Accountant Isekai

I stood before four monarchs: Voivode Dalv Sepet of Weltai, Queen Hildoara of Vandalland, and King Eduard the Defenestrator and Queen Eleanor of Greenrivers. Normally, I'd be so nervous that I'd be shaking all over.

But I was so tired from my 3-day long dragon ride that I didn't even feel pain from my bleeding hands. The ground under me had a pool of blood on it. Voivode Dalv kept gazing at the red liquid and quickly looking away.

Queen Eleanor walked over, and her hands glowed. She placed them on mine. My wounds healed instantly. The woman walked back to her husband's side. Voivode Dalv Sepet rode back to his men's camp and came back with an elixir.

"It'll keep you awake for a little longer," he said.

His face was one of utter calmness.

"Thanks," I replied.

I took the elixir and drank it. The drink tasted like a mixture of apple and grape juice. My tiredness dissipated just a little bit. Then, the gravity of the situation hit me like a nuclear bomb.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUCK! I'M IN FRONT OF FOUR MONARCHS! ONE OF THEM'S MY FAMILY'S LIEGE LORD! ANOTHER'S HIS WIFE!" I thought.

"Gustav, you've got to stop freaking out like this. You're my saint. You'll make me look bad. More importantly, you'll make your family look bad," Dʰéǵʰom said.

"You're right, you're right, but fuck!"

"Think about it this way. This is less dangerous than starring down a dragon."

I glanced at Cinnamon, remembering what I felt when I first met him.

"That's...a very good point."

I took a deep breath. Then, I clenched every muscle in my body to stop myself from shaking. After that, I stood with as much dignity as I could. While I was still tired, I had enough control to do this.

"Are you more awake now, Saint Gustav?" Eduard asked.

I'd calmed down as much as I could by that point. My nervousness was almost completely gone.

"Yes, your majesty," I gave him a bow. "First, this humble servant of Dʰéǵʰom would like to thank all four of you for talking to me. It is truly an honor to speak to you."

"Dʰéǵʰom, if you are listening to this, know that the people of Greenrivers are as devoted to you as ever," my king said.

"I know," Dʰéǵʰom stated.

"He knows," I relayed his reply.

"Good," Eduard nodded. "Let's not waste any more time. You said that you were here to make sure no one claimed the treasure?"

"Yes, Your Majesty. The Lost Treasure of Captain Omen is too dangerous to ever be claimed."

"And you said it wasn't cursed?" Eleanor questioned.

I nodded with grimness.

"That's right, Your Majesty. I'm afraid it's even worse than that."

"It is a dragon's treasure horde?" concern crossed her face.

"Even worse," I said.

"Will claiming it summon an evil spirit?" Eduard wondered.

I shook my head.

"Even worse," I stated.

"Will it call down the wrath of the gods?"

"Not that bad, but close."

"Will it cause anyone who claims it to go mad?" Hildoara asked.

"Worse than that," I answered.

"We've wasted too much time on this. Tell us what will happen, Saint Gustav," Eduard said.

"It'll cause hyperinflation."

"By the gods, our bodies will get bigger until we explode," Hildoara stated.

"It's not that," I assured her. "It's an economic problem."

Inflation is mostly a problem in societies with paper money. Hyperinflation in particular is typically caused by governments printing too much cash. There are other causes for inflation like shocks to supply chains.

However, inflation can be a problem in societies that use precious metals as currency. It happened in Ancient Rome when Roman emperors reduced the amount of silver they put in currency so they could make more coins. The Spanish suffered hyperinflation when the Conquistadors were too successful in getting gold from the Americas.

I doubted hyperinflation ever happened in my new world. We use precious metals as currency. Monarchs are also rarely in deep enough debt that they'd consider using less metal in coins to make more money. Voivode Dalv doesn't go to war unless it's defensive. All of King Eduard's non-defensive wars are against people who stand no chance against him. Motteburh nobles have other ways of getting wealth. And Vandalland's wars never built up massive debt. Dragons building up hordes also counteracts inflation from mining as well as adventures finding treasure. Trade being limited meant that there were few supply chains to be shocked.

"This is going to take some explaining," I said. "First, the Lost Treasure of Captain Omen has a lot of gold in it, right? I heard it was 10 times more gold than all the nations in our continent combined."

"The stories downplayed the amount. It's far more than that," Hildoara replied.

"Fuck!" I thought.

I took a deep breath, trying to gather my thoughts.

"Alright, I have a question: does anyone know why gold is valuable?" I asked.

"Because it looks good," Eleanor answered.

I nodded.

"That is part of it, but silver also looks good. And yet, silver miliarense are less valuable than gold hyperpya. Why is the silver coin worth less than the gold coin?"

