her thing. I did not believe that a man could be taken against his will! Sigh it's right I guess it was kinda fun.

     I complain to no one,"Fuck my balls hurt! The first thing I am going to do is find a way to become a devil, so I can survive my imminent doom, in the bedroom!"

     Woof [Alpha you can do it!]

     Tears fell because unlike Kala, I could hear Precious cheering for me near the bed during all that activity! I-I felt like I was in a porn with an audience! Being able to talk to animals and the like is a double sided blade. Now I know why Ace, The Pet Detective was nuts!

     So I ended up using all of Kala's jewelry she no longer is using and made us a simple ring of gold and a thick gold chain for me to hang my ring on.....

     High school students wearing a wedding ring won't work here. So now that I have that around my neck it is kinda comforting, since we won't see each other for a good while.

     She called me in our holy magic circles not 15 minutes after she left to ask me 'Do you miss me', of course I said yes like any new romance couple would do but those words sent phantom pains in my back. I of course told Kalawarna about my plans for the future and about, if she hears rumors of God being dead to not believe it. The Biblical God and Satan's that supposedly died are just avatars of the true God and his children. sigh

     This is complicated for me. Everything I told her she knows to keep under lock and key, and she was so excited to be in the know of what was truly Happening, things even Michael is unaware of, she did witness it herself at ground zero how even Heaven could not stop me!

     Well believe it or not, part of why I am in so much agony 'lots of pinches' was because I was honest with her about my plans of becoming a devil to get stronger and try to help hero's save the world.

     And I told her that it was highly likely that at least one devil woman was waiting for me, because my Father told me before I was born. Well she was a bit miffed and cut me off from sex for one hour. Best one hour ever! Well apparently she was very placated when she found out that so far she is the only one and my first cough 'in this world'. I of course said nothing of my Earth zero life, because alternate Earths are even harder to swallow than 'God is dead' for most. She only finished me off with I could have NO one night stands, she hated the fallen angels that succumbed too meaningless lust. I promised her this and I meant it!

     Then she dumped 'our' dog on me, gave me all her Earthly assets to use, and finally she gave me her backup phone with lots of personal pictures of herself to ease my loneliness. It does not count as porn if it's your wife right? Well all this was going through my head as I did the walk of shame through the city, sigh.

     But something even more powerful happened to me as I got to my house then that time I controlled Heaven's power or had the best week EVER with a literal angel...............

     At my front gate stood two frozen enemies of mine, the most vile and despicable thugs in Kuoh! Motohama and Issei were standing at my door waiting for me! It was like an old time western showdown.....

     I looked at their two faces, they looked at my zombie form in pink-jogging women's gear without shoes, then they looked at Precious, then back at me! This cycle of staring and silence lasted for at least two minutes until Deputy Precious gave the two desperadoes a low threatening growl! Then both bandits, shaken from my sidekick, opened fire!

     "Thats Karen's dog!", "Where were you all weak?", "Why why why are you wearing her clothes?", "Why do you look like you have not slept in a week?", "Where is Karen?", "Why are you wearing her clothes?", "Are you OK?", "We thought you died!", "Thats that hot woman's damn dog!", "Why are you limping?", "D-Did you have sex with her?!!!!!", "Did you go RAW!", "Are you dating?", "But but where are your clothes?", "Did you get Mil-tans number?!?!", "So how old is she?", "They are worried about you at school.", "100% Thats her dog!", "Where is your V-Card?!!!!!!!", "Did you fill her to the brim?"

     Damn there are a lot of good questions in that pile of trash thoughts they have! That last one made my back hurt though. So if anyone knows how I can explain this it would be great? I am actually drawing a blank!

     I exhale and say,"OK Motohama and Issei, you two have seen too much, and I can't let you live in peace anymore! I have secrets that MUST be protected at all costs. A beautiful woman's dignity is on the line here! So I will tell you two good friends of mine what is going to happen......"

