NOVEL WEB Chapter 25: A Salted Fish
The second the body hit the floor, everyone was on their feet, looking around for the threat.
Or at least that was what I assumed any smart person would be doing right about now. The only problem was that it was in the dead of night, and the only light source we had was the full moon shining through the windows around us.
Using Dimitri's eyesight as he wrapped an arm around me from behind, all I could see was shadows.
"That's probably not good," I mused, cocking my head to the side. I could have sworn that I saw the smart zombies as his eyes skimmed the scene in front of me, but that wasn't possible.
"What's not?" asked Dimitri, his voice calm, even as he held his gun in front of us, waiting to take his shot.
"I can feel them, but…" My voice trailed off. I didn't want to tell him that I couldn't see him. As much as I was obsessed with the man behind me, a girl had to have her secrets. Besides, it was more than just an issue with not being able to see them.
"I can't hear them," I continued, finding the right words. "No shuffling, no moaning, nothing. It's like they are…" Once again, my limited vocabulary was hindering me, but that didn't matter.
The calm dude that I thought was a good guy but clearly wasn't had had enough of me trying to explain.
"If you have nothing to add to the situation, then don't talk." His voice was once again calm, but his Northern accent seemed to be strained like he knew how he should speak, but it wasn't natural.
"Well, isn't he just a ray of sunshine," chuckled Lust, his breath tickling my neck.
"Twenty down that he is the first one to be killed," added Greed, his voice taking on a hint of laughter. "Anyone wanna take that bet?"
"No," snapped Pride. "And he won't die."
"If you are so sure, then why won't you put money on it?" purred Greed. It was the first time I had ever heard him stirring the pot like this, but I also kind of liked this side of him.
"I'll bite," interjected a new voice. "Gluttony at your service, Pudding Pop. And trust me when I say that I am going to be your favorite flavor."
The fifth voice, Gluttony, left me so stunned that I had completely forgotten about the danger they were in. Pudding Pop? What the hell was a Pudding Pop?
Shrugging my shoulders, I ignored the guys and waited for the humans to find a way out of our current mess. If the only thing I had to worry about was the dumb zombies who couldn't climb stairs, I figured that I could pretty much coast through this whole apocalypse.
"And grant wishes," reminded Gluttony. "Don't forget, in between being a pampered princess Pudding Pop, you will be so much happier granting wishes. Don't you want us with you for all time? Wishes will do that for you."
Right. I couldn't be a salted fish, no matter how much I wanted to be. I needed to be a genie in a bottle.
So, who was the first person here to make a wish?
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Désiré held his firearm in front of him, scanning the area as he moved slowly toward where Dimitri and the woman were standing.
'I still can't decide if I like you or hate you,' murmured the voice in his head, his voice so soft and silky that Désiré almost threw up a bit. He had nothing against people attracted to the same sex, but every time he heard the voice in his head, he wanted to scrub himself clean.
'Is assure you, the feelin' be entirely mutual,' replied Désiré as he finally reached his dream girl in the arms of his brother. 'So, whys don't you do us all a favor an' fuck off until we don't have no creature breathin' down our necks.'
'Because I have a secret that you don't know about,' replied the voice, his purr so deep it almost sounded like the hiss of a snake.
'Then feel free to keep it to yourself. I donna want to know secrets, especially yours.'
'Fine, if you don't want to know how to save our little Pet, then you just keep doing what you were before. This world is full of meat sacks to take; you and your brothers aren't all that special.'
Désiré paused for a second, his eyes still scanning for the threat. His entire body was putting off warning bells so loud he was surprised that he was surprised that others couldn't hear them. What the fuck were these creatures waiting for? A dinner bell?
Then, the voice's words finally penetrated through the warning bells.
'Pet?' Désiré asked, his eyebrows raising in surprise. He normally wouldn't condone calling a woman' Pet,' but for some reason, it seemed to fit the little angel in Dimitri's arms.
'Mmmm,' hummed the voice. 'We are the only ones who can save her…'
'Tell me how,' demanded Désiré, his gun never wavering for a second, even as what felt like a boatload of information hit his head, almost sending him to his knees.
"D?" grunted Luca, appearing on his other side. "Yous good?"
Désiré grunted as information continued to flood through his mind, most likely a result of the fucking voice in his head. His temples throbbed, and he was forced to close his eyes as he steadied himself.
"Never better," he whispered back. If his voice could give him all this knowledge, where the fuck was he during high school math? Life would have been that much easier.
'She wasn't with you then,' shrugged the voice. 'Now, do you know how to kill these things?'
'I donna be havin' any fire,' sneered Désiré. It's nice that he now knew what worked and didn't work when it came to these creatures, but it wasn't like he carried around a flame thrower everywhere he went.
'And that, mon ami, is where the vaccine comes in,' smirked the voice, and, not for the first time, Désiré wished he could strangle something that didn't exist.