Congratulations on Your Magical Girl Duties

74 – Magical Mock Battle (1)

The situation unfolded with dizzying speed.

As usual, I had barely returned from the café when my dormitory comrades suddenly started dragging me to some unknown location.

“Senior, we have to hurry!”

“We’ll be late!”

“Inferior types! Run faster, it is!”

In truth, “dragging” was the more accurate term. Sora gripped my wrist and ran, so my feet barely touched the ground.

“Hey, let go a little!”

“It’s because you’re slow, Senior! There’s no way a guy could be faster than us in the first place!”

“Guess not.”

Then, I ended up face-planting into an obstacle that suddenly appeared in the middle of our path.

“Ah, damn it.”

“Sorry! But there’s no choice right now! Just hold on a little, Senior!”

Amidst all that, Sora abruptly hardened her expression, even managing to speak between moments of urgency.

“Senior, what did you even show Muyo? I had no idea a Magical Cerebral Hemorrhage would suddenly burst.”

“Look, let go of me a little and then ask. Please.”

“That’s not possible. This is seriously urgent.”

In Lez’s case, she’d only shown her the, quite literally, ‘king spot,’ and she’d suddenly collapsed.

Magical Cerebral Hemorrhage was just a term; it seemed like a pre-existing condition had flared up. Well, she was a lunatic, so it wouldn’t be strange if she had one or two chronic ailments.

Anyway.

My head was a total mess because of it. The situation was already incomprehensible, and now I’d been smacked in the head, so my thoughts wouldn’t connect.

By the time I came to, I’d arrived at a rather peculiar place.

It’s hard to describe precisely, but comparing it to facilities I’d seen in the military, it was like a large gymnasium and shooting range combined into one, quite dilapidated place.

However, it was decorated in such a cute way that it also looked like an elaborate mental institution.

Meanwhile, Whitedog, Sora, and Taishi were all breathing heavily, sighing with relief.

“Phew, didn’t go ‘rate’…….”

“That was almost a catastrophe…….”

“……We were so close to fucked-up, you know. I forgot, I did.”

What on earth was happening that made them all like this?

“What’s with the fuss? Where even is this?”

“They’ll explain everything when we go in anyway. Let’s just go inside quickly.”

I was half-pushed by Sora into what looked like the gymnasium.

Inside the building, an enormous number of magical girls were paired up in groups of four or five. They were probably gathered by Magical Dormitory units.

I didn’t know why the magical girls were gathered, but I knew where I was now.

【Magical Training Grounds Accident-Free: 3012 Days】

In other words, this place was the Magical Training Grounds.

Just then, the Magical Company Commander stood on the platform, grabbed the microphone, and began to speak.

「I will begin the explanation.」

The chaotic atmosphere instantly subsided, and the Magical Company Commander cleared his throat before continuing.

「As of today, right now, we will be conducting a Magical Mock Battle.」

He had only said one sentence, but I felt I roughly understood what was happening.

“It’s a mock battle, so that must mean a virtual duel between magical girls. Likely with the intent of assessing each other’s strengths and compensating for shortcomings.”

Well, not bad. If this improves the combat abilities of magical girls, then defeating the Aberrants will only become easier.

“The Magical Mock Battle will proceed in the Magical Simulation Rooms in the rear, same as before.”

Indeed, behind the Captain, multiple rooms stood in a line. Each one was a bit bigger than a tennis court.

In the old days, one might compare it to military simulation training. Though, that’s just a manner of speaking; the reality is probably quite different.

“Hey, but is this really that important right now?”

“Yeah, participation is voluntary, but if you don’t, all your leave gets cut. My life will literally be a mess.”

Definitely worth participating in then. Especially for Whity, who needed leave more than most.

Practically mandatory, in other words.

“Plus, if even one person doesn’t show, it’s Magical Collective Responsibility. That’s why it was unavoidable earlier.”

“Ah.”

Only now did I understand why everyone was in such a hurry, why Sora had resorted to such forceful methods to drag me along.

Collective responsibility still exists?

Turns out magical girls and the military aren’t so different after all.

“The format is Magical Captain Battles. A magical dormitory designates another magical dormitory as their opponent.”

Personally, I was a bit surprised.

I expected magical girls to fight together, but it’s a captain battle where they fight one-on-one.

“Shouldn’t we be fighting all together?”

“That is the proper Magical principle. But the Magical Mock Battle is conducted virtually once you enter the Magical Simulation Room, see?”

“And?”

“If multiple people enter at the same time, it requires a lot of Magical processing power, which results in a large Magical electricity bill. So it’s unavoidable, they say.”

In simpler terms, they were doing this to save money.

No wonder I’d seen the magical girls who were previously in administrative roles using scrap paper compulsively. That same petty frugality had reached even this far.

Well, I’ve been fighting alone all this time anyway, so the conditions aren’t bad, at least from my perspective.

“Being designated, you can refuse, but in that case, your turn gets pushed back to last. Keep that in mind, everyone.”

Still, do I have to fight everyone here at least once? That’s a bit of a burden.

“Squiddy, surely we don’t have to fight everyone here even just one time?”

“That is not the case, inferior being. You only fight once, and afterwards, you receive Magical Feedback.”

That was definitely a relief. Honestly, fighting against that many opponents would be tough even for me in my prime.

“Prior to the mock battle, you can each set one condition for the Magical Simulation Room. There can be duplicates, so the mock battles will proceed with a minimum of one and a maximum of two conditions.”

No sooner had the Company Commander finished speaking than a large screen materialized beside her.

“Here are the conditions I just mentioned.”

The options were surprisingly diverse. Not only environmental factors and obstacles, but also less defined elements like gravity and field of vision could be configured to some extent.

