Checkpoint Regression

I hear a faded voice yelling at me to wake up. A maid slaps my face, jolting me back to consciousness. I breathe erratically, still reeling from that hellish nightmare. 

My face stings from the pain. I press my palm against my cheek. 

Several of the servants scowl as I glance around the room. One of the maids steps forward and chastises me.

"You were screaming in your sleep." She rolls her eyes.

"I…I'm sorry," I mutter glancing around them.

They leave after jeering and mocking. 

I wait until they are gone before I let myself cry. Tears falling like a waterfall.

Eventually, I calm down. My eyelids are swollen and my nose is stuffy. 

I'm back again, I look around the room in disbelief. 

I glide out of bed and rush to the newspaper. 

"I really am back," I sigh bitterly.

Another chance— well— third time's a charm.

Why me? Why must I suffer again and again?! I'm angry at the divine. 

I crumple the newspaper from frustration and throw it on the floor.

I storm to the bathroom and wash my face with cold water.

So I died again…

But I'm back. Back in hell. Replaying the same thoughts like a lunatic.

I stare into the bathroom mirror. The reflection stares back, exhausted, empty, blank. All too eerie.

I sit at the edge of the bed, peering out the window. 

The door slams open, and Benjamin barges in.

"You," he says in a cold demeanor.

"Don't you ever get tired of this?" he snarls.

It's repeating, I whip around, rising to my feet. 

"You pushed Lisette on the ground. You think I wouldn't find out? Huh?" he proclaims angrily.

He walks toward me, fists clenched. He swings– a critical blow to my stomach. I collapse, coughing and wincing, tears stinging my eyes.

He turns and walks away without another word. 

How many times do I have to endure this?

Moments later, after I regain some strength, I manage to crawl to the side of my bed. I use it to try pulling myself to my feet.

A sharp pain emerges from the side of my shoulder. As the pain spreads across my body, I'm on my knees again, struggling for air. 

Give me a break!

The intensity of the pain becomes unbearable. My vision becomes blurry and my muscles tense up. With each gasp for breath, I can feel my body weakening, desperate for relief from the excruciating agony.

 I am left on the floor, drooling from the corner of my mouth. I lie exhausted, with my eyes closed for what I believe is a moment.

 I open my eyes, the sun beaming down, hours have passed. The pain has subsided slightly, but my body still aches. My mind feels foggy. It's nearly noon.

I crawl over to my bed and grab onto the bed sheet to help myself up. 

"Phew!"

I go to the bathroom, discovering something as I probe the source of the pain. My skin bears the imprint of a flower.

Faintly familiar. 

Tracing the delicate lines of the flower on my skin, a glimpse of a distant memory begins to resurface. A symbol of something significant from my past. 

"I know I've seen this somewhere, but where?" Puzzled.

 I rack my brain, trying to remember. Suddenly, a flash of recognition hits me.

Mother's journal 

The cover is adorned with the same flower. 

It's a book that she kept hidden from everyone except me. I need to revisit the pages of my past.

The journal's current location is hidden somewhere in the abandoned house.

"Damn! I have to get it somehow" I curse under my breath.

"How strange—I thought I saw her on the floor earlier," a voice remarks.

I immediately hide the mark and step out of the bathroom. Lisette stands in the middle of my bedroom, observing her surroundings. 

"Oh! That's where you were," she sneers at my disheveled clothing. 

I feel a wave of embarrassment wash over me. I try to make an excuse for my appearance. It is clear that Lisette caught me off guard, but I can't help but wonder,

How much did she hear?

She invites me to tea while spewing the same nonsense as previously.

Great, bitch one found its way into my room, bitch two should enter soon, I reason.

Three, two, one…

Benjamin enters my room exactly as predicted. They begin berating me like clockwork. I watch them cluck and chuckle like chickens— a couple of barnyard rejects. They finally make their way out of my room.

I huff and lift my head to look at the ceiling. I am drained of the exchanges, but the show must continue.

 I prepare for the encounter with the devil at his office.

 I head to his office. This time, I knock without hesitation.

"Come in," he responds.

He's behind his desk as always. Despite knowing what is going to happen, I ask him nevertheless. I tell him about having Lisette engaged instead. He treats me with the same animosity that one might mistake me for his arch nemesis. 

I play my part like usual, no suspicions that I have changed 

His voice drips with venom and contempt, making it clear that he took pleasure in my suffering. The air in the room grows heavy with tension. I brace myself for the verbal onslaught and violence that are about to ensue. 

After suffering torment, I return to my room. Without a moment's respite, a maid appears to inform me that my presence at lunch is required. 

"Wait," I tell her, tending to the wounds left by that cretin's magic. 

I follow her downstairs. She points me to my seat at the table. 

The same routine. Same seat. Same harassment. I listen to the horde of gremlins. Hearing their voices, I could feel my rage rising. I crave retribution for all the wrongs they've done to me. 

I want them to choke on every breath they breathe.

After lunch, I'm told to pack my possessions immediately. I gather my belongings and head to the wagon that is waiting for me. The same misaligned wheels. Same rusted blood. Same driver. Except the dread intensified. 

 We depart on our journey. Just as we leave, I glance at hell.

He's there again. The same unsettling expression… like he knows something. 

Back to the back roads, I continue my journey.