Cycles of Entropy

I didn't want to leave the garden. I couldn't. As a mark of my sister on the world, it did bring me comfort, even if that comfort carried shame on its back. That wasn't all. The air was clean, despite the horrors beyond the garden walls. There was fresh water and fruit on the trees. It was calm, safe, and protected. I didn't want the girls to face what waited on the other side of the cold stone walls. They deserved a moment of rest. A moment of comfort. I had failed them completely; it was only luck that things had turned out even this well.

I'd saved them from burning or being crushed, although I hadn't done half as much as Harrison had. But leaving them behind was... It wasn't the fire that made that a failure. That had been foolish, yes, but it was a minor mistake, comparatively. I had forgotten why I was there. Why I had found them in the first place and why they needed my help. Why leaving them with anyone at all was beyond stupid and selfish. It wasn't until I tried to decide what to do next that it dawned on me. I wanted to see the other mage but I was worried about taking the children anywhere near the spell that caused all of this. I realized, with a knot like a tangled tree root in my stomach, exactly how pointless that concern was.

It was the third day of the loop. The final day of the loop. So, as the futility of everything settled on my shoulders like a familiar shawl, I decided to stay in the garden with them. Junia looked up at me with concern and frustration, the serious set of her jaw fighting her young face and the plum juice running down her chin. "I want to hold Millie," she protested. "I promised I'd look after her. I need to keep her close!" This was perhaps the tenth time Junia had asked to hold her sister but I couldn't let her. I shouldn't have let her before, at any point. Even though she was right. She was a better person to look after her little sister. She was a better person in general. Even so, I was the only person that could hold her.

Perhaps half an hour after I first brought them to safety, Millie still coughed into my arm, struggling with the smoke she had breathed in. "You need to rest, Junia. You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of her. You can hold her when you have recovered," I lied. She scowled at me.

"You said that before but I am fine now! I stopped coughing and everything! I've eaten, and I'm not scared anymore!" she protested. Again, she was right. She seemed to be alright. Perhaps it was the air in the garden or the fruit she had eaten but the smoke wasn't affecting her like it should have. She was perfectly fit to take care of her sister... until she wasn't. I couldn't give in.

"Soon," I lied again, "I'll give her to you soon." She opened her mouth to protest but the creaking of the gate stopped her. My blood ran cold in an instant and I grabbed Junia's hand, running to nearby bushes to hide. My focus had, again, been too narrow. I'd forgotten where Hadley went after he died. Junia came with me easily enough and knew to stay silent. Just like with her mother, she could feel the danger in the air. Still, this only made her want to hold her sister more, and Millie beginning to cry didn't help. Junia tugged at my right arm as I tried to cover Millie's mouth with the arm that held her.

I watched through the bushes as a woman entered. I didn't recognize her but it was clear she was dead. She had the grey skin and bloodied eyes I had grown to expect. With no one nearby she had a face of rage and discomfort. Not quite like the demeanor of the victim of a public shaming, but not exactly unlike it. It was like she hated me but was too focused on the humidity or a bad itch to say something about it. Junia tugged at my arm insistently but I couldn't give in. I had to see where the woman went, and I couldn't give the child to her sister. Much like Hadley, the dead woman strode through the garden with a purpose until she stopped, not quite at the center.

Junia tugged again, this time more insistently as Millie cried into my hand. The woman stood under an apple tree and stared blankly at the bark. Millie squirmed and I felt her snot cool against my hand, but I couldn't let her make any noise. Junia, thankfully, stopped insisting, instead simply holding my sleeve in her hand. I felt a sickly shifting in the earth beneath my feet and my eyes widened as I watched it open up beneath the dead woman's feat. Not in a chasm, or deep pit, but smoothly. It lowered her, almost gently, if urgently, into the ground as she stood still. The dirt and grass seemed to climb her legs as she sunk, clinging to her, even pulling her.

I couldn't see a mage anywhere nearby. Grandma had always told me a mage had to be present for any spell they cast but... I had seen so much since arriving in Beddenmor that challenged that idea. Suddenly Junia's efforts were revitalized, and her next tug on my arm had more force than I would expect. I couldn't react, instead, I focused on the earth as it moved around the woman. It was passing her waist when I spotted it. Teal sparks, disguised by the soil, saturated the earth around her. If I hadn't been certain the time loop spell was involved in some way, I was now. The earth had barely climbed the woman's body, or she had barely descended further when Junia's teeth dug into my arm.

She bit harder than I would have thought possible, and I felt the flesh of my arm tearing beneath my sleeve. But the other woman was still there. I bit into my lip, drawing blood as I struggled to hold my scream back. I felt one of her small hands reaching for my belt. Before I could react she had managed to pull a simple steel clip from it and drive its edge into my shoulder. Water filled my eyes as I bit my tongue to hold the scream back. I pushed her back with my now throbbing arm as she continued to try to chew through my clothes.

