Conscious, Conscientious

The Ancient Sage stood with Lammy and Zayza by the pond in the damp, cool air of the morning. The black trees all around the haven looked just as shadowy as the night before, despite the budding daylight.

Lammy noticed the darkness around Zayza’s eyes was even worse than last night. She appeared less rested than before she went to sleep, glaring ahead with a jaded expression. Lammy wondered what she must have gone through in the Dream World.

He felt a bit guilty, since meanwhile, he felt incredibly rejuvenated. He had never slept so well in his life; the hut’s aura certainly put him at peace.

“Your clothes and travel gear should be dry by now,” said the Ancient Sage. “Be sure to claim them before you begin your journey.”

“Wait—we didn’t lose those?” asked Lammy. He had assumed he left it all behind when he escaped with Zayza, but it seemed he had taken these along for the ride.

“I found them in the pond not far from where you landed,” the Sage explained. “Now, your guide should be arriving momentarily…”

An instant later, a small, furry creature fell from the trees and landed expertly atop the Sage’s head. Its fur was rainbow-colored, and it had three perfectly round, red eyes. The funny creature smiled at them, revealing a single sharp tooth, as its long tail wagged in an endless spiral.

“This is Wobble,” the Sage introduced.

“What is it?” wondered Lammy with a smile.

“Yes, exactly,” said the Sage.

“Huh? No, like what is it?”

“Yes,” repeated the Sage.

“This creature is a whatizit,” Zayza clarified. “Not much is known about their kind. I suppose I never lost my memory of them.”

“Oh…” uttered Lammy. “Yeah, that name’s not confusing at all…”

“What’s good, my new acquaintances?!” greeted Wobble. Its voice was high-pitched and charming. “I’m stoked that I shall guideth you on thine journey! It’ll be groovy!”

What’s with the inconsistent dialect?! Lammy wondered.

“Wobble likes to pick up language from travelers it has guided,” the Sage said. “Now, Wobble, please lead these two to my sister. Tell her to grant them the earrings.”

“Ah, yes, the earrings…” the Wobble seemed to recall. “Come with me! Verily, It shall be a totes fun quest!”

The Sage led Lammy and Zayza to a branch where their belongings were hanging. After they repacked their bags, they followed Wobble to a slim path just beyond the pond. The creature hopped the whole way there with its stubby legs, occasionally using its spiral tail to rebalance. Every time it landed, glitter shot out from under its feet.

When they reached the entrance to the path, they turned and faced the Ancient Sage once more.

“Children, stay together for this journey,” she urged. “Whether you continue to do so or separate after you arrive depends on the earrings, but for now, you must stay together. And be prepared—this may be the last day of your friendship.”

Lammy didn’t like the sound of that. But when he glanced at Zayza, she seemed intrigued by the idea.

She must still want to push me away…for my own good, he thought. Even considering her self-sacrificing intentions, it still hurt.

He was already beginning to miss her smile and encouragement.

“Now, off you go,” said the Sage.

Wobble let out a laugh, and began hopping from branch to branch along the path. With a nod, Zayza followed.

“Thank you for all of this…I wish I could repay you,” Lammy said to the Sage.

“You can, by holding true to your convictions,” she replied with a smile. “Farewell.”

With some reluctance, Lammy turned and followed their guide.

~

“The power of friendship!” Wobble cried joyfully. “But love is blind!”

Wobble had been proclaiming random phrases like these every few minutes, for the past several hours, as Lammy and Zayza followed it along the bumpy path. Lammy couldn’t decide if he appreciated the breaking from silence, or if it was incredibly annoying. Wobble was the only one to speak at all since their travels began.

Zayza’s utter wordlessness was so different. She simply walked, never averting her stare from the path ahead as the darkness around her eyes remained. Her tattoo-like scars blended seamlessly with the pitch-black trees all around. Lammy struggled to accept this new version of her.

It was crushing.

“You can’t handle the truth!” Wobble quoted cheerfully. “A bloke from Normal Country taught me that one,” it said back to them as it bounced from branch to branch.

“Do they…hurt?” Lammy decided to ask Zayza. He felt like he was testing boiling water with his bare hand. “The…markings?”

“No,” muttered Zayza.

“I’m glad,” said Lammy. “How’s your energy? Did you get your full strength back?”

“Somewhat.”

“Oh.”

Lammy felt he had tested the water enough. He fell silent again, wondering if this was how things would be from now on. Would this journey to the Sage’s sister really be their last day together?

And if it was, this was how it had to end?

“Love is patient, love is kind!” sang Wobble. “It is…it does…uh…aw, butter biscuits, I remembereth not the next part!”