"Because some king decided it would be that way, and no one since changed it," Eduard said.

I thought for a moment, trying to find a way to say my next words without contradicting my king. Then, I had an idea.

"That might very well be the case, Your Majesty. I'd go so far as to say that it's most likely the case. But kings rarely do things without reason. Why did that king decide that gold coins are more valuable than silver coins?" I questioned.

No one said anything. Their faces showed deep contemplation.

"Now, we're getting somewhere," I thought. "I know exactly what to do now."

I reached down and picked up a chunk of dirt. Then, I handed it to King Eduard.

"Your Majesty, would you like to buy this dirt?" I asked.

A mixture of confusion and disgust crossed his face.

"No," he answered.

"And why not?"

"Because it's dirt. I have no use for it."

King Eduard the Defenestrator looked like he thought I had lost my mind.

"I understand, Your Majesty," I said. "But what would you pay for this dirt if you decided you needed dirt?"

"I wouldn't pay anything. I can just send a servant to pick up dirt," King Eduard replied.

"And why would you send a servant rather than pay for the dirt I'm holding right here?"

"Because I won't have to pay the servant extra for it."

"That's a pretty good point," I admitted. "That example fell flat on its face."

I paced around, trying to find another good way to explain it. The monarchs watched me. King Eduard tapped his feet with impatience. Queen Eleanor's face was covered with eager anticipation. Queen Hildoara looked between me and the other monarchs. Voivode Dalv Sepet was playing on a crystal ball. Then, I had another idea.

"Let's say that you were going to buy a sword. You have two choices of sword: a sword from Greenrivers or a sword from the Far East. Neither sword is superior to the other. Which one would you pay more for?" I questioned.

"The Far East sword," King Eduard said.

"And why is that?" I asked.

"Because everyone with a sword has one from Greenrivers. No one has a sword from the Far East."

I grinned ear to ear.

"Exactly," I said. "All else being equal, you would pay for the sword that's more rare."

"The point being?" King Eduard wondered.

"Which is rarer, gold or silver?" I questioned.

"Gold, of..."

A massive "Oh, shit' look crossed King Eduard, Queen Eleanor, and Queen Hildoara's faces. They looked at each other with increasing fear in their eyes. Then, the monarchs turned to me.

"Are you saying that gold is valuable because it's rare?" Queen Eleanor questioned.

It was a no-brainer question in my old world. Here, I doubt anyone even considered why gold was valuable beyond looks. If I had to theorize, I'd say that King Eduard was just guessing when he said some king decided that gold was valuable.

"That is exactly what I'm saying, Your Majesty. If gold were as common as copper, it would not be anywhere near as valuable," I said. "And what do you think will happen if a massive amount of new gold is suddenly put in the economy? Perhaps more gold than the entire continent has? Say, gold from a legendary treasure?"

King Eduard, Queen Eleanor, and Hildoara turned pale with fear. I froze with shock, not expecting the monarchs to let any weakness show.

"They're taking this worse than I thought they would."

Then, my eyes felt heavy. My movements slowed. A weight crashed through my body.

"Dammit, the potion's wearing off!" I thought.

"By the gods, gold would lose all value," Hildoara said.

She trembled. King Eduard shared a look with his wife. They whispered a few words to each other and cringed.

"It would destroy our entire currency system. I don't even want to think about what that would do to the economy," King Eduard stated.

"What economy?" I asked. "There'll barely be one left if you claim the treasure."

"No one must ever claim the Lost Treasure of Captain Omen!" Queen Eleanor declared.

"We'll have to build a castle around it and put guards we can trust around it, make sure not a soul will get inside," King Eduard said.

"I'll help build the castle and send guards over. This is disputed land, so Vandalland has as much responsibility to keep people from getting the gold as Greenrivers does," Hildoara promised.

Voivode Dalv Sepet put his crystal ball away and rode over. His expression hadn't changed this whole time.

"It's as if he knows about inflation. He's a saint like I am, so maybe he's from another world too?" I thought.

"He is. He also has the godslayer ability, just like you," Dʰéǵʰom confirmed.

Shock blasted through my body. Dalv had the godslayer ability? Holy fuck!

"Why the fuck didn't you tell me this sooner?"

"Why would I?" the god questioned. "You didn't ask."

"Fuck, that's a good point," I thought.

My eyes turned to the Voivode.

"I'd rather keep my men in Weltai due to difficulties with troublesome boyars, but this is an issue that will affect Weltai too. I will send funds and supplies," Voivode Dalv said. "I'll get some paper so we can make an official agreement."