I didn't want to look at her. I couldn't look at her. I couldn't cry out. I didn't have the heart to fight back in earnest. The blood stained my now ripped clothes and ran down my arm to Junia's shoulder as I gripped it. The earth continued to swallow the woman and I fixed my eyes on her. It was all I could focus on. The only thing that mattered and wasn't the pain or the reality unfolding to my side. My sleeve tore and Junia started to dig her unkempt nails into my skin with one hand, dragging the steel clip through my arm with the other. I held her back, far enough that my arm was the only thing she could hurt.

After what felt like eons the woman was finally completely taken by the earth. It shifted and the sparks flared as it retook its former shape as if nothing had happened. Finally, I allowed a pained scream to escape my lips as I turned on the girl as she tore at me. Millie cried as I moved my hand and I grit my teeth as my eyes met the bloodied, empty eyes of the child I had been protecting. Everything was fucking pointless. What was I even fighting so hard for? No matter what I did, it would always lead to the same thing. I didn't want to process reality. But as Junia clawed at me, Millie's cries brought me back to myself.

I started to chant, the blue sparks of aura skipping across my body toward the grimoire at my side. It was a grueling experience and my voice wavered as I did it, the pain in my arm and the hopelessness behind its cause trying to pull my attention away. It was more like a desperate prayer than a spell by the time I was finished but, finally, the magic enveloped the violent shell of the sweet girl, and 'Undone' was cast. I couldn't bring her back, but I hadn't tried the spell on a reanimated body yet. It took less aura than I expected. Like her body was embracing the spell. She twisted around my arm, reenacting her attacks on me in reverse until her corpse was finally still again.

Again she crouched next to me, concern forever etched into her dead face. Her skin was the same waxy gray but the blood in her eyes was gone. She remained cold and dead, and my stomach churned but... it was better. The grotesque spell that tried to make her... whatever that was, was gone. Teal sparks danced across her cold skin, and I hesitantly reached out for her. At a single touch, the magic rushed from her and into me. Again I tasted the sweet air and felt the warmth of the figure, wrapping her arms around me. It was brief this time but it was enough. I refocused and watched the body for a few moments. Unlike the first time, it never regained consciousness and I released a strangled sigh. I'm not sure if it was relief or sorrow, but it was all I had for her.

I hugged the still-crying Millie to my chest and sniffed before casting 'Undone' on my bloodied arm. I should have left the garden, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I knew more bodies would come but as I looked at the sweet girl next to me, I couldn't run from them. Better still like her than swallowed by the earth. I wasn't afraid of them anymore. I didn't have to hide, now that I knew both where they went and how to stop them. I didn't have to fear them one at a time, anyway. So I stayed there, where Millie could still be near her sister. When a new corpse arrived, I cast 'Undone' and let them rest. I did this for hours and there were fewer than expected.

Millie stayed with me the entire time. She held out until the sun started to descend past the horizon and longer. Finally, I felt the earth begin to shake and stood. I shuddered and wrapped both arms around my companion. I made my way to the gate with Millie and finally emerged into the empty city. What was left of the buildings was collapsing and I could feel the spell beginning to form. I made my way through the ruined town, covering Millie's eyes when I passed one of the many victims of the Quieted dead. With the increased frequency, it had been a bloodbath. Every hour dozens of people had either joined the violent ranks of the dead or been killed by them. I saw barricaded homes but had little hope for their residents.

As I walked, Millie suddenly stilled and I closed my eyes. I refused to look at her. I couldn't. When she started to squirm again I held her more tightly, whispering the incantation for 'Undone'. I felt it as she again stilled, and a moment later as the teal aura flowed into me. I clutched her tighter as I walked. I knew this would happen at some point. I was lucky she had lasted so long. All I could do was walk, until the pillar of aura burst into the sky. It started teal this time, and it had a less opaque sphere of aura around it. I was already partially inside this sphere and I felt it push against me. It wanted to throw Millie from my arms and I had to hug her tighter to keep her in my arms.

With every step I took, the pressure around me increased until I couldn't move any further. I tried to touch the aura and absorb it, but it repelled me. I stared at the pillar of magic, still so far away. I couldn't get to it. There was nothing I could do. The city crumbled around me and everything was over. I lowered to my knees and hugged Millie, hanging my head. Everything felt so hopeless, but at the same time, a warmth had started to grow in my chest. In a few moments, it would all be over and I could go save Millie and Junia again. It was the end of this loop.

So I waited there, holding the small body as the earth shook and the wind lashed at my body. I waited and everything ended. Once again, I died.

End of the Final Day