~

When darkness befell the Black Forest, it came quickly. Lammy guessed this was due to the terrain’s already dim appearance. He could barely see Wobble by now, so he relied on the glitter twinkling off the creature’s feet, along with the many random phrases it would share.

The Sage had sent them off with some unfamiliar vegetables, since the water had spoiled their food from Our Snowy Village. They ate the (oddly bitter) vegetables as they walked earlier, and Lammy was thankful to find it filled and energized him quite a bit. But now it was wearing off, and he was beginning to wonder when they’d call it a night.

“Dark! The absence of light!” observed Wobble. It abruptly hopped down onto the ground in front of them. “You two good? I’ve been literally talking to myself for the entire day—I usually only do that on my days off, no cap.” It snickered.

“Sorry,” said Lammy. “We—there’s just a lot going on.”

“Don’t be! The Sage smiles upon you, so I think you’re dope, too!” Wobble turned back around. “Let’s hit the hay. We’re close, but lo—the darkness shrouds us. It’s kinda hard to see and stuff.”

Wobble led them off the path and climbed high up into a branch. Lammy wondered if it expected them to do the same, but then a pink light poured down around them and encompassed them. It scooped Lammy and Zayza off their feet, and when they sat, they realized the ground felt unnaturally soft.

Lammy and Zayza looked into the branches to see Wobble hanging there with its mouth wide open, letting a constant, soft “Aaaaah…” ring out. The pink light was pouring from its mouth, and its three eyes were spiraling in sync with its tail.

“You’ll be safe under this,” Wobble assured between ‘ahs.’ “And yes, I’m about to just hang here and do this the entire night. I’m weird as heck, no?”

Lammy couldn’t help but let out a laugh. But he was too scared to see if Zayza would smile, because he knew she wouldn’t.

They unstrapped their bags and lay down. While this force field of light was relaxing, its brightness did make it a bit hard to fall asleep. But on top of that, something else kept Lammy up for a bit:

The day was over, just like that. The Sage said this could be his last day as Zayza’s friend, and it was already over. They had one exchange, and nothing else. He felt a pain in his chest as he thought about it.

Don’t shut me out…he pleaded in his head.

~

“No…please, no.”

Those words awoke Lammy with a jump. It was still dark out beyond the pink light’s protection. Zayza was asleep beside him, tossing and turning.

“It hurts…”

In his groggy state, Lammy assumed it was a nightmare. But as his mind cleared, he remembered Zayza was in the Dream World. Something was happening to her in there…something dreadful.

He quickly crawled over to her. “Zayza,” he said.

“Don’t…don’t…stay away…I don’t want to hurt anyone…” she begged, shivering.

Lammy touched her shoulder lightly and said her name again, but she didn’t wake.

Should I do it? he wondered. Should I try to go into the Dream World again? There was the strong chance she’d try and push him back out as soon as she noticed him, but…as her friend, wasn’t it worth the try?

Heart beating fast, he leaned down closer. My head was touching hers…he recalled. He placed his hand on her shoulder again and prepared to connect.

As soon as his hand touched her, Zayza shot upright, her eyes bursting open. She let out a brief cry. Gasping for breath, she looked and saw Lammy beside her.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, you’re back,” Lammy said quickly.

Zayza finally caught her breath. There was a softness in her eyes as she looked at Lammy—the same softness that was always present until Najinzu had tortured her.

“Thank you, Lammy,” she uttered. “Thank you for waking me.”

“Of course,” said Lammy. “You…seemed pretty scared.”

“My memories…some of them have still been attacking me,” shared Zayza. “They’re unrelenting. All I know is that they’re memories I don’t want back…I can feel it. But they keep coming.”

“That’s…horrible,” said Lammy.

“And I can hear him, too…Fewpar…he’s trying to find me,” Zayza added. “He feels far from us, but he’s trying to figure out my location.” She looked at Lammy again, but something seemed to click in her head suddenly. Zayza inched away a bit as her expression grew cold. “Don’t, Lammy.”

“What?”

“Please…I shouldn’t have said that…don’t concern yourself with it, okay? Don’t worry about me.”

“I’m very worried.”

“Don’t be. I’m not safe.”

“That doesn’t make me less worried.”

For a second Lammy thought Zayza was about to snap at him, but she kept quiet, turning her shoulders from him. “Just…go back to sleep,” she muttered. “I’ll just stay up for the rest of the night. I can’t go back in there.”

Lammy nodded confidently. “Alright, then I’m staying up with you.”

“That’s the opposite of what I said…”

“I know.”

