Dungeons Are Bad Business

Vee sighed. “You’ve really got to stop doing that,” he said quietly, activating [Third Sight] so that he could properly see the snake dragon around his shoulders. “I know that you can talk, so if there’s something you want to say to me, you should just do that instead of forcing me to try and discern what you desire by interpreting your wiggles. I’m no expert on dragon body language.”

The Expectation shivered but remained silent, and Vee clenched his jaw, irritated. Why was this spirit such an annoyance? Nearly every other spirit he’d encountered – especially those he’d added to his orchestra – had basically fallen over themselves to do as he wished. Only the Expectation continued to act as it wished.

Was it something to do with the fact that it was a dragon? The truth of those creatures was obscured by centuries of tall tales. Some accounts described dragons as monstrous, yet majestic beings, with the knowledge of all languages and secrets of the world. In those tales they were almost worth being worshipped like the gods themselves, a state they seemed to revel in. Other stories painted them as weak, cruel things. Lesser tricksters who put on airs above their stations and made themselves sick with their love of gold. This theory was partially supported by those few who managed to attain the +Blessing of the Wyrm+, as they tended to be consumed by covetousness.

Vee rubbed his chin, thinking. While those two were far from the only descriptions of dragons that he could easily call to mind, a common thread of how to deal with the beasts existed. Like many creatures, dragons respected strength, and for better or worse he was the Expectation’s master. He might as well throw his weight around a little bit.

Summoning his strongest voice, Vee straightened up and said, “Expectation, move to somewhere I can take a proper look at you, and if there’s something on your mind tell me what it is. I command you!”

That last bit sounded a little silly to his ears, but to his surprise there was a shift in both the ethereal and the real as the Expectation started slowly unfurling itself from his shoulders.

“As you wish, my liege.”

Vee noticed the difference in the way the spirit addressed him compared to the rest of his orchestra but said nothing. The process took longer than the [Ghost Maestro] expected; it was certainly slower than when it’d put itself there and he couldn’t help but wonder if the spirit had grown since.

As it stretched to its full size, Vee took in the way its appearance had subtly changed. Its scales were hexagon-shaped now, and they were a riot of every shade of blue imaginable. Flickering light danced across them from the beast’s head to its tail, moving so fast that it took Vee a few seconds to realize that they were the words he’d first seen on the beast. The hopes, wishes, and dreams that gave the spirit its reason for existence; the things that made it an Expectation.

Vee shivered. There were a lot more of them now.

Safety.

Somewhere I can make a name for myself.

Markets full of exotic fruits and vegetables from all across the continent.

A place with [Healers] who can cure my son.

These, and many others that touched on similar thoughts and ideas swirled across the Expectation’s scales. The creature’s eyes burned like briers as its face drew close to Vee’s own.

“There is a way for you to speed your task considerably.”

Vee raised an eyebrow. “Oh? And what might that be?”

“Should you choose to upgrade your class and select [Ghost Artificer], your ability to mass produce ghosts would increase rapidly. Beyond the immediate benefits, as you leveled the class further you’d be able to automate your production considerably, which would prevent you from facing potential shortages like this in the future.”

That was true. Of the three options he’d been given, [Ghost Artificer] was definitely the one he’d been leaning most toward. It aligned with his needs and his lifestyle, and there were dozens of ways that ectoplasmic machinery could help him with his dungeon building goals.

“I admit that I don’t know much about how [Ghost Artificers] work,” Vee said. “And I find it somewhat curious that you do.”

The Expectation smiled. “I know many things, my liege. My kind are attuned to the river of knowledge that spans all time, and free to drink from it whenever we wish. I have studied much since awakening.”

“Then tell me about what I might experience, if I decide to take your advice.”

“Of course. [Ghost Artificers] build and maintain devices that rely on ectoplasm to function. You know this already, my liege, but there is more to it than you probably understand.”

“And what might that be?”

“A servant skill that is usually gained within the first five levels of activating the class. It is called [Transmute Assessor], and it converts a ghost under your command into a spirit of tinkering that can provide you with a basic framework for designing a device to solve any problem you give it. Automation of existing machines, for example, would be child’s play for it.”

Vee frowned. That sounded…somewhat sinister, actually. “Converts? What manner of ghost? Just a mindless drone like the ones in the dungeon?”

“I’m afraid not, my liege. The spirit would have to be one that you have a bond with. A member of your orchestra would serve nicely. They would, of course, lose their personality as it is, but I’m sure that you would find the trade off more than worth it.”

“I am uncomfortable with such a plan,” Vee said reflexively.

