Beware Of Chicken Alternate Universe: Soaring Heaven's Isle

“Your physique is incredible!”

As soon as those words were out of my mouth I knew there was no going back. The entire room had frozen. Minyan’s eyes were wide. Elder Lili had an eyebrow raised. Elder Song grabbed some of the seeds that were in her bowl and put them in her mouth.

Now, I’m not actually into muscle girls. I generally like women Bailu and Seiyu’s size. But that didn’t mean I couldn’t respect the amount of work that went into a body like that—especially because she managed it without being grotesque like some body builders. On her the slabs of muscle looked completely and utterly natural—beautiful, even…and my eyes were on her abs again.

I looked back up.

Xiaobao hadn't moved. She was just standing there—and her face was slightly tinted red ho shit.

Did she think I was mocking her or something? She probably got it a lot, honestly. A bastion of women’s rights this world wasn’t.

I felt slightly sick to my stomach, and I tried to make it clear I wasn’t being a douche.

“That is to say, I can tell how much effort you’ve put into refining yourself. Your definition is magnificent, and your proportions are perfect!” I blurted out.

Fuck, shut up shut up!

Of course, I didn’t.

=======================

Baishi Lili, the Crane of the South Wind, had been prepared for many reactions out of Rou when Xiaobao introduced herself. Her appearance did always provide true insight into a man.

There were several standard reactions. The smart ones apologised for staring. The foolish ones… well. Lili had seen some men scream in fright. Others had run.

All of those men were worth nothing.

Lili hadn’t, however, expected the babbling stream of compliments. A lesser cultivator might think Rou to be mocking Xiaobao.

“That is to say, I can tell how much effort you’ve put into refining yourself. Your definition is magnificent, and your proportions are perfect!”

Yet everything told her that he was telling the honest truth. He was off center, and babbling as some did when panicked. But every word he spoke had not a hint of mockery, but instead genuine admiration.

He was impressed by Xiaobao’s appearance. The woman’s slight blush deepend.

This… was the first time something like this happened, as far as Lili could tell. Xiaobao had always been an enormous girl. Lili had thought her to be in her teens when she first laid eyes on her sister’s Disciple, all those centuries ago. Yet Xiaobao had towered over Lili at eight. Her muscles, bones, and organs just kept growing… and without cultivation the constant growth would have eventually killed her. Sister Dongmei had spent quite a lot of resources simply keeping her massive disciple alive, until she managed to refine her body and stop the uncontrolled growth.

But instead of becoming smaller, or more traditionally beautiful as most women did, she had remained the same giant.

“This is my path, and my duty. I shall be a shield for my sisters, and for the sect.” Xiaobao had said. Lili was touched by the woman’s devotion to the sect, and at the same time pitied her. In Lili’s opinion Xiaobao was unlikely to ever ascend with her current outlook on life.

Still, she was an invaluable member of the sect, Soaring Heaven’s Isle’s Indomitable Condor. She fulfilled her oath as a living bastion. Their enemies broke upon her like waves upon a rock. Her massive body took punishment that would have shattered her smaller sisters with ease. And when men would not get the hint, Xiaobao would rise to her full height, looming over anyone foolish enough to push at their girls.

Those men would shout about the ogre as they fled, if they didn’t have to be broken first for continuing to press.

“It must have been a truly difficult journey. But a cultivator is both the sculptor and the stone. And a true artist doesn’t just blindly follow others—they can create something special and unique with any material they are given.” The young man continued, as he looked directly into Xiaobao’s eyes.

Oh? A cultivator is both sculptor and stone? That's actually a good saying. Lili mused.

From the top of her chest to the tips of her ears, Xiaobao was as red as her hair. The boy swallowed thickly.

“And Shen Rou pays his respects to Wuting Xiaobao!” the boy finished, bowing properly, and finally managing to stop himself from talking.

“Ah. Yes. It is a pleasure to meet you.” Their dear condor said, before turning to Lili. She could almost see little swirls within Xiaobao’s pupils, so off balance was the disciple. “Excuse this one Elder, she must go…. see to some security concerns!”

Nobody called out the blatant lie.

She nodded to Rou, and walked past him, and past the shocked and despairing Storm Wings. There was a crack as the woman leapt into the air and sped off.

Lili grasped the strands of wind, and listened closely.

“Maaaaaaaassssstttttteeeerrrrrr! What do I dooooooooo?!” the stoic Xiaobao wailed, as she shot towards her house.

Lili returned her attention to Rou. The boy was fretting, and he turned to Minyan. “I didn’t insult her, right? She's not mad?”

He hadn’t even noticed.

Minyan sighed, and shook her head. “It was… fine, Rou.”

“That boy doesn’t know what hes done. Well, at least you won’t have to search for a wife for your boy, Minyan. Dongmei shall have them wed as soon as she gets back.” Song whispered to both her fellow elders, Qi taking her words. Lili hid a smile, while Minyan looked up in alarm.

“She will most certainly not be.” Minyan hissed, her fingers suddenly tight on the armrest of her chair. Minyan’s eyes bored into Song’s, a tiger protecting her cub.

Lili chuckled, and took mercy on Rou, who was still standing there, looking a bit confused. Something to distract him “Rou. Your Aunt has something you can do for her.” she said, and produced a ream of paper, a brush, an ink block and an ink stone. All were of the finest qualities. “A cultivator is both sculptor and stone.” It is a good saying, write it out for me, I wish to see your calligraphy.”

