Beware Of Chicken Alternate Universe: Soaring Heaven's Isle

The day of the tournament came entirely too quickly for my tastes. Last week I received a box from Minyan containing my outfit, as well as what my role would be..

Luckily, I wasn’t really expected to do anything big. I wouldn’t be fighting, I would just be sitting with Minyan with her and the other elders, and “getting people used to me” as Minyan put it.

Apparently the sect was buzzing with curiosity, and now that I was ‘healed’ I couldn’t hide away much anymore.

So. no big deal. Just sit around with a bunch of monstrously powerful old ladies and also navigate the sect when literally everybody wanted to see Minyan’s son.

Yeah, I wasn’t convincing myself either.

I sighed as I stood in my room, my arms out straight. Bailu and Seiyu were helping me get dressed. It was embarrassing as hell, but I had taken one look at what Minyan wanted me to wear and immediately called in the cavalry.

Not only was it made of the finest silk I had ever laid eyes on, it was Eight layers. God damn I hoped I didn’t need to take a shit while I was wearing this.

I had been expecting whites and blues; the kind of thing that Minyan wore. But instead, the robe I had been given was varying shades of green, expertly dyed, with grey trim—like a mountain covered in a forest. Gold thread sketched out clouds, leaves, and carved rocks, while on the back was the silhouette of a majestic deer.

It took us half an hour to get me into it, and that was with the surety of Bailu and Seiyu’s fingers. The entire thing was capped off with a golden hair ornament thing that looked vaguely like interlocked antlers… and makeup.

Makeup with Qi in it, that covered my freckles perfectly. It even smoothed out my face a bit, and when they were done…I looked like an actual Young Master. It was weird. And doubly weird that with this stuff on I actually looked vaguely related to Minyan.

I sighed. Bailu and Seiyu, on the other hand, just wore their normal clothes, but their expressions were different. Bubbly Bailu was nowhere to be seen, and Seiyu seemed more elegant and formal than her normal look.

“Hold down the fort for us, okay Big D?” I asked the rooster. The bird squawked and bowed.

And then off we went. I would have liked to get more sailing practise in, but that wasn’t allowed for this trip. Instead, I just had to sit in a throne-like chair while the girls took us towards the Sect.

The massive wrecked ship, the size of a city, was on the highest island. I would have expected it to be permanently covered in snow, because it was higher than Everest, but instead, it was bright and green—like the island had never been removed from the larger landmasses below.

It may have been some kind of ward or formation, or it might have had something to do with the massive plant that was attached to the Island. A truly Jack and the Beanstalk looking thing that connected Soaring Heaven’s Isle to the land far, far below. It was bright green and clearly flourishing.

Any Mortal woman that managed to climb the plant was immediately inducted into the sect—and I knew that because Minyan had told me how she joined up. Tianzhe Minyan had done it when she was twelve. She climbed eight near-vertical miles, up a magic plant that was home to aggressive Spirit Beasts. Where the weather changed at the drop of a hat, and the temperature regularly went below freezing.

She had been mostly dead at the end of it, but the previous Matriarch herself had nursed Minyan back to health and took her on as a disciple.

That had been an enjoyable evening, listening to her regale me with the story of her youth. She had meandered all over the place, talking about her parents, and how they had fallen to an epidemic, and her brother who had raised her afterwards.

Life over eight hundred years ago sounded pretty similar to life today, strangely enough.

That said, the island was approaching far, far too quickly for my liking. As was the rest of the sect. The air was full of little skiffs like the one I had, or people were just flitting around in the air. Without any visible support; they fluttered around like fairies, some chasing each other and performing aerial acrobatics.

It looked utterly magical.

I did get some glances, but we hauled away from the main gathering of women. They just flew into designated entrances, but I had to enter through the front gate.

It was just a formality, but one that showed I was abiding by the rules.

