Accountant Isekai

I knelt on the ground, keeping my head as low as I possibly could. My body trembled with nervousness. King Eduard the Defenestrator and Queen Eleanor were both right in front of me.

"My family's liege lord and his wife. If I say something stupid, we're fucked," I thought.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine," Dʰéǵʰom assured me.

I was still in the tent I woke up in. After my talk with Dalv and the gods, it wasn't long before King Eduard and Queen Eleanor came in. Dalv left me in here with them.

"Rise," King Eduard commanded.

Taking a deep breath, I stood up.

"You've accomplished quite a lot, Lord Gustav," my king said.

"You exaggerate, your Majesty," I replied.

The king and queen looked right in my face. They examined every part of my expression. Then, to my surprise, they chuckled. Their composure returned as soon as it left.

"You aren't being humble. You really don't think you accomplished much," Queen Eleanor stated.

"I never met someone as crazy as you," King Eduard added.

"I don't mean to contradict you, your Majesty, but I'm not crazy. I'm perfectly normal," I said.

My king looked at me like I had lost my mind.

"Took him long enough to figure it out," Dʰéǵʰom commented.

"Figure what out?" I thought.

"Never mind."

King Eduard tried to make his expression more dignified.

"I spoke to the dragon. He said that you convinced him to accept a certain business proposal," he said.

"That is true, your Majesty," I replied.

"You convinced a large dragon to involve himself in a human business."

"He was a very agreeable dragon. Persuading him wasn't hard."

"Even so, most people wouldn't even consider talking to a dragon his size. It's almost certain death," King Eduard stated.

"Yes, your Majesty," I said.

"And then, you flew on him for three days, stopping only to get water. More than that, you rode a dragon bareback. Most people would have given up after half a day."

I chose my next words with care.

"Your Majesty, I would prefer it if you didn't needlessly flatter me. I don't think Dʰéǵʰom would approve," I stated.

"It isn't need..." King Eduard shook his head.

A jolt of fear pulsed through me.

"Lord Gustav, you are painfully unaware of yourself," Queen Eleanor said.

Confusion replaced my fear.

"I am?" I asked.

"By the gods, you are," King Eduard's face was covered in frustration. "I must be feeling what you felt earlier today."

He shook his head.

"You rode a large dragon into the middle of two armies and Dalv's personal guard. Then, you demanded to speak to the monarchs. Even for a saint acting on behalf of a god, that takes balls," King Eduard said.

Fear crept back into me.

"Fuck! I pissed off the king! I need to make this right!" I thought before speaking. "I apologize for disrespecting you."

King Eduard facepalmed. His wife joined him.

"Lord Gustav, the point my husband is trying to make is that you impressed him," she said.

They put their hands off their faces.

"Even if it was in the name of Dʰéǵʰom, you saved us from economic ruination. I don't even know what would have happened if you weren't here," King Eduard stated.

"Thank you, your Majesty," I said.

"I wish to reward you for your deeds."

"I'm unworthy, your Majesty."

King Eduard observed my face. Then, relief flowed through him.

"Thank the gods, you're actually being humble this time," he said.

"That's good," Eleanor added. "I would hope that someone Dʰéǵʰom chose to be a saint would be able to see a good opportunity."

I looked between both monarchs. Nervousness flowed through me. Just what reward would I get?

King Eduard stood with complete dignity.

"I have need of a new groom of the stool. Perhaps that position would suit you?"

"Congratulations! You get to be the king's royal ass-whiper!" Dʰéǵʰom said.

"A great honor to the people of this world. It's a very powerful position," I thought.

"So, you're going to refuse it, right?"

"Of course. I could do a lot for the common people if I became the groom of the stool, but that's just too much power. At best, I'd break. At worst, I'd become corrupt."

I knelt.

"Thank you, your Majesty, but I must refuse," I said.

If King Eduard and Queen Eleanor were surprised, they didn't show it.

"You're refusing a position as prestigious as groom of the stool? You would refuse this reward from me?" King Eduard asked.

Fear pulsed through me, but I forced it down. Monarchs are predators. Show them weakness, and they eat you alive.

"I apologize, your Majesty," I said. "But what you're offering me is more power. That doesn't seem like much of a reward to me."

To my surprise, King Eduard and Queen Eleanor smiled.

"Quite the intriguing answer. It isn't what I expected, but I'm not unsatisfied," my king said.

"There are few men like you," Queen Eleanor noted.

I didn't know how to respond to that.

"Rise," King Eduard commanded, and I obeyed.

He then relaxed his face just a little bit.

"Tell me, Lord Gustav, what do you want?"

"There are many things I want. I want to be a good lord who brings prosperity to those under me. I want to serve you well. I want to turn Blitzburg into a merchant city. I want to eat snails and frog legs. I want to..."