Indeed, his words did have value, so Lili would give him the honour of actually meditating upon them. Both sculptor and stone. She dare say she might even begin using it.

This did the trick, and Rou nodded, latching onto the line she had thrown him.

“Of course…Aunt Lili?” he ventured.

She smiled indulgently, but it didn’t reach her eyes. She was still not entirely convinced of this, but things were adding up in a way that seemed to support Minyan’s words.

The young man took the paper, clearly relieved at the distraction, and he sat down.

Then, a change seemed to come over him. A certain calm suffused his body, as he began the steps of a calligrapher. He examined the paper with an experienced eye, searching for any imperfection. There would be none on Imperial Jade paper, yet he performed the step anyway. Sometimes, imperfections could add to a piece, but Lili had given the boy a blank canvas. He touched the corner to feel its grain, clearly experienced with how paper absorbed ink, and nodded.

From there he considered the brush at length, adjusting himself to the feel of it. That brush had been a gift to her from Song, ages ago now. Its handle was Skywood, inlaid with jade, and its hairs were taken from a rampaging dragon’s tail.

Finally, he picked up the inkstone. “Seiyu.” he requested, and the woman startled, so engrossed was she in watching him work. She conjured the young man some water so he could turn the solid ink into its workable form.

Soaring Heaven Seal Ink was notoriously finicky—Yet Rou seemed to know his way around it as he mixed the ink to its proper consistency.

Once he was satisfied, he began his work. He wet his brush, filled it with ink, took a breath, and then began.

He was sure and certain in his strokes. His large frame was surprisingly graceful as he formed the characters. They were big and bold, yet with surprising depth.

And though they were his own… Lili knew instantly who had taught him, for some of the flourishes were identical.

If the tales of putting piss in his wine was not enough, here was absolute proof that the boy had been taught by Shen Yu.

Lili had five of his pieces hanging on the wall of her meditation room, each one a masterpiece.

Rou finished, his brush dragging out the final character, and then he let out a breath.

Be both Sculptor and Stone. The courtly characters read.

It was not what Lili considered a masterpiece. That was reserved for greater works than this. But it was a very, very fine piece. Lili wanted to have Rou do this again, but with a larger brush for a wall scroll.

There was silence as Rou sat back to examine his work.

“Not bad, boy.” Song said.

“A fine piece.” Minyan declared, her eyes displaying a hint of pride as she looked at Rou.

“You are well practised in this art.” Lili mused.

“Yes. Reading and writing are some of the most important things a man can learn.” Rou said with conviction. “I practised whenever I could.”

Lili nodded. That was a Shen Yu thing to say. He may have been a street rat at one point, but Shen Yu treated characters with proper respect and consideration.

“I shall praise you as well.” Lili said, and picked up the paper, the ink acceptably dry.

She didn’t miss how Minyan’s eyes followed it. Or the intensity with which she was looking at it.

Minyan wanted this. She wanted the piece of calligraphy. Like how Lili’s niece had coveted Chunhua’s first messy scribbles.

Minyan’s eyes were the eyes of a mother, at that moment.

Lili, with a smile on her face, provoked her fellow Elder.

“Thank you for this piece, Rou.” she declared, putting it inside her storage ring.

Minyan’s eyes narrowed into slits. Her freezing intent pressed against Lili, who just smirked back.

Rou, however, seemed a bit calmer now, and started talking to Song about his day.

“It took a while to get everything on, but I got it in the end. I didn’t want anybody to swarm Bi De, so I asked him to guard the house instead. He looked really happy, but if its calmer tomorrow, and it isn’t too much, could I bring him?”

“Yes, I shall allow it.” Song said instantly. Lili didn’t even know who this Bi De man was, but if Song was so eager to have him here, who was she to argue?

Minyan eventually contented herself to sulking and glaring, and then there was peace in the room, as they waited for the tournament setup to be complete.

Or at least almost peace.

The Storm Wings, the fools, were attempting to perform body refining where they stood, their Qi repeatedly circulating in their abdominal muscles, biceps, and backs.

It was distracting.

“Bailu. Seiyu. If you continue to do that in my presence I will use you as fishing bait for Ship-Stealer Squid.” Lili said, her voice carried to them alone. Both of them knew it wasn’t an idle threat. They had been her fishing bait before. Getting eaten by a Ship-Stealer wasn’t exactly threatening to them, but both women hated getting covered in the slime and digestive juices.

The Storm Wings pouted at her proclamation, and a spark of defiance entered their eyes. They may have stopped now, but they would be back at it again as soon as they could.

Lili sighed internally. This was why men were annoying. They could get normally rational women like Minyan—or herself, if she was honest—to do spectacularly stupid things for them. It went the other way too of course… and that was why their ancestors lived separately. To stop stupidity from occurring as much.

And the Storm Wings were hardly rational. They were willing to completely resculpt their body because of an off hand comment and—

Oh, there was an idea.

“An artist that blindly follows another is no artist at all.” Lili quoted Rou, and the Storm wings instantly ceased their foolishness. “Do not be so quick to make yourselves into miniature Xiaobao.”

And then it was peaceful.

Lili took a sip of her tea, leaning back into her seat. A moment to sit and relax, and then a tournament for entertainment. It was shaping up to be a better day than she imagined… and most of her suspicions about Rou were laid to rest.