“Please, Lammy…”

“I’m doing it, and you’re not gonna stop me,” Lammy insisted. He realized his tone felt uncharacteristic. Rather, he sounded like he was reciprocating someone else’s words. Then he smirked when he realized who he resembled.

It was Deon. He couldn’t count the nights he’d be crying in his room over something silly, and then Deon would barge in through the window. Regardless of how many times Lammy insisted he was fine and strong, Deon would stubbornly spend the whole night with him, until he was able to sleep—even if that meant pulling an all-nighter.

A tear fell from Lammy’s eye. He wiped it before Zayza could notice, and then he crawled over and sat right next to her.

Zayza sulked, refusing to make eye contact. Eventually, she hugged her legs and dug her face into her knees.

“…Okay,” she mumbled reluctantly.

For hours, they sat together in complete silence (aside from Wobble’s continued soft note). Lammy checked on Zayza many times, but she caught herself any time she began nodding off. He wasn’t sure if it was better to let her fall asleep and join her in the Dream World, or to try and keep her awake. It seemed either way she would be suffering.

“How did you do it?” Zayza asked.

Her question filled Lammy with hope. He didn’t even have to prompt her to speak to him this time.

“How did I do what?”

“Enter the Dream World. Only Dreamers can do that.”

Lammy shrugged. “I really have no idea…I was just scared, and I felt like I failed you. I just wanted to help. I put my head against yours and my eyes felt really hot, and then, I was just there.”

“Hm.”

“I don’t understand how it happened…the whole teleporting thing, either,” continued Lammy. “I just…felt strongly. I think I imagined a catapult somehow, which whipped us out of the carriage. And then I teleported us, just like my mom.”

“Your mother?” Zayza repeated.

Lammy realized he hadn’t even filled her in on what he learned from Fewpar. “My mom is safe,” he said. “Fewpar said she somehow sent all of us far away. She protected us. It doesn’t make any sense, though…my mom has barely ever used her powers, and she never told me she could do anything like that…or that I could…And why didn’t she teleport us into Tailpiece? Why so far away?”

“Maybe she wanted to, but couldn’t,” Zayza suggested. “It’ll be okay, I’m sure it’ll all make sense someday, Lammy. I’m relieved your mother is safe.”

“Thanks…” Lammy said. Then he looked at her accusingly. “Hey wait—I’m supposed to be comforting you, not the other way around! Stop being the better friend,” he joked.

Zayza didn’t quite react to this, but Lammy knew it was just her exhaustion. As he spoke, she looked like she was barely holding her eyelids up.

They became quiet again, and Zayza struggled to stay awake as the forest gradually started to brighten with the sunrise. The clearer the view around Lammy became, the more nervous he grew. He hoped this new day wouldn’t prove to be the end of their friendship.

What are those special earrings supposed to do, anyway? he wondered.

By the time it was light out again, Wobble’s pink rays disappeared. The ground’s softness returned to its natural texture, as well. Lammy shifted, preparing to get ready. He checked on Zayza once more.

Her arms were beginning to slip from around her legs, and her eyes had closed. He was about to nudge her awake, but then Wobble plopped onto the ground right in front of them.

Zayza sluggishly reopened her eyes and lifted her head in response.

“How did everyone sleep?” Wobble asked. “Terribly, of course! You both stayed up all night, and I hung above you shooting a light out of my mouth, because I don’t sleep! What a dumb question!”

Wobble wiggled its behind, and then leaped into a nearby branch. “Anyways, we’re almost there! Move it or lose it! Onward, comrades!”

Lammy and Zayza climbed to their feet and strapped on their travel bags. Lammy felt a bit tired, but the extra energy from spending time at the hut seemed to help. He knew it wouldn’t be the same for Zayza, though, as she dragged herself along. In fact, he noticed the darkness around her drooping eyes had intensified even further.

“You gonna be okay?” Lammy asked as they followed the now much hillier thin path.

“No,” Zayza snapped. She turned from him and gazed ahead, wincing with irritation. “I said don’t worry about me. So…back off.”

We’re back to this again…but worse, Lammy noticed. While it stung quite a bit, he tried not to take it personally. He couldn’t fathom everything she was processing through.

They traveled for only another couple hours before Wobble said something about being close. Zayza stumbled along a bit behind them. Every time Lammy turned to check on her, his heart sunk. She had become opposite to her usual self, looking on with such emptiness and annoyance. It was obvious the sleep deprivation was getting to her, on top of the identity crisis waiting for her in the Dream World.

“This forest is hideous,” Zayza grumbled.

Wobble took a grandiose leap, flipping and sending glitter into the air. It stuck its landing on the path and posed triumphantly. “Yes!” it agreed simply. “Also, we’re here!” It hopped off the path, into the trees, so Lammy and Zayza followed.

