Convict Unit: Black Parade

That evening, in the mess hall of Deck 1.

“It’s a chicken party!” Jae-hee bellowed.

The ecstatic inmates chanted his callsign in unison.

“Boy! Boy! Boy! Boy!”

Mountains of chicken were piled high. This was the haul from the Chuncheon Prime Poultry Co. warehouse. While they hadn’t been able to bring it all back, they had still secured an impressive stash.

Jae-hee threw his hands in the air. “Tonight, we eat our fill!”

“Woooooah!” the inmates roared.

Commander Seo had magnanimously bestowed upon them vegetables and spices, so the day’s menu was set.

“The pride of Chuncheon: Spicy Stir-fried Chicken!” Jae-hee shouted, arms raised high.

Waaaaah!

“Stir-fried chicken! Stir-fried chicken! Stir-fried chicken!”

What inmate would turn down free chicken?

The cooking began without a hitch. The mess hall cooks threw themselves into their work, as if determined to prove the ingredients had always been the problem, not their skills.

The general population pitched in, too, helping prepare the evening feast.

Jae-hee paused, inhaling the rich, spicy aroma of chicken simmering in sauce. 

“By the way,” he asked, “are the guys working in the mess hall professional cooks?”

“As if,” Razor shot back, shoving a cart loaded with chicken into the kitchen. “Go up to the higher decks and you’ll find real chefs, sure. But down here, we’re all just inmates.”

“They’re prisoners, too? Then why are they working here?”

“They get a little Credit for their labor. The guys who need it work here.”

“Oh, so that’s how it works.”

After a loud and boisterous cooking session, the spicy stir-fried chicken was finally served. The entire 1st Deck was buzzing with excitement at the sight of a real meal coming out of the mess hall for once.

For this impromptu festival, inmates bought instant rice, soju, and beer from the supply shop to enjoy with their food.

“Wow, I finally get to try it! Chuncheon Spicy Stir-fried Chicken!”

They were out on the ocean, but since the chicken was from Chuncheon, they decided it was authentic enough.

Beaming, Jae-hee loaded his tray with a heaping pile of chicken and sat down. 

Status Window, already at the table, was poking at a piece of chicken.

“But isn’t Chuncheon Spicy Stir-fried Chicken supposed to be boneless desu?” he asked.

Razor shot him a look. “Just shut up and eat what you’re given.”

“And it’s not meant to be served like this; you’re supposed to stir-fry it on a hot plate as you eat. Plus, it’s practically a national rule to have it with buckwheat noodles, isn’t it desu?”

“This damn potato knows his food, but he’s got zero fucking tact. Just eat it and be grateful, potato-face!”

“You know what desu? Potatoes would go well with it as well desu. But this only has cabbage…”

“For fuck’s sake!”

While his two roommates bickered, Jae-hee picked up his spork, figuring he’d get a bite in while they were busy fighting.

“Here goes!”

Jae-hee stabbed a piece of chicken with the tines of his spork.

And just like that, the shocking sensation of his blade piercing Robbin’ Hood’s chest came rushing back.

The pulse he’d felt through the bone as it sank into a heart. The warmth of the blood that had gushed out, soaking his hand. The light fading from the eyes that had stared right at him…

And with a final, fading breath, his enemy’s last words.

“You’re too soft to steal the world.”

“Urp!”

Jae-hee clapped a hand over his mouth and dry-heaved.

Status Window and Razor stopped their bickering and turned to him.

“Boy-kun, are you okay desu?”

“I-I’m fine…”

“What’s wrong? You were eating just fine. Got morning sickness?” Razor ribbed him playfully.

Status Window stared at him with utter disgust.

Razor bristled. “What are you looking at? You expect sophisticated humor in a prison, asshole?”

“Morning sickness is for pregnant women. Don’t you even know basic sex ed? Razor-kun, would you like me to give you a lesson desu?”

“I’mma kill you, little shit!”

Just as the two were about to grab each other by the collar, Jae-hee gagged again.

“Uuurp!”

Razor looked uneasy, poking at the chicken on his own tray. “The hell’s with him? Is the meat bad?”

“No, the chicken is perfectly fine desu. My palate is precise. I don’t know who the farmer was, but they raised this bird with their heart and soul. It’s delicious desu.”

“Hearing that from a pig like you is pretty fucking convincing.”

Having finally composed himself, Jae-hee gave them a shaky smile and a wave. “No, really, I’m fine. It’s okay.”

He picked up the spork again and decisively speared a piece of chicken.

“Man, this smells great. This chicken’s crazy good, right?”

Jae-hee popped it into his mouth and began to chew.

“…too soft to steal the world.”

He clenched his jaw and bit down hard.

***

Paradise Lost was both a prison and a cruise ship.

Up top, luxury was for sale—if you had the Credits.

Below, with none to spare, it was just another prison.

This meant that on Deck 1, daily chores like cleaning, laundry, and washing dishes were all handled by the inmates themselves.

“Ahhh, what great weather.”

Jae-hee, Status Window, and Razor stepped out onto the side deck, soaking in the bright morning sun.

It was laundry day. Once a week, the decks opened so they could wash with purified seawater.

Jae-hee, his arms full of several days’ worth of dirty clothes, let out a gasp of awe. “Whoa, what a sight!”

It truly was a spectacle: hundreds of inmates gathered on the deck, washing their clothes in a primitive fashion by beating them with bats and stomping on them with their feet.

Watching the others cackle as they dumped soapy water into the sea, Jae-hee asked, “But isn’t this bad for the environment?”