And what a front gate it was. There was an outer wall around this section of the ship—right where a person would end up after climbing the massive beanstalk. The enormous red gate was the size of a ten story building. It was coloured a deep blue, with clouds floating on it, and the banner of the Soaring Heaven’s Isle Sect fluttered proudly from the walls. I noted that the ballisa that those banners were near were manned—er—womanned. Ladies wearing armor and with their eyes hidden by helmets that looked like stylized birds of prey scanned the sky lazily, clearly not expecting any trouble.

We landed at the designated spot, and I hopped off the ship. A couple of servant girls, who only stared a little moored our skiff, and I walked towards the gate, Bailu and Seiyu flanking me, and one step behind me on either side.

The whole production felt weird, but I soldiered on as I approached the gate.

There were two women waiting at the massive gates, both of them fully armoured, and they glared out from helms shaped like phoenix beaks. In their hands they held very fantasy looking Guandao, the polearms and wielding guandao. I approached the grim-faced women, and presented myself.

“Who comes before us, the Guardians of the God Ship?” The woman on the right demanded.

I placed my hands before me in the gesture of respect. “This Shen Rou humbly requests entrance to the Soaring Heaven’s Isle Sect; he is here by the invitation of Elder Minyan.”

I unclasped my hands and handed the woman on the left my invitation. She took it, gave one glance to the seal and the Qi that was within it, and nodded. Then she looked back up to me.

Both women’s eyes bored into me, and I could feel a bit of their intent, but it was nothing compared to Elder Minyan’s. I stood in front of them and waited for a response.

The women actually looked kind of impressed. Both of them slammed their polearms into the ground, and then into their shoulders, so they too could clap their hands over their fists.

“Shen Rou. You are expected. “Please be welcomed into the Soaring Heaven’s Isle Sect, as our honoured guest!””

Both of them turned to the gates, and raised their hands, palm first.

Synchronised, they pushed—and the gate opened with just the air-pressure alone of their Qi.

They turned back to me and bowed again. The one on the right spoke again. “Our gates are open to you. Let none challenge your right to be here.”

“Thank you.” I replied, as their heads rose. The one on the left’s lips moved like she was talking, but no sound came out. She was looking at Bailu and Seiyu.

I felt a bit of Bailu’s Qi, which I was more used to sensing, move behind me, and both the guards seemed a bit taken aback… before little smiles formed on their faces.

“Be careful in there, Young Master.” The one on the left said, seeming to decide to dispense with formalities. “The girls are going to be… rowdy today.”

“If they’re anything like these two I’ll be praying for survival.” I replied, jerking my thumb back at Bailu and Seiyu.

“Young Master!” Bailu complained, while Seiyu grumbled. The guards actually barked out laughs, the hard looking women’s eyes no longer so stern and judging.

“It was a pleasure to meet you, Young Master.” the guards intoned and bowed their heads.

I took a small breath, and entered the gate.

What stretched out before me was something amazing. I nearly took a step back at the sight of it, but managed to keep my stride.

It was a great hall of marble and wood. Massive pillars stood on their side of it, carved with images of women doing battle, or ships firing beams of ravening light. Crystals floated in the air, providing light, and keeping the temperature comfortable.

But the most eye-catching thing was at the end of the hall. At first I had thought the carving was an actual bird, but it was simple skill that made the graceful bird seem almost alive. It had a long neck, a small, dainty beak, and a long train of tailfeathers that were every colour of the rainbow. It was no bird I knew, but it was stunningly beautiful all the same.

Its head was bowed, and it was weeping diamonds over the corpse of a great deer, adn the land around it was littered with demonic corpses. In its talons it clutched an armored demon, broken in its grasp.

I paused for a moment to simply admire the carvings… but eventually, I did have to go.

Our path took us deeper into the definitely high-fantasy skyship. Random things just floated in the air. A giant formation in one room projected what looked like a holographic map of the entire Soaring Heaven Archipelago, and more often than not there were young women flying through the halls above us.

