Autumn's Final Dynasty

It was a long way from Gargogryeo to Tianming Town. Bon Bao didn't care for the city's noise – or its decadence. In ancient times, Gargogryeo suffered more under the rule of giants and hobgoblins than any other land. Suffering forged the Gargogryeon people into honest weapons. Business ruled the world instead of giants, now, but all was not lost. Businessmen wanted muscle. The residents of Great Yao's river plains thought muscles meant labor, so they tried to be as thin or plump as possible.

That created opportunities for muscular young foreigners like Bon Bao.

He was not a gambler. But casinos had two things: good money and bad customers. Bon Bao intended to help fix the latter in exchange for the former. He had only gotten into the establishment, however, when a thin woman in expensive clothes took hold of his magnificent glutes.

Well, all right then. Bon Bao was born a farm boy in a bitter land. Heaven designed his body for livestock and farm girls. Or landladies who owned riverside property. The thin woman with expensive clothes managed. When everything was tucked back in, they re-entered the casino separately and pretended they had never seen one another.

Then Bon Bao ran across that little twink seated at a private table.

Warakirikobans were small and cute, like kittens. They were vicious like kittens, too. As history recorded, Warakirikobu was first to rebel against the giants and hobgoblins ten or twenty thousand years ago. Warakirikoban occultists stood first in the world with water magic, summoning fey spirits – and poison. The twink giggling beneath Bon Bao's magnificent pectoral muscles was particularly small and particularly cute. Also, he cheated better than accomplished cheaters. Wherever more met the eye than was there to see, opportunities followed.

Bon Bao followed that opportunity to the casino's teller window – and then out the door. After throwing the twink over his shoulder, he stabilized the load by laying a firm hand on a tiny behind.

That tiny behind was both as hard and sharp as cut glass.

"Should I call you 'Insouciant Scholar,' or…?" Bon Bao asked.

"Ganimedzu-no-kami Renjie is my name."

"That's a mouthful," said Bon Bao.

"The rest isn't! Where are we going? To your secret lair? What will we do there?"

His accent was so cute there was a chance it might drive Bon Bao insane.

"I'm taking you to friendlier turf," said the muscle hunk. "Near my secret lair."

"Do you think we're going to get… what's the word?"

"Jumped?" asked Bon Bao. "Yes. We'll get jumped by two aggrieved parties."

"Oh my gosh!" said Renjie. "That's so exciting! Two?"

"The young heroes believe you cheated them."

"But why?"

"Because they were cheating you," said Bon Bao, "and you still won."

"I see," said Renjie. "The second group belongs to that woman you met earlier?"

"How do you know I met a woman earlier?"

"I have an extraordinary sense of smell," said Renjie, "and you smell extraordinary. My nose is much cuter, of course, but one of my brothers also has an extraordinary sense of smell. In fact, all his senses are extraordinary. You didn't hear it from me, but he might be a werewolf."

"You are as far from a werewolf as anyone can get," said Bon Bao. "There isn't a single hair below your nostrils."

"Oh my gosh!" said Renjie. "How did you know?"

"I have an extraordinary sense of feeling," said Bon Bao, "and you feel extraordinary."

"I see! Can you handle getting jumped by two aggrieved parties?"

"Mu Lang will give me some trouble."

"But? You'll still win?"

"People who fight for poetry are no match for people who fight for booty."

"I see!" said Renjie. "Aren't we giving them extra time to plan and gather forces?"

"Yes," said Bon Bao.

"Oh my gosh! That's so exciting!" said Renjie.

"What if I really am abducting you?" asked Bon Bao.

"Don't be a big silly," said Renjie. "You'd already be dead."

Bon Bao paused. The imp stated something so absurd with such certainty, it was… sexy. He slapped the tiny rump.

"It hurts!" cried Renjie.

"It's rough on the hand, too. Why is your little butt so hard?"

"I climb rocks."

"If I hurt my hand on you again, will you kill me?"

"Muscular Benefactor," said Renjie. "I've never killed anyone."

"Who would avenge your booty's honor?"

"Princess Iba Algi," said Renjie. "She's very possessive of her future husband's honor."

"Never heard of her."

"She is the great granddaughter of the Last Lechun Emperor," said Renjie, "and the Number One Latent Threat to Great Yao."

Bon Bao snorted.

"Number one threat according to…?" he asked.

"Moonlight Chamber Supreme Commander Alistair Sand."

"I know the Floating World pretty well," said Bon Bao.

"Then you know Alistair."

"Of course," said Bon Bao. "But anyone that man considers a threat…."

"The number one latent threat," said Renjie.

"...is also someone I should know."

"Princess Iba Algi is ten," said Renjie. "Almost eleven."

"This girl will fly here and kill me if I spank you?"

"She'll tell Snowblind Tigress," said Renjie, "who will teleport here and kill you."

Bon Bao paused – then slapped that tiny booty one more time.

"It hurts!" protested Renjie.

"I see why you never tried to bluff," said Bon Bao. "You're terrible at it."

"You don't believe me?" asked Renjie with great big eyes.

"Even if I did," said Bon Bao, "for someone like me, getting killed by Snowblind Tigress would be a big high. Enough nonsense. Why did you keep those crappy clothes?"

"They have a suspicious scent."

"The hung young heroes were also engaged in back-alley hanky-panky?"

Renjie shook his head.

"No," he said. "Three of them are still virgins."

"That little nose can tell by sniffing old clothes?"

Renjie nodded.

"Does the Princess know about your fetishes?" asked Bon Bao.

"Princess Iba Algi's ability to know things is what Moonlight Chamber fears most," said Renjie. "But there's more to this than twenty-something-year-old virgins."

"What more?" asked Bon Bao.

"I'll need to confer with my people."

"Meaning the Princess?"

"And her people," said Renjie.

"Who are her people?"

"Spirits and ghosts, mostly," said Renjie. "But also a few demons."

"You're as creative as you are cute."

"Muscular Benefactor," said Renjie. "No one is that creative."