Conscious, Conscientious

Lammy felt peace. Wherever he was, it was quiet. And warm. All of his pain was completely gone.

He opened his eyes to see the wooden roof of a hut, made of countless firm branches woven together. A large torch burned in the corner, giving the room a soothing dull light. Through an uncovered window on the wall, Lammy could see it was dark outside.

He looked down and realized he was lying in a bed, under a thin tan blanket. Aside from his underwear, all of his clothes were gone. He heard someone’s slow, rhythmic breath beside him.

Lammy turned to see Zayza was right next to him under her own blanket, fast asleep. He blushed intensely once he realized she seemed to lack clothing under her covers, as well.

“Uh…um…” Lammy stammered nervously.

Somehow, she looked slightly different, like an alternate depiction of the same person. Lammy couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was. Actually, something about the whole hut’s atmosphere appeared equally peculiar.

Zayza seemed relaxed and back to her normal self, but the darkness around her eyes hadn’t faded. They looked incredibly jaded and distressed, despite her otherwise peaceful expression.

She mumbled something in her sleep, and then fell silent again.

“Zayza…?” whispered Lammy.

“She required much more healing than you,” came a hoarse voice from the entrance of the hut.

A small old lady walked in slowly, leaning heavily on her elegant wooden cane as her colorful hooded robe dragged behind her. She had very long gray hair, tied up in a frizzy mess on top of her head. Her small eyes were black and very defined as she looked upon Lammy with a diffusing calmness.

“Where are we?” Lammy asked, sitting up. “And…how did we get here?”

“You’re in my haven,” the old lady explained. “As for ‘how,’ now that’s a trickier question. Last evening, I saw a flash in the sky, and then you two fell out of it and crashed into my pond.”

It started coming back to Lammy: that desire to get Zayza away from Fewpar and Najinzu…the feeling of catapulting out of the carriage…a white flash…and then falling into the water. He remembered the burning in his eyes.

“I…did all of that…?” Lammy uttered. “I teleported us?”

“I assume that’s a rhetorical question, because heck if I’d know,” the old lady commented. “Oh—what lovely eyes…” She was looking at Zayza now.

Lammy turned to see Zayza had come to. She lay there, staring back at Lammy with a hint of confusion. Her green eyes seemed slightly larger, and their color was even more brilliant than normal. The darkness around them only heightened their intensity.

“Zayza, you’re alright now,” Lammy said. “I think…I actually don’t really get what’s going on.”

Zayza shot up and leaned away from him with a shout of fear. Noticing most of her clothes were gone, she quickly pulled her blanket up. But her back and arms were exposed, and there were black, thin markings all over her skin: the scars from Najinzu’s torture.

However, the lines appeared much more like tattoos than scars. In a disturbing way, they were beautiful, forming intricate shapes and designs all over her body. While all of the markings on her arms were bold, about half of the ones on her back seemed faded, like they were older.

Zayza looked down at her scars and shuddered, trying to cover them up.

“I managed to heal all of your wounds,” said the old lady. “But unfortunately the fresh injuries will remain as scars, just like the ones you already had.” Her face flooded with utter pity. “You poor child…what have you been through all these years?”

Lammy leaned forward a bit to comfort her.

“NO! Stay away from me!” Zayza cried, shrinking back.

“Zayza…it’s just me, I’d never hurt you,” Lammy urged.

Zayza shook her head repeatedly, like a child refusing a bandage. “No…no…” she muttered. “I…I don’t want to hurt you.”

Lammy stopped. “But…you wouldn’t.”

“I remembered how to kill someone in the Dream World…why do I know that?” Zayza asked, her eyes filling with tears. “Why would I know how to do that?! And who is Vayva? Why am I so scared of that name? Those men keep saying I’m dangerous…what did I do to them?!”

“They…they don’t know the real you,” Lammy urged. “I know you’d never hurt me. I know you.”

Zayza’s glare cut right through Lammy. It was one of both terror and deflection. She was trying to push him away with everything in her being.