“Why? Many of your medium section fiends lack a proper purpose, my liege.”

“And?”

“Your minions exist to serve. Not wanting them to do so is irrational.”

Vee clenched his hand into a fist. “Would any other [Ghost Artificer] skills require similar…service?”

“Many of the higher level ones, yes. Unlike [Ghost Maestros], [Ghost Artificers] see spirits and ghosts as parts. As fuel to be used as needed.”

He was increasingly ill at ease with the cold and uncaring way the Expectation seemed to think, though his rational mind supposed that it was just the beast’s nature and not any sort of malice. Another aspect of dragons that appeared across most of their stories was the simple fact that they were the ultimate utilitarians – that was part of why they’d been unable to peacefully coexist with people in the first place – and expectations of the normal kind had a way of being indifferent as well. That last thought brought an image of Vee’s father to his mind for a moment, though the [Ghost Maestro] banished it quickly enough.

He shook his head. “Then I will not become a [Ghost Artificer]. Sacrificing my orchestra in the name of efficiency does not sit well with me. I will find other ways to improve my operations once the circuit is done, but for now it seems I must content myself with making ghosts the way I know how. If there’s nothing else you wish to say to me, Expectation, I shall be about my work.”

The Expectation bowed its head. Its expression was lopsided, somewhat embarrassed, as if it hadn’t expected Vee to push back against its suggestion. “Of course. I simply wished to offer advice in the hopes of easing your burden, my liege. The gains in efficiency from taking my suggested course are considerable, and I can sense that you are fatigued from your efforts. If you would only consider it more carefully I’m sure that you would –”

“I appreciate the gesture,” Vee said, interrupting with an upraised hand. “But I believe that there are some means that can’t be justified by their ends. I will find a better way. Do not mention this to me again.”

“I see. I will remember that going forward.”

[Determination +1]

[Leadership +1]

Vee deactivated [Third Sight] and the Expectation returned to its familiar perch. In the wake of that conversation, Veee wasn’t so sure that he liked this Expectation around his shoulders. That was an alien sensation for the [Ghost Maestro]; he had a hard time thinking of other spirits that had so rubbed him the wrong way.

Vee stood still for a moment before shaking his head and getting on with it. He had work to do and he could muddle through his thoughts and feelings later. Taking a deep breath, Vee looked at his machines and the piles of refined ectoplasm on the floor in the workroom. The snake dragon had been right in one regard: he was tired and making ghosts would only make him more so.

However, that didn’t mean that he needed to take the first easy solution that presented itself to him. Rortenferry had made the machines, and he wasn’t a [Ghost Artificer]. Like many things, there was probably knowledge that existed independently of any class, and Vee could learn it if he took the time and made the effort to do so.

After the circuit was finished, of course. Everything else could wait until then. Just a few more days.

Grabbing his templates and a few blocks of ectoplasm, Vee activated the first machine and got to work. He pulled the levers and twisted gears, falling into a familiar pattern of movements almost instantly and feeling a warm glow of satisfaction in his stomach as his ghosts came into being. A few times, he felt the Expectation shifting, but it was only the restlessness of sleep and nothing more significant. The snake-dragon did not speak again.

Vee’s thoughts started to drift, and he found himself thinking about his medium section. The Expectation had also been right that most of them lacked a proper purpose. Dandelion seemed to be thriving as Kai’s apprentice. Could another perhaps serve as his own? What would such a thing even look like?

While he was strictly opposed to “transmuting” a member of his medium section into something that no longer resembled itself, was that the same thing as teaching and training one to take a role with more responsibilities? He didn’t think so.

At the same time though, none of the fiends seemed interested in working Vee’s machines. Dandelion had sought out plants and flowers; it had shown signs of burgeoning Green Spirit of its own accord. Perhaps that initiative was the crucial part?

If so, he could give them a chance to display their own now.

Closing his eyes, Vee reached through his bonds and summoned the six members of his medium section who weren’t Dandelion. He continued working while he waited for them to arrive, going through the now well-practiced motions with ever greater efficiency. Using the machines was kind of like playing an instrument, he realized, though he’d never gotten much further with one of those than awkwardly plinking away at a few guitar chords as a teenager. His hands knew where to go of their own accord, and there was a rhythm to his every movement.

It was, in a way, beautiful.

Eventually, the members of his medium section arrived and stood before him. Like the other sections of his orchestra, their appearance was different than it’d been when he’d first recruited them to his service. However, unlike the [Dungeon Maintainers] and the Light Section, whose forms were increasingly tailored to their tasks, the medium section remained somewhat amorphous. Their limbs shifted in size from moment to moment, and their faces still bore the sharp, monstrous features that inspired terror in so many Oar’s Crest citizens.

