Conscious, Conscientious

Conscious, Conscientious 4: The Lyrics

1. Enter

(In this song I aimed to capture the hopelessness and fear we find in the main cast at the start of Volume 4. Lammy and Zayza are kidnapped before Deon and Skrili's eyes, and Zayza is left to confront how her past has amounted to this moment)

LYRICS:

Grass is in my hair just like the day when we both tumbled down the hill

All these scrapes like in the garden, mind the rocks and pebbles

Overcast is over us but everyone says it's not gonna rain

And I hope they're wrong, I'd like to wear my hood over my face

(Ooh) Everything I know is crumbling, everything I know is crumbling

(Ooh) Everything I know is crumbling, everything I know is crumbling in my hands

Two cups of cinnamon tea go cold, at least the smell is pleasant

Even all alone I mean it every time I say I--

Coronation balcony today, the spikes are right below it

Tied behind my back, they mean it every time they say they--

(Ooh) Everything I know is crumbling, everything I know is crumbling

(Ooh) Everything I know is crumbling, everything I know is crumbling in my hands

(Ooh) Everything I know is crumbling, everything I know is crumbling in my hands

It was just a shallow dream to belong here

But I shifted from day to night too quickly

Alone and away

It's too cold

I'm afraid and that terror is keeping me warm

This is the storm I've been sheltering from

It stalked me and flooded out more of the ones I love

And this smile's still haunting my head

But it's changed faces

Subverting the grave just to whisper that I might be cursed to be

Alone

(Ooh) Everything I know is crumbling, everything I know is crumbling

(Ooh) Everything I know is crumbling, everything I know is crumbling in my hands

2. Battle of Azvaylen

(As the title suggests, this song retells the events of the fight between the consciousness friends and Proscious. Beginning with Lammy and Zayza's kidnapping and running through the final fight in the Dreamer Chamber, I took a much more narrative approach to these lyrics while using the shifting instrumentation to capture each movement.)

LYRICS:

Just over the hills we find your faces peering back

Reaching to our racing hearts to know your love again

Helicopter rumble, drizzle, call out my name

(Pinch on my neck, it's sinking in)

We tumble where you stood, and watch them steal you away

What is this place?

Golden eyes, and red hair, I know I've seen you before

Rolling away

How can she say she'll end my pain when she created this war?

Wait, it's too soon to assume

Did you already forget the bond you've constructed?

And I'm over this watching you whine

For goodness sake, you’re a princess, so have some spine

Open up and find all you hide

'Cuz I'm busting us out

How can this power be real?

If I abandon them I'll get away

No, I won't be my father

If I fail, I'll regret nothing

(Go

Skidmarks on the road

Cut holes through the sky

Just keep holding on, we're coming for you

One unit, we fly

One purpose, we fight

If they die we're left with nothing)

Justice for our nation

Your execution

Begins

Hang high above your demise

Fall

And you'll kill no more

(You liars

I'll reconstruct the bones you broke

We'll take on your challenge

And you'll kill no more)

Say

I've been thinking

We've become quite a team

Don't you think?

With these ugly vines intwined

With your earring scar and mine

No matter what happens next

I'm glad we met

So when the Window tints the Chamber green

I'll take on Wei myself

And I will bring him to his knees

All across the castle there rings a sound

A song of reckoning barreling towards you

The system dies

Though you try, you'll wither

Empty, colorless cold light will guard her life

I am justice, I’m your worst Nightmare

And I exist to bring you to your end

3. Zayza

(Zayza's theme, beginning with the words from her adversaries (especially Fewpar), and evolving into her anthem as she learns to silence the lies and live out who she knows she can be. Fun fact: this was the first song I ever wrote for the story.)

LYRICS:

Better run faster, 'cuz they're gonna catch you

Better run faster 'cuz they're gonna kill you

Better run faster, Zayza

Better remember 'cuz they'll show no mercy

Better remember 'cuz they'll show no mercy

Better remember, Zayza

You are not what you thought

You are not what you thought

Maybe next time you'll think twice before you

Maybe next time you'll think twice before

Maybe next time you will think twice

Maybe next time there won't be a next time

Maybe next time there won't be a next

Maybe next time, there won't be a Zayza

You are not what you thought (I'm sorry, Zayza)

You are not

I had to recover what I casted away. It was the only way I could defend you from the darkness and danger surrounding me. And now I know why I ran and hid. I feel it again the same as before. I lost nearly everyone…but I couldn't see that I hadn't yet lost you. My pain blinded me. But now I can believe again, because of you. There's still a reason to rise up and face them.

So rest your head on my shoulder and wait. I promise you it'll be alright...Because I know who I'm meant to be now, and I'll run away no longer.

You are not what you thought (I'm sorry, Zayza)

You are not what you thought

When they said I was a monster, did it make their hearts cold?

'Cuz I don't feel cold at all

No, I'm not running anymore

Now that I've found myself

So as the room sparkles green

And you keep believing in me

I'll save you now

I will save you now

4. Hiroko

(Hiroko's theme, written from her perspective before the battle and in those final moments within the Dreamer Chamber...)

LYRICS:

Spark the flame beneath the night sky

Gather our hate

Cast it away

And we'll watch it leave with the smoke into the dark

Maybe we can feel gravity's healing start

Everything repeats over time

Stories of old, and stories unfold,

So we'll make our own

Calm our hearts as one tonight

And when tomorrow comes, mine will keep yours beating through the fight

I'll cover your head

When the words are attacking

And pressure builds around

My melody will silence all of the sound

Your precious eyes and golden light

Will not ever flicker out

Every breath I take is yours

Every day with you is my sanctuary

Heroes aren't born in the light

They come from shadows and blood

And shine cuz they can still love

That's what I see in you now

Keep an eye on them, alright?

Cuz when I'm chasing the sacred they'll need your sight

I'll cover your head

When the lies are all stabbing

And hatred builds around

My melody will silence all of the sound

Your precious eyes and emerald light

Will not ever flicker out

Take my haven as your own

Every day with you is our perfect harmony

I wanna build a whole world

Where you would never be scared

And we could laugh with the stars

But if I'm all I can give, just know

Everything I did was for our love

Now nothing can destroy you

I'll cover your head

When the sun is descending

And towers tumble down

My melody will silence all of the sound

Your mind is where I'll bury mine

Cuz I know you won't forget

Every breath I took was yours

Every memory is our eternity

Your faces vanish behind the blinding beam

Flesh fades, mind polarizes

As it bursts into fragments, shards materialize in the abstract

And every last one will sustain this transcendence to hear your voice