In my case, a cramped space with plenty of obstacles would probably be best. Whatever the case, I need to get close, and ambushes are easier that way.

At that moment, two items at the very bottom of the screen displaying the conditions were highlighted.

One: UNLISTED.

The other: MAGICAL SAFETY: OFF.

“If you choose ‘Unlisted’, the mock battle will not be recorded, either audio or video. The exterior and interior will be completely isolated until the mock battle is over. You can choose this if you wish.”

But, the Company Commander continued.

“Be aware that if you choose this, you will not be able to receive Magical Feedback.”

It was strange that such a condition existed for a mock battle intended to improve skills.

There was no better opportunity to objectively evaluate oneself than receiving feedback.

However, the next item was even stranger.

“Under no circumstances should you select ‘Magical Safety: OFF’. If you do, it won’t be a mock battle, it’ll be the real thing. Absolutely do not choose it.”

Why on earth would there be an option to turn off safety features?

What if someone gets seriously hurt?

“Shouldn’t that be removed? The former is understandable, but the latter is just bizarre to have.”

“They said if they delete that one thing, everything will crash. They can’t even revise it now.”

“Ah, spaghetti code then.”

A surprisingly realistic answer.

Well, I can understand it. If messing with one thing could cause everything to spiral out of control, it’s better to just leave it alone.

“The Magical Procurement scandal, they messed everything up trying to meet the commit date. The related company already skipped town.”

Of course, there were other issues besides programming problems.

Korea, now and then, remains the same.

Bribery is overflowing, just breathing, here.

However, one question did arise for me.

“Is there anything good if we win this? Anyone know?”

Is there any reason to try hard?

I could just declare defeat right away.

“The winning Magical dorm will be excluded from most magical work, that’s what I heard.”

“Simulation battles?”

“Of course. The victors get to lounge about while the lesser sorts are put through their paces, *koreyo*.”

There was certainly reason for the other magical girls to be wearing such warlike expressions.

Whether soldiers or magical girls, if it meant shirking duty, they’d obviously be desperate. Judging by what she was saying, this was just a simulation, so no one was going to die.

It just felt a little unfair that it was spatially restricted. Though, trying to find fairness in magical girls, which were basically the same as the military, was already absurd.

“So, since the space is limited, isn’t the magical girl on the front lines unconditionally advantageous?”

“You wouldn’t know since you’re a newbie, but since this is a virtual simulation, the spatial restrictions are rather generous, *wayo*. Of course, there are still limits, *wasayo*.”

“So, there are basically no restrictions. Does that mean it doesn’t hurt either, since it’s virtual?”

“Ah, that’s not the case, *koreyo*. You still feel the pain as-is, because of the Magical Pain Sensors, *wayo*.”

It felt like they were chasing realism in the wrong place.

Still, considering that the simulation was for preparing for real battles, it wasn’t entirely incomprehensible.

“I can roughly guess the reason, but it’s still pretty strange that they implemented pain.”

“One must overcome pain to reach *Nirvana Straum*, so pain is essential, *wasayo*.”

Rather, I couldn’t understand that octopus spawn’s way of thinking.

That b*tch wasn’t going to give me a moment’s respite.

At that moment, the company commander must have been trying to wrap things up, because she mentioned the word ‘last’.

「Lastly, please keep in mind that once a simulation battle starts, it will only end when the time runs out, or one side is judged to be magically combat ineffective.」

After that, she announced the official start of the simulation battles.

「From now, please select the Magical Living Quarters in which you will conduct the simulation battle. Once decided, please enter the Magical Simulation Room.」

Anyway, the company commander had finished speaking, so there was a need to act as quickly as possible.

The number of Magical Simulation Rooms was numerous, but woefully inadequate compared to the magical girls here.

In other words, the faster you act, the faster you can go.

“Let’s pick one quickly and get it over with. Where should we go? Do you have somewhere in mind?”

At that moment, Whitey raised a finger, pointing at one of the magical girls.

“The place with that *maho shojo*. The other *maho shojo* aren’t that difficult either, but she’s incredibly easy.”

She was a very gloomy magical girl.

Especially because she kept fidgeting, it felt like I would catch depression just by getting close. Frankly speaking, it felt a little unpleasant.

“What kind of magical girl is she?”

“A time magical girl.”

“You crazy b*tch, how are we supposed to win against that?”

I knew Whitey was a lost cause, but never imagined he was *this* hopeless.

How could one even fight against the control of time?

“Without a corpse, she can’t do a thing.”

“Ah, *that* time?”

There was a reason the magic girl was so restless. No corpse, naturally meaning no magic to wield.

Judging by the gloomy muttering even now, she seemed to be reaching the end of her rope, mentally.

“Oh, oh dear. It’s so itchy down there.”

“For god’s sake.”

Just a matter of lust, then.

Or maybe she’d caught the poison.

My motivation took a nosedive. Weren’t there better options than fighting *this* girl?

Everyone here was touched in the head, but even so, this was a bit much. Even in a simulated battle, somehow I sided with the poisoner.

Meanwhile, Whitey, oblivious to my hardening expression, grinned and wandered towards the dormitory belonging to that magic girl.

“Huh? What’s up? What?”

And was immediately stopped.

“Halt.”

A magic girl with wild, yellow hair barked the blunt words.

Right. The magic girl I’d seen before.

One of the magic girls who tormented Taishi.

Simultaneously, a magic girl I instinctively recoiled from.

She now blocked Whitey’s path.

The magic girl passed Whitey, whose face was a mask of confusion, then stopped dead in her tracks before me.

And then, she spoke.

“I request a simulated battle with you.”

Pointing at me with her finger.