Became an Observer in Love Company

Lee Jian seemed to be in a great deal of pain.

I tried to check if she had a fever, but she took a step back in shock.

‘Is Yoon Jihoo fine and am I not?’

A bitter smile tugged at the corners of my lips.

“Unya?”

“I’m not crying, am I?”

“Your eyes are red though.”

I sighed.

Was her condition really that bad?

I don’t know.

In a world where love is the main theme, I felt like I would never truly understand that emotion.

I was, after all, a foreigner. A foreigner who would eventually have to return.

“Would you like something to drink?”

I held out a beverage.

“Why do you always bring this?”

“Because it’s one plus one.”

And because it’s your favorite drink.

“Is that all?”

“…That’s all.”

Nevertheless, I decided to wait until Lee Jian felt better before leaving.

“It’s really raining hard, isn’t it?”

“It’s summer, that’s why.”

Gulping sounds could be heard as Lee Jian drank the beverage.

Even though she wasn’t drinking loudly, the sound clearly pierced through the harsh rain.

Was it because she was sitting right next to me?

“Final exams are coming up soon, you know.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. It’s been how long since the midterms ended?”

“Incredibly, it’s true.”

Gulping. A small swallowing sound.

Could people be contained within sounds?

Lee Jian’s drink-sipping sounded cute.

“Are you preparing well for the competition?”

“I’ve been scolded, so now I’m preparing hard. How about you?”

“Hmm? Just okay.”

“Are you not trying hard?”

“I am trying. But the results have to show that I’ve worked hard.”

I pressed my palm tightly while speaking.

Followed by a glance.

Lee Jian met my gaze as I bowed my head.

I worried whether I had leaned forward too much and would fall over.

“If you keep that up, you’ll fall forward.”

“Isn’t that too cruel?”

“Fall forward?”

She frowned at my question and retorted.

“Not that! The statement that results are the only proof of trying hard.”

You’re wavering.

You and me, both.

In different ways.

Lee Jian spoke in a low voice.

“You’re undermining other people’s efforts. They might have worked hard.”

“That’s true too.”

“Isn’t it possibly the reason there’s an excellent participation award? Like, ‘You’ve all put in enough effort.’?”

She passionately argued, arms spread wide.

“Alright. I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

Lee Jian asked jokingly.

I responded jokingly.

“Because I forgot to bring only one umbrella?”

“Eh?!”

“Oops.”

“Hey!!”

“You really seem to be fine after all. You’re definitely healthy.”

Lee Jian kept hitting my shoulder.

“A-a-ah. I said I’m sorry!”

Involuntarily, my voice trembled.

It was because I thought about it just now. There was nothing I could do about it.

If only I had known when buying the drink, I would have brought an umbrella.

And besides…

No.

“Would you like to wait here? I’ll go back home to bring another umbrella.”

“It’s fine. Let’s just go.”

“Isn’t it unnecessary?”

“Hmm, I’m small and cute, so even sharing one umbrella, I won’t get wet.”

I quietly looked at her.

Since when did it become a habit to reply teasingly while checking her expression?

Since when has it become a daily habit to always have barley drinks ready?

If I were an observer, if that were my role…

I wanted to observe none other than you.

Lee Jian’s eyes flickered wildly. Her face turned increasingly red.

“You really are not feeling well.”

Then she avoided my gaze.

“…Could you possibly forget it for me?”

For a moment, my fingertips lightly twitched.

Forget?

I didn’t want to forget.

I wanted to keep this moment forever in my memory like a picture.

But even so—

“Alright.”

At my words, her face brightened.

I wondered what else I should say, but eventually, I joked and laughed.

“Because this is your cute request…”

And then—

Puk.

It was the expected reaction, but at that moment…

I wanted the joke to continue just a little longer.

“Could you take me to the bus stop?”

“Only to the bus stop?”

“Why? If I asked you to take me all the way home, would you say that?”

I quietly looked at her face.

