Accountant Isekai

The giant worm stood over us, its countless eyes gazing with a feral hunger. Spittle dripped from its gaping maw. I took a deep breath.

"I'm not going to freeze up! I'm not going to panic! I won't be a burden to everyone!" I thought.

"Stand back, my Lord! That monster is dangerous!" Johannes shouted.

Joanna summoned a magic shield in front of us. The worm reared high into the air, its serpentine body curling over the shield.

It sprayed spit all over me. I was drenched in the liquid.

"What the fuck?" I said, disgust flowing through me.

"My Lord, it spits acid!" Johannes hollered.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"

Pain crept into my body. I could see my clothes and flesh alike dissolving. I waved my arms, trying to flick the acid off. Joanna pointed her hand at me. A great wind blasted forth. The acid was flung off my body, hitting the ground and carriage behind me.

"Thanks, Joanna," I breathed a sigh of relief and looked down.

The acid had dissolved most of my clothes. The remaining clothes were blown off by Joanna's wind spell.

"Fuck," I said.

With a great lunge, the worm launched itself at us. Joanna moved her magic shield in front of its path. There was a great crash as the worm collided with it. The shield was pushed back, and we were forced to move to avoid getting crushed.

I ran over to a wagon, grabbed a piece of cloth, and wrapped it around my body.

"Much better," I said.

"That's the first thing you do when we're being attacked by a giant worm?" Dmitri looked at me with exasperation.

"I'm not fighting that thing naked!" I replied. "Now, where are the mercenaries?"

"They fucked off the moment the worm got here!" Dimitri said. "Never trust bandits!"

The worm sprayed spit over the magic shield. It slid down the shield, landing on the ground below. Rage filled the monster's numerous eyes. Its body slammed into the shield once more. We were pushed back right next to the wagon.

"Johannes, can we distract that thing with spice?" I asked.

"No. Why do you even think we could?" he answered.

"That was pretty stupid of me," I admitted.

"It's fine. You're inexperienced. Western Deathworms can't be distracted with spice. You're thinking of Eastern Deathworms."

The deathworm moved around the shield. It crashed through the wagon, circling around behind us. When the deathworm crushed the wagon, it had to work its way through the wood and cargo. This slowed the monster down.

"Now! Shoot in its mouth!" Johannes shouted.

Joanna and I launched fireballs into the monster's gaping maw. It let out a scream of pain so cold that it chilled my bones. I clutched my body and shivered.

"Again!" Johannes said.

We launched more fireballs. The worm lurched back.

"Lord Dimitri, spectral chains!"

The necromancer placed his hands on the ground and chanted. Ghostly chains emerged from below. They wrapped around the worm. It took a single second for the monster to break out of them.

However, Johannes, Astrid, and Dr. Minos were able to close the distance in that short time. They leapt onto the deathworm. Astrid swung her greatsword, cutting deep into its flesh. Dr. Minos did the same with his axe. Johannes pulled out a dagger. He started stabbing the creature's eyes. Brown blood sprayed like a geyser.

The deathworm bucked upwards. Everyone on it was jolted towards the air. Astrid stabbed her greatsword deep into the monster and held on for dear life. Johannes did the same with his dagger. However, Dr. Minos was thrown into the air. Joanna cast a wind spell to slow his fall.

I shot a fireball at the worm's hide. It hit the monster hard, but when the smoke cleared, there was no burn mark on the deathworm. The monster hadn't even flinched. Fear had struck my heart. My entire body shook.

"Our fireballs do fuck all unless we hit its mouth! It'll figure that out soon, and then...Fuck! We're fucked!" I thought.

"Gustav, calm down. I know you can handle this. You've got some incredible spellcasters here, an experienced monster hunter, an incredibly skilled swordswoman, and a minotaur," Dʰéǵʰom encouraged me.

