Apocalypse’s Teacher

Chapter 102

'A frog forgets its tadpole days.' This is a proverb.

It was a phrase that perfectly fit my situation.

'Burden.'

I placed a burden.

What I gave to Dayoon was a charity-like affection, one I had repeatedly told myself I mustn't give, that stemmed from seeing the child only in fragments and meeting only the visible needs.

"Serco."

The reprimand pierced my chest.

I lowered my head deeply, unable to say anything, like a child being scolded by an adult.

It felt as if someone was squeezing my stomach tightly.

It felt like there was a rope tied around my throat.

The heat radiating in sync with the pounding of my heart was so intense it made my head spin.

"I...."

Thud-.

Helen grabbed my wrist.

"Serco, are you in shock?"

The face that was always dazed or frivolous now bore an angry expression I had never seen before.

I recalled a fact I had forgotten.

Yes, Helen was like me.

She was a child abandoned without parents to rely on.

'No.'

If anything, she was more similar to Dayoon.

Being so bright and receiving everyone's expectations, she must have faced the same situation Dayoon is in now.

That must be why my careless actions angered her so much.

My lips opened slightly.

"I'm, sor...."

"No need to apologize to me."

Helen pointed to the closed door with her index finger.

"Apologize to Dayoon."

*

Another day passed.

Dayoon didn't come out of her room except for meal times.

The child who usually spent most of her day in the living room had locked herself in her room.

I hesitated in front of that door.

'What should I say?'

I didn't know.

I worried all night and even this morning, but I still didn't know.

Thinking of Dayoon, who wouldn't even look at me, I couldn't help but wonder, 'Is it already too late?'

Grit-.

I clenched my teeth tightly.

I forced away the rising negative thoughts.

'Even children know they must apologize for their mistakes.'

Being scared beforehand is the reason I feel ashamed of myself.

Turning away here wouldn't be for Dayoon's sake; it would be for my own pride.

Therefore, the anxiety that arises is a wall I must break through.

Knock knock-.

"...Dayoon. May I come in?"

Silence filled the air.

The door in front of me remained firmly closed, as if it were Dayoon's heart, and gave no reply.

The quiet air clung to my skin, amplifying the awkwardness.

Standing still, I felt the weight pressing down on my legs.

The sound of my breathing lingering near my ears only increased my tension.

Amidst it all.

Creak-.

The door opened just a little.

"...Why."

I saw Dayoon through the crack in the door.

Dayoon was gripping the doorknob tightly, staring at the floor.

*

Actually, I hadn't often come into the room Dayoon and Dabin used.

When I did, it was mostly to wake them up or to get them to stop chatting late at night, so this was the first time I truly looked around the room.

'Books.'

I saw books filling one side of the wall.

Every time I went on an outside exploration, I would bring back a few, and they had piled up to fill the space.

Next to them were Dabin's toys.

And gifts like decorations and dolls I had given them from time to time.

Everything that filled the room showed careful maintenance.

Dabin was sitting on the bed, hugging her knees.

She still wasn't looking at me.

I moved my lips as if to speak but stopped, calming my anxious thoughts.

Then I looked around the room again.

That's when something caught my eye.

'...Board game.'

On the bottom shelf of the bookcase, there was a board game I had brought for the children to play together.

That was right around the start of this winter.

'It's here.'

It was a board game we hadn't ended up playing because of various circumstances.

Even the board game I had long forgotten was neatly kept among Dayoon's belongings.

'Expectations....'

Did she have them?

Did Dayoon want to play that?

My fists clenched for no reason.

I composed my troubled expression and slowly got up to take out the board game.

'Blue Marble.'

That title was written on the box.

Dayoon was now quietly watching me.

I put on the brightest face I could manage and held it out to her.

"Want to play?"

Dayoon flinched and stared intently at the board game.

Then, she gave a truly grateful answer.

"...Okay."

*

I didn't know how many hours had passed.

Dayoon kept her mouth shut most of the time except when absolutely necessary, and I kept talking nonstop, not even knowing what I was saying.

From the game rules to how to win.