"Hold on!" Eduard interrupted me. "What did you just say?"

Queen Eleanor had a look of sheer disgust on her face.

"I want to turn Blitzburg into a merchant city," I said.

"That's not what I'm...I have to give it to you, Lord Gustav. If you were in my court, I would never have a boring day," King Eduard replied.

"Thank you, your Majesty."

"You've done me a great service. As your king, it is my duty to reward you for it. Tell me something that I can do for you, that is reasonable, and that doesn't involve snails or frogs. And, considering your sanity, it can't involve both snails and frogs."

I let a smile cross my face. This was perhaps my best chance.

"The only thing I want from you, your Majesty, is your help solving my family's financial situation," I said.

"Is that all?" King Eduard asked.

"It is my shame to admit that we don't have much money left. We're spending most of our funds on the high elves. I do not wish to involve your Majesties with our petty concerns, but this is all I want for a reward."

"There won't be any snails or frogs involved, right?" Eleanor questioned.

"I already tried selling people cooked snails. It didn't work," I said.

She gave me a 'no shit' look. King Eduard merely nodded.

"Very well. Expect my arrival at your family's castle in a week's time. I will take care of whatever financial issues you have," he stated.

"Thank you, your Majesty."

King Eduard then paused in thought. Worry pulsed through me.

"Lord Gustav, are you a knight yet?" he asked.

"I'm afraid not, your Majesty," I answered.

"As expected. Normally, someone your age would not be a knight," King Eduard said. "However, I believe you earned the title. Even chefs can become knights through their work, and you've accomplished more than being a good cook. Take off your sword before we return."

King Eduard and Queen Eleanor left the tent for a moment. My queen had a sheathed sword when they came back.

King Eduard drew his sword.

"Kneel," he commanded.

I knelt before him. King Eduard placed his sword on my shoulder.

"Normally, you would swear an oath of allegiance to me, but I've lived long enough to know how worthless those are."

King Eduard placed his sword on my other shoulder before sheathing it. Queen Eleanor handed him the sword she held. My king then placed the sword on my hip.

He slapped me right in the face.

"That is the last blow you must take without retaliating," King Eduard said. "Should someone strike you in the future, you must strike back. Now, rise a knight."

I stood up.

"Thank you, your Majesty. Now, I am Sir Lord Saint Gustav von Blitzburg," I said.

"No, you are not."

"Oh."

"You are Saint Sir Gustav Lord von Blitzburg. The saint title comes first," King Eduard explained. "If you ever hold lands of your own and get a title like count of some land, it will be after your surname."

I nodded.

"Thank you for explaining, your Majesty," I said.

"If that's the same as in my world, it explains a lot," I thought.

"You never looked into how noble titles worked in either of your lives?" Dʰéǵʰom wondered.

"That's right. I never gave the faintest fuck about how they worked. Though, I doubt the saint title works that way, considering how you had to be dead to be a saint in my old world."

"You are welcome. I'm surprised you didn't know. Now, do you have a crystal ball?" King Eduard questioned.

"I do."

"Hand me it."

When I did, King Eduard turned it on. He pulled out his crystal ball and added my number to his contacts and his number to mine.

"If I require you, I will call you. I hope that you will inform me if something important comes up. I'd rather not get scared half to death by a dragon again," he stated. "And I noticed that Voivode Dalv is in your contacts."

"I apologize, your Majesty."

"Quite frankly, I don't care how many monarchs you have in your contacts. Dʰéǵʰom wouldn't make someone who'd plot against his king a saint. You're also not self-aware enough to realize how powerful you are. Now, I must attend to more business. Expect another visitor," King Eduard replied.

"Honestly, a part of me wishes you became my husband's groom of the stool. There are some people in court who should get to meet you," Queen Eleanor stated with a slight chuckle.

After that, the two of them left. I let out a sigh of relief.

"That was stressful," I thought.

"It sure looked like it," Dʰéǵʰom replied.

"And the stress isn't over yet. I know who's coming in next, but at least I have some time before she shows up."

The moment I finished that thought, Queen Hildoara walked into the tent. My stress levels rose right back up. I knelt before her. Panic struck Queen Hildoara's face.

"Please, Gustav, you don't need to do that," she said.

Queen Hildoara grabbed me and pulled me up.

"You're a queen now, your Majesty," I replied.

"I am, but you're still my friend," Queen Hildoara stated. "There's nothing wrong with a monarch having friends that they talk to informally, at least in private."

When I saw how well Hildoara had grown, I got a sudden reminder that I was a teenager at the height of puberty. I turned around so Queen Hildoara wouldn't see my reminder.

"You...you won't even look at me?" sadness came into her voice.

Now, I felt panicked.

"It isn't that, your Majesty! I just don't want to offend you," I said.

"What could offend me?" Queen Hildoara wondered.

