ANBU: Card System In Naruto

***
I think there had been a slight misinterpretation in how people perceive the talent card 'Tranquility.' What I intended with it was... well... numerically speaking, it was something like this: Chakra Recovery: 0.1%/min amid combat.
***

"Yes. Right. My Treat. Kushina-chan would you mind if Iiii-uhhhh..."

Before she could finish her statement, the redhead grabbed her hand and jumped out the window and into the streets, all the while dragging her behind.

'H-help!'

[Error! No data was found on the current situation! Apt response is being generated! 'Good luck!']

'Fuck you too!'

***

Kaori was falling, she was falling hard, and it was not love that was making her fall but the Village's ultimate weapon that was running down the building,

'Hmm... how did I get here again?'

[You are supposed to treat the individual Uzumaki Kushina to a bowl of Ramen at the shop 'Ramen Teuchi.']

'Was I? Strange, I can't seem to remember.'

[The system suspects that the short-term amnesia might be the result of extreme trauma.]

'That doesn't make sense.'

Still, it would be bad if someone else from the department saw her going about in her Uniform without a mask on,

'Transform!'

A puff of smoke later, she was no longer wearing her ANBU uniform but casual civilian clothes.

"Kushina-chan! Slow down will ya'!"

The Jinchuriki bounded away happily, dragging the unfortunate ANBU behind her like a rag doll. And just like a child, the redhead didn't bother paying any attention to what happened to her doll,

*BANG!*

[Oof!]

That was a wall... in the face.

*CRASH!*

An electric poll straight to the guts.

[Ouch!]

*SMASH!*

"HOT! HOT! HOT!"

And that was hot water, from... somewhere.

"Relax, Kaori-onee! It's not like we are causing any trouble or anything ya know."

Kaori's eyes twitched as she felt the hot water drip down her face. She didn't know how much more of this her body could handle, but thankfully, Kushina's house was close to the ramen booth, probably the main reason why she bought it.

They skidded to a halt before the shop... well, Kushina did. Kaori went flying past her and into the dumpster next door.

*SLAM*

Her motionless body slowly sank into the garbage heap, her hand the last thing visible when,

*BANG*

The metal lid fell into place, sealing the garbage box.

[Damn!]

"Brother-Teuchi! Two Ultimate Deluxe Mega Spicy Beef and Rice Cake Combo Ramen please!"

Mrs. Ichiraku, the woman never once mentioned throughout the show, smiled at Kushina's antics and relayed the order to her husband back in the kitchen,

"Two Deluxe Mega Combo for the usual couple!"

A muffled voice answered from somewhere way back inside,

"Coming right up!"

Mrs. Ichiraku smiled, showing away a pair of dallying customers and freeing up a particularly comfortable space for Kushina,

"So, what are you two love birds up to now?"

She inquired, the thirst for gossip burning deep within her eyes.

Kushina blushed a deep shade of crimson, or maybe it was just hair, before stammering out a denial,

"I-it's not like that! Minato's off on a mission with Jiraya-sensei... so,"

She began twirling her hair like a little girl, her blush growing deeper with every knowing smirk that the proprietress sent her way,

"Cut it out! It's embarrassing ya' know!"

Mrs. Ichiraku gave a puzzled 'huh' before returning to restock the chopstick holder. Suddenly, she paused,

"Wait, if Minato-san isn't here, then who are you on a date with?"

A filthy hand, covered in blood and soothe, climbed over the counter,

"T-that would b-be me."

Mrs. Ichiraku's stared at the hand in horror, 

"Eeeeek!!!"

Closing her eyes, she started to flail around wildly, throwing stuff everywhere,

"A GHOST!!!"

'Uh-oh'

A kitchen knife sailed past her ears, pinning a leaf drifting down the lain to the electric pole, then came a chopping board, followed by a bunch of other stuff, Kaori had no idea was used in the kitchen. When the proprietress' rampage had finally stopped, she cautiously raised her head, peeping over the counter,

"Gotcha!"

*BANG!*

A kettle filled with sizzling hot tea slammed right into her face, sliding down to reveal a bright red face with blood trickling down her nose. 

Lying flat on her back, Kaori stared at the clouds. They were so... peaceful. She could make out shapes flying by,

'Wait is that you, Nidaime-sama?'

The white-haired figure smiled a father's smile, and beckoned at her with his hand,

'Come join us, Suzume.'

'Hai, Nidaime Hokage-sama!'

Her eyes rolled into her skull and a white apparition floated out of her mouth,

*TING!*

[GAME OVER!]

[KAORI-eh!!!]

"Oops. Maybe I went a bit overboard. Hehehehe."

Grinned the proprietress like a loon, with a hand behind her head and an embarrassed smile on her face. 

Kushina assured her that there was no need to be worried,

"Eh, don't worry! She's fine."

But the brown-headed woman still wiggled around worriedly,

"B-but, what about..."

Kushina blankly waved away her fears,

"I'm pretty sure won't remember a thing. Trust me, I know her better than you, ya know."

***

*SPLASH*

"Hot! Ho-COLD!"

Gasping and spluttering, Kaori sat up to see Kushina staring down at her,

"What happened?"

Kushina gave Mrs. Teuchi a smug smile before answering her question,

"You fell off the stool, silly-onee."

Kaori might have believed her words had it not been for the fact that the redhead was trying her darndest to hide a bucket behind her lithe frame. Her eyes twitched as everything came back to her, and she felt something snap inside her head,

"KU-SHI-NA!!!"

The insolent redhead merely tilted her head,

"Tee-he!"

Kaori felt her blood pressure shoot through the roof, she's supposed to be looking after the redhead, not be a toy to let her sadistic tendencies out at,

"THAT AIN'T GONNA CUT IT THIS TIME!"

However, before Kaori could get her hands on her, 

*SLAM!*

Two gigantic ramen bowls, each twice the size of her head, slammed on the counter right in front of her,

"Two 'Ultimate Deluxe Mega Spicy Beef and Rice Cake Combo Ramen,' just as you ordered."

They were ultimate, alright. Each bowl glowed scarlet red, there was no sign of any vegetables, let alone rice cake or any other milder toppings, only hot, twitching, dead meat floating in a river of red. Suddenly, the soup bubbled and a drop splashed over the counter, making suspicious sizzling noises as it landed on the floor.

"You know the deal! All or nothing! Either you finish the Ramen,"

He leaned in, a shadow falling over his face and a pair of red eyes burning with malice stared down at Kaori,

"Or the Ramen finishes you!"

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