The deathworm slammed back into the ground, crashing into the ruined wagon. Dirt and splinters of wood flew everywhere. However, Astrid and Johannes stayed on its back. Astrid was breathing heavily, but she withdrew her greatsword and swung again. Johannes withdrew his dagger and kept stabbing its eyes. Dr. Minos crashed into a carriage. He stood up, bleeding from fragments of wood that stuck out of his body.

"It's blind on your side! Attack its mouth!" Johannes shouted.

Joanna, Dimitri, and I ran around the creature's side. I shot a fireball into its mouth. Joanna did the same. Dimitri summoned a spear of bone and thrust it into the creature's side. The spear snapped.

The deathworm reared its head. Its mouth faced the air. A sudden wave of heat washed over me.

"Why did it get warm?" I asked.

"The deathworm's absorbing the cold from the air. Only heat remains," Johannes answered.

"That...that doesn't make any sense!"

"There's a reason why the deathworm's doing this. The deathworm's going to do another chilling shriek. It'll be more powerful this time."

"That's not even remotely what I meant," I thought.

"We'll need another magic shield up," Johannes said.

He jumped off the deathworm with Astrid following him.

"I have an idea," I said. "Astrid, are you willing to sacrifice your greatsword to kill that thing? I'll buy you a new one."

"I am, my Lord," she said.

I grabbed her sword and charged the deathworm. I magically strengthened my legs as much as I could.

"You attacked me, hurt my friends, destroyed private property, and violated the laws of physics," I said. "As a lord, I judge you and find you guilty."

I used Astrid's greatsword and my enhanced legs to pole vault into the air. I landed on the edge of the deathworm's gaping maw. I gazed into its countless rows of teeth. Fear flowed through me, but I forced it down.

"The sentence is death!" I shouted.

With a great swing, I threw Astrid's greatsword down the creature's mouth. The weapon swerved to the side as it fell. It was caught in the deathworm's throat. Then, it froze.

I shot a fireball at the weapon. My spell was as hot as it could possibly be. The sudden heat after freezing caused the sword to shatter into pieces.

Fragments of the sword embedded themselves in the deathworm's throat. Several flew at me, but I used a wind spell to send them flying back.

Blood sprayed out of the worm's mouth. It slammed into me like a truck. I tumbled through the air, reinforcing my body with magic as I crashed to the ground. A blast of wind hit my back. My fall was slowed.

I still hit the ground with a loud thunk! My back and shoulders felt like they had been massaged by a gorilla.

Joanna ran over.

"Gustav, are you alright?" she asked.

"It's a good thing I reinforced my body with magic and you slowed my fall, or that would have broken my shoulders. Aside from that, I'm fine. Thank you," I answered.

Joanna helped me up. She cast a healing spell on me. Relief flowed through my body as my bruises were healed. We gazed at the corpse of the deathworm. Johannes walked over and examined the monster.

"The monster bled to death. It looks like Saint Gustav delivered the final blow," he said.

"I just finished it off. I wouldn't have been able to do that if the rest of you hadn't started the bleeding," I replied.

Astrid bowed deeply.

"You are too kind, my Lord," she said.

The merchant ran over. There was a smile of relief on his face. He bowed.

"Thank you, all of you! You saved us from that monster!" he stated. "You'll get paid for this."

"There's no need. Protecting this caravan was part of our agreement," Dimitri said.

"No, I insist. I can't look ungrateful to a lord and a saint," the merchant replied. "And besides, those damn mercenaries ran off. I can just give you what I was going to pay them."

"Yes! Some money! I need this desperately!" I thought. "But would it be right to take any of it? I barely did anything. Johannes did most of the work. All I did was finish the worm off."

"You shot it with fireballs too," Dʰéǵʰom pointed out.

"Joanna did that too. Pretty much everyone did more work than I did," I pointed out.

"I'm sure you'll do the right thing."

"I will. I don't have the luxury of being generous, but I can't take credit that I don't deserve," I promised.

The merchant paid us, and I turned to my companions. I divided my payment into 8 pieces.

"I'll take one share of this, and the rest of you get one share too. Except for Johannes. He gets two," I said.

Shock covered everyone's faces. Joanna in particular was surprised.