About the cities listed on each square of the board, which were capitals of certain countries, and the buildings to be constructed there.

Talking like that, I even made a ridiculous comment about how owning a building at a resort like that would be a dream come true.

As it turned out, I won the first three rounds.

I lost every game after that.

"Bankrupt...."

"Ah, looks like I'm broke again."

Dayoon, with her flushed face, organized her words hesitantly.

Then, she shuffled the cards and set them up on the table again.

It seemed she was ready to play again.

Dayoon handed me a card.

"...You have to draw."

The game starts once a card is drawn.

I looked at Dayoon, who was clutching the dice tightly in one hand, waiting for my move.

'She's smiling.'

A faint smile lingered on Dayoon's lips.

Even though it was the same smile Dabin gave with the same face, seeing it in such a shy way made it clear that Dayoon was a different person.

It was only today that I realized Dayoon has dimples when she smiles.

I also learned that when Dayoon is happy, she blushes, and when she's angry, she wrinkles her nose.

I found out that Dayoon prefers building small houses over constructing hotels and resorts.

Only now, I began to understand Dayoon, not just what she was good at.

"Dayoon."

"Yes...?"

"Uncle is sorry."

So I apologized.

Dayoon tilted her head slightly.

The card was still extended toward me.

I chuckled softly, took the card, and continued speaking.

"I'm sorry for only making you study, Dayoon."

Dayoon's movements paused slightly.

Her expression faltered momentarily before returning to normal.

Dayoon started the game.

She rolled the dice, got a '1' and a '4,' and moved forward five spaces.

She built a small house.

"I'm sorry if it felt like I forced you to study, Dayoon. I'm really sorry."

I rolled the dice.

I got a '5' and a '6,' and moved forward eleven spaces.

I built a house, a resort, and a hotel.

"Uncle is fine even if you don't study, Dayoon, as long as you smile a lot."

Dayoon rolled the dice.

She landed on a property I had bought.

Dayoon groaned and, after venting her frustration, bought the property and built a landmark on it.

"Like today, we can play board games, card games, and even gather eggs with Kkokkok. I'd like us to spend time like that."

Dayoon's hand stopped.

She had been about to hand me the dice.

"...I."

Her lips trembled.

She stopped herself from speaking, glanced at me nervously, and then looked down at the board game.

I waited patiently through her long hesitation.

"I... don't know."

"What?"

"What I want to do... I don't know."

Then, she lifted her head.

"...That's why I can't answer."

Dayoon looked gloomy.

"...I thought about it, but I just don't know."

'Ah.'

-What do you want to be when you grow up, Dayoon?

Now, Dayoon was answering that very question.

Only now did I realize why Dayoon had locked herself behind that door.

'She's been thinking about it all along.'

To answer the question I had asked.

Because I kept acting like I expected an answer.

Because she wanted to meet those expectations.

'Dayoon....'

She wasn't angry—she was scared.

My eyes brimmed with heat.

I tightly closed my mouth and pressed my tongue against the roof of my mouth to swallow the breath trying to escape.

If I spoke now, I felt I might break down and cry miserably.

Swallowing all the air lingering in my mouth, I finally spoke.

"...It's okay."

I placed my hand over Dayoon's hand that was gripping the dice tightly.

"It's okay, Dayoon."

"...?"

"Not knowing is normal, so don't be afraid...."

Who in the world follows a steadfast dream for their entire life?

Who in the world carries an unchanging ideal at such a young age?

No one.

There was no one like that in the world.

People start clumsily, dreaming of many things, or dreaming of nothing at all.

And as they drift along, they reach out for what they can grasp.

If what they happen to grasp feels truly beautiful, that becomes their dream.

At least, that's the kind of dream I knew.

"It's still fine, so you don't have to answer now. No, if you don't know, it's okay to say so."

The hands we held together were warm.

Dayoon rolled the dice slowly, blushing.

"Take your time. It's okay not to have anything yet. Let's think about it slowly."

Dayoon pursed her lips.

Then, she smiled just enough to show her dimples.

"...Okay."

Only then did Dayoon give me a bright smile.

And she handed me the dice.