Be Careful What You Wish For: A Zombie Apocalypse

The tension in the room was becoming almost unbearable. We were in a Mexican Standoff where neither side could move without consequences, but none of us knew what the consequences were.

Just as the thoughts appeared in my head, I heard the ear piercing scream of Thumper before it was cut off by a gurgling sound.

Well, so much for the standoff.

The second Thumper screamed it was all of a sudden a free-for-all. People were running around in all directions, having no idea where to go or what to do. They crashed into each other, sending them flying backward.

Then you had the idiots who were just pounding on anyone who so much as touched them.

"Just think," mused Envy. "The zombies aren't even attacking. The humans are doing all the hard work for them."

"Everyone stop!" cried out another female voice. The soft, gentle voice of the woman beside the guy with his head up his ass held out her hands like she could freeze time or something. However, what was most impressive was that the humans actually stopped.

The massive man beside her wrapped his arm around her, pulling her into his side as his other hand held out his gun. Looking through Dimitri's eyes, I could see the moment Dimitri rolled his eyes before looking away from the couple.

"Alicia has a point; we need to think rationally," stated the guy, and I wondered just how high this stick up his ass was. It had to be uncomfortable sitting down. Maybe that was why he stood so straight all of the time.

"Fuck rationally," called out a man from the other side of the room. "Something just killed Kelly."

Ah, so Thumper's name was Kelly. Huh, it didn't suit her at all. I liked Thumper better.

Dimitri turned to look at the man who had spoken, and I watched as the man stepped into the moonlight, holding up his hand that was covered in blood. Opening his mouth to speak again, he was quickly cut off by something removing his head.

The creature, the smart zombie, stepped forward as if wanting us to know exactly what we were dealing with as he lifted up the severed head of the human.

The zombie's head was massive and round, looking more like a beachball I had seen as a child rather than an actual head. It was split about halfway down by a gaping mouth of sharp, ragged teeth.

Its mouth looked like that of a shark, with rows upon rows of teeth so big that it seemed impossible for the creature to close its mouth. Blood dripped down his chin, and Dimitri followed the drop as it went down its neck and onto its disgustingly thin body.

The creature looked to be nothing more than a skeleton covered by a thin layer of light blue skin. Each bone not covered by ripped clothing was easily seen as it swayed back and forth like a mother rocking her child.

Or the waves hitting the shore.

The entire room was absolutely silent as it took in the monster in front of us, and I could practically taste the fear in the air.

Clearly, the monster could taste it, too, because his mouth seemed to twist into a grin as at least five other smart zombies zig-zagged up to stand beside the first one.

Finally, I had seen the difference between the mutated zombie creature Marc was cursing and the stupid zombies that he wished into existence.

I waited to feel the same fear as everyone else, but all I felt was satisfaction.

I finally understood what a pencil dick neck looked like.

Shaking that thought out of my head, I realized that I had missed Alicia rapidly speaking to everyone.

"They are impossible to kill," she said quickly like she was being timed about how many words in a minute she could speak. The zombie was as interested as I was in what she was saying because it turned to look at her the same time Dimitri did. "If you cut off a limb, they'll just regrow it. Bullets are useless, too."

I watched as the cocksucker beside her rubbed her arm up and down as if trying to offer her comfort as she continued to puke words.

"Are you jealous?" asked Pride, his voice drowning out the woman's. "Do you wish that man was doing the same thing to you?"

'Why would I?' I asked inside my head. I was seriously confused about why I should be upset or jealous. She had someone to support her, good for her. 'He isn't mine; he can do what he wants.'

"He could be," pressed Pride. Unfortunately for me, when I scoffed at his response, I had done it out loud, interrupting whatever she was going on about it.

"Is there something funny about this?" hissed the man, pulling Alicia even closer to him.

Cocking my head to the side, I wondered how I could respond. I mean, I did find it funny that she had all this knowledge about the scary zombies but didn't tell anyone until this exact moment.

I also found it funny that my actions were echoed by the zombies as if they were waiting for her to finish her thoughts before attacking. It was like they knew they were in complete control of the situation and were in no rush, taking pleasure in drawing everything out.

They so wanted the jump scare, and I was a baby when it came to that form of fear.

"I'm sorry," I replied instead. "I was having a conversation with one of the voices in my head, and I forgot to keep quiet."

Alicia turned to look at me, her eyes moving up and down my body before she turned her attention to Dimitri.

Nope.

Fuck that.

The line was drawn. She could keep the prick all she wanted, but if she thought for a second that she was going to get my Dimitri, I would teach her the error of her ways.

"You were saying?" I asked, my voice blank as she continued to stare at where Dimitri's arm was wrapped across the front of my chest. Gripping Teddy so tight I was worried I might hurt him, I forced myself to relax.

"The only way to kill them is to burn them."