Accountant Isekai

We were surrounded by a black-as-night forest as our caravan crept through the countryside. Wolves howled in the distance, their music sending a chill down my spine. Every shadow seemed to jump at us. I inched deeper into the cart I was in.

"This forest is fucking creepy," I said.

"It is, my Lord," Astrid agreed.

Dr. Minos shrugged.

"Of course, a minotaur would be fine with this," Joanna sighed.

"Johannes, how many monsters do you think are here?" I asked.

"About 5,000," he answered.

I swayed, almost falling down. Joanna caught me. My eyes turned to Dimitri, whose face was pale with fear. Astrid kept looking out of the wagon. She trembled in her seat.

"Take deep breaths, just calm down," Joanna said. "I can't blame any of you for being nervous. You're new to this sort of thing."

"I've never fought a monster before. I fly dragons everywhere," Astrid admitted.

"Don't worry. If the monsters wanted to attack us, they would have already," Johannes said.

"Now's the perfect time for you to tell us how to hunt monsters," I stated.

"I will, my Lord. First, did anyone fight monsters before?"

"I went adventuring with Joanna once," I replied.

"I was an adventurer centuries ago and fought a few monsters since then," Joanna said.

Dr. Minos pulled out a piece of paper and wrote on it. He turned it around.

"Minotaur mating rituals involve a clash of horns designed to prove which minotaur is worthy of reproducing. I have engaged in one of those rituals so far. Aside from that, territorial disputes between myself and other monsters occur but are uncommon. The food we consume is fundamentally different, and there is little else for us to engage in combat regarding," it read.

Dimitri, Astrid, and Johannes looked on in stunned silence.

"I didn't think he knew how to write," Astrid stated.

"I didn't expect him to have such a... sophisticated vocabulary," Dimitri said.

"Why? Dr. Minos has a PHD," I replied.

"He does?"

"Yes. Why do you think he's called Dr.?" I asked.

"I thought you were being insane!" Dimitri answered.

"Please don't insult my Lord," Astrid said.

"Being called insane isn't an insult," I replied.

"If they're talking about you, it's a statement of fact," Dʰéǵʰom said.

"I meant no offense," Dimitri stated.

"Let's get back to the main topic," I said. "Johannes, how do you fight monsters?"

"The first rule of fighting monsters: fight like a dirty bastard," Johannes explained.

"So, what people usually do when fighting anything?" I asked.

"Do it more than that. Use every advantage you can think of to win. Only an idiot goes into a monster's lair and fights fair," he answered.

"Are you calling adventurers idiots?" Joanna narrowed her eyes.

"No. Adventurers get spellcasters to help them," Johannes said.

"But you just said that fighting monsters fairly is stupid."

"Using magic isn't fighting fair."

"That's different than everything I've heard," Dimitri noted.

"It's what commoners think, not nobles," Astrid explained.

"Well, only idiots believe in fair fights, so it doesn't matter that much," I shrugged.

"Fair fights outside of duels," Dimitri said. "Speaking of which, I could use someone to practice duels with..."

"No! No! Please no!" Johannes begged.

"Saint Gustav!" Astrid got on her knees and planted her face into the wagon's floor. "Please, no magical duel practice! People have died of boredom watching those!"

"Don't worry, we won't do any magical duel practice. You'll have to learn the rules eventually if you're going to learn magic, but that can wait," I said.

"I never understood why commoners dislike magical duels," Dimitri stated.

"I've read accounts of them. The first few times, they're funny, but they get old really quick," I said.

"If I didn't know you so well, I'd be shocked by this," Joanna sighed.

Then, a sudden rumbling caught everyone's attention. I looked outside to see that we had entered a great field. A massive worm burst out of the ground. Its hundred eyes glared at us with malevolent intent.