They were also starting to take notice. One lady got so distracted by me she flew into a wall and thumped to the ground.

And then, we got to our biggest hurdle. We had to travel through a courtyard. One of the main courtyards the sect used, that was currently packed with the disciples of Soaring Heaven’s Isle.

Everybody turned to look at the newcomer in their midst.

“Is that the Young Master?”

“Elder Minyan’s son?”

“He's kinda cute…”

“Hmph! A man on our Isle? Whats Elder Minyan thinking?”

“It's the Storm Wings! My Senior Sister told me about them…”

I kept as calm as I could as I strode forwards, my head held high and my stride assured…until I found my way blocked.

There were several gasps.

“Shes doing it!”

“I can’t believe her.”

“Only the Young Mistress has the guts to get in his way.”

“So. You’re Elder Minyan’s son? Hmph, I expected more,” A haughty, arrogant voice proclaimed as a woman nearly a full foot shorter than me stepped into my way. She was a kind of classical beauty, with dark hair and dark eyes, and her entire bearing seemed to ooze self satisfaction.

She also had a posse of other women who descended beside her, all of them looking me up and down. “You are merely in the Profound Realm but you are older than I—how shameful, but I suppose we can’t all be as talented as I. Worry not though. I, your Martial Aunt, shall allow you to bow and greet me properly.”

I stared blankly at the well, not quite yet a woman, she couldn't have been older than sixteen, as she smirked at me. She was intentionally putting herself above me in the hierarchy. Martial Aunt meant she was the direct disciple of an Elder.

There was just one problem.

“I’m sorry, who are you?” I asked.

The haughty young woman’s face turned an interesting shade of puce, as her eyes bugged out.

“Wha—Buh—how do you not know me?! I am Baishi Chunhua—Elder Lili’s niece!” She exclaimed angrily.

I looked at the girl. Really looked at her, and realised that this was basically a playground dick waving contest. She could probably kick my ass… and then Bailu and Seiyu would tear her in half for trying, if I was reading their Qi right. It was bubbling even as they smiled.

So. Deescalation it was.

“Forgive this Rou. He is still new to the Soaring Heaven’s Isle, and he has not had the time to learn about its disciples. It is nice to meet you, Banshi Chunhua.” I replied, and bowed. “Please treat me kindly.”

The girl was clearly knocked off her game, as she started floundering. “Ah-of course! I am your senior in cultivation, after all!”

“Wasn’t he really badly injured, and smashed down to the Initiate’s realm?”

“He's already back in the Profound Realm, more like. My Sister’s friend’s aunt’s cousin was near the medical Pavillion when Elder Minyan brought him in. Said he was nearly dead, and it was the Storm Wings that did it.”

“No!”

“He bargained for their lives, and forgave them for it—so they swore their eternal fealty for his benevolence.”

“Such a benevolent Young Master!”

The girl’s face twisted again as people gossiped. “You are indeed my senior in cultivation.” I said truthfully, “And who are these pretty sisters with you?”

The other women blinked, clearly not expecting to be addressed, but they all introduced themselves to me. Honestly I wasn’t entirely paying attention, but Bai, Fang, Feifei and Ling seemed nice enough as they formally bowed.

“They seem like a fine bunch.” I informed Chunhua. “It's a good thing to have companions to walk with.”

The girl’s posse flushed. “They are… good sparring partners.” Chunhua said, and the blush on the other girls deepened.

“Are you participating in the tournament, Senior Sister?” I asked.

“O-of course I am!” she declared. I smiled as she started to regain her composure.

“Then I wish you luck. I have no doubt that you will do well.” I replied, and clapped her on the shoulder.

“Hmph! I shall win the whole thing, just you watch!” She said, crossing her arms.

“Have a nice day, Chunhua.”

“You—you too!”

“Bai, Fang, Feifei, Ling.” I greeted her posse as I walked past them. They parted for me, and bowed.