He rode to his camp. Queen Hildoara turned to me. She breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank Dʰéǵʰom you came when you did. Otherwise, we'd have started a war over whose economy got destroyed first," Queen Hildoara said.

I bowed.

"Think nothing of it, your Majesty. I am merely obeying Dʰéǵʰom's commands," I stated.

"Okay, you're being way too humble!" Dʰéǵʰom said.

"Do I look like an asskisser?" I thought.

I put my hand to my chin and pondered.

"You still deserve some credit. Large dragons don't care about the will of the gods, but you flew here on one," Queen Eleanor stated.

"It's not ass-kissing. I just want my saints to have a bit of edge to them. Not too much to insult the monarchs, but a little bit," Dʰéǵʰom said.

My face furrowed in concentration. I almost fell asleep where I stood, but I jolted awake.

"And the gods don't pick their saints randomly. They always chose humans with potential, potential that you've demonstrated," Queen Eleanor told me.

"Do I look like an edgelord?" I asked.

The monarchs looked at me with sudden surprise.

"I don't know what an edgelord is," Eleanor answered.

"You're right, Dʰéǵʰom. I need to be more edgy. Should I dress up in black?" I thought.

Somehow, I heard Dʰéǵʰom bashing his head against some hard object. He groaned.

"Please tell me you're just fucking with me or you're too tired to think straight because that isn't even remotely what I meant!" Dʰéǵʰom replied.

My eyes moved between the monarchs.

"Your majesties, how many chains and black clothing would I need to look like an edgelord?" I questioned.

"A...what?" Queen Eleanor said.

With a smile, I pointed one of my fingers at the sky.

"Dʰéǵʰom said I should become an edgelord," I stated.

"I said no such thing!" Dʰéǵʰom objected.

The monarchs looked like they saw someone trying to argue that the sky was purple.

"I've never heard of that title before," King Eduard the Defenestrator said. "But if you want a reward for saving the economy, I could get you it."

I knelt before him. Once more, I almost fell asleep, but I somehow managed to stay awake.

"My sincerest apologies, your Majesty, but no king can grant me the title of edgelord. It can only be given by angry people on crystal balls," I said.

King Eduard looked like his brain broke. He rubbed his hand over his forehead, pushing his hair back. Then, he turned to Queen Hildoara.

"Is edgelord a Vandalland title?" King Eduard asked.

"I've never heard of it before either. Maybe it's from Weltai?" she suggested.

They waited in silence for Voivode Dalv Sepet to return.

"Look what you've done now," Dʰéǵʰom sighed.

Soon enough, the Voivode came back. He had a few riders with him. They carried papers, quills, bottles of ink, and even a small table. Voivode Dalv had the same expression he had this whole time.

"Voivode Dalv, do you have the faintest idea what an edgelord is?" King Eduard questioned.

"No. It sounds like something you'd get from being a great swordsman," the Voivode pondered.

King Eduard shook his head.

"You get it by dressing up in black and wearing chains," he said.

"It can't be granted by kings either. Apparently, only angry people on crystal balls can make people edgelords," Queen Eleanor added.

Voivode Dalv Sepet's expression changed to one of utter confusion.

"What kind of lunatic would even make a title like that?" he wondered.

The king, queens, and voivode started trying to figure out what the fuck I was talking about.

"Dʰéǵʰom, the monarchs are completely confused, right?" I thought.

"Yeah, they are," he replied.

"And you're confused too?"

"Yes, I am."

"Vive la France!"

Dʰéǵʰom breathed a sigh of relief.

"Oh, good. You were just trolling us," he said.

"I'm still so tired that I can't feel my anything," I thought.

We were interrupted from...whatever the fuck I was doing by a great sound. It was heavy metal rock music.

"Oh, good. Some rock star's been reincarnated here," I said, forgetting to hide my thoughts.

Voivode Dalv looked at me with realization in his eyes.

"Saint Gustav's so tired that he's delusional. He probably dreamed up the edgelord title," he said. "Now, let's forget we ever had this conversation."

"Yes. We have a much more pressing issue to deal with," King Eduard agreed.

"I've already forgotten about it," Queen Hildoara stated.

I collapsed on the ground, tiredness overtaking me.

"Yes, treaty time," I said.

"That's not the issue, I'm afraid," Voivode Dalv replied. "That music is the war song of King Doomhell, leader of the largest faction of orcs."

"If they're here, it can only mean battle," King Eduard stated. "We'll have to join forces if we want to survive."

"None of us have a full army here. We'll be outnumbered by at least 10 to 1," Eleanor said.

"Oh...ummm...horrible...neat...scared...emotion...I'm gonna see an...badass...battle...orc...elephant...something," I muttered.

I fell right asleep.