“No you don’t—how can you? I don’t even know me,” she shot. “You should stay away from me.”

“Zayza…” Lammy muttered.

“I believe you should give the girl some time alone—she’s clearly been through quite a lot,” the old lady cautioned tranquilly. “Come with me. I’ll give you some clothes.”

Reluctantly, Lammy stood from the bed and followed the old lady. She reached into a nearby basket and handed him clothing. Then she led him outside into the night.

Before Lammy left the hut, he looked back at Zayza one more time. She held her head in both hands, shaking as tears fell.

She’s falling apart…Lammy thought.

Lammy took a minute to get dressed behind the hut. The old lady had given him a white undershirt and a hooded black tunic, made of the same woven material as her robe. He also wore white pants and soft, thin slippers. The clothing breathed nicely in the warm air.

He stepped out from behind the hut, noticing this lady’s “haven” was small and encased in thin, black trees. Torches lit the area all around. There was a pond across from the hut, and oddly, it was glowing with ever-changing colors. That must have been where he and Zayza landed after they teleported.

The old lady was sitting on a log in front of a campfire, so Lammy joined her. He sat quietly for a moment, but he had too many questions to let this last.

“Where is this place?” he asked.

“As I said, this is my haven,” the old lady repeated. “But, since you’re asking again, you must not be from this area. We’re in the Great Black Forest—part of the Northern Woodlands of Fantasy Country.”

“Wait—we’re in Fantasy Country? We were in Realistic Fiction Country before.”

“Fascinating…” noted the old lady. “Tell me child, why did you come here?”

“I…don’t know…we were in trouble, and I wanted to get us out,” Lammy shared. “I just wanted to be somewhere safe…to take Zayza somewhere safe.”

“Ah. Well, that explains it,” the old lady concluded. Satisfied with his answer, she said nothing more.

“Um…why does that explain it?” Lammy pressed.

“The charms I’ve placed around my haven allows anyone seeking reprieve to find it,” said the old lady. “That is, if they can get here. It seems, child, that when you teleported from your dangers, your desires drew you to my magic.”

Charms? Magic? Lammy thought. Fantasy Country seems really different from Realistic Fiction Country…

“However, I’m not a consciousness; my power doesn’t reach beyond this reality,” the old lady explained. “You must have teleported here on your own, and then your wishes connected with my charms.”

Lammy touched his eyes, recalling the heat he felt. I did what my mom did, he realized. “If you don’t mind me asking, just who are you?”

“An Ancient Sage,” she responded plainly. “Like all of the Sages, I am nameless, to preserve our purpose. We provide help to those who seek it—but can only give it to those who deserve it.”

Lammy stared at her in wonder. That sounds really intense…

“You’ll find Fantasy Country is full of overdramatic systems such as this,” the Sage said with a warm smile.

“But…you don’t even know who we are,” Lammy said.

“I’ve never known who any of my guests are, and I never will,” said the Sage. “I only know what they deserve.”

“Well, thank you for healing us.”

“Do not thank me yet, my boy. My job is not done, because you are still here,” the Sage said, looking into his eyes closely.

Suddenly, the campfire’s flame shot up higher, reaching towards the top of the trees. The glowing colors in the pond intensified.

“Now, I need to ask you something: are you sure?” the Sage questioned.

“About what?”

The Sage smiled. “You know precisely what, but I’ll elaborate, nonetheless.” Her gaze grew even more powerful. “Are you sure you want to help her?”

“Of course! Zayza’s my friend!”

The Sage sighed. “My child, two paths lay before you: one where your suffering ends here, and one where it continues.” She leaned forward. “If you choose to help your friend from this point on, you have chosen the path that inevitably ends in pain, for both of you. I have sensed it.”

Lammy fell silent.

“If you choose not to help the girl, suffering will only come to her, and you will be spared. You must decide.”

The Ancient Sage stood, and slowly started walking towards the hut.