Her slightly blushed cheeks. Her sparkling pink irises.

As our eyes met, a short moment felt stretched endlessly long.

When I tried to speak, not a word came out.

Eventually, I shook my head and said,

“No, I’ll bring the umbrella from home.”

“Wow, that’s cheating.”

“What’s unfair about it? Walking separately with individual umbrellas is more convenient, right?”

“There’s no romance in that.”

“Romance? What about it?”

“And because I thought you’d find it bothersome.”

Lee Jian said that and turned her head away.

My lips curved up at her protruding tongue and playful words.

“I’m not bothered.”

“My mom will bring the umbrella to the bus stop. Just to the bus stop.”

I nodded.

“Alright.”

And I quietly gazed at her.

Like how it is natural to hold an umbrella above someone in the rain,

How natural it had become for me to always be by her side.

For how long would this naturalness continue?

Leaving that unanswerable question lingering, I silently took a step forward.

*

It was still raining.

Quietly and gently.

Under the umbrella, it was cramped.

Our shoulders brushed each other with every step. There was barely any space left between us.

Outside, the rain pounded loudly, but beneath the umbrella, the sound was muffled, quiet.

It was like a completely different world from the one outside where the rain poured heavily.

I walked alongside Kim Dohyun.

And intentionally—

I leaned slightly towards him.

Then, he reacted immediately.

“Hey, are you getting too close?”

I grinned naturally and looked up.

“What can I do? If I don’t get close, I’ll get wet.”

The space between us. I wanted to close the gap.

“If you don’t come close, I’ll have to.”

He took a short breath.

“…”

And ever so slightly, he tilted the umbrella towards me.

I raised an eyebrow.

“Oh~ such a gentleman.”

I moved closer still.

My shoulder almost touched his.

He took another short breath.

…Should I stop now?

Yet, I couldn’t help but move even closer.

Rather—

I was getting closer.

Kim Dohyun responded with a brief,

“Noisy.”

I laughed and turned my head forward.

Still, I stayed closely by his side.

Under the umbrella, it was cramped, and our shoulders and collars subtly collided.

He glanced at me and sighed again, tilting the umbrella slightly.

“Better?”

“Hmm, it’s still a bit uncertain?”

I moved even closer.

He flinched. But he couldn’t move away.

I grinned playfully.

But I realized.

This wasn’t just a game anymore.

I knew he was trying to distance himself.

Maybe I also knew I shouldn’t be acting this way.

And yet—

I wanted to get closer.

At least in this light atmosphere.

At least in this proximity.

At least, for this moment, it felt okay.

“Kim Dohyun.”

I quietly called out his name.

He looked at me.

Under the umbrella, our eyes met.

‘Are you avoiding me these days?’

Holding back that rising question, I asked something different.

“Do you like rainy days?”

“Not really.”

“Why not?”

“I dislike the sticky feeling. Neither the clinging nor the dampness is pleasant.”

I smiled teasingly and said,

“I don’t like it either. But you know what?”

I moved a little closer again.

“I’m starting to like rainy days a bit more because they remind me of myself.”

“Are you saying the weather and you are alike? How so?”

It feels sticky. The undefined emotions clung to my heart uncomfortably.

Like the rain, it clung to my mind though I wanted to erase it, it wouldn’t go away.

It blurred everything, making the surroundings indistinct, hard to see.

“Hmm? There’s another reason too. Actually, that reason is bigger.”

Even though I knew I shouldn’t,

I couldn’t move.

Avoiding is wrong.

But…

Getting closer isn’t right either.

What should I do?

“Kim Dohyun.”

I called his name again.

Under the umbrella, our gazes met.

The rain grew stronger, but it was quiet under the umbrella.

I slowly leaned closer to him.

In this narrow space where there’s no place to escape.

“Why do I now like the rain?”

“…Why?”

Kim Dohyun asked in a low tone.

His fingertips tightened and then loosened on the umbrella.

Under the umbrella, our breaths intertwined faintly.