“This kid worries about the weirdest shit in a world that’s already going to hell,” Razor muttered, clicking his tongue in disbelief.

“Besides, the Commander’s pet snakes will clean it all up.”

“Pet snake? Oh, you mean that huge snake that’s always circling the ship?”

“Yeah. And the water we’re using right now? It purified that, too.”

The Sea Serpent.

The massive sea snake serving Hae-eun purified the surrounding seawater, turning it into fresh water for the ship.

“It comes around to the aft deck periodically and just spits out a huge stream of fresh water. You should see it sometime. It’s wild.”

“Ehh? So that’s where our fresh water comes from…”

Razor added that it also cleaned up any waste the ship dumped.

Jae-hee was impressed. “Whoa~ That’s one handy sea snake.”

“This whole ridiculous ‘prison cruise ship’ idea never would have gotten off the ground without that snake,” Razor said, taking the lead.

“Then again, what in this world makes any sense these days?” he trailed off, humming a little tune. “It’s a crazy world~…”

Razor deliberately raised his voice as he walked over.

“Ugh, look at these shitters. The stench of prisoner is practically soaked into their bones. It fucking reeks.”

The surrounding inmates, reading the room, quickly cleared out.

“Right here. It’s spacious, sunny, the best spot for laundry. And look at that! It’s empty. Let’s do it here.”

Razor plopped down in the middle of the deck with a grunt.

Watching the other prisoners scatter, Jae-hee looked flustered. “You didn’t have to chase them away.”

“Oi, don’t be ridiculous. Did I chase them? They left on their own.”

Razor tossed his laundry onto one of the provided washboards. “Besides, if you can’t even enjoy a little perk like grabbing the best spot on laundry day, what’s the point of being Deck Leader? Think of the heavy responsibility on your shoulders.”

“Is… is that right?”

Jae-hee didn’t actually have many responsibilities, but now that he had the title, those words sounded awfully sweet.

Yeah, I brought back chicken for everyone as their leader. A little laundry privilege is nothing…

Watching him, Status Window let out a cackle. “Boy-kun, you’re steadily walking the path of corruption desu!”

“N-no, that’s not it…”

For a brief moment, an image flashed through Jae-hee’s mind: himself as the dictator of Deck 1. An old man, having ruled for three hundred years, cackling with a toothless grin…

“No!”

“Dame?”

“What the hell’s with you two morons? Get over here and do your laundry already. This takes longer than you think.”

Jae-hee and Status Window shuffled over and sat down.

Razor, already an expert, showed them how it was done. He scrubbed the clothes with a bar of soap made from some unknown material (eco-friendly, supposedly), then rinsed, unleashing a torrent of black, grimy water.

After finishing a pile in no time, Razor wiped the sweat from his brow with a satisfied smile. “Man, it’s been a while since I did my own laundry. Not long ago, I wouldn’t even get my hands wet. My subordinates did everything.”

“So why are you doing it yourself now desu?”

“‘Cause those subordinates are all fucking dead, damn fatty! Always gotta twist the knife, don’t you?”

Grumbling, Razor powered through the washing.

Jae-hee and Status Window, still clumsy, watched him with impressed “oohs” and “aahs” and started to copy him.

After scrubbing their hearts out, they twisted the clothes dry, each grabbing an end, and then hung them on the clotheslines set up on the deck.

There was something deeply satisfying about the sight of freshly washed laundry fluttering in the breeze. Jae-hee and Status Window clapped their hands in unison.

Razor pointed at the bright sky. “Sun-drying is essential. At least this goddamn ship is out in the middle of the ocean, so we get plenty of sun.”

“So, can we go back inside and rest until they’re dry?”

“You think? Someone’ll steal them. We have to wait here until they’re dry. The sun’s strong, so it won’t take long.”

And so, the three inmates sat down in a nearby patch of shade and began the long wait.

“We have to do this every week?”

“Got a reason not to? It’s not like there’s anything else to do in prison. Some guys don’t, though. They walk around stinking of rot. Get sick a lot, too.”

“Eugh.”

Still, it was a pain in the ass.

As Jae-hee grumbled at the thought of hand-washing his clothes every week, Razor gestured upward with his chin. “There are washing machines on the upper decks.”

“Huh? Washing machines?”

“And on the really high decks, they have dedicated laundromats.”

“Laundromats?!”

“Dry cleaning, tailoring… I mean, you get a little higher up and no one wears these stupid uniforms anyway.” Razor flicked at his shabby prison uniform.

Jae-hee’s eyes widened. That was right. Most of the inmates he went on missions with wore their own clothes, even inside the prison.

“So you get freedom of dress if you move up?” Jae-hee asked.

“Yep. I think it starts on the 3rd Deck. The second I get up there, I’m burning this uniform. And then…”

“And then?”

“First thing I’m buying is a pair of height-boosting insoles…”

Status Window let out a strange cackle. A furious Razor smacked him on the back of the head, but Status Window just bounced back like a roly-poly toy, still laughing.

Jae-hee watched them wrestle for a moment, then tilted his head. “This really is a strange prison.”

Razor released his grip on Status Window’s round cheek and snorted. “It’s a fucked up world with Gates opening, monsters popping out, and Awakened flying around. A weird-ass prison like this barely even registers anymore.”

“Ah, good point.”

The three inmates sat side by side in the shade again, staring blankly at the laundry drying in the brilliant sunlight. A sea breeze swept through, gently lifting the rows of clothes and setting them back down again.

It was a peaceful moment, the first they’d had in a long time.