Demented psycho through the multiverse.

[2320 words]

my brain while writing this was more scrambled than the eggs I had for breakfast, I am tired as fuck, I feel like I'm high and my brain is all over the place, it literally took me an entire 13 fucking hours to manage to write this

well anyway here's a poem

roses are I know you're fourteen, get in my van, don't make a scene

this chapter is written, proof read and edited by me, your only god and savior

{Lustful_Death}

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walking into my bedroom I entered the bathroom. I need to clean some of the residue blood that stained my body and although I would love to lick it off like a cat but since I would rather not get Aids I decided to just soak up a towel in water and wipe down my body.

leaving my bathroom I decided to go to my secret space behind the bookshelf. that's where all the things I prepared were hidden.

walking up to the bookshelf I easily opened it up with one hand unlike before I absorbed the spider, having super human strength made life easier, but that was expected.

after opening the bookshelf I walked down the metal stairs to the secret room below, upon reaching there, there was a large black bag that had all I needed inside, carrying it back up to my room. I put it on my bed and open it.

inside were heaps of canned food, some knives, a can opener, a multi tool, a few lighters and some clothes. the knives were straight forward, just your run of the mill ordinary kitchen knives that you can find anywhere. I took the clothes out, laid them on the bed and closed the bag.

the the clothes I decided on getting for this apocalyptic were a few sets of Identical blue....kimonos? the outfit consisted of a short sleeved blue kimono, underwear and Some clean white bandages. and nothing else, no sandles no shoes no nothing, why would I pick such an outfit?

well there was no need for footwear, heat or cold insulation or protection after absorbing the spider, after all at this point my skin is basically bullet proof, so shoes would not only be redundant but also would get in the way since without shoes I could easily walk on walls or Sealings, in all honesty the knives, multi tool and can opener were also redundant but I'll keep using them since they're convenient and I don't feel like opening a can of beans with my nails, that would get them dirty. 

as for the heat, cold, walkers, bullets, swords or baseball bats, none of those really posed much of a danger to me, I wouldn't really be affected by temperatures unless I was thrown into a furnace or frozen to a piece of ice, I doubt the walkers can bite through my flesh or scratch it, I won't be hurt by bullets unless I was bombarded with them constantly, though that's only if I was shot with a pistol, shotgun or rifle, if I was shot by an anti tank rifle It would definitely be able to shred through me, I could also die from a normal gun if I get shot through the eyes, a blade would sooner snap than cut me, as for lady Lucille, is that even a question, so in conclusion I am really op in this world

taking the clothes I decided to wear, I started putting them on. I first put on my white underwear made of top quality comfortable silk, grabbed a fresh roll of bandages and wrapped my chest, forearms and ankles, and finally I put on my blue short sleeved kimono robe thing but wore only one sleeve leaving the other arm and half of my chest exposed

(image)

'this stuff Is so comfortable', drip acquired, i decided to head downstairs to watch tv, but it was then that I realized that I forgot something really important, so I jumped back to my bag, opened one of the pockets at it sides and took out something that I only managed to get after extensive agony and quite the large amount of money

it was, drum roll please, a set of 50 bo shuriken, which are also known as senbon, of course getting these might seem geeky and it was but throwing these things is so much harder compared to normal shuriken or throwing stars, but in exchange for being hard to learn they are much deadlier, silent and compact compared to Ninja stars that are large, noisy and often only manage graze the opponent, on the other hand bo shuriken with some skill can easily pierce through the opponent and are also very likely to kill if they hit the right places, plus with my strength and monstrous senses I could make these far more deadly than a gun, and they are cool, what? can't I be a child?

(image of bo shuriken)

grabbing around five bo shuriken I put them under the the bandages around my chest specifically the part that's hidden under my kimono

after patting my chest and making sure that they were secured, I took my backpack and went downstairs to watch some television

dropping my backpack on the ground I went to the fridge and grabbed a jar of cucumbers and a jelly donut with sprinkles I had been eyeing since a few days ago. going to the living room I plopped down on the couch and grabbed the remote turned on the TV and prepared to relax

*brrriiing* 

*brrriiing*

the doorbell sounded

"ugh, can't a man relax with some TV while eating a snack", I grumbled while walking to the door

opening I look up at the one who interrupted my chillaxing, a tall muscular black man, he was one of our neighbors if I remember correctly

"hey kiddo I heard some screaming and shouting is everything ok", the nigg- I mean nice African American man asked after staring at my outfit for a few seconds

'oh yea, I did fuck a woman through a wall, she was also screaming the whole time if I remember, I was too absorbed in having fun with her to really care, but wait wasn't that like ten minutes ago, damn this negr- I mean very nice person of African descent is slow', I thought while looking at his pecs that would flex every now and then

(people in the comments chill, or don't. I don't really care. cry about it)

"uuhh, yeah my mom just slipped and fell", I said, still staring at his chesticles (only gym bros can understand)

"you sure? there was a lot of screaming for a very long amount of time", he said, looking unconvinced