“I’ve already decided,” said Lammy. He thought of his family: Deon, his mother, father, aunt and uncle, and even Savannah. He was always the sensitive one, never able to use his powers right, or help his father with farming, but not one of them ever judged him for it. Instead, they pulled him closer. If he was down, they were down there with him.

What Zayza was going through was infinitely worse than anything he’d experienced, but he knew how it felt for someone to pick him back up and wipe his tears. Now, for the first time ever, he had the power to do that for someone else. Especially with these strange new abilities developing, he had what it took. He had already saved Zayza before, and he wasn’t about to give up now.

“Zayza is my friend,” Lammy said soberly. “If she has to suffer either way, then I pick the option where she doesn’t have to do it alone.”

The campfire’s flame weakened to its original height, and the pond’s colors faded back to normal.

The Sage kept walking. “You are strong, child. Tragic, and strong,” she said.

“So um…what should I do now?” asked Lammy. “I don’t exactly think Zayza wants my help right now.”

“You know why she pushes you away.”

Lammy nodded, even though the Sage wasn’t facing him. To protect me, he thought.

“Wait here—I must now speak with the girl,” the Sage said. “It’s in the job description.”

~

Lammy sat staring at the campfire, lost in thought. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed. As soon as the Sage had entered the hut, he had taken the chance to cry. He needed to let it out again—for Ryan, for Zayza, and for himself. Even though he thought he had run out of tears in the carriage, his fear of Fewpar and Najinzu crept up on him.

But they only lasted for a moment, and a new feeling replaced this: he was over it all. He had enough of this peril. He didn’t want to see Zayza like that ever again. If Fewpar and Najinzu ever found them…

…He would protect his friend.

Lammy wiped his eyes as he felt the burning sensation return for a moment, and then vanish. What even are my powers? he wondered. I can barely imagine on one hand, but on the other I can teleport? And now I can go into the Dream World?

It was all so much. It was scary, but empowering.

He was so lost in thought that he didn’t notice the approaching footsteps until they were close. When Lammy looked, his heart skipped a beat: Zayza stood beside him, staring into the fire.

She had changed into new clothes from the Ancient Sage. Her hooded tunic was similar to his, but it was a faded light blue. The sleeves were short, so her tattoo-like black scars were visible all over her arms and hands. Her white pants and slippers concealed the scars on her legs.

Zayza looked stunning in front of the fire. Even the darkness around her vivid eyes contributed, giving her a tragic beauty.

She glanced at Lammy with a small frown, and then returned her eyes to the flames.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“For what?”

“I can’t smile at you,” she answered.

“Huh?”

“When we first met, I noticed any time I would smile at you, your eyes would fill up with joy. So when everything got scary, I decided I’d smile as much as I could around you. I knew you were so scared being far from home, so I wanted to comfort you. But also…”

Lammy watched her quietly. He could tell she was trying to pick her words carefully.

“I’m realizing now,” she continued, “I was also trying to comfort myself this whole time. I don’t know how much of it was really me—the cheerful attitude, the positive outlook, the smiles…I can’t tell how much of it was just to ease my mind, and how much was my true personality.”

She ran her hand through her hair. “Some of my memories are starting to come back on their own, and it’s scaring me,” she shared. “After you left the Dream World, they were coming in fragments, like they couldn’t wait any longer. I’m getting glimpses of my past self, walking down a dark hall, drinking from a goblet with strangers, attending some sort of event…and in none of them, I’m smiling.”

Zayza looked up to the sky and sighed. “I’m not truly saying what I came out here to say…”

She faced Lammy and gazed at him seriously. Everything around her radiant face went foggy, just as when Lammy had first met her. Only now, it was all dark.

“I’m so sorry I’m trying to push you away, Lammy,” she said with watery eyes. “I’m becoming someone other than the friend you made back in No Man’s Land, and I’m scared of her. I don’t want whoever I really am to hurt you.”