"Gustav, are you sure this is a good idea?" she asked.

"I am. It's what I must do as a lord and a saint," I answered.

"Joanna's gonna give me a massive lecture later. I just gave away funds that could help pay off our family's debt, and I still have to buy Astrid a new greatsword," I thought. "I'm such a fucking idiot."

"Thank you, my Lord," Astrid said.

Johannes and the others were about to thank me too. I held up my hand.

"Don't thank me. Just take your coin. I need to focus on something else. Johannes, grab your coin and follow me," I stated.

I walked over to the deathworm's corpse. The creature was smaller than I first thought it was. That wasn't saying much because it was still bigger than an elephant. Still, it was good to know that if it landed on me, I'd be slightly less of a red stain on the ground.

Johannes stepped next to me. There was a curious expression on his face.

"What do you need, my Lord?" he asked.

"How do deathworms taste?" I questioned.

Dʰéǵʰom burst out laughing.

"Have you ever eaten a pinecone?" Johannes wondered.

"Yes," I said.

"Why am I not surprised?" Dʰéǵʰom spoke.

"Imagine the taste of a pinecone. Now, think of it but five times as chewy. Add more indigestion," Johannes said.

"There goes that plan. Johannes, when I shot the Deathworm's body, my fireball did nothing. But your swords hurt it. Why is that?"

"Deathworm hide is resistant to magic."

"Then we could cut it off and make armor out of it," I stated.

"I'm afraid not, my Lord. Deathworm hide needs to be thick to resist spells. Armor from it would be too heavy to wear," Johannes replied.

"Is there any part of the deathworm that we could sell?"

"Yes. The deathworm's eyes harden when they die. Some people will pay money for them," he said.

"Alright!"

I smiled and ran over to the eyes Johannes hadn't destroyed. They were crystalline, purple, and gold. Grabbing one of them, I tried to pull it out. The eye wouldn't budge. I pulled out a dagger and started prying it. It popped out of the socket after a few moments.

"And that's...how much do these sell for, Johannes?" I asked.

"It depends on where you sell them. But it's normally a lot," he answered.

"Yes! Time to get more money!" I said.

I moved to another eye and started prying it out.

"My Lord, you are both greedy and generous," Johannes stated.

Stopping my prying, I turned to him.

"Is that a compliment or an insult?" I asked.

"I'm just confused. How can you be both?" Johannes wondered.

"That's need-to-know information," I said.

"So, I need to know it?"

"No, you don't. That's why I'm not telling you."

"I'll tell him about my family's debts later. I can't risk Dimitri or anyone else finding out. Right now, it'd be better if he thought I was just greedy," I thought.

"If news of your debts spread, people would try to take advantage of you," Dʰéǵʰom agreed.

When I pried out all the remaining eyes, I put them in a sack. Then, I returned to the caravan. Several workers were grabbing goods from the destroyed cart and bringing them to other carriages. I saw the head merchant talking to Dimitri and Joanna.

"We've salvaged some of the goods, my Lord, but most of them are lost. This is what usually happens on trips like this," the merchant said.

"I can see why merchants outside of Weltai don't travel far," Dimitri noted.

"Yes. Weltai is the safest place in the world. It's amazing how blessed the people there are," Joanna stated.

"And I didn't even know that until now. I need to travel more," Dimitri said.

Guilt coated his face.

"Looks like the dangers merchants face outside of Weltai finally sunk in," I thought.

"None of this is your fault. You don't need to worry," the merchant assured Dimitri.

"Ignorance is a sin, always. I should at least be able to give my sympathies."

Dimitri then turned to me.

"Saint Gustav, will your plan help these people? Will it really work?" he asked.

"If we can pull it off, it will help," I answered.

I projected false confidence. Deep down, I was scared shitless.

"Good," Dimitri's words were terse.

"We just need to wait for the merchants to transfer the goods. Soon, if there are no interruptions, we'll face down a dragon," I thought.

My hands were clenched so hard that I felt they'd crack.