Soon the forest opened up into a small clearing, and immediately, Lammy’s head spun with confusion.

Did we just walk in a huge circle this whole time?!!

Before him was a haven identical to the one they had just travelled from. The multicolored pond, the hut, and the firewood were all there. Even the Ancient Sage stood there, greeting them with the same kind, black eyes.

But after a moment, Lammy realized the layout was slightly different. This hut was black, matching the trees all around, and looked a bit bigger. Meanwhile, the pond was smaller.

“Greetings, Wobble,” this nearly identical Ancient Sage said. “And greetings, youthful strangers.”

“Yo, Ancient Sage!” exclaimed Wobble. “I have travelled with these two youth from your sister’s haven. She requests that you please grant these two—”

“The Earrings,” the Sage finished. “I can sense their needs…their expressions make it clear.”

“You guessed it, O wise one,” Wobble confirmed. “Welp, peace out!”

It leaped into the trees, and just like that, Wobble was gone.

The Ancient Sage stared into their eyes quietly. As Lammy looked back, he felt uneasy. While this Sage looked almost exactly like the other, even down to her warm face, he felt a looming fear as he looked at her. She held the key to a future he was scared to find.

“They say I’m more intimidating than my sister, but I don’t get it,” the Sage said dismissively.

“What…are the earrings?” asked Lammy cautiously.

The Sage sighed. “Come with me.” She led them towards the black hut, and Lammy noticed she had a much less difficult time walking than her sister. Once they reached the entrance, she turned and faced them.

“I don’t waste as much time as the other Sages, so let’s get right to it,” she began. “Looking at you, my sister was right to send you to me. I can sense your future pain. You’re trying to run, and hide. You’re each trying to protect the other, but you have opposing methods for doing so.”

Lammy couldn’t fathom how both Sages could understand so much about them while barely knowing who they were.

“My earrings are charmed with a special enchantment,” continued the Sage. “If you wear them, your true identity becomes hidden. Even if you keep the same name, they wipe clean any previous memories of your life from those you’ve encountered thus far. You will start over with mostly everyone.”

“…Mostly?” Zayza asked.

“The only ones my earrings will not affect,” said the Sage, “are those who know your true self.”

Lammy felt his fear increase. “True self?” he repeated

“For most, this means no one. For others, it means the few who fully accept who you really are. But you will only know when I give them to you.”

The Sage stared at them seriously, seeming to gather further understanding in the process. “You are both worthy of my help, so I offer this gift to both of you. But I will give you time to think about it. Come in when you’re ready.”

She turned and entered the hut, leaving Lammy and Zayza alone outside. Both needing to rest their legs and backs, they unstrapped their bags and sat against the hut. Zayza seemed to keep her distance on purpose.

“So if we take these earrings, we can hide from Fewpar and Najinzu,” Lammy said. “We can hide in plain sight from anyone who wants to hurt us.”

“Not if the person they hate is the real me,” Zayza pointed out darkly.

“It’s not.”

“It is.”

Lammy decided to let it go—he wasn’t about to convince her of anything. “Wait…but…if we get the earrings, won’t we…forget each other?”

His heart pounded harder, the longer Zayza didn’t reply. She knew it was true, too. If this worked, it meant they could hide. But the cost was to forfeit each other—to forget their friendship.

If Lammy forgot Zayza, especially in her current state, he knew he would be afraid of her. And she would immediately go off alone, not wanting to let anyone get close. It would be impossible for anything to be the same again.

Now, he understood. He knew what the first Sage meant when she said the earrings would only help one of them protect the other. If Zayza accepted the earring, she would get exactly what she wanted: Lammy would forget her, and so he wouldn’t be able to worry about her anymore. She could protect him by removing him from her life, and he would never even know.

Lammy’s anxiety skyrocketed when Zayza stood up.

“I just want to ask her a question,” she said, walking towards the entrance.

Once she reached it, she paused and gazed at Lammy. She opened her mouth to say something, but decided against it, and entered the hut.

Waiting had never felt so stressful. Lammy tried and failed to calm his breath, as he wondered what Zayza could be asking the Sage.

Wait…

Oh, no.

“NO, ZAYZA!”

Lammy sprung to his feet and ran inside the hut, but he was too late.

…What was he too late for, again?

The Ancient Sage stood behind a beautiful young woman with dazzling green eyes and brown hair. She sat on a stool holding her hair back, and the Sage’s hand was on her ear. The Sage removed it, revealing a thin, black earring.

The young woman stared at Lammy with tears falling from her dark eyes. She appeared completely heartbroken.

But he didn’t understand why.