She moved around me, trying to get to my front. I kept turning so she'd stay behind me. Queen Hildoara grabbed my shoulders and forced me around. We were face-to-face. The queen gazed over my body. She stopped at my hips. An awkward silence came over us.

"I didn't think it would be so big," Queen Hildoara broke it.

"My eyes are up here, your Majesty," I said.

Queen Hildoara let go of my shoulders, looked into my eyes, and stepped back.

"Sorry, sorry, I just..." she rubbed the back of her head.

"It's fine, your Majesty," I said.

"Please don't call me your Majesty. Just call me Hildoara. I don't want you to think that you have to suck up to me constantly. We're friends, Gustav."

She gave me a reassuring smile. I hesitated to say anything.

"Is...is this a test, your Majesty?" I asked.

"By the gods, Gustav, you weren't like this when I was a princess," Hildoara sighed.

"That's because you weren't a queen then, your Majesty."

She pondered a moment. Then, a wicked smile crossed her face.

"This can only mean bad," I thought.

"I know you don't think well of monarchs, Gustav, but have you considered chilling out just a little bit?" Dʰéǵʰom asked.

"Nope."

Hildoara stepped right up to me. She grinned ear to ear.

"The monarch's body is sacred. Perhaps you'd like to touch my sacred body?"

I jumped back.

"What the hell, Hildoara? You can't just make that offer out of nowhere?"

A soft smile crossed her face. Hildoara's eyes became tired.

"Thank the gods, I got you to say my name," she said.

Hildoara sat on the chair and sunk back.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

"We have a lot to talk about, Gustav. Please, drop the formalities. I don't want you of all people to treat me differently," Hildoara answered.

Guilt pulsed through my body. It replaced my nervousness. I sat on the cot.

"Okay, Hildoara. I'm sorry that I got nervous," I said.

"Don't be sorry. Just forget about it, Gustav," she replied.

"Alright. I will."

She took a deep breath.

"First, thank you. As far as I'm concerned, you're the reason why my brother is alive."

"You're the one who saved him. I just gave you some ideas," I said.

"That's your opinion. Mine is different," Hildoara stated. "Don't worry. I don't blame you for making me queen. As far as I'm concerned, that's my brother's fault."

What the fuck?

"Didn't you want to be queen?" I asked.

Hildoara's arms slackened, and she looked at the tent roof.

"By the gods, no. If you made me queen, I'd order you to turn around so I can kick your ass. I never understood why nobles keep grasping at high positions like they grope prostitutes. We already live lives of luxury. What more could we possibly want?" she answered.

"For some people, power is a drug," I said.

"It's the worst drug in the world. I have it, I'm not addicted, and I'm suffering from withdrawal."

I shifted uncomfortably.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I questioned.

"Yes, I do," Hildoara placed a hand over her forehead. "I've never been as stressed out as I have been for these past few weeks. I've had to manage soldiers, deal with nobles who want something from me, all Vandalland's finances, just so much bullshit! And then, I almost went to war! When I saw you, I was terrified. I was worried that I'd have to kill you. I'm so sorry, Gustav. As queen, the needs of Vandalland come before my friends."

I held up my hands.

"Don't worry, Hildoara. I understand. I wouldn't want you to throw away your people for my sake."

"I'm still sorry about it. I'm also sorry that I couldn't help you talk to King Eduard," she said.

"You handled yourself fine," I replied.

"Fine? I was so nervous that I could barely speak. It took so much effort to keep my feelings hidden," Hildoara stated.

"I can't imagine what that's like," I lied.

"Liar," she turned her head to face me.

There was a smirk on her face.

"I can see right through you, Gustav. You've been freaking out inside, haven't you?"

"Yeah, I have," I admitted.

"It looks like we're in the same boat."

"I wouldn't go that far. We're in two boats that crashed into each other."

"That's going further," Hildoara said.

"That's your opinion. Mine is different," I replied.

She chuckled.

"I'd ask to exchange crystal ball numbers, but I doubt King Eduard would like it."

"He saw that I have Dalv's number, and he's fine with it."

Hildoara breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank the gods," she said.

After that, we exchanged numbers. Hildoara smiled.

"Gustav, I know we're from different kingdoms, and I won't ask you to betray your king. But I still hope that we can rely on each other as friends," she said.

"I hope the same," I replied.

To my utter shock, Hildoara stood up and gave me a bow. I bowed back. Hildoara's eyes contained pure happiness. Hildoara stood up and spoke with a gentle voice.

"Gustav, I intend to treat you as my friend in all things. This is the least I can do to thank you. Even if we meet in public, I will not treat you as anything less. Even if become enemies, I will treat you as a friend and give you a quick death. The only way I will stop treating you as a friend is if you become my husband, and I know King Eduard would never approve of that."