Casual Heroing

How do you do the slow-motion walk, the cool strut, the fearsome stroll? Whatever. How do I walk into a deadly Dungeon and also look cool?

Is my brain shooting these thoughts at me to distract me from my imminent death? Most likely.

I look at the globe of [Light] and tweak its spell matrix to have it shine brighter.

Oh, you didn’t know I could do that, right?

Well, there are 529 Cantrips. I had to learn something useful at some point.

“It’s as bright as the sun,” I hear Antoninus’s voice say.

“Brighter than you, for sure,” Lucillus snorts.

Is this the famous military humor? Insult each other in stressful situations?

I tuck a thumb in the rim of my jeans. It seems like a cool move.

“Lucillus, move one of those stones in front of the entrance. Block it, at least by sight. The monsters don’t know we have opened it yet.”

We can’t let monsters escape, right? I mean, we can’t let the boss escape. Do they use the word ‘boss’ for the biggest monster in the Dungeon? I don’t think so.

While Lucillus is sealing the entrance with the help of Antoninus, I look around. The ceiling is surprisingly tall for a mining operation. Elves are tall, though, so that may explain it.

It’s also not as narrow as I imagined it.

Good or bad?

Probably bad.

More space for the monsters to evade.

“Does this mine have any larger chambers? Or is it fairly narrow?” I ask aloud.

“It has a system of different caves connected by narrow tunnels.”

Well, that’s bad.

My new main attacking spell is more suited for narrow spaces. I mean, I have two good attacking spells. But they can be dodged.

I think.

I still have to figure out a homing system. That would make this easy.

Oh, right.

You don’t know my level, now, do you?

Or my class.

Ha.

Well, let’s just say I’ve made quite the progress.

I baked a lot, but heartbreak is tremendously good for hobbies, like practicing magic. And I immersed myself in it like nothing else before.

I hear a rattle and a scuffling on the naked rock.

“There’s a pack coming.”

Antoninus’s voice has some urgency in it.

What disturbs me, though, is not his voice. It’s the otherworldly screams that erupt when the first skrathingies pop up in sight. They take one look at my [Light] orb, and then they collapse to the ground, shrieking.

“For Pete’s sake, that’s so loud,” I say while looking nervously at those creatures.

“Let’s end them before even more pour out,” one of the two [Guards] says.

“Stop it,” I announce as my hand goes out to stop whoever was going to advance on those monsters. “I need to try something.”

Two offensive skills. One I gained by leveling, and the other by twisting the first.

I don’t really need to multi-cast. With time, I discovered it takes much more Mana than usual to multi-cast. The more spells you put together, the more the cost skyrockets exponentially. So, I’ll just cast in quick succession.

I tighten my grip on the steel wand that Stanimal gave me, and I feel a weird power seeping through my hands up to my brain. Trippy.

“Well, make it or break it,” I murmur.

[Advanced: Light Blade]

I’m currently thirty yards or so from the creatures. Quite far, in my books. But I’ve practiced this move in a far more difficult scenario, thanks to the book. Yeah, one of the Cantrips required me to hit moving [Lights] that the book would generate at different distances. That is one of the things that stumped me for a couple of days.

A blade made of light shears through the group of monsters like a hot knife through butter. I have never used it on living things before. Just on trees, at most. But I do remember cutting a couple of trees down in succession. So that’s that.

The splat of the dead carcasses is the most disgusting sound I’ve ever heard.

“For all Immortal Ancestors,” Antoninus swears by my side.

“That’s…” Lucillus is equally surprised.

I sigh.

“I think I missed one,” I squint a bit and raise the brightness of the [Light] by another notch. Indeed, there’s one skrappapeppa who managed to stand up and is charging at me.

“Joey!” Antoninus shouts so loudly I jump.

“Shut up! Jesus! You gave me a heart attack!”

This stupid brute.

I wave my hand in front of me, a gesture I associated with a matrix. Yeah, another trick I came up with. I like wizards who gesture a lot. It looks more solemn, doesn’t it?

Do you want to see the most difficult spell I’ve mastered while learning the stupid Cantrips?

Well, here you go.

[Advanced Hexagonal Three-Folded Shield]

What a mouthful.

See, the difference between me and the others is that people usually stick to their little matrixes, right? What I do, instead, is get creative.

Who said shields and walls have to be stationary?

The spell leaves my periphery at an alarming speed, hitting the monster barely a second later, not getting even nicked by the monster’s claws.

The thing goes forth and drags the remaining corpses against a wall, crushing the live monster and the carcasses alike.

I turn to the most perilous creature in the Dungeon.

“Antoninus, if you shout in my ear one more time, I swear I’ll poison your next meal, ok? I am not a trained soldier. Is that clear? If you shout, I jump, and I get distracted. So, no sudden shouts, screams, or anything like that. I have an amulet to protect me, and I can do magic. It’s more likely that you will give me a heart attack if you shout again. Am I being clear?”

I know I’m being a little harsh, but it’s true. There’s a chance I might die because Antoninus shouts at me at the wrong moment.

“Hum, ok?” the burly man is probably scratching his head behind the invisibility spell.

“Well, let’s go kick some asses, I guess?”

I take a step forward with a disgusted expression while I look at the blood smeared on the ground and the walls. My shield is still going and is slowly crushing the remaining monsters. It should lose its motion in a minute, though.

“Those are Gold-rank attacks,” Lucillus says after a minute of us walking.

I was expecting questions and stunned ‘ooohs.’ To be honest, I was expecting a little bit more. I know I’m good at this. Just because I want to be a baker doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy some magical tomfoolery and praise.

“Yep. Probably,” I say while trying to look cool.

“That’s good,” Antoninus comments, slashing all my hopes of praise.

Meh.

I should have come alone.