As Aizen in Naruto and Joined a Chat Group

Silence.

At this moment, the entire chat fell into an odd silence.

They believed it! Kotaro, the idiot, actually believed the Aizen Virus story! And he's seriously thinking about getting vaccinated? What a fool!

Even Gintoki and everyone else in the group thought this way.

Although they all knew Kotaro had some idiotic tendencies, like riding his bike to a zoo, they didn't expect this to be far from his lowest point.

Curly-haired Guy: *Cough*, no, the vaccine won't help. This is a special world-wide virus, it infects worlds, not individual humans.

Wig Guy: I see.

Curly-haired Guy: Yeah, and that's what makes it scarier. Every world infected by the Aizen Virus creates a new Aizen Sosuke. You've already seen how terrifying he is, right?

Wig Guy: Damn it, what should we do? (Expression: Fear)

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: ...

Saten Ruiko's mouth twitched, not knowing how to comment. How can anyone believe such an obvious lie?

*Pfft, hahahahaha!*

Gintoki was laughing so hard, he was holding his chest and rolling on the floor. Damn, does this person even have a chance? With a brain like that, they couldn't even donate it for science!

But, gotta keep up the act. He quickly composed himself and sent another message: Don't panic, the Aizen Virus hasn't fully arrived yet, we still have a chance!

Wig Guy: Got it! What should we do?

Curly-haired Guy: Well, I haven't figured that out yet... but we'll think of something.

Wig Guy: Really? I have an immature idea. I think we can pretend to cooperate with Aizen, make him let his guard down. Then, we'll secretly build up our strength and take him down all at once!

Curly-haired Guy: Hmm... *Cough*. Not bad.

Gintoki almost couldn't reply because he was laughing too hard. Damn, take him down all at once? You're dreaming if you think you can do that!

This is an Actor: So how do we make him let his guard down?

Wig Guy: Give him what he likes, start by sending him some beautiful housewives!

Amegakure Village's Angel: ?

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: *Pfft!*

Doujin Artist: Damn, that's your own fetish! Don't make Aizen out to be some weirdo like you!

Wig Guy: With that, we can get into Aizen's inner circle. After that, we can use his power to wipe out the Shinsengumi, then take out the Ten Dao group, and take over the world!

Cleaver Girl: And then?

Wig Guy: Then, I'll become the Prime Minister, and Gintoki will be the new Defense Minister.

Doujin Artist: What about Aizen? Didn't you say we'd take him down? You're just thinking about using Aizen's power to climb to the top, huh? What happened to your goal of overthrowing the government?

Wig Guy: I'm saving the country through indirect means!

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: Wow, even a traitor to the country is calling this pro-level!

Curly-haired Guy: No, I'm in on the plan. But I want to be the Minister of Finance.

Wig Guy: No problem.

Shark-Faced Guy: …

Doujin Artist: Your dead comrades must be crying right now! You two are shameless!

Curly-haired Guy: C-come on, calling us scum is too much! I mean, there are reasons, right? We can't fight back against Lord Aizen's power.

Wig Guy: Exactly. Even if our fallen comrades knew about this, I think they'd forgive us.

Amegakure Village's Angel: These two are completely rotten.

Wig Guy: Anyway, Gintoki! For the good of our country and future, I have to go prepare! Watch more DVDs and learn more stuff!

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: ? What kind of future are you even planning for this country?

Doujin Artist: He's gone offline.

Machete Girl: You think he's faking it? Maybe he's starting to doubt things?

Curly-haired Guy: Kotonoha-chan, do you really think Wig Guy could come up with a plan like this? Hah, you're giving him way too much credit!

Doujin Artist: Don't act like you're any better. You two are basically the same. But seriously, is Anzen-san really planning to cause trouble in the Gintama world?

This is an Actor: Well, world missions need to get done after all.

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: World missions?

Scarlet Lotus Fairy: It's the pinned one in the mission tab. Every time we take control of a world, all group members get 10,000 points. And if you're from that world, you get partial control over it. The group leader, though, gets total control.

Doujin Artist: Partial control and total control? That's basically being a god.

Amegakure Village's Angel: True, but taking over a whole world isn't easy. You need unbeatable power, strong influence, and a good public image! You have to make yourself into a god that the people of that world actually recognize first—then you can really become one.

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: Got it. Since Gintoki and Katsura are both totally unreliable… Anzen-san's planning to go to the Gintama world himself?

Doujin Artist: Was that even in question? There's no way those two could finish the mission, not even in a thousand years!

Curly-haired Guy: Bull! If it wasn't for that idiot Wig Guy slowing me down, I could've done it in a year! But because of him, I've been stuck for 999 years!

Shark-Faced Guy: So if you're going into the Gintama world, where do you plan to start, Aizen?

This is an Actor: Yoshiwara.

Yoshiwara?

When she saw that name, Konan froze: I'm coming too!

Yoshiwara is a famous red-light district in Edo. If Anzen-san goes in there, it's like a sheep walking into a den of wolves! Those women will have him tied up and twisted into all kinds of poses! No way I'm letting that happen!

This is an Actor: I don't mind. But if the Arrancar back in the Pure Land notice both of us are gone, what do you think will happen?

Aizen wasn't actually worried about Konan coming along. It's not like he really wanted to visit brothels. He hadn't finished mastering his role yet—he wasn't about to ruin his own plan.

Amegakure Village's Angel: Damn it, I'll destroy them all eventually!

Konan wasn't happy, but she had to admit Aizen had a point.

Most of those Arrancar were mentally unstable, super strong, and short-tempered. They only acted calm because Aizen's power kept them in check. If both he and Konan left the Pure Land, the place would definitely fall apart.

This is an Actor: You don't need to do anything.

Aizen didn't plan on keeping the Arrancar around forever. Most of them were already marked for death, aside from a few exceptions. Still, he was kind in his own way. If possible, he didn't want to be the one to kill them himself.

Doujin Artist: So Anzen-san's really going with Wig Guy's plan? Starting by taking out that Yoshiwara?

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: If that's the case, won't Anzen-san become the new Night King? Night King… Aizen?

This is an Actor: Relax, at least I won't wipe out the Shinsengumi. After all, our Gintoki's soulmate is one of them.

Machete Girl: Gintoki's soulmate?

Doujin Artist: Hijikata Toshiro. [Image]

It was that DVD promo image of Gintoki and Hijikata biting flower petals and holding hands tightly. Eriri actually saved it.

Machete Girl: T-this is…

Kotonoha felt like her innocent heart had just taken a direct hit.

Curly-haired Guy: Delete it, delete it right now! Damn it, my whole heroic image has been ruined by that dumb marketing plan! Why did it have to be that dead-fish-eyed tax thief? Even if it was that guy Shinpachi, it would've been better! 

Doujin Artist: ?

Skirt-Flipping Maniac: ?

Machete Girl: Shinpachi…?

[Notice: Scarlet Lotus Fairy has started a livestream.]