"she slipped and fell into a shiv, then she got up and fell into another shiv, then multiple shivs fell from the sealing and into her body", I said, this time staring at his thick, girthy and throbbing veins

{A/N: btw the excuse mc gave is a reference to the flash back from episode 10 of the abridged series "Naruto Shippuden parody, abridged, mishaps, whatever you wanna call it" by the YouTube channel Sasuke's phone. go watch it it's much better than reading this shit}

"oh shit do you want me to call an ambulance", he said while panicking and grabbing his phone

"nah she's fine, would you like to come in and have a look dear neighbor", I said with an innocent smile while stepping aside and inviting him in

"uh ok then please excuse me for the intrusion", he said while stepping inside the house

"oh, please take off your shoes, don't want the house to get dirty, I hope you can understand", I said after closing the door and locking it

"oh yeah I understand", he said as he started taking off his shoes

"but see that's the thing, you don't. but soon you will", I said. being all criptic and being able to play with others without any consequences is so fun

I then walked Infront of him and led him towards my parents room. on the way there he glanced at my clothes that were strewn around the stairs and floors but didn't say anything

reaching the door to the bedroom, I opened it and walked in with the black man trailing behind, once he entered he looked around and saw the broken bed, the bloody hole in the wall and the mess behind said wall, he panicked and tried to leave the room, but just as he was halfway through the door I grabbed one of his large meaty fingers and pulled him back, lifting him up by his finger through the air in a Judo esc fashion, I threw him over my shoulder and he violently crashed to the floor. that knocked the wind out of him

walking up to his fallen body, I stepped on his stomach pinning him to the floor. after a deep gasp for air that replenished the amount he lost he tried to get up which failed, so he tried to push my leg off him which also failed, he also tried to roll from under me which just resulted in me digging my foot in his stomach deeper

after watching the large cockroach struggling under my foot for a bit I opened my mouth

"say, I have something to ask you. I heard an interesting rumor back in the day, which is that large black men like yourself have what they call a 'big black cock', so can you show me?", I said while tilting my head in a cutesy manner

"ugh, you think you're cute?", he said as he tried to claw at my leg, but that was to no avail 

"bitch I'm adorable", I said as I twisted my foot in his gut making him grit his teeth in pain, but he refused to make a sound

"so, what are you dawdling for? hurry up, come on, take off your pants and show me your big black cock, or don't tell me....", I said as I closed my hand and showed my pinky finger in a suggestive manner

he, in response said nothing but glared at me

"haah, guess I'll have to check for myself", I sighed as I removed my leg off of him and started reaching for his pants, I of course knew he would try to run, but that what I wanted, to watch him desperately try to preserve his life just to have it plucked by me, so I gave him a slight hope and as soon as I removed my leg he sprang to his feet and tried to run but I grabbed him by his black hair easily stopping his escape

"naughty boy, you think you can run away, humm that's no good. looks like I'll have to punish you", I whispered softly into his ear as I forced his jaw open with my other hand, I then put my hand inside his mouth and grabbed his lower jaw from the inside, I then did the same thing with my other hand and his upper jaw. and slowly pulled them apart forcing his mouth to open, I smiled wide as i heard it

*snap*, the sound of his jaw dislocating

*crunch*, the sound of it cracking

*tear*, and then the crisp sound as I tore his lower jaw completely

"aaaaahhhhh", and there it was, a beautiful scream full of mind numbing pain and agony, ah how wonderful it is to watch living beings struggle, there's no meaning to their lives if they don't struggle

"ok, that should keep you obedient for a bit", I said as I tore his pants and stared at his black member

"oh wow, it seems what they say is really true, you do have a big black cock", I said evaluating his large girthy member

I then ripped off his cock with my bare hands and replaced it... with a jelly donut

(huhuhu, references fun)

after I was done doing the gods work aka me, I just stepped on his chest making it cave in and kill him, I then stepped on his head, no need for zombies in my house. and with that I walked back to my couch with my blood stained feet leaving crimson foot prints on the floors

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I was back enjoying TV when I heard the doorbell ring again

"ugh why is this place so popular all of a sudden", I grumbled as I opened the door again

"hi, is my dad here, mom says he needs to come back for dinner", said a little black kid that I don't feel like describing

"nope your dad left", I said as I started closing the door, but then he put his foot Infront of the door, little shit

"you sure cuz I kinda saw him come in here and he still hasn't left", the little shit said

"you know what, he is here. come in", I said as I invited someone in for the second time

as soon as he entered and I closed the door i flicked his head with my finger which made it explode like an old watermelon, haha get it cuz black people are known for liking watermelons, I should be a comedian

the doorbell rang again a few more times through that evening and so by the end of the day I had the corpses of an entire six member family laying in a bloody pile in the corner of the upstairs bedroom

'neighbors these days huh, sooo inconsiderate', I thought to myself as I watched a news channel talk about a weird man who attacked and bit some cops today

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my brain was so scrambled while writing this that it literally took me an actual 13 hours to write this no cap