     I then telepathically gave Precious some instructions to follow, then kept talking,"You two will forget everything you have seen today! Why do you ask? Because I have trained my good girl here to perform a specific set of actions upon command! I have taught her to, SICK BALLS!"

     Then on Que, Precious stared at their junk and made mad snapping sounds like she was going to eat their sausages!

     I said,"Precious STOP, good girl!" Damn watching them hold there hands over there parts is funny as fuck!

     I with a grin ask,"Are we clear? I need to go inside now and soak in the tub and rest for school tomorrow, So do you have any NON-Karen or boobs, or sex, questions I may answer?"

     The two shook their heads like rattle drums and said in a high pitched voice,"No SIR!"

     I then smiled and said,"Then I will see you tomorrow, and thanks for worrying about me, even though you drive me nuts sometimes, I could not ask for better friends!" I waved the two off and made my way in.

     For the rest of the day until evening I cleared out a dog run and made sure my dog had lots of comforts around the house and told her what she could and could not do around the house. He-he, dad is in for a surprise!

     Incidentally, I did find out from Precious why she hated everyone, and what she told me startled me, she only did that because that's how Kala had treated everyone, so to be a good girl she acted like her master.

     I also asked why she called me Alpha, and what she said stupefied me! Woof [Anyone that can mount my master and make her pant, is obviously the Alpha silly goof!] woof! Damn so simple huh?

     And as a final touch before my parents came back from Tokyo, I and Precious found a good spot in the yard to make a lifelike angel shrubbery, so we get to see Kala everyday!

     Later that night I fed my folks, and told them I had been sick all week and called out from school and all I did was make the bush-angel and adopt a dog from a good friend that left the country for a while. My mother absolutely fell in love with her when she noticed that every time my dad tried to touch or get too close to her, Precious gave him the 'Sick Balls' look! So damn funny, my dad wanted to cry, but my mom said she gets to stay.

     Late in the evening I left home in the middle of the night to glue a post-it to Issei's forehead while he slept! The post said to [secretly whisper into Sona's ear that he was the Red Dragon Emperor], and that would get him invited to the student council so he can start on a harem of his own! Of course it was anonymous, I am not stupid, well not totally stupid.

     I think I forgot to mention how I got in my home with no keys and not breaking in with animals? Well that is what I did with the wedding bands and gold chain, I just molded the lock to move at my desire and then return it to normal shape, thanks [Earth Control]! Best lock-picking!

     Oh and my Sacred Gear looks like that damn movie comic eye guy's visor, but it is all gold with a black lens. I do not shoot ray's from my eyes! How the fuck can you shoot shit you cant see cuz a big ass laser is in the way?

     Finally I truly entered Low-Class strength after that night. My magic power had manifested. Yay magic! And I seem to have tripled my endurance and stamina. It was either because of the gear or the four days of intensive training!

     [YOU CHEATING WHORE, WAKE UP NOW YOU UNFAITHFUL BEAST, OR I WILL KICK YOU IN T-]

     What the actual fuck! I turned off the stupid alarm and said,"Oh Father, this infernal clock is your doing is-int it?!?!" Sigh, it is kinda funny.

     The parents had left before me for work, and I took care of my dog and left for school, on my way out I rubbed the shrub's breast really fast and said to the sky,"OK dear I thought about you, amen!"

     When I got close to the school gates what I saw blew my fucking mind. Standing behind the President and VP, was Issei with a lecherous smile only I noticed. There is no way she turned him yet, right?

     I walked up to the trio with a dumbfounded look and said,"Hello Pres and VP. Did Issei molest someone again and he is getting expelled?"

     Issei blew up and yelled at me,"NO JERKFACE, I am joining the student council!"

     After my fake freeze for show, I glared at him and said,"Sick Balls!"

     Issei literally dropped into a prostration and said,"Sorry sir!"

     I smiled to the VP and said as I walked in,"VP don't forget white bikini, and do not bring that worm, thanks beautiful"

     As I entered the field I heard teeth grinding from VP and from Issei I heard,"SO COOL!"