Autumn's Final Dynasty

"I know you saw us coming," the hero said.

"Senior," said Renjie, "I'm confident we saw one another coming."

"It's easier for one person to move out of the way than four," said the hero.

"Irrelevant," replied Renjie. "I'm cuter."

"Irrelevant," said the hero. "This is a casino, not a host club."

"Correction," said Renjie. "This is a casino, host club, hostess club, and drag bar."

"Insouciant Scholar is not one of the hosts, hostesses, or drag performers," said the hero.

"And you are?" asked Renjie.

"Mu Lang."

"Oh!" said Renjie. "Young Master Mu Lang of Jian Peak Abbey. How tasty!"

Renjie put his hands on Hero Lang's hips and felt around for hidden weapons. The crowd gasped. Mu Lang was the heir of Sacred Mountain Conclave's Jian Abbey. Being cuter than a demonic red panda had previously allowed Renjie to get away with anything. This time was no different. The rising young swordsman allowed Renjie to search even the most ridiculous places for hidden weapons.

"Because this is at least in part a gambling establishment…," said Mu Lang.

"Gambling!" replied Renjie. "I'm shocked!"

"Are you done looking for hidden weapons?"

"I found one. I didn't know hidden weapons got so big. I think it's getting bigger!"

"Because this is a gambling house," said Mu Lang, "let's settle our dispute with tiles."

Renjie stepped back.

"Accepted!" he said.

They sat at a private table. Renjie agreed to let one of the young heroes deal. As night deepened, stakes rose. A crowd gathered. Renjie looked at the latest batch of tiles in his hand. They were good. Really good. He looked at the tiles face up in front of him. They were also good. Really good. He looked at how high the betting had risen.

It wasn't Jade Palace Mound, but it was still pretty high.

"Fold," he said.

The crowd gasped again. How could Insouciant Scholar be so… not-insouciant?

"Fold?" asked the young hero who was dealing.

Only a few inches taller than Renjie, he was the smallest and cutest of the foursome.

"I can't win," said Renjie.

He ordered drinks to cheer up the crowd.

"What's in front of you is winning," said Mu Lang. "Or is Insouciant Scholar accusing us?"

"Senior," sighed Renjie. "Be appeased. Take the money."

Hey! That would make a great slogan! Renjie tapped the table with his fingertips.

"Well, it's been a good night," he said.

"You can't leave now," said Lang.

"I'm back to where I started," said Renjie. "That's the best time to leave. Furthermore, being this cute requires a lot of sleep."

"Back to where you started," said an onlooker, "not counting all those drinks."

The onlooker was taller than Mu Lang, with much broader shoulders. His head was a rectangular solid, powerful and intimidating, but his face retained a certain youthful softness. Peachy stubble trimmed his jaw. That fuzz made Renjie swoon. No matter how hard he looked, and what ridiculous poses he assumed, the Fourth Prince could not find a single hair on his own body anywhere below his perfect nose. The stranger's most remarkable feature, however, was muscle.

So much muscle!

Also, he smelled like sex within the last hour – and a bath within the last week. That was pretty remarkable, too.

"What most angered these heroes," said the aromatic stranger, "was your hand."

"Clearly I didn't cheat!" protested Renjie. "I folded!"

"You were supposed to go all-in."

"Was I?"

"Yes," said the stranger. "Then one of them would reveal an even better hand."

"Now that is an accusation," said Mu Lang.

Tensions rose. Hero Lang stood.

"Sit down," said the stranger, "or I'll knock you through that wall."

"Muscular Benefactor," said Renjie. "That wall is a boulder dropped by an iceberg during the last glacial maximum. No, no, no. Let's not resort to kung fu prematurely. If all-in is what the young heroes want, the I – the Insouciant Scholar – shall not deny them! Let's have one roll. Even, I lose all this. Odd, I take what the young heroes are wearing."

The crowd approved.

"Including what's underneath?" asked Muscular Benefactor.

"Especially what's underneath," said Renjie.

The crowd approved more. Young Hero Lang hesitated.

"Alright," said Renjie. "I will make an Extravagant Gesture. Madam!"

"Insouciant Scholar?" asked Pikapeko, immediately there.

"Could you ask the teller to send over more notes? I'll double my bet!"

"Insouciant Scholar knows how delighted I would be to do so," replied Pikapeko.

The crowd's enthusiasm ramped up in linear proportion to the stakes.

"Who rolls?" asked Mu Lang.

Renjie gestured graciously to the young heroes.

"You should have announced your choice after the roll," whispered Muscular Benefactor.

"It's fine," whispered Renjie.

"Those clothes aren't worth anything," whispered Muscular Benefactor.

"It's fine," whispered Renjie.

He patted a magnificent rump. Oh. My. Gosh! It was so big and even harder! Mu Lang nodded to the dealer. That young man put a die in a tumbler, shook, and set the tumbler down.

"Who lifts?" asked Mu Lang.

Renjie gestured graciously. Young Hero Lang lifted. Three.

"Three is…," said Renjie.

"Odd," said Muscular Benefactor.

He folded his magnificent arms across his chest. Oh. My. Gosh! It was so big and even harder! The crowd cheered. Mu Lang didn't believe what happened. He looked at his smaller martial brother sternly. Honorable to a fault, however, he put on a good show. Oh. My. Gosh! It was so big and Renjie nearly fainted. After recovering his sense of time and place, the giddy imp redeposited his funds with the teller. Madam Pikapeko presented a bag containing his other winnings, folded neatly, along with a dose of skepticism.

"Insouciant Scholar," sighed the madam. "Really?"

"These clothes are worth nothing," Renjie conceded. "But the memories are priceless."

"Which means they aren't worth anything, either," said Muscular Benefactor.

They stepped out into a warm summer night. Renjie thumped his small fists on his benefactor's magnificent chest, repeatedly.

"That was so exciting!" he said. "And you are?"

"Bon Bao," replied the stranger. "The excitement isn't over yet."

Bon Bao tossed the Fourth Prince over his shoulder.

"Oh my gosh!" said Renjie. "Are you abducting me?"

"Every book published in Gargogryeo over the last hundred years features one theme," said Bon Bao. "A cute girl dresses like a boy so she can do things cute girls shouldn't do."

"Are you saying I'm a cute girl dressed as a boy?" asked Renjie. "That's easy to…."

"I'm saying you're out past your bedtime."

"So, does that mean you're abducting me?"