Casual Heroing

Sometimes I play this game. It’s called, ‘what would people think if I did this or that? What would happen if my every action was under the scrutiny of the whole world? Would they understand me? Would they love me? Or would they hate me?’

It’s a long game, I guess. And not a healthy one, for sure.

See, not everyone is well-understood. And it’s silly to want otherwise, probably. But different people want different things. And I might want validation. Or I might have wanted it in the past. There are many worms to dig out of the can that’s my brain.

Have you ever imagined yourself crossing the long corridor that brings you to the center of an arena or a stadium, and the whole crowd starts cheering your name?

I haven’t.

But I’m still a romantic.

I do things because, in my head, they resonate with something.

I’m sure you are still confused about the whole ‘Joey Luciani goes in the Dungeon to save his friends,’ or at least you should be.

But see, there is something to life that can’t be put to words so easily.

I’ll try, but it will be very difficult, and you will need to know a little bit about pop culture.

To be more specific, you’ll need to know one fictional character.

His name is Mr. Miyagi.

In the famous movie Karate Kid, there’s a scene where Mr. Miyagi fights this guy who’s probably forty years younger than him. In the real world, Mr. Miyagi would have had his head caved in, for sure. No chance in hell he would have survived such an assault. In the film, there’s this cheesy sequence of missed hits where the man simply moves aside, and his opponent smashes his fists in car windows and whatnot, bloodying himself.

That scene is a statement of how we should live our life.

See, Mr. Miyagi was there and won because he was the hero of the story. And maybe heroes die a lot. That’s kind of what adventurers do. But it’s a bit different there because adventuring is a job, a whole thing; it’s calculated risks.

I think that a [Hero] is much, much different.

A [Hero] is something that just goes off at the right moment, against all odds. A [Hero] is not glamorous; he’s just cheesy, a bit romantic, maybe a bit of an idiot. He may speak broken English or be short and green. But what a Hero does best is build this image of what’s right and wrong.

And now, I’m telling you what’s right and what’s wrong.

Wrong – that’s the sea of corpses that we find on our way. Lucillus confirms that they are not Gaius’s men but other adventurers. I even recognize some of them, although their flesh has mostly been stripped. See, that’s an easy one – as wrong as it can get. Death.

Right – that is us risking our lives for this stupid idea of mine. Why? Because if Mr. Miyagi were here, he would be damn proud of me.

If this doesn’t make sense to you, I’m sorry. And with that, I mean I’m sorry for you.

Why?

Look at this.

[Advanced Light Lance]

I skewer three skakkapoodles in one attack, cast a quick [Advanced Flash] inside a huge group of them, and then – with a tongue roll – [Advanced Light Blade]. The attack flies forward and cuts dozens of the bastards, killing at least half of them.

And what?

Oh, look at this.

[Advanced Light Blade]

[Advanced Light Blade]

[Advanced Light Blade]

[Advanced Light Blade]

Dozens start dropping dead on the spot, while Lucillus and Antoninus are killing off the ones who get closer to us. I’ve downed four Mana potions so far, and I’m probably close to uncorking the fifth. Is that bad?

Maybe.

But as a wise man once said:

Man who catch fly with chopstick, accomplish anything.

I don’t know. It was either that or wax on, wax off. My memory sucks for names and quotes, I swear. Sometimes I quote myself and say Seneca or Marcus Aurelius said it. It always kills me how people start nodding with wide eyes when they hear it.

“Oops,” I multi-cast two [Advanced Light Blades] to cover a wide zone. More dark-hound thingies have come out.

“Lucillus! What’s their name again?!” I scream to the man who’s now circling back to me with his fellow guard.

“Skraktalosias!”

“Yeah, I’m not learning that” I nod.

[Advanced Flash]

[Advanced Flash]

I start peppering the enemy with low-cost spells to give myself a bit of a breather. See, Mana works funnily. The more you use it in sequence, the more you spend. Why? Beats me. I have a theory, but I’m a bit busy here, you know?

And look, apparently, Lucillus and Antoninus have some very strong skills.

Stuff like [Enhanced Resilience] and [Enhanced Strength]. The last one’s Antoninus. I think Lucillus only has the basic version of that.

Loser.

Hehe.

By the way, Mr. Miyagi aside, this place stinks.

Yeah, it stinks.

Bad.

It stinks bad.

How bad?

Jennifer Lawrence in Hunger Games bad.

No, more.

Robert Pattinson in Twilight bad.

Well…

What was that quote about napalm?

That would be fitting, maybe.

Huh.

[Advanced Light Blade]

That was close. I backpedal from another assault of monsters and, suddenly, Lucillus shouts.

And I trip, obviously.

Why do they shout?!

“I found them! They are calling us from the other side of this rock!” he screams.

Why does he scream?!?!

“I can hear you! Stop screaming!”

And you know what else I hear?

Oh, well, a massive thump on the ground. Then, silence. Then, a massive roar shakes the entire mine.

The boss.