Checkpoint Regression

 "I wish I could fly," I murmur, eyes closed, leaning on the balcony rails.

The breeze tangles my hair and the warmth of the sun kisses my face. For a moment, I imagine what it would be like to be uncaged from this hell. 

"If you wish I can make it happen right now," Lisette says, slithering to my ear like a snake, with her sudden appearance.

I open my eyes in shock, spinning around.

When did she walk in? I didn't hear a single footstep,

I hold my breath.

 I step back into my room, keeping my distance, knowing she will push me to my death without hesitation.

Lisette stands with a sly smile on her face, her fingers clasped behind her back.

Lisette is the mistress's— now the duchess's—child. 

She shares her traits with Benjamin's: ebony hair, blue eyes, cruelty, arrogance. The list goes on. 

The only thing we have in common is our age.

"Come now, sister. Don't be afraid. I personally came here to invite you," she says sweetly.

Her words flow from mouth like poison coated in innocence. 

"Invite me for what?" I ask softly, as the past me would have. I can't raise suspicion that I've changed suddenly.

"You know I have to look better than you in front of your fiancé. He is not officially yours until you turn twenty, but that is irrelevant," she crosses her arms, "Whatever you have will eventually become mine," she sighs, as she places her palm on her cheek feigning innocence. 

Truly, you are a wolf in sheep's clothing, I can vividly remember how skilled she is playing the innocent. 

I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Pitiful. Hunched back, frail arms, dull skin. 

I look less like a noble and more like a beggar. 

Compared to me, Lisette truly fits the appearance of a young noble lady. 

"No I-" 

Before I can reply, Benjamin returns.

"What is happening?" Benjamin questions in an apparent attempt to condemn me.

"Oh it is nothing brother, I was inviting her to some tea," she smiles sweetly at him.

"Lisette, your kindness is truly saint-like," he sighs, patting her head, "Even after what she has done to you, you invite her to tea. If only she could learn something from you," he says, clearly siding with her.

Bitch one wasn't enough, now a wild bitch two has appeared. 

I stare off into space, ignoring them as they continue their conversation, berating me.

They eventually leave after throwing a few more unpleasant remarks to have tea in the garden with Belinda—Lisette's mother and current duchess. 

"Finally! They are like energy-sucking leeches" I breathe out, frustrated. 

First things first, I need to go to that bastard

I make my way to the main office, where he will be. 

Cold feet isn't going to help, I steel my resolve.

My heart racing, I can nearly hear it pounding out of my chest. 

Readying myself,

"One, two, three" I clench my fists and raise my arm to the door.

"No, I can't do this." I hesitate. My hand drops. 

 I lower my head with diminished confidence. 

Glancing at my feet– a sudden flashback to how bloodied they were. 

I turn around and stare into the long hallway, gathering my confidence with each breath.

I turn back to the inevitable door. 

I raise my hand and knock on the door before the courage I had built up leaves my body.

"Come in," he calls.

He raises his head to see me fiddling with my fingers. He stands tall, with black hair and elegant blue eyes. His beauty is compared to the heavens, according to the maids. 

But they overlook the ugliness of his heart. Even the devil would bow to praise him for the cruelty of his heart. The man known as the Duke of the East—Cecil Alarie.

"What do you need?" he asks coldly.

"I have a request, Duke. I want to be sent to my mother's quarters in the Shadow Grove," I tell him bravely. 

I've never called him father or dad, because he was never one to me. 

Why is he cold to me? 

I don't know. 

He pauses what he is doing and casts a dubious glance. The air feels heavy. 

My breathing is shallow.

He is suppressing me with his magic, the air in my lungs is diminishing.

He halts his power, and I collapse on the floor. Tears welling in my eyes, helplessly gasping for air. He approaches and steps on my leg.

"Ow…" I clench my teeth. 

"Now, why on earth do you want to go there?" he questions like an inquisitor.

"Please excuse my impoliteness. I just thought it might be better if I wasn't here getting in Lisette's way," I tremble, closing my eyes tight. 

He steps off my leg and squats down. He grips my face, questioning what I had spoken. 

Ah the devil— my eyes widen as I see him up close for the first time in my life. 

I inform him of Lisette's desire to be with my soon-to-be partner. He steps back and clicks his tongue. He wipes his hand with a towel, implying I am filthy.

"Get out," he demands fiercely.

I don't need to be told twice. I scatter as quickly as I can with my frail legs. 

I reach my room and quickly shut the door. Leaning up against the door, I look down at my trembling hands.

"Fuck him and his family. I am going to free myself of this hell hole", I curse, falling to the floor.

I am planning my escape when I hear a knock at my door. It is one of the maids appearing displeased. 

She relays the news that I am required to attend lunch. 

Oh, this is new.

I follow her downstairs to my seat. The four of them are seated together, whilst my seat is far from reach. 

They looked like a picture perfect family. I'm envious. 

How annoying. Perfect painting? Yeah right! It's painted in shit.

The Duke makes a statement about Lisette's early birthday present. He announces my annulment and reveals that she would be getting engaged on her twentieth birthday. 

I am overjoyed hearing the news of my annulment, but it must not show.

They are a match made in hell

I mask my delight playing my role as I would have done in the past.

"Then what about Hel?" Belinda pretends to be concerned for me as she sighs and places her palm on her cheek.

Like mother, like daughter. 

"Don't be concerned about her, honey. I'm moving her to that location. Shadow Grove," he says, while gently smiling at her.

I know I asked for this but it is moving all too fast.

My breathing quickens.

Shadow Grove, the eastern woodland. Currently plagued with monsters according to the Hunters Association. It used to be a beautiful place, brimming with radiance, until strangely one day it became vicious. 

No warning, all too sudden, baffling the empire. 

 The location where my mother was kept. 

Unparalleled beauty–golden hair like silk, unlike mine. Eyes like polished obsidian.

A beauty so delicate that it was haunting. 

He abandoned her like she was nothing. It makes my blood boil merely by thinking about it.

Belinda is far inferior to my mother's beauty. Common traits that make me wonder why her. She is cunning, I'll give her that.

Maybe because her father is a baron? Has money? He is a businessman after all, he would know how to set his daughter up for a business deal. 

Their dynamic is far too complicated for me to understand why things happened the way they did. 

One thing I do know is I must reclaim my mother's honor. 

 I want to gag. Their interactions– gross. But I have to keep a neutral expression on my face. I sigh. 

They ridicule me for the remainder of lunch. They bathe in my misery like a horde of goblins.

I go back to my room to gather my bags and get ready to depart as instructed. 

I was informed that I would be transferred inconspicuously in a carriage through the back roads, but something isn't right.

"Hurry up, I have assignments to complete" the driver snarls.

What I am given is not a carriage, but a wagon for transporting creatures. 

Wheels misaligned and crusted blood stains in the corners. 

My stomach churns in suspense of what awaits me on the journey. I knit my brows together as I board the wagon. 

"Please God," I beg, closing my eyes tight, wishing to avoid trouble.