“How may we be of service?” a fiend asked. Also unlike the [Dungeon Maintainers] and the Light Section, the remaining Medium Section members didn’t have names.

“I’d like you all to look at these,” Vee said, gesturing to the machines. He wasn’t sure if this would work, but figured that it was worth a try. “Do any of you feel anything staring at them? Does the sight of the work inspire any interest? Any desire?”

A moment passed, and then two and so on. None of the fiends said anything, and Vee started to think that his idea of awakening something akin to Dandelion’s desire to work with plants had been in vain.

However, just as Vee was about to dismiss them back to their nebulous suite of duties, the smallest of their number stepped forward. It pointed at the trio of gears on Vee’s biggest machine.

“Am curious about those,” it said. Its voice was soft and raspy, as if it didn’t get much use.

Vee grinned. “Excellent. Then stay here, and I will show you how they work,” he said. “The rest of you are free to return to what you were doing when I summoned you.”

The fiends bowed and disappeared, leaving Vee alone with the one who’d stepped forward. Vee gestured for his minion to approach, and the fiend did so. As it walked, Vee noticed a tiny spark of something blossoming in its gaze. It was delicate, he sensed.

I need to be careful, he thought. Pushing too hard or too fast would be like a strong gust or a spurt of rain; it would extinguish the fiend’s desire.

However, if he nudged it gently but firmly, it would work like a steady breath helped start a campfire.

“For now, I just want you to watch,” Vee said. “Pay attention to what I do and memorize each step, okay?”

“Understood, master.”

Vee picked up the next block of ectoplasm and fed it into the first machine. Another thought struck him as he did so.

“And also,” Vee said. “While you’re doing that, I want you to think of a name for yourself. Something that you’d like me to call you.”

He had a feeling that was important.

The fiend pointed at the trio of gears again. “What are those called?”

“Gears. Cogs,” Vee said.

The fiend nodded.

“Like sound of that. Cog.”

“Cog it is then,” Vee said, pulling the flat sheet of ectoplasm free and sliding it onto the second machine, where it would start to be shaped into the body of a ghost. “This is how we make ghosts for the dungeon.”

Main Character Sheets:

Vee Vales:

Primary Class: Ghost Maestro (Locksmagister University), Level 32

Secondary Class: Dungeon Master (Oar’s Crest), Level 24

Tertiary Class: Guy-Who-Takes-Things-WAY-Too-Far (Self), Level 6

Might: 15

Wit: 40

Faith: 25

Adventurousness: 7

Ambition: 16

Plotting: 19

Charisma: 17

Devious Mind: 28

Leadership: 22 (+1)

Guts: 14

Intimidating Presence: 11

Citizenship: 24

Public Relations: 8

Determination: 7 (+1)

Persuasiveness: 6

Bargaining: 4

Patience: 3

Competitive Spirit: 1

Pragmatism: 1

<3<3 Infatuation <3<3

Alforde Armorsoul (Unchanged):

Primary Class: Hammer Specialist (Self), Level 6

Secondary Class: Right-hand man (Vee Vales), Level 18

Tertiary Class: Dungeon Champion (Oar’s Crest), Level 18

Additional Class: Glaciernaut (Sacha Silverblade), Level 11

Might: 58

Wit: 15

Faith: 28

Adventurousness (Bound – Vee Vales): 9

Endurance: 33

Intimidating Presence: 15

Heart of a Champion: 14

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 9

Vigilance: 11

Vanity: 2

Single-Mindedness: 1

Reginald (Unchanged):

Primary Class: Core Spirit (Unknown), Level ???

#$&Q#$)(@#$#@#$%!@#$##%#%()@#$**@@##

Secondary Class: Loudmouth (Self), Level 43

Tertiary Class: Majordomo (Vee Vales), Level 21

Additional Class: Announcer (Vee Vales), Level 13

Additional Class: Hyperthymesiac (Self), Level 5

Might: 1

Wit: 37

Faith: 17

Ambition: 28

Greed: 24

Deceptiveness: 27

Manipulativeness: 42

$#&*!@!!: !!!

Loyalty: 46

Patience: 11

Irritability: 25

Remorsefulness: 17

Expository Prowess: 23

#%$Pragmatism*#$: @#61$5

Hop@#!! @#$@!@#

@#$@%%^

#4^5#*&_!+++#(@$#

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 9