And very briefly—

He stopped walking.

I followed suit and stopped as well.

The rain became more thunderous.

Even though the umbrella sheltered us, I felt as if I was getting wet.

“Just teasing.”

I said with a light laugh.

But at that moment, Kim Dohyun’s gaze sharply wavered.

“….Don’t joke like that.”

He responded in a very low voice.

I chuckled lightly but felt an abnormal tingling inside.

“Why?”

“It’s confusing.”

His brief and decisive answer.

I couldn’t feign laughter at that reply.

“What’s wrong? What’s so confusing?”

I inquired, but he didn’t answer for a while.

The sound of the rain trickling down the umbrella fabric was heard, and only our faint breathing could be heard within.

“Would you offer me an umbrella next time?”

“Of course, you should.”

“Why would I do that if you’re going to joke around like this?”

“Because you only brought one umbrella, didn’t you?”

Heehee. I deliberately smiled mockingly and said,

“Maybe you wanted to share the umbrella with me, hence you only brought one.”

“So I said I’d bring another umbrella, but you told me not to. Wasn’t it you?”

Kim Dohyun’s sharp counter left me momentarily speechless.

Another awkward silence lingered between us.

“It’s one-all now.”

“Were we supposed to be competing?”

“Something like that.”

Even though I said that, I was still at a loss for words.

Actually, it was sincere on my part.

A drop of rain that fell on my toes soaked them.

It was slowly seeping into my heart just like that.

But I deliberately ignored it.

“Do you remember the cleaning incident?”

“I remember.”

How do you remember that?

Is it just a mere memory for you? Or a cherished one?

The scene of that day is already embedded in me like a photograph.

“I feel like I went too far with my joke back then, so I wanted to apologize.”

“It’s fine. No need to apologize. It was just a joke, right?”

“Haha, right. Just… It was just a joke, that’s all.”

Just a joke.

Yeah, I’ve always said that.

But this time around—

I couldn’t stop my voice from lowering by a tone.

“…”

Kim Dohyun continued walking, hearing my apology as if it was nothing.

As if it was such a trivial matter.

At that moment, the space under the umbrella felt even narrower, yet we were drifting further apart.

The umbrella wobbled slightly.

His shoulder was already getting wet. I felt I shouldn’t complain any more.

“Still hate the rain?”

“…”

“I don’t know.”

Kim Dohyun replied quietly.

I’ve seen endlessly that his gaze rests on the senior.

I tried to pretend not to notice and acted as if I didn’t care.

But the more I did, the clearer it became.

“So, you still don’t like it.”

So—

I have to give up.

Before this emotion deepens any further, while it’s still unclear at this moment.

“I actually don’t like the rain either.”

I deliberately said it in a composed manner.

It’s fortunate that the rain obscures Kim Dohyun’s view.

It’s fortunate that I don’t have to show this painful expression.

So, I should stop now.

I bit my lip.

But—

He pulled me towards him.

At this small movement, I wavered once again.

I looked up at Kim Dohyun.

“You’ll get wet. You didn’t seem to feel well today either.”

I should give up.

I need to stop this now.

The warmth of his hand touching my shoulder felt unusually hot.

His gentle touch was more cruel.

It’s probably just consideration. There’s no way. But—

Could I indulge in this illusion for just a moment?

For today only, could it be alright if the rain blurs the boundaries between us?

I remained still, unable to nod or deny.

The rain continued to fall.

I tried to avoid Kim Dohyun, yet I ended up taking another step closer.

It was warm under the umbrella, but I was already getting soaked.

I tried to erase unnecessary thoughts, but it felt as if my throat was burning.

I am like the rain, after all.

And I dislike the rain.

In this rain, I thought that if only time could freeze.

And simultaneously, I wished for this moment to pass quickly.

I want this rain to stop as soon as possible.

I don’t want to get soaked anymore.

But I’m already drenched.

Maybe it’s already too late to open the umbrella.

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