Time Bomb defused, it was time to make my exit.

=====================================

The rest of the courtyard stared as the Young Master walked away.

“Did he just do that to Chunhua?” somebody whispered.

“Look at her. She's smiling like she won!” another replied.

“The Young Master is a dangerous opponent.”

“His back is niiiice. And those pants do wonders for his a—”

“Sei!”

“What, it's nice.”

“No, hey, look, he's getting away, we need to pay our respects too!” somebody interrupted the spate of whispers, and the rest of the onlookers realised that was true. They were missing their chance to speak with the calm, controlled Young Master!

The entire courtyard surged forwards, and several opened their mouths to call out—

The Storm Wings, who had been acting like leashed, tamed dogs, turned back around, and the entire room froze as their intent was made known.

“He's busy.” Bailu said simply, her [Voice on the Breeze] ensuring all heard her. Bailu was smiling slightly—exposing canines that were twice as long as a normal woman’s. Her pupils were slits, and veins bulged in her forehead around invisible horns.

“The Young Master has an appointment.” Seiyu said, her voice dead. Unlike Bailu’s draconic mein, Seiyu’s eyes had no pupils at all. They had become portals to the black depths of the ocean—a sucking void ready to draw them in and crush them. “If you wish to meet him later it will be when you are polite and lady-like, not as a mob.”

The ladies of Soaring Heaven’s Isle all took one step back.

And then the Storm Wings were smiling properly, and they continued after their Young Master.

“He tamed the Storm Wings?!”

“Truly, he is Elder Minyan’s son!”

“Oh, he can tame me, if you know what I mean.”

“Sei!”

“Don’t Sei me! I’ve seen the filth you read!”

=====================================

That… probably went as well as things could have gone, if I’m honest. I’m glad I managed to diffuse the situation. I was expecting to get mobbed, but the cultivator girls of Soaring Heaven’s Isle probably didn’t do anything that uncouth.

I was actually in a fairly good mood as I approached the corridor Minyan had told me to come to. There were no guards—just an odd feeling as I stepped through some kind of formation.

The door opened on its own. I paused at the entryway, and bowed low.

“Shen Rou pays his respects to his mother the Elders.” I said.

“You may enter. Really Minyan, why are you teaching him to be so formal to his Aunts?” The amused voice I recognised as Elder Lili’s beckoned me in.

“Formality is the mark of a gentleman.” Minyan sniffed. “But I suppose he doesn’t have to be so formal. Come in, Rou.”

I entered at Minyan’s words, and all of a sudden there was intent. Minyan’s eyes roved over my body before she nodded in approval.

“Oh? You look...presentable. Good job.” Elder Song said, from where she was lounging on a couch. She had no armour today, and instead was in a red robe. Her eyes roved over my shoulders.. Before she seemed slightly disappointed. I noticed she had a bowl of seeds in front of her, and a small rag for polishing nails,

“That is Song for ‘you look very nice, Young Man.’” Elder Lili tittered. “But where are our manners. Dongmei still has business in the South East; so Her First Disciple will be with us today.”

I turned to the last person in the room, as the woman stood. I had to do a double take.

“This one is Wuting Xiaobao. She greets Elder Minyan’s son.” I looked up as the last woman rose, and clasped her fist into a martial salute.

I, for the first time since I arrived here, laid eyes on somebody taller than me.

Xiaobao, Little Treasure, was like no female cultivator I had ever seen before. She had to be seven and a half feet tall. The woman had blazing red hair, was absolutely covered in scars and even had an eyepatch.

But what caught my attention the most were her muscles. The woman was absolutely ripped. Shredded. Her physique was a body builder’s wet dream, sculpted to perfection.

I was nearly stunned into silence. But I was amongst the Elders, so I had to make a good impression—I ended up blurting out the first thing that came to mind.

“Your physique is incredible!”

The powerful cultivator blinked at me, and I felt my face redden.

Foot, meet mouth.