At first, Lammy didn’t know what to say. But one thing was clear—still, all Zayza wanted was to keep him safe. She may not have been able to see it now, but he could tell her caring, empathetic personality was still there. That was still the Zayza he knew. She was a bit different now, but so far, it was still her.

Lammy wanted to convince her of this, but he wasn’t sure if it was the right time. Nonetheless, with nothing else to fill the silence, he opened his mouth anyway. “Zayza—”

“You two have the eyes of those who wish to hide,” the Sage suddenly interjected. She now stood across from Lammy and Zayza, though they never saw her walk up to them.

She winked at Lammy, and somehow he knew she was saving him from saying something stupid.

“My sister can help you hide from those who wish you harm,” the Ancient Sage said. “If you travel to her together with my blessing, she can grant you a gift. But it will only help one of you protect the other.”

“Will it keep Lammy safe?” Zayza asked.

“That depends entirely on the nature of your friendship with each other,” said the Sage slowly.

Lammy wished this wise old lady didn’t have to speak so vaguely. “Well…where do we go? How far is it?”

“A little over a day’s journey,” the Ancient Sage said. “I will call on a friend, who can guide you. But you must wait until the daylight, so rest here for one more evening.” She began to walk away.

“Thank you. Um…where do you want us to sleep?” Lammy asked.

“Oh, I’m not sending you off to bed right now, unless that’s what you want,” said the Sage. “Do you two like hot chocolate?”

~

Lammy had never had hot chocolate until now. But he definitely liked it. A lot.

After the Sage took their mugs and put out the campfire, she led them to the hut. Picking up on Lammy’s discomfort about sharing the one healing bed with Zayza, she set up some extra blankets and pillows on the floor for him beside the bed.

“Meet me by the pond in the morning,” the Sage instructed.

Just when Lammy was wondering where the Sage planned on sleeping, when she blew out the torch, she disappeared with the smoke.

What the…wondered Lammy.

He hadn’t realized how tired he still was until he lay back down. His whole body was fatigued, perhaps from whatever healing treatment the Ancient Sage had given him. Despite all of his worries, his tiredness and the soothing feeling emanating from the hut gently lulled him to sleep.

~

Zayza’s eyes shot open.

“No…no, no, no,” she stammered. “No, I fell asleep…I don’t want to be here…”

Everything was pitch black.

She tried to remember how to leave the Dream World on command. As she thought hard, a purple orb faded into existence a short pace away. Desperate, Zayza started running towards it.

But just as she did, another purple light shot straight through it, sending it in fragments everywhere. The offending light was the shard of another memory.

Zayza dove to the invisible ground and narrowly dodged it as it zipped over her. The shard stopped, turned, and then came back after her. But this time, more shards appeared around it and followed.

“Stay away!” Zayza yelled, running once more.

“Oh—it’s you, scum…” came a voice in the distance. “Tell me where you are in the Real World, immediately.”

The shards froze in mid-air. Zayza looked into the beyond, to find the blue silhouette of Fewpar peering to try and see her.

“Just as you can’t escape from your memories,” began Fewpar, “you won’t escape from me.”

“NO!” Zayza cried.

A monstrous explosion of green light shot out from in front of her and headed straight for Fewpar.

“We’re too far apart in the Real World; there’s no way you can actually hit—” began Fewpar, but then he turned and started sprinting. “Oh, for the love of—HOW?!”

The blast reached him, and he was launched away, nowhere to be seen.

As soon as he was gone, Zayza heard the glimmering shards shoot at her again. Frantic, she kept running, but they continued to close in.

One zoomed right past her ear.

“Vayva…” she heard it whisper.

“No…”

“You can trust me with everything…” whispered another.

“No!”

“I know I can trust you…”

“Vayva…”

“Vayva…”

“You can trust Vayva…”

“NO!!!” Zayza screamed, falling to the ground. In response, all of the shards stopped. Then they retreated faster than they had arrived.

“Wake up…wake up…” Zayza pleaded as she lay alone.